I like this marketing

"at June Lake, nothing happens. Which is the point"

That is a good one.
I ended up adding a 'what we're not' section to the website. Not that anyone will read it, but it made me happy to put it out there. Really, we have to tone down on the 'we do/have everything'. At least I do. We don't do/have everything. I don't want to do/have everything.
I'd like it to be that 'nothing happens and that's the point'!

Last year the river was up so high around the river cottages that you couldn't get into or out of the property for 2 days. We considered putting on the website, "Come to our place and stay...and stay...and stay."