Naive person wondering - Why are you anonymous?

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Kay Nein's picture
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 I've seen quite a few members here that are anonymous, in hiding, venting from behind a black curtain.  And I've heard a few express a little surprise (for lack of a better word) at the fact that I have all my information out for all to see (though I'm not the only one).

I assume the reason you are on here anonymously is because you want the freedom to bash guests and whine about stuff without it reflecting badly on your Inn.  Is that correct?  Are there other reasons?  I'm wondering if I should be anonymous also... 

 

- Jan Smith
*wink*

Tom
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All the other responses have their valid points, but there is a bit of identity that is helpful; I always wish there was a little more context for posts: size of inn, geography.  When someone's experience is really different, I wonder why, maybe it is where they are located or that they have 2 rooms -- or 12.

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Tom wrote:

All the other responses have their valid points, but there is a bit of identity that is helpful; I always wish there was a little more context for posts: size of inn, geography.  When someone's experience is really different, I wonder why, maybe it is where they are located or that they have 2 rooms -- or 12.

Tom, I understand your point as I have had that same thought.  But as you can see it did not change my willingness to come out from behind my cover. 

YellowSocks's picture
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I'm not anon.  All my guests are perfect! (Um, usually...)

But I googled my name the other day and my innspiring profile was in the top ten results, so caution is appropriate and I'll probably be updating that profile soon.

=)
Kk.

seashanty's picture
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Another thing about anonymous posting ... yes, a guest of mine might wander in here and discover a post that they are sure is about him/her, feel certain that must be me/my inn.  maybe they will search throughout the posts and piece things together.  but can they be absolutely certain?  

But ... this is different from my name and/or my inn being found in an online search where I have ranted and identified myself in the same piece. 

That's the chance I took if I went on an absolute rant ... although I could have created a second ID if I'd really wanted to. 

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I think if someone were to track you down and see a post they think is about them they must be a bit paranoid.  Then again, if the shoe fits......

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Arks's picture
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Colleen848 wrote:

...they must be a bit paranoid.  Then again, if the shoe fits......

Exactly. Paranoid and capable of causing you a lot of grief you'd rather do without.

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Cbz
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Breakfast Diva's words pretty much sums up the whole anonymous idea.

This site does command top position on search engines, which is good but you can have whackos tracking you.

Started off without any experience - had well thought out policies which seemed to backfire in practical world of innkeeping,  problems/solutions which only an innkeeper would know of, venting -definitely.. atleast i got a place to vent.. would have been on verge of insanity dealing with some  guests without any outlet & words of wisdom from fellow innkeepers.

Na, really... wouldn't want the guests to know the trial of patience on my part when dealing with amusing situations/guests/unreasonable demands ("open this b&b near town centre, repair the public road, shoo away the crows/sparrows/eagles flying above, have monkeys(!!!) come to your garden" - duh.. double duh)

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I used to work as an innkeeper assistant. I am anon so I can be on here without being able to be tracked by either the googling public or my boss Smiling

 

Madeleine's picture
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Here's a real-time, real life answer to that...someone just signed up to ask how to do their taxes. With their inn name in their sig line. This stuff is searchable people! Don't do something foolish on your taxes with a 'paper trail' out there!

BTW, this is why I would never post an answer to a legal question under my real name. Someone will try to sue if my info isn't 100% correct and they get audited, fined, lose their business. (I try to avoid answering these questions anyway.)

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I am not a fan of being anonymous as it seems to allow people to be snippier. But after being here a while, I realized I had to filter my tales. Some big issues went without the help of the forum as I did not feel comfortable giving out enough facts to get good answers. Everything has tradeoff costs.

Madeleine's picture
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toddburme wrote:

I am not a fan of being anonymous as it seems to allow people to be snippier. But after being here a while, I realized I had to filter my tales. Some big issues went without the help of the forum as I did not feel comfortable giving out enough facts to get good answers. Everything has tradeoff costs.

This is why you need an 'anon' ID as well. You pop in here and say, 'You all know me but I need to be undercover for this one' and then tell your tale of woe so we can help. BTW, if you use that line and you're NOT a long timer, we'll know, we'll track you down.

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Not a bad idea. But if someone bothered to track me down, it would feel creepy.

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toddburme wrote:

Not a bad idea. But if someone bothered to track me down, it would feel creepy.

Has happened to me. Was a psycho from the old forum. Yes I said PSYCHO. A PSYCHO INNKEEPER. We have had a couple of those, two come immediately to mind with threats and psycho-ness. They were banned and blocked from the forum.

I go back and forth on this issue, as we have our info OUT there on our websites social media etc. I don't like it when SOCIAL MEDIA, primarily FB speaks so personally to me. But I am the innkeeper, what can I do. 

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swirt's picture
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 I encourage newcomers to start the anon identity first, then create the non-anon identity later if the need arises.  Doing it the other way around makes it hard to put the genie back in the bottle.  This does not apply to vendors, they must operate in the open from day one.

Reminder that dual accounts are allowed, but there are a couple of restrictions. See the secton on Multiple accounts.

seashanty's picture
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haha, the old man and the skillet ... instead of the old man and the sea. 

seashanty's picture
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i did my share of ranting, worrying, asking, you name it.

but also, i ran my inn alone ... sometimes, i was able to have my grown son with me, sometimes not.  often, especially on weekends, he was not there.

  all on here who got to know me got to know that i was flying solo throughout the nite.  this was NOT something i made known on my website and certainly not something i wanted to share with everyone. 

i am reminded of the time i went to a dunkin donuts about 9 at night and said to the lone girl working, 'are you here all aone?'  i NEVER should have asked such a thing.  she said, 'no, the manager is in the back' ... totally right thing to say whether true or not.  i immediately apologized for asking that question.  i asked like a mom, out of concern, but it was wrong of me to ask.

 

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My 5', 90 lb daughter used to close the Subway shop she worked at. NONE of the guys would go outside to the dumpster. They would stand in the doorway and yell encouragement to her as she hauled the trash in the dark to the back of the parking lot.

(I did not know this until after she went to college.)

A guy came out from the behind the building one night and her 'backup' slammed the door to the shop closed so she was stuck outside. After that she went to the dumpster with a knife tucked in her belt. (No, not the best thing, but she's a scrapper.)

I never tell guests I'm here alone. I know you did this by yourself, but I don't even like to take guests when I'm alone. Mostly because I'm afraid something is going to break that I can't fix, less because I'm afraid of the guests, but still, I don't like it.

And I haven't had to threaten a guest with an iron skillet either. So, you're a scrapper, too!

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A little known truth many may be over looking...

 

When you tell your war stories.......you out yourself......not internet at large, but to the few that are involved with said war story

Case in point.......the below story of having to evict 2 guests.....those in the story are involved. Nothing stopping the other party from tripping onto this forum and just happen to be reading the story of them.

Caution is warrented when telling war stories as well

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One Day wrote:

A little known truth many may be over looking...

 

When you tell your war stories.......you out yourself......not internet at large, but to the few that are involved with said war story

Case in point.......the below story of having to evict 2 guests.....those in the story are involved. Nothing stopping the other party from tripping onto this forum and just happen to be reading the story of them.

Caution is warrented when telling war stories as well

Nope not guests, no money traded hands. Smiling  I am not as silly as you think I am. I won't share info that could be tracked back to me.  (BAD STORIES or DETAILS OF PEOPLE anyway) I will share tons of other good stuff!

For those who WANT to share stories here about guests, mix it up a bit, don't be so accurate. Enough to share the story without getting yourself into trouble.

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The opportunity to listen, ask questions, and most of all support and learn would not be so free and easy if everyone was out in the open.  As stated above, the last thing an innkeeper wants is a guest reading about something that is not going right, not working, or some mishap you are trying to deal with.  As with many things in life perception is everything.  I am thankful to those members that have answered my inane questions, taken the time to email me, and respond to silly things.  I am equally thankful that I can be here to learn from those with far more experience than I.  And if I am lucky once in a while I have something of value to contribute.

The last thing I want is a prospective guest to read up on all my posts as I slowly inch toward opening my dream.  In my 30+ years in the corporate and small business world this forum far exceeds all others in which I have participated.  The anonymity allows for the occasional foot in mouth disease to go away with a little less flak on the back end.

To all the members on this forum, I just want to say, anonymous or not I appreciate all your sage, direct, candid, and valuable advice.

Kay Nein's picture
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 Ok, I am now K9...   It's in reference to my alter-ego =)

I am a Search & Rescue volunteer and am training one of my German Shepherds to track down people by following their scent trail.  It's what I do in my spare time when I'm not making breakfast and washing sheets... 

 

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 In case you need an avatar goo.gl/5smkv

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Kay Nein's picture
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 lmao... yeah, that's probably more "me" than the one I was trying to upload.  Thanks!  =)

Generic's picture
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Big Marvin fan here.... so when I saw the name, it's the first thing that flashed into my mind. Now all I need is the Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator

Arks's picture
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Eric Arthur Blair wrote:

Big Marvin fan here.... so when I saw the name...

Big Doctor Who fan here.... so when I saw the name, here is what I thought of:

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Madeleine's picture
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K9 is also the name of my AV software.

Kay Nein's picture
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I agree, "bash" and "whine" were harsh terms.  I enjoy the comeraderie among everyone here and hope to one day be one of the oldtimers who know everyone and can get the inside jokes =)  Having a neutral, like-minded atmosphere to trade discussions it very important in any industry.  

I think you've convinved me that I should probably go undercover as well.  Especially as a new innkkeeper, I don't need any trouble!!!  

    now to figure out an alias... hhhmmmmm

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I am "out there" because I do not have enough gray cells to remember to not "out" my anon - and this has been done a few times that one of us has sent an e-mail, You did an oops and better fix it.

We need to be able to vent and this is not a closed society. WE were very shocked the first time an inn-goer posted on here! HER point of view as a guest was interesting at times and helpful - BUT it was a reminder that there could be others lurking behind the curtain.

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Actually a guest of an inn was on here once or twice as well. They called the innkeeper by her "user name"  when they were at her inn.

When I had a guest who I had to pick up the phone to call the police to have her removed, a female and her daughter this past summer, youbetchya I was happy to be able to share the experience online.  Smiling No names, just the terrible experience that had me shaking, crying and nearly throwing up.  This forum is a community. It is for innkeepers. It is not for marketing.

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Absolutely, JB..it's "where innkeepers belong" and they should feel comfortable. 

And y'all let some of us former innkeeps hang around, too. 

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Breakfast Diva's picture
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Once an innkeeper, always an innkeeper!

Joey Camb's picture
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I think part of it is guests like to pretend to themselves that we are all fully trained perfect all the time fully experienced people - to the point that they don't want to know we are people and have off days and things go wrong - if they read this it may make them worry what if XYZ happens while they are staying ie its happened before. I chat regularly with people ouside the forum as sometimes you just want someone to say no you aren't thick I don't understand that either or say to people is it just me who has a problem with XYZ and so on. It is a bit different for me as a UK business as most of the people on here are US it makes me harder to find so to speak!

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Breakfast Diva's picture
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I started out on here out in the open. You will find that this site is powerful on google and will show up on searches very quickly for your inn. Do you really want your guests to know the struggles you go through? Do you want them to know about a policy that's not working and they can take advantage of it? It's very possible they will. Most of us know who the regulars are...it happens over time and trust.

I had a "stalker" innkeeper harass me and even call and leave a message. That's when I went undercover. I think using the terms "bash" & "whine" describes what we do here in a very negative light. Sometimes it's the only place we have to vent, because no matter how hard they try, family and friends never really understand what we do as innkeepers and we need other innkeepers sometimes to just say "everything will be ok".

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Well stated, Diva!  I had no idea that you had a "stalker" innkeeper!  That's creepy....

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Folks can choose to be anon or not on this forum.  Some of us do want the freedom to post without it being linked to our property or us personally, but are happy to connect via email with our inn-mates...some don't even want to do that.  I personally do not think that most anonymous members of the forum remain anonymous simply to vent their spleen.  It is indeed freedom of choice. 

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 Yes that is the whole point of this forum. We can be anonymous if we want and complain as much as we want about guests etc etc. and they don't know who we are. Some chose to be right out there and that is fine and dandy. Your choice!

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Pretty harsh words.

When you find that stalker checking in late at night knowing you are alone from everything you have posted on the world wide web and attached your name and inn to it, then you might think differently. Just an example. No one was "bashed" except the stalker in my commentary.

Madeleine's picture
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I'm here anon because I do want to complain, advise and ask questions without having my inn name show up in association with some of my more vehement posts! (Last thing I need is someone who just got charged for a cancellation see that sometimes I don't charge for whatever reason!)

I used to vent a LOT about guests and I didn't want them finding themselves being vented about!

Silverspoon's picture
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 I am here ananymously because it is the one place I dare to be vulnerable and know that my fellow innkeepers will give me honest feedback without eviscerating my ego.   Or at least I hope they won't.  But I certainly do not want my guests knowing my tender parts, nor do I trust that the lurkers won't use some of my comments against me.  That is why I am silverspoon, not Jane Doe, the innkeeper at XYZ B+B.  This World Wide Web is great, but it's no place to be vulnerable in front of strangers. The hairs on the back of my neck were raised by some of experiences shared here...stalkers? Yikes!   Although I have only been here for a few months, I feel at home and know that if I need to vent, ask for advice or share an honest opinion, there will be a fellow inn keeper ear for my thoughts. 

Perhaps in time I will share my identity, privately, with other members.  For now, it feels OK to just be anonymous.  

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Silverspoon wrote:

 I am here ananymously because it is the one place I dare to be vulnerable and know that my fellow innkeepers will give me honest feedback without eviscerating my ego.   Or at least I hope they won't.  But I certainly do not want my guests knowing my tender parts, nor do I trust that the lurkers won't use some of my comments against me.  That is why I am silverspoon, not Jane Doe, the innkeeper at XYZ B+B.  This World Wide Web is great, but it's no place to be vulnerable in front of strangers. The hairs on the back of my neck were raised by some of experiences shared here...stalkers? Yikes!   Although I have only been here for a few months, I feel at home and know that if I need to vent, ask for advice or share an honest opinion, there will be a fellow inn keeper ear for my thoughts. 

Perhaps in time I will share my identity, privately, with other members.  For now, it feels OK to just be anonymous.  

Too many of us are sleuths and can figure out from bits and pieces where a forum member is/B&B/inn. Smiling  But not all hide our ID here some share plenty to piece it together, with blog links etc, but just don't have our name and url on our user tag.

Silverspoon's picture
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 Ahhh, you might THINK you have figured out who a forum member is by sleuthing around, but then again.....who says that forum members are dropping true bits and pieces for you to follow?   Borrowed crumbs work just as well as the truth to get a point across here.  Point is, you can't really KNOW who someone is unless they tell you. On the other hand, congratulations to you if you are "ballsy" enough to be "out".  

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