Hosting a shower VENT VENT VENT

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Yall, this is long, im warning you now, but i am so mad and sressed im almost in tears. The part towards the end about the photo shoot is interesting, though. I brought this on myself, but I just have to rant or I will say it out loud to the guest and make a huge scene if I don't calm down.

Shower was scheduled about a month ago and hostess wanted a small 2 hour shower and an extra hour for set up and clean up (30 min before and 30 afrer) . Set the Rez for 4 hours just in case, but left the confirmation email at 3 hours. It has become what I can only imagine was the mom/ hostess trying to win a prize for most pinterest ideas crammed into a single event .

She called us at 10 am, they were at breakfast and wanted to go ahead and come to the house to "get the guest of honor ready. " I told her we still had overnight guests until 11 and we were not at the house to let them in. She said we are just around the corner so we will wait until you get here.

We whipped the car around and headed to the house. Sure enough, 10:30 they are already here. The girls come into parlor carrying makeup bsgs, curling irons, etc. And look around and ask "so Is this where we have to get ready?" I replied that there was a small bathroom available, but that their rental included the patio, garden, and parlor and they were welcome to use those spaces.

Their little faces were soooo cracked, but I was not going to let them use one of the suites for their private dressing room just because they showed up almost 2 hours early and wanted to play dress up
Spoke to hostess about time that we had agreed upon, and she said We'll the shower is from 2 to 4 and I knew we needed some time to set up. It's 10:30. 10:30, Yall I repeat, 10:30. I told her we would have to adjust her rate, since her original Rez was from 12-4.

So the girls are all doing hair and makeup and mom/hostess is dragging so many bags out of the back of her suv you would swear it was a clown car. Name a hobby or craft store, and she had apparently been there. There is no way this is grating cleaned up in 30 minutes.

As I passive aggressively stomped up and down the stairs twith laundry from the upstairs rooms, she begins to unpack the bags and to my horror, she has not unwrapped or preassembled any of her decorations :pink balloons, not blown up. Pink marbkes..which she ocd-edly was COUNTING into mason jars not filled, pink tulle bows not cut or tied. Sigh.

I was unloading the dishwasher and she cane in and told me "this is awkward, but would you mind asking your husband to avoid coming through here or going out back because we are going to take some photos and she is going to have on MINIMAL CLOTHING" So I just went back and told him it was time to get lunch since we were now hosting an R rated portrait shoot. In the back yard. I'm not kidding.

We got back from lunch and they are ASSEMBLING FOOD and DECORATING CUPCAKES in the kitchen. Clearly those little time lapse idea videos on the Internet do not work out in the same time frame in real life. Sigh.

I am now hiding out in the downstairs suite, bemoaning the fact that the liquor store is not open on Sundays.