No! You Do Not Owe Me!

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gillumhouse's picture
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05/22/2008

For the second time in a week I have had people in town wanting to pay me! The farmer who stables the horses tried to pay me for putting up the preacher and his wife that they were interviewing for his Church a few months ago (he thought he hadn' paid me) and I told him I had told the lady that made the reservation when she asked if I would accept a check from the Church that I could not because there was no charge.

Today I had 2 members of the same family wanting to pay me for taking in their nephew and his daughter who are VERY allergic to cats (there are cats living with the aunt & uncle). They buried the nephew's Mother today and there was no way they could get to Pittsburgh to the airport after the funeral (there was too much snow and ice for them to even go to the cemetery. They live in Florida and the daughter who is 14 had never seen snow! She has now! This family is "OLD Shin ns ton", I know they could easily afford it, but I know they would help me if I needed it. Sometimes the money does not count.

gillumhouse's picture
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05/22/2008

Update - while I was out today the local couple stopped by and dropped off a thank you note - with a $50 gift certificate to Jimmy's. And this week an extremely well-loved teacher died. I got a call today from her dear friend who "IF she can get a flight in" wanted to see if I had a room. There is no way anyone could get up the driveway of the deceased to stay at her house which is where she normally would. This one has been given a DEEP discount but will not be free. SHE is thrilled with the price I gave her as I told her the normal rate, the normal funeral rate, and what SHE is going to be charged because of who she is coming for. And I will put up the cot for the teacher's son to stay with them while they are here as she and the financial adviser struggle with what will now happen with the son (he must be in his 40s or 50's by now).

Joey Camb's picture
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04/02/2010

Think I would do a very good price ie cover costs or the money goes to charity or equivalent thing

Its like this we have a local café which is excellent just round the corner - we send them every referral we can as it is both excellent, a bargain and really nice people, she started trying to give me free coffee when I popped in for a chat or whatever

I said "no I have to pay and this is why - where do you draw the line? 10 free coffee's? and in 2 years time you won't resent me still having and expecting free coffee? If I pay every time I know I'm right with you - she does sometimes send free cake with my mum though!

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gillumhouse's picture
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05/22/2008

No, that is not the case here. I told the farmer I do this for churches so it is cool (plus we have had some jerks that reserved stables and then drove through so I am the one owing HIM). The family today we have known since we came here and they would never feel beholden. I told them Sunday - before the funeral that I had 3 rooms available for the family rate (and said the rate was thank you when I made the offer) and that was before the snow kept these folks in town. No insult was taken (they were in the know about the family of singers with the 9 kids).  I know the folks that I would have said $10 would cover it so I would not insult.

They just got back from going to dinner (they were picked up by the local family members). The restaurant was closed because of the snow - the owner opened up and cooked dinner for the family (and he is NOT a relative).

birdwatcher's picture
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02/22/2009

Maybe if you do something so nice for the church or some group in town, you can tell them to give it to the group that they belong to...this way they feel that they at least "paid" for something....just a thought.

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06/24/2008

birdwatcher wrote:

Maybe if you do something so nice for the church or some group in town, you can tell them to give it to the group that they belong to...this way they feel that they at least "paid" for something....just a thought.

Or take the money and then make 50% donation to the church in THEIR name. 

K, we all know your heart is in the right place.  You are being a good servant and you feel paid through the warmness in your heart and hopefully theirs. 

Arks's picture
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05/22/2010

A few times I've found myself in the position of not going into a business I like because I know they won't let me pay them (friends) and I don't want to take advantage of them.

If they'd let me pay them, I could continue to go there. If they won't, I'll have to go somewhere else where I can pay, and not feel guilty.

Sounds strange. It is strange. But that's how it is.

That being said, what you've done for them is very nice!

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All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep hotel. ~ Mark Twain

 

Breakfast Diva's picture
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05/26/2009

I think Maddie has a good point. A lot of people feel uncomfortable with not paying. They don't want to feel like they are taking advantage of you. A better approach might be giving them a discount. I think a 50% discount for these cases would make them feel like they're not taking advantage of you and at least it would cover your expenses of having them there.

Madeleine's picture
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09/29/2011

I read the title as 'you don't own me.'

Personally, I think you're insulting these good people by turning down their money. Almost like playing 'lady of the manor' where you don't need their piddley little offerings.

Take the money. It's their way of NOT owing you. The slate is clean. They go about their lives without the sword of being beholden hanging over their heads.

My father is one of these people. He would feel this hanging over him wondering when the payment was going to be called in.

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