Are you home?

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Breakfast Diva's picture
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“Where you come from now is much less important than where you’re going… And home, we know, is not just the place where you happen to be born. It’s the place where you become yourself.” - Pico Iyer

I'm wondering if your b&b is more than just where you live...is it "home"?

 

nateCkimball's picture
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I love being in my house.. I call it my home. It is where I feel safe and comfortable.

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TheBeachHouse's picture
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nateCkimball wrote:

I love being in my house.. I call it my home. It is where I feel safe and comfortable.

 

I feel the same way.  welcome to the forum!   Are you an innkeeper?

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gillumhouse's picture
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The Standards of Common Courtesy are that one introduces themselves when meeting new people.

When attending a function, I try to sit with people I do not know so I can "give the commercial". We would be interested in hearing yours.

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Who are you? When someone new comes here, we usually like for them to introduce themselves, otherwise you can be marked as spammer.

Country Girl's picture
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This is our "home" although lately it feels like everyone else's home and just my workplace. That will change in the next couple days when things slow down. I still wake up every single day  grateful to live here and happy to have a place for my family to come home to.

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“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou

 

Silverspoon's picture
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We knew this place was HOME in the first 10 minutes we saw it.  The B+B evolved naturally from this home and has added a wonderful dimension to our lives for 25 years.  Sharing the house with guests has been an uplifting experience for the most part, but we are ready and anxious to have the place to ourselves for more of the time.  We are fortunate to have arranged the space so that we can easily close off the two guest suites and common area while still having a whole house to live in as "owner's quarters".  While our friends are trying to figure out what the next stage of their lives will bring, where to move to make a retirement home, how to manage to find a welcoming place to call home, we are pleased to say that we have set down roots with the full intention of being brought out of this place in pine boxes...feet first! laugh

At the moment we have innkeepers from the big state north of us staying as guests in the cottage.  We invited them over for a glass of wine last night before dinner and they were lamenting their own lack or owner-space at their 12 room inn.  They are trying to sell the place after over 20 years of hard work but prospective buyers are leery of making the cramped owner's quarters feel like HOME. So my advice to any prospective innkeepers who might be luring here is to make sure you do not buy something that will limit your own space to the point where your house becomes just your business, rather than your HOME.  It makes good business sense for resale, and for your own sanity, to ensure that the owner's quarters have sufficient light, space and quality.

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gillumhouse's picture
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I totally agree with that. My plan was for us to have a living room, bedroom, and bathroom with the sun room to be DH workshop to keep him happy. That worked until he got back to being involved in art and the living room became his studio and even after he no longer used the workshop for building rifles and projects, refused to clear out the things that would allow me to move my office in there - freeing up my Library to be guest area. I finally came to the realization that any house DH occupies is HIS house and everyone else exists there. This is my home though. For me, HOME is not the building I live in, it is my town.

The next owners will have a nice area - 2 rooms and sun room (was enclosed porch but does have heat vent in it) and bathroom. It would be a comfortable space if DH did not have so much STUFF!

Madeleine's picture
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We looked at places where we decided to take guest space to be our own if we bought the place. Giving us an additional bedroom/bathroom/living room along with a buffer zone.

But all of those places with one room for the owners? Not gonna happen.

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TheBeachHouse's picture
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Madeleine wrote:

We looked at places where we decided to take guest space to be our own if we bought the place. Giving us an additional bedroom/bathroom/living room along with a buffer zone.

But all of those places with one room for the owners? Not gonna happen.

 

couldn't agree more.  we use what used to be a guest apartment with kitchenette, library and bedroom as our wet bar, TV room and extra bedroom.  Couldn't live without the space.

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Yes, it is home.  Took years to feel that way with lots of renovation just to open and then years to make it feel like part of us. 
Once we decide to stop being innkeepers, we have decided we will stay close to this area.  We have become as much a part of this area as it has become part of us.  We have thought about this at length, visited places we fell in love with and would love to visit again but it is always nice to 'go home'. 

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YOU PEOPLE gave me a nightmare last night...

In a nutshell "You better watch out what you wish for..."

We ended up living in a one bedroom apartment in NYC and our dog was not happy. It was loud, congested, crazy. Taking her all the way down the elevator to go outside 5 times a day was insane!

Then I discovered a secret hatch to the roof where there was a dog park and a track. There were tables and people playing cards and laughing. I was very leery not being from "The City" and for some reason we all got on like a house on fire, and we became fast friends. Closer than family.  I had the best place to live in my entire life and loved every day thereafter...the end.

          Credits: Thanks to Maddie's Mom's Bronx Apartment story. To a man who called our dog "a city dawg". To Breakfast Nemo for starting the thread and getting me thinking about
this is not my home and I want the REAL home soon... and DH for saying how we can live and work anywhere (esp Sydney who is crying out for his I.T. expertise right now) if we did not have this business...

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gillumhouse's picture
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Funny. This made me think of what I said to a neighbor in Illinois when we found how great we hit it off. I told her I would ALWAYS ask, "Are you home?" because just because you are in your house does NOT mean you are HOME. And there were times she said, no I am not home and vice versa.

Referring to my current domicile - yes, I am home. The house told me that the minute I walked in the door. It and this city were waiting for me. Even after I give up this house so the city can still have a B & B, I plan to die here because I am HOME. Even DH, who never lived anywhere other than Illinois before moving here, considers this HOME. Although this will never be a place my kids will live (or want to), I think they look at coming here as coming home (as kids going "home" to see the parents) because they have all developed a feeling for here.

Joey Camb's picture
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its kind of weird but the basement is our home - once im out the door its business - makes no sense at all!

Im at home here, house has good mojo

Thought you meant something like this which happened to me today "phone rings while I am out having a coffee with my mum, 3 arrivals but none due before 6pm)

We are here to check in, we have rung the door bell twice but no one has come, "are you sure you are booked with us what does it say on your reservation the Kimberley by any chance?" oh yes are we not in the right place? nope - that is why the address and name are different, its round the corner - up the street 300 yards and an 80 bedroom hotel - goodbye.

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Breakfast Diva's picture
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It seems that I've spent my whole adult life without a "home". I'd bought a townhouse, then a house, but it was always a place that I knew was temporary..."I'll live here until... Then came the b&b and it's always been my business and house, but not my "home".

4 years ago we bought our "home".  It's such a different feeling. I can't live there yet, but I can visit in the slow season.

When I saw the quote above this morning, I just wondered how many of us have that need of a real home. Sorry, I'm just a bit pensive today!

Madeleine's picture
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Breakfast Nemo wrote:

When I saw the quote above this morning, I just wondered how many of us have that need of a real home. Sorry, I'm just a bit pensive today!

My mother has lived in her 'house' since 1969. She STILL pines for her apt in the city.

 

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Breakfast Nemo wrote:

It seems that I've spent my whole adult life without a "home". I'd bought a townhouse, then a house, but it was always a place that I knew was temporary..."I'll live here until... Then came the b&b and it's always been my business and house, but not my "home".

4 years ago we bought our "home".  It's such a different feeling. I can't live there yet, but I can visit in the slow season.

When I saw the quote above this morning, I just wondered how many of us have that need of a real home. Sorry, I'm just a bit pensive today!

I went to where we built our home on acreage, where we had our family and so on...I was concerned I would drive up and feel this lump in my throat.  When we drove away to fly east over 10 years ago...I cried. If I could have taken the place with us...The flowers we planted, the colros we chose, the porch swing (was still there) etc. 

And now, it is just a house. I was so happy to find it this way when I was there. I saw the huckleberry bushes I relocated near the gate at the top of the drive, I pocked one and ate it, the old trees that had gotten bigger over 10 years...but felt no regrets. I am happy where we are.  But we look forward to having strangers out of our midst one day...

So for now, we paint for the guests, we plant for the guests, we do not do anything long term, so that is the big difference. But this IS OUR HOME. 100%. That is why someone will lose a leg if they try to step in OUR quarters. I gave up feeling like the 'caretaker' here a few years ago however, and now claim every inch as our home. I know that seems half dozen of one 6 of another, but it makes sense to me.

Breakfast Diva's picture
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"I know that seems half dozen of one 6 of another, but it makes sense to me."

Makes total sense to me too! It's a feeling, and one either has it or not, about where they are living. I'm so glad you were able to go back to the old house so you could let go of wondering if it still had a hold on you.

Innkeep's picture
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Yep, this place is home.  Our family moved here in 1960...

I thought I had escaped, but there is a "black hole" effect that keeps pulling me back.  Left in 1967 to go to college, bought it from my parents in 2005.

Funny thing is that I have just recently started thinking of it as home again.

Madeleine's picture
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Because we are still in the process of transforming this 80's style monstrosity, it's not home, it's just where I live.

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That is a nasty question to ask at the end of October! haha

Let's just say I have had to hide the matches... cool

Breakfast Diva's picture
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Joey Bloggs wrote:

That is a nasty question to ask at the end of October! haha

Let's just say I have had to hide the matches... cool

Oops, I forget that October is busy season for a lot of you! I've been in slow mode for a couple of weeks now. I have found my Zen...then in a couple weeks I'll go into my panic mode because we're so slow!

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Breakfast Nemo wrote:

Joey Bloggs wrote:

That is a nasty question to ask at the end of October! haha

Let's just say I have had to hide the matches... cool

Oops, I forget that October is busy season for a lot of you! I've been in slow mode for a couple of weeks now. I have found my Zen...then in a couple weeks I'll go into my panic mode because we're so slow!

Oh yeah the old "where are they?" mode. I hear ya.

I just had feedback review which rubbed me the wrong way. For all of those who think they bought the rights to the owners of the inn when they book a room for $120 I have news for you. It it really astounds me. "I don't wanna hold your hanndddddddddddd..." I barely see my family right now. 

TheBeachHouse's picture
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I love being in my new house.  Love it.   I can't wait for the end of the work day so I can be home and 'hug my house.'   I think we have finally found our 'home.'

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