Invitations

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10/07/2008

Totally off topic, but since you all are a fount of knowledge and from various locations I thought I would ask you.

Everywhere I have lived, it has always been standard drill when we got a wedding invite to have it addressed to the whole family. Growing up, that meant we as kids went with our parents, having kids it means our kids go with us, since we are a family. But is this changing? Is there a new fad I am unaware of, as I know weddings have fads probably more than anything else!

I am wondering as this has happened twice now within a year. Regular sized weddings, not elopements or small weddings. DH does not know how to respond to the invite from work, he doesn't want to ask so I thought I would ask you, it is someone he knows fairly well.

PS Edited to add, not a southerner, as theyseem to invite the whole family and the weddings are all day affairs...

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04/21/2010

Been happening for a while. Weddings are spendy. I totally love it when kids have to learn to polka or dance forro at a wedding. I personally would skip the violinist and ice sculpture and bring on the kids. Smiling

Breakfast Diva's picture
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05/26/2009

toddburme wrote:

Been happening for a while. Weddings are spendy. I totally love it when kids have to learn to polka or dance forro at a wedding. I personally would skip the violinist and ice sculpture and bring on the kids. Smiling

Believe me, it's not the violinist that's raking in the money!

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07/20/2009

Addressed to Mr, Mrs, .........2 person invite

To Mr, or Ms - Miss and guest.........2 person invite

Mr and Mrs and family...........2+ person invite

"Smith" family....................2+ person invite

Mr - Ms - Miss or Mrs (single)..................1 person invite

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One Day wrote:

Addressed to Mr, Mrs, .........2 person invite

To Mr, or Ms - Miss and guest.........2 person invite

Mr and Mrs and family...........2+ person invite

"Smith" family....................2+ person invite

Mr - Ms - Miss or Mrs (single)..................1 person invite

I get who it was addressed to, and all of that, I am just wondering if this is a fad where people don't invite your family, when you have a family at home. I mean, if I invited Penelope to this, knowing she has kids I would invite the family, meaning her, the husband and the kids. Just as an example.  I seem to see this more and more, now my sister's kids, oi veigh, might have to not invite anyone just in case...

Not a big deal, just wondering. We most likely won't be able to make this Spring weekend wedding anyway! 

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08/04/2008

Joey Bloggs wrote:

One Day wrote:

Addressed to Mr, Mrs, .........2 person invite

To Mr, or Ms - Miss and guest.........2 person invite

Mr and Mrs and family...........2+ person invite

"Smith" family....................2+ person invite

Mr - Ms - Miss or Mrs (single)..................1 person invite

I get who it was addressed to, and all of that, I am just wondering if this is a fad where people don't invite your family, when you have a family at home. I mean, if I invited Penelope to this, knowing she has kids I would invite the family, meaning her, the husband and the kids. Just as an example.  I seem to see this more and more, now my sister's kids, oi veigh, might have to not invite anyone just in case...

Not a big deal, just wondering. We most likely won't be able to make this Spring weekend wedding anyway! 

And we'd make the trip for you, too Smiling

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05/30/2008

No, it is not uncommon not to invite children, or not to invite an entire family.  It's totally up to the bride & groom as to who they want to invite/include in the celebration of their nuptials and also invite to the reception afterwards.  It has nothing to do with slighting or not being inclusive. 

This is not a new trend at all, imvvho.  

We have even received invitations to weddings that did not include grown, adult children.

You can always decline if you feel that you can't attend without your children.

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08/23/2011

I have had the worst invitation to a wedding possible.

My brother, at the age of 70 was married 2 years ago.  I think, why get married when you are that old?  Just me I guess.

Anyways, I have 4 children all over the age of 20.  Not one of them were invited because his "bride" didn't like them!!!!

Can choose your friends but not your family.

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Silverspoon's picture
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10/16/2011

 Unless the invitation is for Mr. and Mrs and family, you can assume that kids are not invited.  Adult oriented weddings are not unusual at all in New England since many are formal evening affairs. 

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10/07/2008

Silverspoon wrote:

 Unless the invitation is for Mr. and Mrs and family, you can assume that kids are not invited.  Adult oriented weddings are not unusual at all in New England since many are formal evening affairs. 

No it is not for the family, that is what I mean, it is Mr & Mrs US party of two.  I guess I am not accustomed to this, we are always a family, when it comes to these events. I can see if the kids did not live at home, or away to college. I think it is the same with graduations - I know space is limited and they can only invite specifically, anyone else is just used as a grad gift!  

Trends come and go, I can't imagine keeping track of it all. Same with baby showers, things we used to do are taboo nowadays, you never know what is the latest.

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05/22/2008

 I too assume if it is just Mr & Mrs. that is all that is invited.  My niece is getting married at the end of the month and is expecting 400!!!!!  We'll be lost in the crowd for sure.

Madeleine's picture
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09/29/2011

The invite is addressed to whomever the bride & groom are inviting. So, if the invite is addressed to 'Mr & Mrs Joey B' then that is who is invited. If it is addressed to 'Mr Joey B' then just he is invited. If it says 'Mr & Mrs Joey B and family' then you're all invited.

Nothing has changed. Invites that have one name on them are for that one person. No dates, no spouses, no family.

I think the latest trend is for invitees to invite along whomever they please regardless of what the invite states. So I know (reading the online wedding trends) that brides are being faced with RSVP's coming back with 5-6 extra people listed. Uninvited extra people. Moms & dads are 'inviting' their children to attend an event to which children were not invited. Singles are 'inviting' a date who is also not expected, planned for or able to be accommodated.

I know when I sent my invites out I listed 'and family' for all of DH's siblings with small kids. 'Kids' not living at home got their own invite.

Because of the high cost of hosting a wedding a lot of couples are now inviting only the adults unless they are close family. So, for work friends it's only the friend and spouse or date and sometimes not even the spouse if money is tight.

The only weddings I ever went to as a kid were family weddings, never my parents' friends' weddings.

Not sure if that helped with your invite or not!

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OnTheShore's picture
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08/28/2011

Agree that is is not uncommon to not invite the kids -- many weddings are adult affairs only. Some wedding hosts will however make an effort to provide for or help arrange babysitting.

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10/07/2008

Harborfields wrote:

Agree that is is not uncommon to not invite the kids -- many weddings are adult affairs only. Some wedding hosts will however make an effort to provide for or help arrange babysitting.

My kids aren't babysitter worthy, they are in high school. Smiling

gillumhouse's picture
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05/22/2008

We have received many invitations for Mr & Mrs or one name and guest, especially if local. Kids are not invited - invite one and you get all - bored, noisy, BRATS...... Plus it is expensive enough to do a reception with many not bothering to give a RSVP and add in kids who may or may not touch that expensive plate of food.....

Ice
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02/22/2010

If the envelope was just address Mr & Mrs. So and So, then it was just an invite for them NO KIDS!

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