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notAgrandma

notAgrandma

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Hi everyone - I really appreciate having a forum like this where we can let our hair down and discuss the ins & outs and the ups & downs of innkeeping. I read two stories in the past week that really got me thinking about venting online. I know that nothing ever dies on the internet and nothing is truly private. I feel safe in this forum, but like many of us I use a screen name, don't mention my inn's location, and I never mention a guest by name. While I feel that the actions of the chef and the photographer mentioned in these stories are pretty heinous, I can see myself venting about a PITA guest online and having it blow up in my face if the comments ever surfaced.
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jan/03/head-chef-gets-death-threats-over-spiking-vegan-food-claim
http://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/5371658/bride-slams-photographer-fat-shaming-her-photoshopping-thinner/
I suppose I'm just asking folks to keep the forum private, along the lines of "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas".
 
Before this forum came into being, a bunch of us used to belong to a different one that was also open to the world.
We had an awful guest here who I complained about on that forum. No names, but the situation was kind of obvious if you were that guest.
Yes, she found that other forum. She never said anything directly to me about what I said, but she left behind print outs that showed me she'd found it.
She never came back. Win win in my mind.
However, it's a different world out there now and you've really got to have your ducks in a row to take on someone online. People just can't walk away from an online battle. It's too easy to get sucked in to the drama.
 
The subject has been broached before ... but it was determined to keep this forum open. And to hide your identity ... especially if you are going to use this forum to vent.
We all get 'upset' with a guest or guests or PITAs or princesses at some time or other ...
But ranting on facebook is not the place for it. Actually, you never really know who might see what you post anywhere online - so it's best to be careful. Both those people in the links you shared posted in facebook groups as themselves ... and the photographer, I think, was cruel, as she had to end with an insult.
 
seashanty said:
The subject has been broached before ... but it was determined to keep this forum open. And to hide your identity ... especially if you are going to use this forum to vent.
We all get 'upset' with a guest or guests or PITAs or princesses at some time or other ...
But ranting on facebook is not the place for it. Actually, you never really know who might see what you post anywhere online - so it's best to be careful. Both those people in the links you shared posted in facebook groups as themselves ... and the photographer, I think, was cruel, as she had to end with an insult..
Click to expand...
FB works both ways, I know people with a B&B who charged someone full rate when they cancelled last minute. The woman complained because she had to "stay home to care for a terminally ill relative" and asked for a refund. When they looked her up on FB (very easy to do) she'd posted photos of her and her girlfriends out clubbing on the Saturday night.
 
Highlands John said:
seashanty said:
The subject has been broached before ... but it was determined to keep this forum open. And to hide your identity ... especially if you are going to use this forum to vent.
We all get 'upset' with a guest or guests or PITAs or princesses at some time or other ...
But ranting on facebook is not the place for it. Actually, you never really know who might see what you post anywhere online - so it's best to be careful. Both those people in the links you shared posted in facebook groups as themselves ... and the photographer, I think, was cruel, as she had to end with an insult..
Click to expand...
FB works both ways, I know people with a B&B who charged someone full rate when they cancelled last minute. The woman complained because she had to "stay home to care for a terminally ill relative" and asked for a refund. When they looked her up on FB (very easy to do) she'd posted photos of her and her girlfriends out clubbing on the Saturday night.
.
Click to expand...
Agreed. FB does work both ways. Never be surprised who sees what you post there.
 
Nothing is private anymore. There are cameras and recording devices everywhere.
 
Highlands John said:
seashanty said:
The subject has been broached before ... but it was determined to keep this forum open. And to hide your identity ... especially if you are going to use this forum to vent.
We all get 'upset' with a guest or guests or PITAs or princesses at some time or other ...
But ranting on facebook is not the place for it. Actually, you never really know who might see what you post anywhere online - so it's best to be careful. Both those people in the links you shared posted in facebook groups as themselves ... and the photographer, I think, was cruel, as she had to end with an insult..
Click to expand...
FB works both ways, I know people with a B&B who charged someone full rate when they cancelled last minute. The woman complained because she had to "stay home to care for a terminally ill relative" and asked for a refund. When they looked her up on FB (very easy to do) she'd posted photos of her and her girlfriends out clubbing on the Saturday night.
.
Click to expand...
WOW.
omg_smile.gif
That innkeeper is a genius!
 
seashanty said:
The subject has been broached before ... but it was determined to keep this forum open. And to hide your identity ... especially if you are going to use this forum to vent.
We all get 'upset' with a guest or guests or PITAs or princesses at some time or other ...
But ranting on facebook is not the place for it. Actually, you never really know who might see what you post anywhere online - so it's best to be careful. Both those people in the links you shared posted in facebook groups as themselves ... and the photographer, I think, was cruel, as she had to end with an insult..
Click to expand...
One of the reasons I shared those stories is because I saw elsewhere on this forum that there's a "private" Facebook group for innkeepers. I read that the innkeeper will be asked 3 questions and admins have to approve their membership in the group. The photographer's post was in a "private" FB group that also requires members to apply and answer 3 questions (I checked). Which means that someone in the private group shared the photographer's cruel & beyond unprofessional rant. As you pointed out seashanty, posts on FB use your real name which makes it extremely easy to trace.
I tell myself over & over that I should never say or type anything that I wouldn't say directly to a person's face, but there are rare days when I just want to yell at someone or cry in frustration. One of the toughest things I experience as an innkeeper is not having coworkers. My husband has interacted with guests about 5 times in the past 6 years, so he has no idea how difficult it can be sometimes to smile & be polite while a guest is being a PITA. While this forum has been invaluable for advice about reservation systems, credit card processors, and recipes, it's the moral support that gives me warm fuzzies. <3
 
notAgrandma said:
seashanty said:
The subject has been broached before ... but it was determined to keep this forum open. And to hide your identity ... especially if you are going to use this forum to vent.
We all get 'upset' with a guest or guests or PITAs or princesses at some time or other ...
But ranting on facebook is not the place for it. Actually, you never really know who might see what you post anywhere online - so it's best to be careful. Both those people in the links you shared posted in facebook groups as themselves ... and the photographer, I think, was cruel, as she had to end with an insult..
Click to expand...
One of the reasons I shared those stories is because I saw elsewhere on this forum that there's a "private" Facebook group for innkeepers. I read that the innkeeper will be asked 3 questions and admins have to approve their membership in the group. The photographer's post was in a "private" FB group that also requires members to apply and answer 3 questions (I checked). Which means that someone in the private group shared the photographer's cruel & beyond unprofessional rant. As you pointed out seashanty, posts on FB use your real name which makes it extremely easy to trace.
I tell myself over & over that I should never say or type anything that I wouldn't say directly to a person's face, but there are rare days when I just want to yell at someone or cry in frustration. One of the toughest things I experience as an innkeeper is not having coworkers. My husband has interacted with guests about 5 times in the past 6 years, so he has no idea how difficult it can be sometimes to smile & be polite while a guest is being a PITA. While this forum has been invaluable for advice about reservation systems, credit card processors, and recipes, it's the moral support that gives me warm fuzzies. <3
.
Click to expand...
And someone in that private Facebook group shared stuff with someone who was being spoken about. And others shared directly on their own pages info they found in the private group.
I swore I was not going to jump in there and complain, but I can't help myself! Maybe my goal this year should just be to post helpful stuff.
 
notAgrandma said:
seashanty said:
The subject has been broached before ... but it was determined to keep this forum open. And to hide your identity ... especially if you are going to use this forum to vent.
We all get 'upset' with a guest or guests or PITAs or princesses at some time or other ...
But ranting on facebook is not the place for it. Actually, you never really know who might see what you post anywhere online - so it's best to be careful. Both those people in the links you shared posted in facebook groups as themselves ... and the photographer, I think, was cruel, as she had to end with an insult..
Click to expand...
One of the reasons I shared those stories is because I saw elsewhere on this forum that there's a "private" Facebook group for innkeepers. I read that the innkeeper will be asked 3 questions and admins have to approve their membership in the group. The photographer's post was in a "private" FB group that also requires members to apply and answer 3 questions (I checked). Which means that someone in the private group shared the photographer's cruel & beyond unprofessional rant. As you pointed out seashanty, posts on FB use your real name which makes it extremely easy to trace.
I tell myself over & over that I should never say or type anything that I wouldn't say directly to a person's face, but there are rare days when I just want to yell at someone or cry in frustration. One of the toughest things I experience as an innkeeper is not having coworkers. My husband has interacted with guests about 5 times in the past 6 years, so he has no idea how difficult it can be sometimes to smile & be polite while a guest is being a PITA. While this forum has been invaluable for advice about reservation systems, credit card processors, and recipes, it's the moral support that gives me warm fuzzies. <3
.
Click to expand...
Anyone found sharing from that group is kicked out of the group by the Admins. I am in it. I am me on here because I am too stupid to remember what I may have said as an anon and would out myself anyway.
 
Morticia said:
notAgrandma said:
seashanty said:
The subject has been broached before ... but it was determined to keep this forum open. And to hide your identity ... especially if you are going to use this forum to vent.
We all get 'upset' with a guest or guests or PITAs or princesses at some time or other ...
But ranting on facebook is not the place for it. Actually, you never really know who might see what you post anywhere online - so it's best to be careful. Both those people in the links you shared posted in facebook groups as themselves ... and the photographer, I think, was cruel, as she had to end with an insult..
Click to expand...
One of the reasons I shared those stories is because I saw elsewhere on this forum that there's a "private" Facebook group for innkeepers. I read that the innkeeper will be asked 3 questions and admins have to approve their membership in the group. The photographer's post was in a "private" FB group that also requires members to apply and answer 3 questions (I checked). Which means that someone in the private group shared the photographer's cruel & beyond unprofessional rant. As you pointed out seashanty, posts on FB use your real name which makes it extremely easy to trace.
I tell myself over & over that I should never say or type anything that I wouldn't say directly to a person's face, but there are rare days when I just want to yell at someone or cry in frustration. One of the toughest things I experience as an innkeeper is not having coworkers. My husband has interacted with guests about 5 times in the past 6 years, so he has no idea how difficult it can be sometimes to smile & be polite while a guest is being a PITA. While this forum has been invaluable for advice about reservation systems, credit card processors, and recipes, it's the moral support that gives me warm fuzzies. <3
.
Click to expand...
And someone in that private Facebook group shared stuff with someone who was being spoken about. And others shared directly on their own pages info they found in the private group.
I swore I was not going to jump in there and complain, but I can't help myself! Maybe my goal this year should just be to post helpful stuff.
.
Click to expand...
As you know, I walked away when I realized that one of the admins was a bully. The honest truth, I was giving them a lot of real and correct information, and others were giving them information based on no facts at all. I followed my information with links and evidence.
It's one thing to wish that others protect themselves properly, it's still another when you think it's right to put other people's entire business in jeopardy because you are following web information that is clearly WRONG and has no sources.
 

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