How Many Times Can You Irritate Me In The First Five Minutes?

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Front door not even shut after welcoming them in (it's the female that's speaking...over him, over me...)

Her:  "So how long has this home been in your family?" 

Me:  "This is not a family home.  I purchased this while on vacation here ten years ago."

Her: "Oh, you are single? Not married? You live alone?"

Me: "I do this myself."

Her: "Oh, Bless Your Heart! (arghhhhhhh...ready to throttle this hag!)...well, is this all you do?  Just rent out rooms in your home?  This is what you do for a living?"

 

I seriously stopped answering her. I've never done that before. In ten years, I have never ignored a guest, regardless how intrusive the questions were. I simply stopped answering her and started giving my spiel. She tried to interrupt several times, and I just kept on ignoring her. I am tired of internalizing the aggravation I feel at people that are so freaking stupid and clueless about any world outside of their own.  Especially when they put on a fake face and try to appear inquisitive instead of just degrading, rude and nosy.

I will not let this ruin my day. I will not. I will not. I will have a drink in a bit.  I will.  I will.

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How about the last 5 minutes? The 5 minutes where I'm patiently waiting for you to gather everything up and head out to the car and I hear the coffee machine kick on and you sitting down at the table and talking on your phone and then ringing the bell to ask for directions and your other half is nowhere to be seen?

And it's now 11:30 and your spouse is still not around.

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actually, I like it when they ask how long we've owned the place.  I like to say less than a year.   It gives us a lot of 'forgiveness points' for if something isn't right.  Or a boost of 'good job' points if everything is good.  

I'm quickly running out of time to use that one.   August 28 is our anniversary.  

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Example of those guests who went to one of the funkiest little places ever and came to the breakfast table and bad mouthed it. The same week a very famous band, back together, played down the road (yes 3 blocks walk) and from the stage mentioned this "funkiest little place" and said they would go there every day if they lived here! How great and how fun it is!

I looked at DH and said "See!" Some people have no sense of humor, so fun and funky are lost on them. Some people just don't care.

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So true JB.  What one person sees as fun, good, lovely another finds it the total opposite. 

We have a funky museum near here with an owner just as funky, it and he gets a lot of national publicity.  We were there this past week shooting the breeze and he was talking about this national magazine.  Years ago the regional columnist came to see his place, she hated it and after she left dumped the article she had planned to do.   At the time he was very depressed over the lack of the great publicity.  Several years later some other person had that position and had gone through the files of the previous columnist and ran across this funky museum's photos etc.   Loved what she saw and boom a great article followed. 

Beauty (or what ever) is definitely in the eyes of the beholder.   

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And isn't that why we all dread the questions about where to go to eat and what to do?

I always ask what someone likes to eat or do but I can't control your experience when you go eat there or visit the attraction.

We've sent a lot of guests out on a funky boat trip and all have loved it but I'm waiting for the day someone just isn't into it or its a bit bumpy or whatever.

It's happened a ton of times with someone saying their dinner was inedible or the service was awful or they waited forever for a table.

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I dread when they ask me for food using one particular adjective (a language). Because around here, it's like asking for any restaurant. It describes at least 9 different types of restaurants, from local to foreign and from cheap to expensive and from new to old. It's almost as bad as just saying "Can you direct us to a restaurant that has seats." 

That is what drives me crazy. Don't give me enough to go on. I have maybe 100 restaurants in a quarter mile of my place. When you look at Google Maps of my place and type in restaurant, all the red dots make the map look like a Scottish girl with freckles! It's not like I have to tell them the different between A's Pizza, Pizza Express and Fox's Pizza Den.

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Have you been to my City? You named the big 3 Pizza places. Jimmy's does pizza too but is known for his Rosi.

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The power of Google Maps Smiling

But in the same Google Maps view with the same magnification, you have 7 or so restaurants and I have maybe 100. So when someone asks me for a place to eat with no guidelines... I don't even know where to start.

 

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Madeleine wrote:

And isn't that why we all dread the questions about where to go to eat and what to do?

I always ask what someone likes to eat or do but I can't control your experience when you go eat there or visit the attraction.

We've sent a lot of guests out on a funky boat trip and all have loved it but I'm waiting for the day someone just isn't into it or its a bit bumpy or whatever.

It's happened a ton of times with someone saying their dinner was inedible or the service was awful or they waited forever for a table.

 

We are super descriptive.   "tourist food", "good but not exceptional food but good view" and "excellent but pricey."   We pretty much stick to those three.

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The ones that bug me are those that can't tell time.   They say they will arrive early and don't.  Or they know breakfast is 8 - 10 so they stroll down at 10:30 wondering where the food is.  

But the worst time issue is late checkout.  We only have a small window in which to fix up the room before we have new guests.  It is not convenient to wait for you an hour or more. 

We are learning to be more strict on timing.

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I have a spiel that works (on the weekends when I do a full breakfast).  When there is a lull in the table conversation, I say "I always try to be available to say goodbye for checkout time at 11:00, but if you can't find me, you can leave the keys in the room."  This was difficult and awkward for me the first couple times I said it - I felt I was blowing people off - but as with anything, it gets easier with practice.  Otherwise, I was finding myself on the constant listen and look out for people leaving, and the breakfast dishes just sat and sat because I couldn't get to them.  Now I continue on with what I need to do, and they have been told that checkout is 11:00.  There is no reason for them to be late getting out, unless they are just rude.  That's when the knock on the door at 11:15 usually does the trick (but I still really hate doing that!)

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BananaE29 wrote:

I say "I always try to be available to say goodbye for checkout time at 11:00, but if you can't find me, you can leave the keys in the room."  This was difficult and awkward for me the first couple times I said it...

I guarantee you, there are many who don't want to go through the social goodbyes and are very happy to leave the key in the room and be on their way! Your announcement does them a favor.

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Arks wrote:

I guarantee you, there are many who don't want to go through the social goodbyes and are very happy to leave the key in the room and be on their way! Your announcement does them a favor.

And I guarantee you that you are RIGHT!  The majority don't need us nearly as much as we think they do. Not ALL, but the majority...

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BananaE29 wrote:

Arks wrote:

I guarantee you, there are many who don't want to go through the social goodbyes and are very happy to leave the key in the room and be on their way! Your announcement does them a favor.

And I guarantee you that you are RIGHT!  The majority don't need us nearly as much as we think they do. Not ALL, but the majority...

Hear hear!

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Things that bug me:

a) not showing up for breakfast when you are the only guests, and/or

b) walking into the B&B and acting like you reserve the right to ask any personal question you want. If you were an "employee" would they be asking this?

Being for sale you may feel more obliged to answer these questions not knowing if they are secretly looking. Don't feel obliged, if they are doing that then shame on them, double shame.

"No one rents a room at this inn and rents the innkeeper!" as much as the TA reviews talk all about the innkeeper etc, don't fall for that rubbish. They rent a room, NOT YOU. 

 

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Joey Bloggs wrote:

Being for sale you may feel more obliged to answer these questions not knowing if they are secretly looking. Don't feel obliged, if they are doing that then shame on them, double shame

I never thought of that. I should think people would be right up front if that's why they're digging around. But that's why I'm usually disappointed - I expect people to act as I would. 

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BananaE29 wrote:

Joey Bloggs wrote:

Being for sale you may feel more obliged to answer these questions not knowing if they are secretly looking. Don't feel obliged, if they are doing that then shame on them, double shame

I never thought of that. I should think people would be right up front if that's why they're digging around. But that's why I'm usually disappointed - I expect people to act as I would. 

Some friends have their in for sale nearby. She found a guest taking photos of the garage and the back of the house where most guests don't go. She confronted the person and was told she was looking to buy the place but wanted to see how it ran first.

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Madeleine wrote:

BananaE29 wrote:

Joey Bloggs wrote:

Being for sale you may feel more obliged to answer these questions not knowing if they are secretly looking. Don't feel obliged, if they are doing that then shame on them, double shame

I never thought of that. I should think people would be right up front if that's why they're digging around. But that's why I'm usually disappointed - I expect people to act as I would. 

Some friends have their in for sale nearby. She found a guest taking photos of the garage and the back of the house where most guests don't go. She confronted the person and was told she was looking to buy the place but wanted to see how it ran first.

I hope your friend told her it would not be run this way if YOU (the woman) were the innkeeper. What people fail to see is that when they are the innkeepers the inn will be run the way THEY run it. While it is your inn, it runs your way.

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Madeleine wrote:

She confronted the person and was told she was looking to buy the place but wanted to see how it ran first.

And again...I would never think of doing this. It's sneaky and underhanded. I can give a little and say that it might be smart...but it's still sneaky and unnecessary. 

 

 

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BananaE29 wrote:

Joey Bloggs wrote:

Being for sale you may feel more obliged to answer these questions not knowing if they are secretly looking. Don't feel obliged, if they are doing that then shame on them, double shame

I never thought of that. I should think people would be right up front if that's why they're digging around. But that's why I'm usually disappointed - I expect people to act as I would. 

That is the one thing I tell myself all the time.

No one sees through my eyes, everyone has a different POV, we always think people can be level headed and see things straight, but they don't, some can't!

Unfortunately, the one big mistake every person makes is to assume the worse intentions on behalf of any other person who comments or does something. I had this recently with a person who never stops talking to listen. They have no clue what anyone else's perspective of reasoning is, they never listen, ever.  And to be honest, they never will!

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This is the point at which I would have said "Excuse me?" With a look that should have immediately clued them in that they are being rude and intrusive. It's just really RUDE. Locals would rather talk about who they slept with than about marital status!

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As the roadtrip crew can tell you, I'm not a hugger, but for wisely deciding to proceed with your spiel, and pressing on with it in the face of interruptions, here you go!

 

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Thank you Arks!  I feel better.  Now if she would stop calling my name every time she comes down the stairs, like I'm just waiting underneath them to personally serve her.  Sigh...thank goodness it's one night only.

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That annoys me... Calling thru the house for me. Ring the bell! I hear them opening doors with "private" on them and yelling for us.

Yell away. Like Pavlov's dogs I only answer to the ringing bell.

Annoying in the first five minutes

  • Interrupting when I'm trying to explain. My line is:  All will be revealed (use the spooky voice)
  • Challenging our way of doing business (collecting the payment on arrival - hey pal it's in your confirmation)
  • Complaining about the stairs (I'm very clear about stairs - do you hear that guests who have never seen a 2- storey building)
  • Walking right into my kitchen
  • Handing me a bag of trash from the car
  • Walking away as I'm explaining where to find things and then yelling for me later on because they can't find it

Like you, after 10 years we've heard every variation of intrusive question. I figure in this year 10 my response should be either, "are you looking to buy?" Or, "does your job pay the bills?"

Ann landers says you should look them in the eye and ask them why they want to know.

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I've read that advice from Ann Landers also, and I've tried it, but it still feels awkward and rude.  I haven't got that sweet, fake-y Southern thing going that this woman does.  She would beat me every time at that game. 

Yes, I've made myself scarce and unavailable to her in person.  I knew she would call when she finally remembered that's what she was supposed to do if she needed me.  I have no problem being available for questions, but it doesn't have to be in person all the time. No one needs to know what door I'm behind, for crying out loud. It's just not necessary!

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You have to bring to the game what you're best at. With annoying people I'm best at rude NY'er.

If you can't out saccharine, then pretend you're from Jersey (the state, not the island) and just be rude.

Is amazing how many people toe the line if they think you know Tony soprano.

It's also amazing how many people toe the line if they think there's a guy in the back room. Pitiful but there it is.

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Madeleine wrote:

Is amazing how many people toe the line if they think you know Tony soprano.

That made me laugh out loud.  Hilarious.

 

Madeleine wrote:

It's also amazing how many people toe the line if they think there's a guy in the back room. Pitiful but there it is.

 

And this is very true.  Irritating and ridiculous, but true.  I once had a young couple smoke pot in their room.  I didn't smell it until they left for the day and I went up to clean the room.  I was irate!  I called them and told them they had a choice  - they could choose to leave on their own, without a refund for the remaining night...OR I could talk to my police officer husband about the little "issue" in their room and let him decide how to handle it.   They fell all over themselves with apologies and were back to get their belongings and out of the house within an hour of the phone call. 

I have also asked people to please be careful with slamming the front door (it's 125 years old with beveled glass, for crying out loud! Get a clue!) because my husband works nights at the jail and it jars him awake every time. 

Whatever works.  It pi$$es me off that if there's a hint of a man here, people behave differently, but it is what it is.

 

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And that's why DH at 6'6" greets guests and checks them in.  Although he has a gentle giant personality, his sheer size keeps most people in line.  I know we have real PITAs when he comes back from the greeting and tells me HE will be the ones to handle them...I should kind of stay out of the way.  

What he really means is that the strict, teacher in me should not get riled.  Once someone pushes my buttons I have no hesitation at taking off the gloves.   We get a LOT of NY  and NJ folks here who only understand in-your-face.  

 

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BananaE29 wrote:

And this is very true.  Irritating and ridiculous, but true.  I once had a young couple smoke pot in their room.  I didn't smell it until they left for the day and I went up to clean the room.  I was irate!  I called them and told them they had a choice  - they could choose to leave on their own, without a refund for the remaining night...OR I could talk to my police officer husband about the little "issue" in their room and let him decide how to handle it.   They fell all over themselves with apologies and were back to get their belongings and out of the house within an hour of the phone call. 

I have also asked people to please be careful with slamming the front door (it's 125 years old with beveled glass, for crying out loud! Get a clue!) because my husband works nights at the jail and it jars him awake every time. 

Whatever works.  It pi$$es me off that if there's a hint of a man here, people behave differently, but it is what it is.
[/quote]

And a man with a badge at that!  lol  wink

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I left a law enforcement dispatching job to do this.  The words just seem to flow very easily from my mouth Smiling 

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yes

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BananaE29 wrote:

Thank you Arks!  I feel better.  Now if she would stop calling my name every time she comes down the stairs, like I'm just waiting underneath them to personally serve her.  Sigh...thank goodness it's one night only.

Lock your quarters and go out to dinner! Make yourself scarce if you can. Let her harange her husband instead of you. PITA

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Breakfast Diva wrote:

BananaE29 wrote:

Thank you Arks!  I feel better.  Now if she would stop calling my name every time she comes down the stairs, like I'm just waiting underneath them to personally serve her.  Sigh...thank goodness it's one night only.

Lock your quarters and go out to dinner! Make yourself scarce if you can. Let her harange her husband instead of you. PITA

 

This one bears repeating.   Just leave.   After everyone is checked in, you are 'off duty.'

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Wow, Banana!! Arks gave a hug without being forced to be polite! You should feel honored!

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angry

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