thought this would make you laugh!

5 replies [Last post]
Joey Camb's picture
Offline
Joined:
04/02/2010

Cow-based Economics Lessons

COALITION
You have 2 Cows - the milk's run dry. They're bullocks.

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows. - You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows. - The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows. - The State takes both and sells you some milk.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows. - You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows. - You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. - You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. - You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. - You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. - You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. - You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. - Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. - You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. - Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows. - The one on the left looks very attractive.

__________________

Don't mess with me today or I will kill you!!!!

 

Silverspoon's picture
Offline
Joined:
10/16/2011

 LOL!!!  I am on the floor with this one....it really nailed it!

__________________

Gardens are not made by singing "Oh, how beautiful" and sitting in the shade.
Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

 

Joey Camb's picture
Offline
Joined:
04/02/2010

nope a bullock in this country is a young male cow ie does not produce any kind of milk!

Madeleine's picture
Offline
Joined:
09/29/2011

I've never seen that before, it's pretty funny.

__________________

Everyday, for good or ill, we intersect with some else's story and become a part of it.

 

Arks's picture
Offline
Joined:
05/22/2010

I've always enjoyed these, though I didn't understand the first one about the bull and the ox. Eye-wink

__________________

All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep hotel. ~ Mark Twain

 

gillumhouse's picture
Online
Joined:
05/22/2008

I think it means Done, over, kaput, crap.

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.