Yes... I Complained!

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Generic's picture
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We had a guest come through the border last month where a border agent asked why he was coming to the city. He said he was coming for a festival and was prompted for the specific name of the festival. It was a LGBT festival and the border agent made an inappropriate comment. That comment was a violation of our human rights charter, but besides that, I don't want that kind of bad impression left on the guests to this country, so I complained! The superintendent didn't take it seriously on the telephone, so I escalated the complaint. Today I got a letter back from the director saying that they can't tell me much, since there is a third party involved (i.e. my guest) but they did send me back the following...

"However please rest assured that your comments have been taken seriously, and steps have been taken to investigate the incident mentioned and to ensure that our officers maintain a professional conduct in this regard in their dealings with the travelling public."

There is also a thank you, saying "constructive criticsm enables us to closely monitor and control the service that we offer to the travelling public." 

So yes, I'm glad that I was a sh... disturber!

PS: We had other guests who went to the festival as well, an older European couple (not LGBT) as well as others, because it was just a fun thing for people to do. Good music, a drag show, dancing...

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PhineasSwann's picture
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As a Southerner now living in the Northeast, let me say this: Good manners should ALWAYS trump your personal beliefs.  

I don't share the views of those who don't like the LGBT community. But even if I did, you're in the HOSPITALITY business, people.  Either be hospitable, of sell your inn and work at Wal-Mart!

 

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Tom
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Coming a little late, trying to figure out what "we can all agree to disagree about".

We cater to tourists.  A tourist was insulted by a comment made by a government employee.  He was sufficiently offended that he mentioned it to the innkeeper.  The innkeeper complained to his  government which eventually agreed that such behavior was inappropriate.

Hard to see what we can agree to disagree with here. 

Ignore that the actual offense related to a formally federally protected class; it is just socially wrong.  Suppose the guests was obese and the border official made an upsetting wisecrack about him visiting the pie festival.  Wouldn't that warrant a complaint?  I would think almost any of us would stand up for any one bullied by petty authority.

Peter Tosh: " I don't want no peace, I need equal rights and justice ... "

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Yes, we can all agree to disagree about a lot of things.  I have friends that I do not broach certain subjects with as they have wildly divergent beliefs from mine.  Do I still like them as individuals?  You bet.  Do I admire them in many ways?  Of course.  Diversity makes the world go 'round.  Coexist.

 

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seashanty's picture
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frown

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seashanty's picture
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can we just agree to disagree and let this issue rest now?

 

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I do not think this is a religious issue or a political one. If I am choosing to do something legal and you are in the border guard, do not make inappropriate remarks.

We all deal with the public and none of us would think this was ok for us or a our staff to do.

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I actually find intolerance from most anyone who has views different than theirs. My personal beliefs are sacred to me, and I will continue to believe them, and honor them. I don't want to open the can of worms here, but it is already opening. 

Life is sacred.

Marriage is sacred.

G_d is sacred.

(You better flag me now). 

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Breakfast Diva's picture
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Eric, I agree with you and frankly, I think all if not most of us do. It's about respect.....from everyone.

JB, I respect your beliefs and admire you for having them so strongly. I also know that when it comes to your business you treat all your guests with respect even if you don't agree with them.

That's the way it should be. On this, I think we can all agree.

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Breakfast Diva wrote:

Eric, I agree with you and frankly, I think all if not most of us do. It's about respect.....from everyone.

JB, I respect your beliefs and admire you for having them so strongly. I also know that when it comes to your business you treat all your guests with respect even if you don't agree with them.

That's the way it should be. On this, I think we can all agree.

Ditto.  

JB,  Intolerance is not the same as disagreeing with someone's lifestyle or beliefs.   It goes from disagreement to intolerance when someone's lifestyle or beliefs are hatefully derided because they don't line up with your own.

It's not just loving your neighbor, but it's also loving your enemy.  Is that easy?  Heck no! But it's the right thing to do.

I just try to mind my own business without getting into others,  that's hard enough.

  

 

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Proud Texan wrote:

Breakfast Diva wrote:

Eric, I agree with you and frankly, I think all if not most of us do. It's about respect.....from everyone.

JB, I respect your beliefs and admire you for having them so strongly. I also know that when it comes to your business you treat all your guests with respect even if you don't agree with them.

That's the way it should be. On this, I think we can all agree.

Ditto.  

JB,  Intolerance is not the same as disagreeing with someone's lifestyle or beliefs.   It goes from disagreement to intolerance when someone's lifestyle or beliefs are hatefully derided because they don't line up with your own.

It's not just loving your neighbor, but it's also loving your enemy.  Is that easy?  Heck no! But it's the right thing to do.

I just try to mind my own business without getting into others,  that's hard enough.

  

 

That is exactly what I am saying. Allow me my beliefs as I am allowing you yours. Exactly.

Wonder why anyone is suggesting I am not respecting my fellow man because I do not agree with something? That is ridiculous and you all know it.

As for the religious aspect it was not Eric, it was Proud Texan, he used the word "Bible" if you look back at the thread.  

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Joey Bloggs wrote:

Proud Texan wrote:

Breakfast Diva wrote:

Eric, I agree with you and frankly, I think all if not most of us do. It's about respect.....from everyone.

JB, I respect your beliefs and admire you for having them so strongly. I also know that when it comes to your business you treat all your guests with respect even if you don't agree with them.

That's the way it should be. On this, I think we can all agree.

Ditto.  

JB,  Intolerance is not the same as disagreeing with someone's lifestyle or beliefs.   It goes from disagreement to intolerance when someone's lifestyle or beliefs are hatefully derided because they don't line up with your own.

It's not just loving your neighbor, but it's also loving your enemy.  Is that easy?  Heck no! But it's the right thing to do.

I just try to mind my own business without getting into others,  that's hard enough.

  

 

That is exactly what I am saying. Allow me my beliefs as I am allowing you yours. Exactly.

Wonder why anyone is suggesting I am not respecting my fellow man because I do not agree with something? That is ridiculous and you all know it.

As for the religious aspect it was not Eric, it was Proud Texan, he used the word "Bible" if you look back at the thread.  

The word "Bible" was used because, in this neck of the woods,  many people couch their intolerance behind their religion. It is a regional thing I guess. It's very pervasive here.

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Breakfast Diva wrote:

Eric, I agree with you and frankly, I think all if not most of us do. It's about respect.....from everyone.

JB, I respect your beliefs and admire you for having them so strongly. I also know that when it comes to your business you treat all your guests with respect even if you don't agree with them.

That's the way it should be. On this, I think we can all agree.

Sorry, I did not read this as closely as I should have. Very well said. Smiling

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Breakfast Diva wrote:

Eric, I agree with you and frankly, I think all if not most of us do. It's about respect.....from everyone.

JB, I respect your beliefs and admire you for having them so strongly. I also know that when it comes to your business you treat all your guests with respect even if you don't agree with them.

That's the way it should be. On this, I think we can all agree.

yes  Ditto!

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I get constantly reminded not to discussion religion on this board. I am careful not to because of these reminders. But to me, this is a discussion about guest relations, about respect by our border agents and about human rights. I never discussed it religiously. But if I have to bring it back to the bible, then "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." There are no exclusions. As far as I am concerned that was EXACTLY what I was doing. I want my guest treated with the appropriate respect.

(And I'm sorry, but if you want to ban me because someone sees this as a religious discussion then just tell me and I will be GONE. It was NEVER religious to me and I think I was very careful to NEVER make it about religion.)

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(And I'm sorry, but if you want to ban me because someone sees this as a religious discussion then just tell me and I will be GONE. It was NEVER religious to me and I think I was very careful to NEVER make it about religion.)

Eric, no one is banning you nor thought of it as a religious discussion. I do not want to see anyone banned and was not suggesting it. This is now turning into a "knee-jerk". I believe EVERYONE on this Forum treats each other and ALL our guests with respect. Every now and again a comment is made that pricks and an answer is given to that prick in a "soft-spot" in our thick skins. It should be taken as any other (remember typed words have no tone of voice or body language) - stick out your tongue at the comment, flip the bird to the screen, go pout, and then come back to the people who care about innkeepers - those here on the Forum.
.

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There is a French philosopher and I can't remember his name but one of his most famous quotes is "I don't agree with you but I will fight to the death to defend your right to disagree with me" - its not an exact quote but its what I believe - nothing makes me more cross than people who assume I am of the same belief as them (without asking) and then start to try and engage me in lengthy discussions of such make me furious.

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Generic's picture
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camberleyhotelharrogate@yahoo.co.uk wrote:

There is a French philosopher and I can't remember his name but one of his most famous quotes is "I don't agree with you but I will fight to the death to defend your right to disagree with me" - its not an exact quote but its what I believe - nothing makes me more cross than people who assume I am of the same belief as them (without asking) and then start to try and engage me in lengthy discussions of such make me furious.

Actually, wrongly attributed to Voltaire, it was Evelyn Beatrice Hall who said; "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."

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We hold the same beliefs, JB.

To others who may not understand: Just because we hold these beliefs does not mean we are intolerant of others or treat other beliefs with anything other than respect. I will say however, it would be nice if WE were treated with the same tolerance and respect for our beliefs that we are expected to (and do) give others. In today's PC world - the only ones accused of intolerance etc are those not in "lock-step" with PC - no matter how respectful we are to the rights of those who have those different beliefs.

I live in a small city that has more churches than bars and has the largest food pantry in the area. I have yet to see or hear anyone ask what anyone believes, how they live, or even if they go to church before helping - they just do. Small town does not mean small-minded - it is a diverse population with diverse beliefs. Two female Protestant ministers  have officiated at services in the Catholic Church - from the alter!!!

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You are entitled to your views....as long as you treat everyone with respect and respect the views of those who differ with you.  Our country was founded on the idea that an individual's views may be sacred to him/her but he/she does not have the right to force them on others.  Perhaps I live in a different culture than you JB, but our community is based on acceptance and tolerance of all beliefs/life styles.  We all coexist with smiles on our faces!

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Silverspoon wrote:

You are entitled to your views....as long as you treat everyone with respect and respect the views of those who differ with you.  Our country was founded on the idea that an individual's views may be sacred to him/her but he/she does not have the right to force them on others.  Perhaps I live in a different culture than you JB, but our community is based on acceptance and tolerance of all beliefs/life styles.  We all coexist with smiles on our faces!

Then you can accept and tolerate my lifestyle and view points. Right? Respect my beliefs.

JB I respect your beliefs, I don't agree with you, but I respect you.

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Living in the belt buckle of the "Bible Belt",  we encounter a lot of intolerance.    I had to inwardly laugh when talking to a local baker the other day about cakes for our Elopement Package.

I saw an eyebrow raise when I mentioned that we would be doing commitment ceremonies even though they are not considered as a legal union in the state of Texas.   However,  she gave me a price and told me she looked forward to doing business with us.

Her partner/coworker pulled me aside afterward (she, by the way, is a good egg) asked me if I had gotten "preached to" by the aforementioned baker because of my tolerance toward gays.  She was surprised when I said "no".   Apparently,  the almighty dollar wins out over intolerance again!   

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I have to deal with complaints etc. in my other life. Phone calls generally do nothing. "If it is not in writing; it never happened!" The paper trail forces ones hand.

IMHO

BBBBob

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yes

Silverspoon's picture
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It takes some nerve to actually lodge a complaint so you deserve to be congratulated on following through.  It is people like you who will make this a better world...inspite of itself!

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Silverspoon wrote:

It takes some nerve to actually lodge a complaint...

This is Eric, you know. He does not lack for nerve! He is not a beta male.

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Highlands John's picture
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Good.

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Arks's picture
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yes

Really bad officer. Glad you complained, and didn't stop at the first level!

Breakfast Diva's picture
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yes

seashanty's picture
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  good ! 

 

Country Girl's picture
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Good for you!

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