Aspiring Martha
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2013
- Messages
- 143
- Reaction score
- 0
<ahem> My name is Martha and I...(hangs her head in shame) cannot make a pastry pie crust.
Oh the chagrin - a lifetime of not living up to my "Martha". It's not that I haven't tried -- starting around age 23, I would attempt a pastry crust each Thanksgiving only to 1) not be able to get it into the pan in less that 100 pieces or 2) having it "chew" like a piece of cardboard, or 3) have it melt into a sad, droopy, shrunken thing that didn't resemble a pie crust at all. I still have nightmares of throwing away a baked pie crust that I (somehow) knew wasn't "right" - only to have it plunk into the bottom of the trash can -- and not even break! To make matters even worse, over the years I would confide to my mom, (and my aunt and my grandmother, and my sister) of my inadequacy, only to have them say, "why Martha Ann - why CAN'T you make a pie crust -- there is nothing easier!"
On the bright side -- I CAN make a mean graham cracker crust as, come Christmas and still humiliated from my Thanksgiving flops, graham cracker crust was all my hurt pride would allow.
Knowing that the ability to make a tender, flaky, perfectly-baked pie crust in pretty much expected of any innkeeper worth her salt -- I set out on a mission to slay my inner pie crust demon. I intently watched multiple youtube demonstrations yesterday leaving me with more questions than answers. Do I roll it out on wax paper or roll it out on a floured surface? Vinegar or no vinegar? Butter or oil? A cup and a half of flour or a cup and 2 tablespoons? Food processor or stand mixer or fork? Oh my!
I got up this morning with dogged determination. I put my flour in the fridge last night (don't judge me - desperate times call for desperate measures). I diced my (cold) butter and put it back into the refrigerator until the moment of mixing. I didn't take the ice cubes out of water until the split second I was ready to dump it into the bowl. Rolled it out on my floured island - rolling only in the up and down motion (not side to side), flipping the dough (to keep it from sticking) each time it needed to be repositioned to keep the up and down motion going on. And (drum roll) I picked it right up and plopped it right into the pie plate with nary a tear, fluted it, pricked it, and back in the fridge to chill again. Gave it an hour and popped it in the oven -- bottom rack. Halfway through, I pricked the parts that were bubbling up. (Who knew you could do that?)
The result? Pretty good in comparison to my previous failures. (Now don't ya'll go comparing this to your perfect pie crusts. I'm still fragile.) It does have a little slippage going on -- but all in all -- not too bad. My granddaughter is coming over this afternoon, so I think I'll make a chocolate pie. (If the crust is tough - the chocolate will make up for it.) I'll update.
May I have a round of applause?
Oh the chagrin - a lifetime of not living up to my "Martha". It's not that I haven't tried -- starting around age 23, I would attempt a pastry crust each Thanksgiving only to 1) not be able to get it into the pan in less that 100 pieces or 2) having it "chew" like a piece of cardboard, or 3) have it melt into a sad, droopy, shrunken thing that didn't resemble a pie crust at all. I still have nightmares of throwing away a baked pie crust that I (somehow) knew wasn't "right" - only to have it plunk into the bottom of the trash can -- and not even break! To make matters even worse, over the years I would confide to my mom, (and my aunt and my grandmother, and my sister) of my inadequacy, only to have them say, "why Martha Ann - why CAN'T you make a pie crust -- there is nothing easier!"
On the bright side -- I CAN make a mean graham cracker crust as, come Christmas and still humiliated from my Thanksgiving flops, graham cracker crust was all my hurt pride would allow.
Knowing that the ability to make a tender, flaky, perfectly-baked pie crust in pretty much expected of any innkeeper worth her salt -- I set out on a mission to slay my inner pie crust demon. I intently watched multiple youtube demonstrations yesterday leaving me with more questions than answers. Do I roll it out on wax paper or roll it out on a floured surface? Vinegar or no vinegar? Butter or oil? A cup and a half of flour or a cup and 2 tablespoons? Food processor or stand mixer or fork? Oh my!
I got up this morning with dogged determination. I put my flour in the fridge last night (don't judge me - desperate times call for desperate measures). I diced my (cold) butter and put it back into the refrigerator until the moment of mixing. I didn't take the ice cubes out of water until the split second I was ready to dump it into the bowl. Rolled it out on my floured island - rolling only in the up and down motion (not side to side), flipping the dough (to keep it from sticking) each time it needed to be repositioned to keep the up and down motion going on. And (drum roll) I picked it right up and plopped it right into the pie plate with nary a tear, fluted it, pricked it, and back in the fridge to chill again. Gave it an hour and popped it in the oven -- bottom rack. Halfway through, I pricked the parts that were bubbling up. (Who knew you could do that?)
The result? Pretty good in comparison to my previous failures. (Now don't ya'll go comparing this to your perfect pie crusts. I'm still fragile.) It does have a little slippage going on -- but all in all -- not too bad. My granddaughter is coming over this afternoon, so I think I'll make a chocolate pie. (If the crust is tough - the chocolate will make up for it.) I'll update.
May I have a round of applause?
