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nataliebee

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First off, I am so fascinated by this forum! I only dreamt there was a world of fellow "innmates" who knew the struggle... and I daydream often of a moment to myself where I can spend a little time getting some inspiration! Unfortunately I present to you my most hair-ripplingly mad self.
We have had several complaints over the years; prior to our residency here... minor things, beds too soft/firm, A/Cs too noisy, the usual. We have learned to pat heads and commiserate. We have made to-do lists for the Winter months. Rome wasn't built in a day, etc. We give it our best.
We had a couple from France in last week (we are English-speakers but get by on charm! Oh, and our bilingual housekeeping/serving staff.) I saw them come in, frown, continue to frown, push past my hubby and baby, push past my "hello and welcome!", push past hubby carrying five suitcases to the third floor, storm around the Inn for the duration of their stay.
Upon their check-out, I saw a handwritten, bullet-point list of their complaints. In French. I was so upset we shredded the note. It ruined our rare family day out. We had many nice reviews from that day, and the day before that, so why should I care?
They didn't give us a chance. Like they were the first and only guests presented with a language barrier! Did they ask us to replace, fix, turn down, turn up anything? Nope! Just a nasty note and another note (in English!!) in the tip jar, along the lines of "maybe if you were nicer, you would get a tip."
I private-messaged them as they had booked online. I summed up (nicely) what I said above. Even ran it through Google Translate so they wouldn't have to strain their wrists by doing so. Today, paragraphs from them! Hubby said I wasn't allowed to read it as it would trigger me. Haha. He had me cool off then proof-read his response. I would say in the 18-ish hours they were here, they had a dozen complaints, ranging from "you didn't smile, you had a baby in your arms (but that didn't annoy me), we only had two pieces of toast, we didn't have fresh fruit, the A/C was too loud, not a good value." Each complaint is valid in their eyes. Each complaint could have been taken care of at the time. I told myself to hold off messaging them until I slept on it.
We as Innkeepers are proud mamas of our home and business, whether we own or simply manage.
I will follow up if we receive our first 0/10 online review.
VENT OVER. whew.
 
A big hug is sent to you from me, right here right now. I would have a cup of tea and we could cry together too.
First of all, you know it wasn't you, nothing about you, and nothing about what you have there, they would find things. It is not over, responding is only prolonging the pain and the war with them. They think they are in a battle and will continue, so my advice is to do what you already did, throw it all away and NEVER look back. Right now you are giving them what they want, control.
They think that they were created to sort people out and trust us when we say we have all had "those guests" stay with us. Some of us are related to people like that. Take back the power from them Natalie.
Secondly, your husband is a wise man and please give him a high five from us. His job, in this innkeeping life should be to shield you from this crap if at all possible. I think back over our years and wondered if I should have told my husband things that happened, or if he should have told me. Yes, we are in it together, but honestly, some of us take things more to heart after an assault.
Hang in there, that pit you have in your stomach will pass. I am very sorry you had these horrible horrible excuse for human beings staying there, while you offered a warm welcome and hospitality.
 
First rejoice that they left it in the room and not on the internet. Second if someone could add the link here about how to warn TA of a negative review. I know its here somewhere but not sure where. Third I didn't want a tip from you anyways! Fourth find a sound proof spot and bawl, it will makes you feel better. Fifth its them not you! (Why? All the lovely reviews are testaments to that fact.) They were frowning when they arrived. Sixth shrug your shoulders and say, "Well, the best part is they won't be back!" Then go to something fun and forget it.
Like me, we need to not take things personally. Hugs and kleenex from me! Also welcome to the forum! Come on in and stay awhile!
 
First rejoice that they left it in the room and not on the internet. Second if someone could add the link here about how to warn TA of a negative review. I know its here somewhere but not sure where. Third I didn't want a tip from you anyways! Fourth find a sound proof spot and bawl, it will makes you feel better. Fifth its them not you! (Why? All the lovely reviews are testaments to that fact.) They were frowning when they arrived. Sixth shrug your shoulders and say, "Well, the best part is they won't be back!" Then go to something fun and forget it.
Like me, we need to not take things personally. Hugs and kleenex from me! Also welcome to the forum! Come on in and stay awhile!.
Thank you so so much! Ahh, I really do feel better. Moped around on day we got the letter, totally blind to anything but my own misery. How effin dramatic! The second day my head was clear and had a great time watching my little family splash around in a pool.
Maybe this is just more of a deeper-seated rejection issue.
OK, another question... what is TA? (Newbie here!)
 
A big hug is sent to you from me, right here right now. I would have a cup of tea and we could cry together too.
First of all, you know it wasn't you, nothing about you, and nothing about what you have there, they would find things. It is not over, responding is only prolonging the pain and the war with them. They think they are in a battle and will continue, so my advice is to do what you already did, throw it all away and NEVER look back. Right now you are giving them what they want, control.
They think that they were created to sort people out and trust us when we say we have all had "those guests" stay with us. Some of us are related to people like that. Take back the power from them Natalie.
Secondly, your husband is a wise man and please give him a high five from us. His job, in this innkeeping life should be to shield you from this crap if at all possible. I think back over our years and wondered if I should have told my husband things that happened, or if he should have told me. Yes, we are in it together, but honestly, some of us take things more to heart after an assault.
Hang in there, that pit you have in your stomach will pass. I am very sorry you had these horrible horrible excuse for human beings staying there, while you offered a warm welcome and hospitality..
I am so happy to have you folks! So I should just not respond? Not even to their review? We all know we WILL get it. And it will be laughably bad. (I make it a habit to respond immediately to any review, this tends to allow me to read and move on much faster and not stew on it.)
I just feel they got so much wrong with their comments. Should I allow them to reread their own mess and realize, hmm, yep, we're bad people.
 
A big hug is sent to you from me, right here right now. I would have a cup of tea and we could cry together too.
First of all, you know it wasn't you, nothing about you, and nothing about what you have there, they would find things. It is not over, responding is only prolonging the pain and the war with them. They think they are in a battle and will continue, so my advice is to do what you already did, throw it all away and NEVER look back. Right now you are giving them what they want, control.
They think that they were created to sort people out and trust us when we say we have all had "those guests" stay with us. Some of us are related to people like that. Take back the power from them Natalie.
Secondly, your husband is a wise man and please give him a high five from us. His job, in this innkeeping life should be to shield you from this crap if at all possible. I think back over our years and wondered if I should have told my husband things that happened, or if he should have told me. Yes, we are in it together, but honestly, some of us take things more to heart after an assault.
Hang in there, that pit you have in your stomach will pass. I am very sorry you had these horrible horrible excuse for human beings staying there, while you offered a warm welcome and hospitality..
I am so happy to have you folks! So I should just not respond? Not even to their review? We all know we WILL get it. And it will be laughably bad. (I make it a habit to respond immediately to any review, this tends to allow me to read and move on much faster and not stew on it.)
I just feel they got so much wrong with their comments. Should I allow them to reread their own mess and realize, hmm, yep, we're bad people.
.
nataliebee said:
I am so happy to have you folks! So I should just not respond? Not even to their review? We all know we WILL get it. And it will be laughably bad. (I make it a habit to respond immediately to any review, this tends to allow me to read and move on much faster and not stew on it.)
I just feel they got so much wrong with their comments. Should I allow them to reread their own mess and realize, hmm, yep, we're bad people.
Oh you DO respond IF they do give you a bad review. Thank you for your comments. THEN you launch into your commercial about your inn, your breakfasts, things to see and do in your area. Always respond with a commercial.
And welcome to our world.
 
Also make sure you run the response by us - we don't have "skin in the game" so can be objective.
If we ever get anything like that I repeat over and over "I am not going to let them win!" if you let them make you upset or angry they have won and I am not letting people like that have power over me!
 
It's horrible, it's a personal attack on you and your home. Hugs from us too.
However I do agree with JB and Gillum, entering in to correspondence with them is only prolonging the agony for you and as you're never going to placate people like this only antagonising them more leading to a greater chance they'll post online reviews.
Cleaning rooms is therapy for me in these situations. I ceremoniously screw up their comment sheet into a ball and throw it in the bin, then I clean the room and wash the linens and remove any trace that they were ever in my home.
 
First rejoice that they left it in the room and not on the internet. Second if someone could add the link here about how to warn TA of a negative review. I know its here somewhere but not sure where. Third I didn't want a tip from you anyways! Fourth find a sound proof spot and bawl, it will makes you feel better. Fifth its them not you! (Why? All the lovely reviews are testaments to that fact.) They were frowning when they arrived. Sixth shrug your shoulders and say, "Well, the best part is they won't be back!" Then go to something fun and forget it.
Like me, we need to not take things personally. Hugs and kleenex from me! Also welcome to the forum! Come on in and stay awhile!.
Thank you so so much! Ahh, I really do feel better. Moped around on day we got the letter, totally blind to anything but my own misery. How effin dramatic! The second day my head was clear and had a great time watching my little family splash around in a pool.
Maybe this is just more of a deeper-seated rejection issue.
OK, another question... what is TA? (Newbie here!)
.
TA is TripAdvisor.com...........
 
First rejoice that they left it in the room and not on the internet. Second if someone could add the link here about how to warn TA of a negative review. I know its here somewhere but not sure where. Third I didn't want a tip from you anyways! Fourth find a sound proof spot and bawl, it will makes you feel better. Fifth its them not you! (Why? All the lovely reviews are testaments to that fact.) They were frowning when they arrived. Sixth shrug your shoulders and say, "Well, the best part is they won't be back!" Then go to something fun and forget it.
Like me, we need to not take things personally. Hugs and kleenex from me! Also welcome to the forum! Come on in and stay awhile!.
Thank you so so much! Ahh, I really do feel better. Moped around on day we got the letter, totally blind to anything but my own misery. How effin dramatic! The second day my head was clear and had a great time watching my little family splash around in a pool.
Maybe this is just more of a deeper-seated rejection issue.
OK, another question... what is TA? (Newbie here!)
.
TA is TripAdvisor.com...........
.
Thank you!
 
Hi Nataliebee and welcome.
welcome.gif

This is a great place to vent - so vent away!
Wait until an oline review appears, then share it here if you will before responding. Or share what you plan to say in response. There are a few great 'responders' amoung us who can help you.
Back and forth personal correspondence with people like this is not a good idea. But what's done is done. I take criticism way too personally and would have it on my mind for days. You're not alone in this.
By the way, that 'good value' thing is a mystery. I've seen four star reviews out of a possible five, giving raves about breakfast, view, location, etc and then a four for value ... because nothing's perfect. :(
 
A big hug is sent to you from me, right here right now. I would have a cup of tea and we could cry together too.
First of all, you know it wasn't you, nothing about you, and nothing about what you have there, they would find things. It is not over, responding is only prolonging the pain and the war with them. They think they are in a battle and will continue, so my advice is to do what you already did, throw it all away and NEVER look back. Right now you are giving them what they want, control.
They think that they were created to sort people out and trust us when we say we have all had "those guests" stay with us. Some of us are related to people like that. Take back the power from them Natalie.
Secondly, your husband is a wise man and please give him a high five from us. His job, in this innkeeping life should be to shield you from this crap if at all possible. I think back over our years and wondered if I should have told my husband things that happened, or if he should have told me. Yes, we are in it together, but honestly, some of us take things more to heart after an assault.
Hang in there, that pit you have in your stomach will pass. I am very sorry you had these horrible horrible excuse for human beings staying there, while you offered a warm welcome and hospitality..
I am so happy to have you folks! So I should just not respond? Not even to their review? We all know we WILL get it. And it will be laughably bad. (I make it a habit to respond immediately to any review, this tends to allow me to read and move on much faster and not stew on it.)
I just feel they got so much wrong with their comments. Should I allow them to reread their own mess and realize, hmm, yep, we're bad people.
.
nataliebee said:
I am so happy to have you folks! So I should just not respond? Not even to their review? We all know we WILL get it. And it will be laughably bad. (I make it a habit to respond immediately to any review, this tends to allow me to read and move on much faster and not stew on it.)
I just feel they got so much wrong with their comments. Should I allow them to reread their own mess and realize, hmm, yep, we're bad people.
Oh you DO respond IF they do give you a bad review. Thank you for your comments. THEN you launch into your commercial about your inn, your breakfasts, things to see and do in your area. Always respond with a commercial.
And welcome to our world.
.
I am actually really thrilled to have found this!
 
Hi Nataliebee and welcome.
welcome.gif

This is a great place to vent - so vent away!
Wait until an oline review appears, then share it here if you will before responding. Or share what you plan to say in response. There are a few great 'responders' amoung us who can help you.
Back and forth personal correspondence with people like this is not a good idea. But what's done is done. I take criticism way too personally and would have it on my mind for days. You're not alone in this.
By the way, that 'good value' thing is a mystery. I've seen four star reviews out of a possible five, giving raves about breakfast, view, location, etc and then a four for value ... because nothing's perfect. :(.
I have about five, translated paragraphs at the ready. Waiting to pounce. You're right though, it's neither healthy nor professional to get into a pissing contest.
 
Some folks are just unhappy, they arrive that way and depart that way and then suddenly it must be my fault that they chose the wrong type property and argued among themselves, unfortunately when we care and enjoy this business we take it personally, it hurts and leaves us feeling bad for days, it is not just you, it is one of the pitfalls of the business, I expect we all get one or two every so often, I had mine last May, sometimes not much we can say except "sorry you didn't enjoy your stay", they are just unhappy folks and nothing we can say will change their mind.
 
Some folks are just unhappy, they arrive that way and depart that way and then suddenly it must be my fault that they chose the wrong type property and argued among themselves, unfortunately when we care and enjoy this business we take it personally, it hurts and leaves us feeling bad for days, it is not just you, it is one of the pitfalls of the business, I expect we all get one or two every so often, I had mine last May, sometimes not much we can say except "sorry you didn't enjoy your stay", they are just unhappy folks and nothing we can say will change their mind..
For example we had a chap book for him and wife - wife clearly wore the trousers and had very specific wants for breakfast - we didn't do them. In his review stated our breakfast did not meet his wife's requirements - I replied that I completely agreed we were not a good match for his wife's requirements and felt that reading our breakfast menu before arrival or a phone call would have confirmed this and we recommended before they travel again they check with the hotel it was what they wanted - they book the wrong thing then are not happy its not what they wanted - not my problem.
 
Some folks are just unhappy, they arrive that way and depart that way and then suddenly it must be my fault that they chose the wrong type property and argued among themselves, unfortunately when we care and enjoy this business we take it personally, it hurts and leaves us feeling bad for days, it is not just you, it is one of the pitfalls of the business, I expect we all get one or two every so often, I had mine last May, sometimes not much we can say except "sorry you didn't enjoy your stay", they are just unhappy folks and nothing we can say will change their mind..
I think that's what it boils down to. I almost feel like we're about to sit down at a big boardroom table, ready for mediation. "Sorry you didn't enjoy your stay" and that's IT sounds pretty great but may set them off. They in this case are the victim and we are the Managers of this hellish place.
Did I mention they asked for a $30 discount? (Where they pulled this number out of, I'm not sure.) I accidentally came across THEIR response to us and it was bad. Like, just ignorant. I reached out to our Account Manager. Will try to settle this today (as in, they will know they are NOT receiving a dime.)
I know if I stayed somewhere THAT BAD, I wouldn't even stay for breakfast.
 
Welcome from a retired innkeeper and one who is glad she is out of the business now. Only respond if they give a bad TripAdvisor Review. Don't go back and forth. You are never going to please everyone so learn that early on. Do your best and move on. Don't let it get to you even though I know it will. Once you get lots of positive reviews, you know you are on your way. Don't look back. Good luck
 
First rejoice that they left it in the room and not on the internet. Second if someone could add the link here about how to warn TA of a negative review. I know its here somewhere but not sure where. Third I didn't want a tip from you anyways! Fourth find a sound proof spot and bawl, it will makes you feel better. Fifth its them not you! (Why? All the lovely reviews are testaments to that fact.) They were frowning when they arrived. Sixth shrug your shoulders and say, "Well, the best part is they won't be back!" Then go to something fun and forget it.
Like me, we need to not take things personally. Hugs and kleenex from me! Also welcome to the forum! Come on in and stay awhile!.
Here's the link.
Cut and paste (left it in this format so you can copy and save in your appropriate file)
https://www.tripadvisorsupport.com/hc/en-us/articles/200614417-As-a-business-representative-how-can-I-report-that-a-guest-threatened-me-with-a-bad-review-
( I filed one earlier this summer. Fortunately, haven't had to follow through as no negative has (yet) been posted )
 
A big hug is sent to you from me, right here right now. I would have a cup of tea and we could cry together too.
First of all, you know it wasn't you, nothing about you, and nothing about what you have there, they would find things. It is not over, responding is only prolonging the pain and the war with them. They think they are in a battle and will continue, so my advice is to do what you already did, throw it all away and NEVER look back. Right now you are giving them what they want, control.
They think that they were created to sort people out and trust us when we say we have all had "those guests" stay with us. Some of us are related to people like that. Take back the power from them Natalie.
Secondly, your husband is a wise man and please give him a high five from us. His job, in this innkeeping life should be to shield you from this crap if at all possible. I think back over our years and wondered if I should have told my husband things that happened, or if he should have told me. Yes, we are in it together, but honestly, some of us take things more to heart after an assault.
Hang in there, that pit you have in your stomach will pass. I am very sorry you had these horrible horrible excuse for human beings staying there, while you offered a warm welcome and hospitality..
I am so happy to have you folks! So I should just not respond? Not even to their review? We all know we WILL get it. And it will be laughably bad. (I make it a habit to respond immediately to any review, this tends to allow me to read and move on much faster and not stew on it.)
I just feel they got so much wrong with their comments. Should I allow them to reread their own mess and realize, hmm, yep, we're bad people.
.
nataliebee said:
I am so happy to have you folks! So I should just not respond? Not even to their review? We all know we WILL get it. And it will be laughably bad. (I make it a habit to respond immediately to any review, this tends to allow me to read and move on much faster and not stew on it.)
I just feel they got so much wrong with their comments. Should I allow them to reread their own mess and realize, hmm, yep, we're bad people.
Consider this
When they write a review (and they will) everyone will read what YOU wrote in response. The review will be the first one people go to above the 55 great reviews, the 1 stinker will be click bait. I do it, you do it, we all want to see what is said, and then how the innkeeper responded. If you pull them apart line by line it will only VALIDATE that one small part of what they say "unfriendly, overbearing, not welcoming" or whatever words they choose. I tried humor and even that was not worthy. I learned my lesson.
I hope you listen to that, as we all want to clear our names, we all want to set everything right. We cannot change someones opinion, their pov or how nasty they are, ever. And you know what? It is not our job. If they want English Breakfast Tea and you offered Irish Breakfast Tea you will forever be in the wrong, and did not provide them a perfect stay. You can't correct them, all you can do is share your positive attitude and warm welcoming with new guests (or you will deter future guests).
More ranting from JB: Don't let it bite you in the bum, it will, we all have done it. Regretfully so, and the name "POOKA" (name changed) comes up all the flippin' time for me. Forever, the piece o crap who tried to destroy what we have worked so hard to build, with every penny, every ounce of sweat, lack of sleep, hard work, all of it - one GUY (or person) can come in and take you down, the cowards. Don't give him/her the power. Please. I say this to all my innmates.
 
A big hug is sent to you from me, right here right now. I would have a cup of tea and we could cry together too.
First of all, you know it wasn't you, nothing about you, and nothing about what you have there, they would find things. It is not over, responding is only prolonging the pain and the war with them. They think they are in a battle and will continue, so my advice is to do what you already did, throw it all away and NEVER look back. Right now you are giving them what they want, control.
They think that they were created to sort people out and trust us when we say we have all had "those guests" stay with us. Some of us are related to people like that. Take back the power from them Natalie.
Secondly, your husband is a wise man and please give him a high five from us. His job, in this innkeeping life should be to shield you from this crap if at all possible. I think back over our years and wondered if I should have told my husband things that happened, or if he should have told me. Yes, we are in it together, but honestly, some of us take things more to heart after an assault.
Hang in there, that pit you have in your stomach will pass. I am very sorry you had these horrible horrible excuse for human beings staying there, while you offered a warm welcome and hospitality..
I am so happy to have you folks! So I should just not respond? Not even to their review? We all know we WILL get it. And it will be laughably bad. (I make it a habit to respond immediately to any review, this tends to allow me to read and move on much faster and not stew on it.)
I just feel they got so much wrong with their comments. Should I allow them to reread their own mess and realize, hmm, yep, we're bad people.
.
nataliebee said:
I am so happy to have you folks! So I should just not respond? Not even to their review? We all know we WILL get it. And it will be laughably bad. (I make it a habit to respond immediately to any review, this tends to allow me to read and move on much faster and not stew on it.)
I just feel they got so much wrong with their comments. Should I allow them to reread their own mess and realize, hmm, yep, we're bad people.
Consider this
When they write a review (and they will) everyone will read what YOU wrote in response. The review will be the first one people go to above the 55 great reviews, the 1 stinker will be click bait. I do it, you do it, we all want to see what is said, and then how the innkeeper responded. If you pull them apart line by line it will only VALIDATE that one small part of what they say "unfriendly, overbearing, not welcoming" or whatever words they choose. I tried humor and even that was not worthy. I learned my lesson.
I hope you listen to that, as we all want to clear our names, we all want to set everything right. We cannot change someones opinion, their pov or how nasty they are, ever. And you know what? It is not our job. If they want English Breakfast Tea and you offered Irish Breakfast Tea you will forever be in the wrong, and did not provide them a perfect stay. You can't correct them, all you can do is share your positive attitude and warm welcoming with new guests (or you will deter future guests).
More ranting from JB: Don't let it bite you in the bum, it will, we all have done it. Regretfully so, and the name "POOKA" (name changed) comes up all the flippin' time for me. Forever, the piece o crap who tried to destroy what we have worked so hard to build, with every penny, every ounce of sweat, lack of sleep, hard work, all of it - one GUY (or person) can come in and take you down, the cowards. Don't give him/her the power. Please. I say this to all my innmates.
.
JBloggs said:
More ranting from JB: Don't let it bite you in the bum, it will, we all have done it. Regretfully so, and the name "POOKA" (name changed) comes up all the flippin' time for me. Forever, the piece o crap who tried to destroy what we have worked so hard to build, with every penny, every ounce of sweat, lack of sleep, hard work, all of it - one GUY (or person) can come in and take you down, the cowards. Don't give him/her the power. Please. I say this to all my innmates.
I've accepted that the bad reviews we got are from the same person who is so very hateful that being in their presence, even by talking about the situation, is giving them more control. (Altho I do joke about it with Gomez!)
Thus the very short response which doesn't rebut any of their lies. And doesn't actually acknowledge the writer at all other than to apologize to anyone who has to read that hatred.
 
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