Kids at the B&B

I have had two weekends in a row with kids that are making me rethink whether I am going to allow any children at all in the future. I am located inside a resort so there is swimming, horseback riding, snow skiing and hiking on the Appalachian Trail, therefore I do get parents who want to bring their children along.
I don't know if I am getting old and crotchety but it seems that the lion's share of guest children are ruder and more self absorbed than say, ten years ago.
Last weekend a couple was celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary and brought along their thirteen year old son (!). The entire weekend centered around the kid. I had to nearly chase him down (as he ran between me and another guest) to get him to introduce himself. He clumped up and down the stairs like an ox and decorated the floor around his bed with his "stuff". He plopped down at the breakfast table, ate sugar cubes out of the sugar bowl, asked for things I wasn't offering (then didn't eat or drink it), picked up his sausage patty with his fingers, took a fresh baked homemade cinnamon roll and "beat it up" but didn't eat it, ate nothing and left the table within five minutes to go up to the room and play video games and "eat chocolate" (His mother laughed as she told us.) Fifteen minutes after check out time she was still nagging him to take a shower. They left 45 minutes after check out.
This weekend, I have a dad and his eleven and fourteen year old daughters (along with a childless older couple). When they checked in last night I told them I would set up coffee upstairs so folks could have a cup before breakfast. Which ever guest gets there first can push the red button to brew a pot. When the next couple checked in late I noticed that there was coffee brewed in the pot but none consumed. Kids! I had to discard everything and start over at 10 pm! Grrr!
This morning the fourteen year old kept pointing at whatever she wanted and then no "thank you" when it arrived (I kept saying, "You are welcome" but it didn't register). In addition, the kids ate virtually nothing. (My dogs love them!) Tomorrow I will fail to notice when she points. Of course, none of the parents ever do any parenting or correcting.
First of all, I think it is sad for the other guests sitting at the same table who come without children.
Second of all, it is sad for me because I find rude kids (parent's fault) annoying. When my daughters were three years old they said, "Please" and Thank you", and I could take them to the finest restaurants and they would sit nice and dine politely. They ate real food like filet mignon and shrimp cocktails, no hotdogs or chicken nuggets for them! And they sat through the entire meal and ate it.
These two examples are just the latest. I do not get children that often but find that 80% of the time I am frustrated. I have to stash the sugar cubes that are out for guest coffee because they get in the sugar bowl and consume them all. I find candy wrappers hidden behind the toilet and in the magazine rack or stuffed down between the cushions in the window seat. Wash cloths used as toilet paper, shoes on the furniture and the guest fridge emptied of all the organic sodas I stock. They tease my dogs and look in the windows of my private areas. Arghh!
I know it is the parents who are to blame but I cannot think of any way to pre-screen the good parents from the bad. Any ideas inmates?
What do you do? BTW, I have found that foreigners and new immigrants from other counties children are much better behaved. Shame! (Maybe I should screen by accents )

The thirteen year old boy last weekend supposedly had wheat and dairy allergies. So when he consumed a yeast roll I told his mother I was confused. She then told me that his preferences change week to week! After I cooked around his "allergies" all weekend???

INNmates, want to nip that in the bud before word gets out, yes we are ball and chained to our inns.
How many room nights do you have that are families?
How many room nights do you NOT know you lose because you allow children?
You can't be all things to all people, we think we can do this and it only comes back to bite us. Pick your target demographic and go for it. You will be much happier in the long run. You can't sell romantic getaway if kids are involved, sorry to everyone who says you can, you can't. They don't mix.
People (other guests) are not complaining to you but they want to, I would not stay there if some kid was eating sausage with his fingers, I go away to escape and not to be involved in another family. Just my 2 cents. Kid behavior is not always offensive per se, it is just annoying - sitting on feet in shoes at the table, or standing on seat, swinging legs, high pitches voices, running - everywhere, parents trying to control them and saying their name 50 times an hour (this one kills me and makes me want to hang myself).

JBloggs said:

INNmates, want to nip that in the bud before word gets out, yes we are ball and chained to our inns.
How many room nights do you have that are families?
How many room nights do you NOT know you lose because you allow children?
You can't be all things to all people, we think we can do this and it only comes back to bite us. Pick your target demographic and go for it. You will be much happier in the long run. You can't sell romantic getaway if kids are involved, sorry to everyone who says you can, you can't. They don't mix.
People (other guests) are not complaining to you but they want to, I would not stay there if some kid was eating sausage with his fingers, I go away to escape and not to be involved in another family. Just my 2 cents. Kid behavior is not always offensive per se, it is just annoying - sitting on feet in shoes at the table, or standing on seat, swinging legs, high pitches voices, running - everywhere, parents trying to control them and saying their name 50 times an hour (this one kills me and makes me want to hang myself)..

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You are right. I just needed to have someone else make the point. People think they should get a discount for children but I say they should pay double...now that is a thought. Ha!

We don't allow children under 8, but we may move that up to 10. More often than not, parents leave the "babysitting" to us and just ignore their kids. Not worth the hassle to us and the inconvenience to other guests.

Due to our location we cannot 'forbid' children. So, like you, we try to make sure we meet and greet them. Some are just sulky teens and I ignore them. Some are toddlers who are into everything. I treat them like soccer balls and round them up and shoot them back to their parents. I also take pity on parents with babies. I will hold the babies while the parents eat breakfast. There is such a look of relief when parents get to eat one full meal while it's hot.
We do have some who have been coddled since birth and the sun rises and sets on them. (I was one of those kids, so I know what it's like to be slapped by adults who think my parents did a poor job raising me. I do mean slapped, literally.) And then we have some kids who offer their seats at the table to adults who are whining at me that there's not enough room. I think the last set of kids far outweighs the first set in the kind of kids we see.
We bribe kids with a gift when they arrive. I'm not ashamed to say that. ;-) Most kids love Gomez. He gives off a certain air of the uncle you wish your uncle was.
However, who is your market? That's the determiner. If your market is couples then don't accept kids. Just don't.
It's not the same thing, but we stopped taking dogs about 4 years ago. We have 3 couples who are still allowed to bring their dog with them but that is it. No new dogs. Altho one couple did bring a brand new dog. But they have the kid who offers her seat to adults so they get a pass.

If you don't have to have them, get rid of them!!

Let's share horrible B&B kid stories now. I shall begin:
"He is an only child, he won't be any trouble" she promised.
Those words were ringing in my head as I heard stomping and running then, slam.
Then, slam stomping and running.
Stomping and running, then slam.
Then, slam stomping and running.
I had burners alive on the stove, a full house to feed and I was finally able to race out here and catch the mongrel in the act as he raced up and down the hallway down the stairs and out the front door over and over again. I grabbed him by his shirttail and said "Where are your parents?" His reply, word for word "They locked me out of the room."
So as you can see, I state my case about no romantic getaway with kids, so lock them out and give it a whirl.
I was fighting mad. Everyone else babysat their brat while they had "a nap".

Let's share horrible B&B kid stories, Part 2:
The child was here before birth so we allowed it, local connection, so allowed it. As Dad continued to talk at the table to the other adults she got off standing on her dirty shoes in her chair to literally walking around the TABLE TOP. I had to pick my jaw off the ground. He continued his conversation ignoring his 4 year old walking around people's plates, coffee cups and arms.
I said "No."
They all stopped and looked at me, what is the problem? "You have to get your daughter off the table, right now, before she falls" like any good innkeeper I made it about her care, not about the flippin' behavior.
He took her down and walked into the parlor and put her on the sofa and walked back to his conversation. I stood there shaking my head. She leaped up and began to jump on the antique sofa.
That's all I can share for now, I have a handful of others, but why? Because we don't allow kids. We had a mother and daughter getaway for her 13th birthday, she was delightful, they dressed for breakfast, wanted to drink tea from cups and saucers and enjoy her 'coming of age' elegantly. Sweet, wonderful, amazing guests.

I don't have any kids horror stories because I've kept firm about out no kid policy in the main house. We have a separate cottage where kids can make noise and do kid things. There are irritating things they do over there, but other than finding cheerios hidden somewhere 2 months later, it's pretty smooth sailing around here with kids.
We're a romantic getaway. That's our bread and butter. They can destroy your reputation very quickly. Just yesterday I was making a reservation for our all-inclusive elopement package and we had just 1 room left. Towards the end of the booking, the guy tells me they have a 7 year old "that'll be ok, won't it?" NOOOO! I turned down this $1,000 package for 1 night because it's more important that I keep our other guests happy.

Breakfast Diva said:

I don't have any kids horror stories because I've kept firm about out no kid policy in the main house. We have a separate cottage where kids can make noise and do kid things. There are irritating things they do over there, but other than finding cheerios hidden somewhere 2 months later, it's pretty smooth sailing around here with kids.
We're a romantic getaway. That's our bread and butter. They can destroy your reputation very quickly. Just yesterday I was making a reservation for our all-inclusive elopement package and we had just 1 room left. Towards the end of the booking, the guy tells me they have a 7 year old "that'll be ok, won't it?" NOOOO! I turned down this $1,000 package for 1 night because it's more important that I keep our other guests happy..

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Breakfast Diva said:

We're a romantic getaway. That's our bread and butter. They can destroy your reputation very quickly. Just yesterday I was making a reservation for our all-inclusive elopement package and we had just 1 room left. Towards the end of the booking, the guy tells me they have a 7 year old "that'll be ok, won't it?" NOOOO! I turned down this $1,000 package for 1 night because it's more important that I keep our other guests happy.

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Take a 7 year old on your honeymoon/wedding night. yep, sounds about right. You qualify for the kid stories with that one.

JBloggs said:

Breakfast Diva said:

I don't have any kids horror stories because I've kept firm about out no kid policy in the main house. We have a separate cottage where kids can make noise and do kid things. There are irritating things they do over there, but other than finding cheerios hidden somewhere 2 months later, it's pretty smooth sailing around here with kids.
We're a romantic getaway. That's our bread and butter. They can destroy your reputation very quickly. Just yesterday I was making a reservation for our all-inclusive elopement package and we had just 1 room left. Towards the end of the booking, the guy tells me they have a 7 year old "that'll be ok, won't it?" NOOOO! I turned down this $1,000 package for 1 night because it's more important that I keep our other guests happy..

Click to expand...

Breakfast Diva said:

We're a romantic getaway. That's our bread and butter. They can destroy your reputation very quickly. Just yesterday I was making a reservation for our all-inclusive elopement package and we had just 1 room left. Towards the end of the booking, the guy tells me they have a 7 year old "that'll be ok, won't it?" NOOOO! I turned down this $1,000 package for 1 night because it's more important that I keep our other guests happy.

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Take a 7 year old on your honeymoon/wedding night. yep, sounds about right. You qualify for the kid stories with that one.

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Ohhhhh, it's happened a few times before where the kid(s) stayed with them in the cottage.

Although we say we welcome children, we rarely get them. I do state that the children must bring at least one well-behaved parent or guardian with them. The few times we have had a restless, upset baby, they were the only people in-house. My guardian angel watches out for me. So far we have only had two "kids" I wanted to slap silly. One was fulfilling the Mother's statement that he was a picky eater (I DID tell him that I was fortunate that MY Mother had ensured we would never starve - we got whatever we had rejected until we were hungry enough to eat ANYTHING she gave us) and the other was a 21-year-old that Mommy was paying the freight for her horse hobby and she talked VERY rudely to Mommy. I also admit I wanted to slap Mommy around for allowing it.
When I still had a lot of dolls in the house, none of the toddlers ever so much as touched them, not even the one that sat on a shelf at their eye level. I never "child-proofed" my house.

Kids/dogs in outside apartment only. Before we had the apartment I allowed kids inside twice, both times in off season when the only guests were those in the family. One family from Spain, one from France. The kids were quiet, well behaved and not picky eaters. Both times the guests booked by telephone and asked up front. I just had a feeling it would be OK, and it was, but very glad to have the apartment now.

We allow children and dogs in our outer buildings (our Carriage House suites and River House suites) but not in Main House rooms.
That said, we occasionally get disruptive children who damage the experience for our couples. In warmer months, we encourage families to enjoy the beauty of our outdoor gazebo for breakfast (or when the family is already settled in the dining room, we've encouraged the couples to enjoy the romance of the gazebo. Anything to try and keep guest type A from affecting guest type B. It's a fun dance.
Being near a ski area, we get families, but truthfully most of the families with wild children tend to stay there rather than a B&B.
That said, we've had some absolutely charming conversations in the fireplace room with 12- and 13-year-old children well behaved and well educated.

Breakfast Diva said:

I don't have any kids horror stories because I've kept firm about out no kid policy in the main house. We have a separate cottage where kids can make noise and do kid things. There are irritating things they do over there, but other than finding cheerios hidden somewhere 2 months later, it's pretty smooth sailing around here with kids.
We're a romantic getaway. That's our bread and butter. They can destroy your reputation very quickly. Just yesterday I was making a reservation for our all-inclusive elopement package and we had just 1 room left. Towards the end of the booking, the guy tells me they have a 7 year old "that'll be ok, won't it?" NOOOO! I turned down this $1,000 package for 1 night because it's more important that I keep our other guests happy..

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Good for you, I've done the same thing by turning down a couple with an 8 year old they mentioned casually at the end. My place is for couples and we have a max occupancy of just 2 guests per room. I don't want to worry about other guests being bothered while a couple is here to get away from their kids.

Breakfast Diva said:

I don't have any kids horror stories because I've kept firm about out no kid policy in the main house. We have a separate cottage where kids can make noise and do kid things. There are irritating things they do over there, but other than finding cheerios hidden somewhere 2 months later, it's pretty smooth sailing around here with kids.
We're a romantic getaway. That's our bread and butter. They can destroy your reputation very quickly. Just yesterday I was making a reservation for our all-inclusive elopement package and we had just 1 room left. Towards the end of the booking, the guy tells me they have a 7 year old "that'll be ok, won't it?" NOOOO! I turned down this $1,000 package for 1 night because it's more important that I keep our other guests happy..

Click to expand...

No kids here ever. The first question out of my mouth when answering the phone to take a reservation is "Is this for two adults?" I won't confirm dates or offer any more information until I know that there won't be a child tacked on at the end.
Kids will be kids. They get hand prints all over the place and make kid noise. They talk about kid things and generally change the armosphere in the breakfast room. And they should be allowed to be kids. Just not in a small B&B that markets as a romantic, quiet destination for couples.

We allow children, but we have The House to keep them in line and are in an high end tourist destination. With a big brick house glaring down at the children and if they scream, The House scream right back at them (echo). I'd say that The House leans over the child and poke them with a brick as it whisper, "You better behave or else!" They sit quietly in the Dining Room from the baby to the pre-teen. They become the reigning kings and queens of the Dining Room as all the rest of the guests praise the parents on how well behaved their children are. Many a child has been given gifts from the other guests after a weekend of visiting with them as they tell the guests all about their day at the beach, in the pool, and the kids tour they experienced.
That's being said, we will have a holy terror next week...

Put a sign up "If your children don't behave! I will feed them caffeine and chocolate and give them back to You!

Flower said:

Put a sign up "If your children don't behave! I will feed them caffeine and chocolate and give them back to You!.

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LOL! I think the kids I have had lately had already been there!
I am glad to see you still have a sense of humor considering what you are going through. I like you.