Etiquette

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05/30/2008

OK, please let me blow off some steam. We recently made reservations at a bnb. The acknowledgement said, "Hi Joe Blow" (Not his real name, smile.) Thank you for choosing our bed and breakfast, or something like that. Followed up a day or two later by "Hi Joe! Please take a moment to tell us how you liked your stay and if we can do anything differently."  I told them that as the spouse of the guest, I would like to be acknowledged as well! Am I a non-person? Chattel? But I was more polite. When we were there, they were gracious and friendly, but in light of their email communications, it made it seem superficial.  After we'd left, I emailed them a link to an article of something that was a topic of conversation during our stay. No response to either email.

Even tho it was a nice inn, and they have won awards, I will probably never go back there because of this.

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10/07/2008

All correspondence is to the person who reserved. ie the name on the credit card. Just like every bill I get, every follow up email, every single thing IN THE WORLD here is to one of us or the other, never both unless it is a wedding invite! oh wait, or a letter from the high school... wink

The only thing that is a dual name would be a card for an anniversary in person from me to guests. or thank you card in my own hand.

You see is it MR & MRS? I had a wedding night here who were - wait let me look...I can't find it, but the names were asexual or that may be considered bisexual like CODY being a Female or a Male. There was no way to know if it was a man and woman, a man and man or a woman and a woman. (The answ is it was one of those three scenarios). laugh  I play it safe and don't put that on anything unless I need to, what did I do in this situation? GLAD YOU ASKED! I wrote on the card "CONGRATULATIONS! Welcome LOVE BIRDS!" 

Interesting that you were offended by it, I know you somewhat by now, so somehow the tone of the auto email obv was off putting. Did you find out what system they use (from your online rez)?  

Thanks for sharing this experience, it is always good for us to review and reevaluate how we word things.

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seashanty's picture
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06/02/2008

well ... that is interesting, isn't if?  and i am glad you posted here. and i'm sorry.

this is important

automated follow up to guest visit that offends one of the parties because it is going out only in the name of the person who made the reservation

as well as NO response to 2 emails sent to the b&b. 

it is possible that an email from you with a link went right to the spam folder.  

i would suggest that you try again ... and leave out the link this time.  send it to the email address on the place's website for contact, and not in REPLY to the follow up you received.

  i am curious to know what happens. 

 

i just attended a seminar addressing this very thing ... businesses that don't respond to email.  businesses inundated with phone calls who want to escape all those phone calls but that often leave the public with no other option if they want an answer. 

hmmm

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06/24/2008

seashanty wrote:

it is possible that an email from you with a link went right to the spam folder.  

SS you may have hit the nail on the head.  This last week I was sending a document to a business person who knew it was coming that day.  Three days later I sent another email asking if I needed to provide any other info... he replied, sorry I just got the document it was in my spam folder. 

Kay Nein's picture
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02/13/2012

I have the same response as everyone else - we only get one name on the reservations, so that's the name that is on the emails.  When we sent out Holiday cards last year they were addressed to "The Smith Family" just to be as inclusive as possible. 

Just like Madeleine and BD - I often give guests nicknames since that's the only want we know who we are discussing since I can't remember Jane and Jack and Sam and Martha and Jimmy.  Forget it!

I'm guilty of getting things in the mail from guests and not responding.  I feel badly about it.  My ADD has killed many personal relationships... such is my life.  

(One guests recently sent me a retyped version of one of MY recipes that I gave her.  It was redone in large print.  *scratching my head* )

Madeleine's picture
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09/29/2011

I also know it is bad of me to not know each guest's name. I have no trouble remembering little kid's names but adults all blur together. It's especially true when 3 couples traveling together check in at the same time. Most of the time I don't even know which wife goes with which husband.

There are mornings when 18 people come to breakfast and I couldn't tell you anyone's name, including my own!

One guy, here for a week with a group of friends, is known in the kitchen as 'scrambled eggs, no toast.' I'm sure he has a name his mother loved when she first saw him, but here he's 'scrambled eggs, no toast.'

Two guests who have been coming here for years checked in yesterday. I know them. I know their names. I just do not know which name goes with which guest. The only way I can get this sorted is to read the credit card when one of them hands it over!

So, by the time I get around to sending out thank you's, if I didn't write down each guest's name in the GMS, I have no idea what the other person's name was.

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Breakfast Diva's picture
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05/26/2009

Madeleine wrote:

I also know it is bad of me to not know each guest's name. I have no trouble remembering little kid's names but adults all blur together. It's especially true when 3 couples traveling together check in at the same time. Most of the time I don't even know which wife goes with which husband.

There are mornings when 18 people come to breakfast and I couldn't tell you anyone's name, including my own!

One guy, here for a week with a group of friends, is known in the kitchen as 'scrambled eggs, no toast.' I'm sure he has a name his mother loved when she first saw him, but here he's 'scrambled eggs, no toast.'

Two guests who have been coming here for years checked in yesterday. I know them. I know their names. I just do not know which name goes with which guest. The only way I can get this sorted is to read the credit card when one of them hands it over!

So, by the time I get around to sending out thank you's, if I didn't write down each guest's name in the GMS, I have no idea what the other person's name was.

I'm glad to know I'm not alone! I do the same thing and I have only 4 rooms. Had a guest call yesterday who was here in April and I had to pretend I really remembered him. I had no clue until I looked him up on our system. Then I remembered, but I still wouldn't be able to tell you what he looked like. Most of the time when DH and I are talking about a guest during their stay, we just say "the Rose Garden guy".

Madeleine's picture
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09/29/2011

I do not always HAVE the name of the 'other' guest. 95% of males who fill out an online form NEVER give me the name of the person with them even tho it is asked for in TWO separate places. And many times the email address is a work address so I am not going to address it to 'Joe & Mary' at Joe's work email. So, that said, even when the WIFE makes the reservation, if she chooses to give me her husband's name and her email address, HE is the one who is addressed in all email communications.

So, I guess I'm guilty of treating the 'other' person badly. But, it's equal opportunity. If the woman fails to mention the man's name when she fills out the form, SHE gets all the attention.

I don't always notice at check-in either that I don't have both names. When I do I have to ask the other person for their name and I never know how that is going to go over.

 

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05/30/2008

My guest management software would only automatically capture the primary guest name for confirmations, email follow-ups, etc.  I would have to go in and manually add any additional guests' names.  Sometimes there were just not enough hours in a day to do this and juggle every thing else, too. 

Some days it seemed like just getting the emails out at all was a lot to do....

So, be kind and don't judge...this could be you one day!

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06/24/2008

My system is the same as Arkie's and most people do not provide the names of the other guests in their party.  Heck most don't add the names of the others when they check in either, but if we catch it at the time we will ask them to add the others first names at least. 

I have never given it a thought regarding the 'thank you' email but since you bring this up I will not make an extreme effort to add the other names to my system so it is addressed to all. 

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10/07/2008

copperhead wrote:

My system is the same as Arkie's and most people do not provide the names of the other guests in their party.  Heck most don't add the names of the others when they check in either, but if we catch it at the time we will ask them to add the others first names at least. 

I have never given it a thought regarding the 'thank you' email but since you bring this up I will not make an extreme effort to add the other names to my system so it is addressed to all. 

Sometimes they put the same name in twice.

Is this a reservation error? Do they NOT wish to share the other person's name? IS THERE another person?

I know you all have had this happen as well. Is ASHLEY a female? Not around here he aint. So we can only do what we do. laugh

Breakfast Diva's picture
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05/26/2009

Interesting. My system is set up to address the primary name on the reservation. The secondary name is not mentioned in correspondences. 99% of the time the first name will be the person who made the reservation, their credit card number and their e-mail address. Most couples don't share 1 e-mail address, so I would not have thought that the second guest would be offended.

I don't send out follow-up e-mails, but if I did I would have the system add both their names to it.

This sounds like a good poll question!

Arks's picture
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05/22/2010

I can only speak for my own setup. Both e-mails you mentioned are automatic from my reservation system, and if they only give one name when they make the reservation, all correspondence goes to that one first name. If they list two names, e-mails are addressed as "Dear Joe and Jane,".

I agree, it would have been nice for someone to take note of the link you sent, but keep in mind how many e-mails get eaten by computer robots, mislabeled as spam. So they may never have seen it, or won't see it until they get around to checking their spam box.

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05/30/2008

My reply is semi-automatic. It automatically fills in the full name of the guest who reserves it, but I can amend it to delete the last name and manually add the name of the second person. I can also vary the main text.

gillumhouse's picture
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05/22/2008

Yes, I can manually do all that you can - but do I? not usually. It grabs the first name and although I try  to ad a personal comment, I do not always. I have a life with the City and the other things I am involved in.

For example, tonight I have an innkeeper coming in with her DH & granddaughter, Tomorrow is West Virginia's birthday and there are doings going on all over the State. I have been asked to come out to the I-68 Welcome Center (I have had to beg ogf the last few times due to commitments) so i will fix breakfast (after getting up at 5 to make coffee for my long-terms) and make the 90 minute drive to Maryland so I can turn around to access the Welcome Center. Then my City is having an Ice Cream Social to celebrate that will last until 6 PM. I will miss the talk about the first Governor of our State at the log house because I am taped to be a sub at bocce at 6:30. I guarantee you I will not get that thank you personalized.

Quite often they do not enter the name of the other person - and one is never sure if married or not as often they have different last names even if they are. Too many lines to walk to be PC.

As for lack of acknowledging your e-mail, they could easily have been about to send  thank you and gotten distracted with a call or something and forgot they did not acknowledge because they were in the process of therefore must have done it.

Madeleine's picture
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09/29/2011

gillumhouse wrote:

As for lack of acknowledging your e-mail, they could easily have been about to send  thank you and gotten distracted with a call or something and forgot they did not acknowledge because they were in the process of therefore must have done it.

I don't always respond back because I don't know if the guest wants this 'thank you!' 'NO, thank YOU!' thing going on forever!

gillumhouse's picture
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05/22/2008

That is also a consideration.

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