The Weight - looking for some advice

Because a lot of us have been thru similar circs, I'm looking for some advice. I have not been able to pull myself out of my funk after my dad's death. When mom died I had him to help me. He needed us to look after him. Now I'm kind of adrift and not really interested in anything.
I realized a lot of the things I enjoyed doing I enjoyed because I had them to share with. Now I'm having to reinvent myself and it's not going well. I've lost interest in a lot of things. It's obvious in re business as I'm not blogging, the newsletter is a grating chore, and I can't get the energy together to come up with new packages or even to do updates that need doing.
So, what do you suggest? I've been easy on myself in re what I force myself to do. I've cut myself slack where I can, but now I'm foundering. What I'd like to do is retire! But, I know this will pass in awhile and then I'm stuck with no job.

I wish I had great advice. I can only offer a big hug.
I'm so sorry you are going through this.
Have you looked at grief counseling or therapy? Maybe a group on line? There is an online forum for almost everything.
Grief is difficult. Change is difficult. {{{{{{Morticia}}}}}}

It's really tough and me too offering a big hug. I stopped anti depressants 6 months ago and am starting to feel the funk again but am determined not to go back. I have cut way back on clients but still doing more work than I want. Haven't found anything else I want to do yet either but hoping now that good weather is here, I will get out and walk to boost the brain and body.

I feel for you, it can be a tough time. Lost my folks over 15 years ago, sort of claimed Maxine's folks as my own, but lost her mom a couple of years back and on our fourth trip this year with her dads health.
I can't say I always took my parents advice, but I could ask their opinion, my security blanket. Now we are supposed to be the wise old folks with the answers, and uh, well, I don't have the answers, how in the heck did I get old so fast?
That's where I get in the funky mood or lost feelings, want to start things, but don't have the energy or motivation, take a nap and then depressed because nothing got done.
You are not really alone in this, maybe slowly it gets better. I'm lucky in that daughter came a year ago, a little help and encouragement, an occasional kick in the rump to get me moving, I'm still slow, but more encouraged than a few years back. Hang in there

Hugs to you. The only thing I can say is - Time. We all deal with grief in different ways.

My Mom died 9 yrs ago, Dad 5 and I had a little cry yesterday as I went down memory lane of my childhood Easter Sundays.
Over time the grief will subside for the most part but there will always be times!

Find a new hobby or take on a new project, something you have always wanted to do. You may have to force yourself to get started but hopefully that will help.

It takes a couple of years to really get back into life after a big loss. Unfortunately grief can't be rushed so I would say that you might try just one or two of the most important things you used to enjoy and try to work them back into your routine.
I use exercise for all my emotional needs. It is a lot cheaper than a shrink and makes me feel like I am at least taking care of myself. But then again, I am a kinetic person. If you are more cerebral perhaps you can tap into your writing..try some poetry or a few short stories that allow you to reflect on your life.
You have the right to be in a slump. Hug yourself for me.

You've lost both your parents in such a short span of time. Losing one is a big loss, losing both leaves you with 'now what?' Wanting to call mom or dad. Grief is so personal it is hard to say what will help you.
You are a writer. Do you feel the urge to express your feelings this way? I found it very helpful in dealing with my own grief, though some of my writings were rages and barely coherent. I write to my late husband, to my mom, to my dad, to others who have passed. I took up photography recently (after losing most of the site in one eye!!) and I love it. I am not sure how it started or where it came from, this new passion. Maybe because I realize how precious site is, I don't know. I only know I was traveling to some appointment very early in the morning and was captivated by the sunrise.
Must you blog? Is it a big draw to your inn? I would tell readers that you are taking a break from it for a while due to the loss of your parents (if you are willing to share that) then leave it alone. Post links to the town pages if you feel you must and let the blog ride.
You are a business person so you see what you're not doing ... you say you are foundering. But it has not been that long, dear friend. You must be gentle and patient with yourself. Hug that man of yours. After a time, interests sometimes come back.
If you can find a support group face to face or online you might give it a try. Depends on your personality and what you need right now.

We each handle things so personally - there IS NO way to tell you how to handle it.
Mom died in 1995 - it was a "Thank GOD" as she had Alzheimer's. Daddy died in 1996 - here with me taking care of him. I was grateful he was not gasping for breath any longer. I had also said goodbye as if it was the last time for 10 years.
My brother in December was a shock but meeting his girlfriend and communicating with her helped, as did trying to settle his estate with NO info and no passwords. I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
With Himself deciding to crash the exit ramp instead of putting on the turn signal first, the sound of silence has been the hard part. And I have had days that I just sit here and do nothing. I have forced myself to do the things I did - kept my hour at Chapel, ran the gauntlet by going to church that first Sunday and then getting the hell OUT before too many could do the condolences, did my duties as City Clerk that Monday - and even had a guest that night who did know (the guests - walk-in - Sunday did not know and I did not let on). I am being helped by part 1 of his studio went out today - it will be an exhibit in a motorcycle museum (part 2 will go after I have more time to go through the stuff in it) and the high school art teacher came today also to go through his art supplies and take them for her classes - he had paints and brushes her budget would never buy plus an enlarger the BOE would never have funded. I even got most of the ironing done before a Telsa interrupted that - stuffed everything into my bedroom until he left.
One of my daughters has handled it by picking a fight - looking for something she can find that I should have done. I actually put MY mental health above hers by not responding to her texts until the next day. She is going to be furious that ALL his art supplies are not here for her - but I did what HE wanted and what I wanted to do.
This is so far, not quite a month yet. I have no clue how it will be after the kids and grandkids leave after the Memorial Service. I am sincerely hoping to start getting guests - to keep busy and to keep financially viable. This one is too new to tell. I did get a cold that has gone but left a cough behind that will not quit. That is draining.
Mort, I wish I could help you. Unfortunately, we each have to work through our grief in our own way and in our own time. I still miss my Granny - and she died in 1969 and Pappy who died in 1964. I tear up when I hear their favorite hymn - and I am NOT a crier. There is no magic wand to make us get off our duffs and live - only knowing they would want you to love and laugh and live life to the fullest and knowing they are not gone totally until there is no one left who remembers them. Talk about the adventures, good times and bad times. Relive times together. As has been mentioned, write your parents story and yours with them. Their story will keep them here with you. I am surrounded with Himself's paintings - and get to hear the admiration of his work. Best to you, my friend.

Start a new habit. My suggestion, a half hour walk, each day, even if you have to drive to a new area each time to do it. Just to get some air and some new atmosphere. Time to think about nothing.

So sorry you feel this way.
As others have said everyone is different, but I think you have to let yourself be miserable and sad when you need to be. There's too much emphasis in the world of coping by getting on with it, but at times like this you have to allow yourself to wallow in it, get all the old photos out, tell them how much you miss them and how cruel it is that they're gone, bawl your eyes out, let go.
Only then can you pick yourself up and get on with living.

EmptyNest said:

It's really tough and me too offering a big hug. I stopped anti depressants 6 months ago and am starting to feel the funk again but am determined not to go back. I have cut way back on clients but still doing more work than I want. Haven't found anything else I want to do yet either but hoping now that good weather is here, I will get out and walk to boost the brain and body..

Click to expand...

St Johns Wort is a anti depressant you can find on the vitamin shelf in Walmart, Health food store, etc. My Grandpa took it for years and now my Dad takes it. You can notice when they forgot to take it. Grandpa's doctor recommended it to us.

Generic said:

Start a new habit. My suggestion, a half hour walk, each day, even if you have to drive to a new area each time to do it. Just to get some air and some new atmosphere. Time to think about nothing..

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I second Generic's suggestion. My addition is to decide how far you want to walk. Have someone drop you off that far away. Then you walk home.

Generic said:

Start a new habit. My suggestion, a half hour walk, each day, even if you have to drive to a new area each time to do it. Just to get some air and some new atmosphere. Time to think about nothing..

Click to expand...

Generic said:

Start a new habit. My suggestion, a half hour walk, each day, even if you have to drive to a new area each time to do it. Just to get some air and some new atmosphere. Time to think about nothing.

Click to expand...

Went birding today. It helped.

Morticia said:

Generic said:

Start a new habit. My suggestion, a half hour walk, each day, even if you have to drive to a new area each time to do it. Just to get some air and some new atmosphere. Time to think about nothing..

Click to expand...

Generic said:

Start a new habit. My suggestion, a half hour walk, each day, even if you have to drive to a new area each time to do it. Just to get some air and some new atmosphere. Time to think about nothing.

Click to expand...

Went birding today. It helped.
.

Click to expand...

did you see anything interesting?

TheBeachHouse said:

Morticia said:

Generic said:

Start a new habit. My suggestion, a half hour walk, each day, even if you have to drive to a new area each time to do it. Just to get some air and some new atmosphere. Time to think about nothing..

Click to expand...

Generic said:

Start a new habit. My suggestion, a half hour walk, each day, even if you have to drive to a new area each time to do it. Just to get some air and some new atmosphere. Time to think about nothing.

Click to expand...

Went birding today. It helped.
.

Click to expand...

did you see anything interesting?
.

Click to expand...

TheBeachHouse said:

did you see anything interesting?

Click to expand...

Tons! But just the walk was good considering I threw my back out on Monday. I couldn't move all day.

Morticia said:

Generic said:

Start a new habit. My suggestion, a half hour walk, each day, even if you have to drive to a new area each time to do it. Just to get some air and some new atmosphere. Time to think about nothing..

Click to expand...

Generic said:

Start a new habit. My suggestion, a half hour walk, each day, even if you have to drive to a new area each time to do it. Just to get some air and some new atmosphere. Time to think about nothing.

Click to expand...

Went birding today. It helped.
.

Click to expand...

I think its a combination of doing something different and its proven people struggling with depression have low vit D so a good dose of sunlight helps, plus the recommend it as a supplement - worth a shot as it doesn't do you any harm.

Jcam said:

Morticia said:

Generic said:

Start a new habit. My suggestion, a half hour walk, each day, even if you have to drive to a new area each time to do it. Just to get some air and some new atmosphere. Time to think about nothing..

Click to expand...

Generic said:

Start a new habit. My suggestion, a half hour walk, each day, even if you have to drive to a new area each time to do it. Just to get some air and some new atmosphere. Time to think about nothing.

Click to expand...

Went birding today. It helped.
.

Click to expand...

I think its a combination of doing something different and its proven people struggling with depression have low vit D so a good dose of sunlight helps, plus the recommend it as a supplement - worth a shot as it doesn't do you any harm.
.

Click to expand...

Given the northernness of my location, vit D supplements are pretty much required. ;-)

Morticia said:

TheBeachHouse said:

Morticia said:

Generic said:

Start a new habit. My suggestion, a half hour walk, each day, even if you have to drive to a new area each time to do it. Just to get some air and some new atmosphere. Time to think about nothing..

Click to expand...

Generic said:

Start a new habit. My suggestion, a half hour walk, each day, even if you have to drive to a new area each time to do it. Just to get some air and some new atmosphere. Time to think about nothing.

Click to expand...

Went birding today. It helped.
.

Click to expand...

did you see anything interesting?
.

Click to expand...

TheBeachHouse said:

did you see anything interesting?

Click to expand...

Tons! But just the walk was good considering I threw my back out on Monday. I couldn't move all day.
.

Click to expand...

ouch!
I almost never initiate a walk but when someone pushes me into it, it really does help the attitude.
Hope you are feeling better.

TheBeachHouse said:

Morticia said:

TheBeachHouse said:

Morticia said:

Generic said:

Start a new habit. My suggestion, a half hour walk, each day, even if you have to drive to a new area each time to do it. Just to get some air and some new atmosphere. Time to think about nothing..

Click to expand...

Generic said:

Start a new habit. My suggestion, a half hour walk, each day, even if you have to drive to a new area each time to do it. Just to get some air and some new atmosphere. Time to think about nothing.

Click to expand...

Went birding today. It helped.
.

Click to expand...

did you see anything interesting?
.

Click to expand...

TheBeachHouse said:

did you see anything interesting?

Click to expand...

Tons! But just the walk was good considering I threw my back out on Monday. I couldn't move all day.
.

Click to expand...

ouch!
I almost never initiate a walk but when someone pushes me into it, it really does help the attitude.
Hope you are feeling better.
.

Click to expand...

Yeah. I was doing something really stupid - brushing my teeth. Snap! I felt it pop right across my lower back. Couldn't stand up straight. Couldn't sit down. Couldn't find Gomez. Tried getting upstairs myself. Yikes!
Back to doing my stretches. Still not going to do any painting or furniture moving this week.

Same here Mort. Good thing it's still the slow time because it's as if everything is in suspended animation. Playing at being normal. Took an extension on his taxes. Finally this week canceled AAA and car insurance.
Nothing will fill that void. But if you can find a thing, a thought, an activity that brings comfort - it might help to spend some time there.
DH took a wonderful photo of Dad some months ago, and just looking at that smiling photo does help. We used to drink tea together. Drinking tea helps.
Hugs and best wishes.