New Innkeeper - Boss is stressed out already and I don't start until May 15th

Hello,
I'm becoming a live in inn keeper on May 15th (no experience innkeeping )... I have Skyped twice with my new boss/owner of the inn and have been back and forth emails for over a month. She emails me it's a stressful time for her with doing renovations and getting ready to open the Inn (May 25th)...and to be advise... Was wondering on some advice on how to 1) Help her with her stress and 2) not get overwhelmed or stressed out myself because of her stress and because I'm a newbie Innkeeper. Is it wrong to email back... What can I do to help ease your stress on this transition or something along those lines...?
Thank you,
Newbie Innkeeper

Oh la la! Renovations never a good experience facing a deadline.
Advice: BE the calm one, avoid the drama. Look out for details that help prepare for the guest experience. Start by looking at your guest bookings: how many, who, when, special needs (gluten free, children, etc.) Focusing on the guest experience will make them comfortable and get you through. Things don't have to be perfect and most guests will understand loose ends as most will have gone through renovations themselves.

Ask her now what she wants you to help with when you arrive. Are you it? No one else is going to work there? You're in charge?
Are you the cook? Does she have recipes or are you starting from scratch? Is the kitchen set up?
Are you the housekeeper? Do you know if supplies have been ordered?
Are you taking the reservations? Do you know how the reservation system works?
Do you know the area? Guests are going to ask you for suggestions on what to do.
Study the website so you know it inside and out. You should know what packages or add ons the place offers.
You can help lower her stress level by being knowledgeable about your job. If the owner doesn't have a reference book set up for you giving you info on day to day operations, you may want to start that on your own so you can ask the questions when you get there.
Who handles plumbing problems? Who does the lawn? Who do you call if the power goes out? Where do you grocery shop? How do you pay for groceries? There should be a manual for you with this info.

BTW, are you contacting her or is she contacting you? If she's stressed when you call, maybe let her initiate calls.
You really can't do anything about renovation stress except not adding to it.
However, I also wouldn't start 'working' until I was getting paid. You can take notes for yourself, but I wouldn't be doing anything other than normal background info right now.

Morticia said:

BTW, are you contacting her or is she contacting you? If she's stressed when you call, maybe let her initiate calls.
You really can't do anything about renovation stress except not adding to it.
However, I also wouldn't start 'working' until I was getting paid. You can take notes for yourself, but I wouldn't be doing anything other than normal background info right now..

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She contacts me first, for the most part...via email. When we Skyped it was in her terms and time she selected ..we haven't talked in the phone yet.
When I do start working I will be getting paid.. I just go up there until the 15th (NJ) I'm in MD right now .. I have done all the research on the place ..the surrounding area (which I've never been to) .. the history of the town... Whatever you can think of I have researched..and I have read a lot of the posts on here to help me.
Thank you for replying

Morticia said:

Ask her now what she wants you to help with when you arrive. Are you it? No one else is going to work there? You're in charge?
Are you the cook? Does she have recipes or are you starting from scratch? Is the kitchen set up?
Are you the housekeeper? Do you know if supplies have been ordered?
Are you taking the reservations? Do you know how the reservation system works?
Do you know the area? Guests are going to ask you for suggestions on what to do.
Study the website so you know it inside and out. You should know what packages or add ons the place offers.
You can help lower her stress level by being knowledgeable about your job. If the owner doesn't have a reference book set up for you giving you info on day to day operations, you may want to start that on your own so you can ask the questions when you get there.
Who handles plumbing problems? Who does the lawn? Who do you call if the power goes out? Where do you grocery shop? How do you pay for groceries? There should be a manual for you with this info..

Click to expand...

I have emailed her that today to replay to her email (, I have not heard back yet ).. I am the assistant Innkeeper to her...but I'm the one that is going to live there 24/7. She basically said she wants to "train" me so that next year I can do everything by myself ... I.e. bookings, handle problems. Like if she goes on vacation or has an emergency she wouldn't have any other worry. She has in the past just hired seasonal "summer" people ..but she wants a person that can be there full time ..year round and she doesn't have to keep explaining the process to many people ..and again overtime less stress on her.
I am not the cook, she does continital breakfast.. bagels, coffee, muffins etc .. but I can cook vegan meals, I know to look for gluten free products if someone is gluten free etc if she ever does want to do hot meals.
I'll be helping with housekeeping at first when I get up there and if they need help throughout the season.. but there are main housekeepers.
I don't know the reservation system..she says she wants to train me and help me learn the system so next season .. I can do it on my own and she will have confidence and no worries
I have never been to the area. But, I have researched the inn and it's website. The surrounding inns..the area.. things to do..places to see. Places near by like other beach towns I have researched. I know the Inn and it's history ... Best restaurants (according to Google) for kids/family.. for a younger person ..ect.
Yep I have studied the inn website inside and out (wrote down as an outsider looking at the website pros and cons and why to fix spice it up)... I'm not going to tell her any of that straight up of course but if she asked me in which ways can she improve the website I'll already have it written down.
Ohh okay. She has given me what a "typical " day would look like kinda thing (I asked her that ) .. I know everyday Is never the same .
Those are all good questions. Thank you I'll right those down. My other question for her is (it may seem foolish )but NJ especially where I am going on the coast has gotten hit by some hurricanes.. some more major than others... What is the procedure in that kind of scenario... Who do I call if we need to relocate guests for some reason ( like an evacuation)... Do we have a back up generator? Etc. Where I live in MD we don't usually get hit very hard with hurricanes.. so I have never had that experience in my life... So I wanna be as prepared as I can because if I'm not prepared when the time comes I'll be freaking out and I don't want to freak out the guests who are probably freaking too. (If that makes sense).
Thanks for replying

Tom said:

Oh la la! Renovations never a good experience facing a deadline.
Advice: BE the calm one, avoid the drama. Look out for details that help prepare for the guest experience. Start by looking at your guest bookings: how many, who, when, special needs (gluten free, children, etc.) Focusing on the guest experience will make them comfortable and get you through. Things don't have to be perfect and most guests will understand loose ends as most will have gone through renovations themselves..

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I know and I'm coming right in the middle of that too. She has hired someone so it's not her doing the renovations (as far as I know )..
That's what I'm going to try to be the calm one. That's a good idea looking at the upcoming bookings! See when and how many are coming in (she opens the Inn officially may 25th so I have 10 days from when I get there to when we open to learn as much as I can) ... I have researched the inn, website, read all the reviews..te good and the bad).. looked up and familiarized myself with the town, things to do, places to eat, etc (I've never been so, I have done a lot of research... Also, local events coming up so I can let people aware. I.e. if they are at the INN may 30th I can let them know there is a parade going on..etc.
Thank you for replying

You're not her mother or her therapist. you are her employee. The most I would say is, "that's why you hired help! I'll be there in a week! Can't wait to get started."
Honestly, the business has some stress, but mostly it's busy. You can be busy without being under stress. Manage your days, plan ahead and don't let the turkeys get you down.
Also, construction is veeeery stressful. She'll be fine once you take on some of what is making her feel overwhelmed.

Morticia said:

Ask her now what she wants you to help with when you arrive. Are you it? No one else is going to work there? You're in charge?
Are you the cook? Does she have recipes or are you starting from scratch? Is the kitchen set up?
Are you the housekeeper? Do you know if supplies have been ordered?
Are you taking the reservations? Do you know how the reservation system works?
Do you know the area? Guests are going to ask you for suggestions on what to do.
Study the website so you know it inside and out. You should know what packages or add ons the place offers.
You can help lower her stress level by being knowledgeable about your job. If the owner doesn't have a reference book set up for you giving you info on day to day operations, you may want to start that on your own so you can ask the questions when you get there.
Who handles plumbing problems? Who does the lawn? Who do you call if the power goes out? Where do you grocery shop? How do you pay for groceries? There should be a manual for you with this info..

Click to expand...

To amplify from personal experience (Mort and mine):
Before you open, locate the sewer clean out, the circuit breaker panel (or panels on a large place) and the water supply shut off. Have the name/phone of a plumber who knows the place -- probably one who worked on remodel unless they ended on a sour note -- taped to the side of the refrigerator.

Stop! Take a deep breath and say, "Everything is going to be alright." And it will. Email her back and tell her that you are looking forward to helping her out and if she needs you earlier, feel free to give you a call. Then let her make the first move.
Hurricanes? The guests will either cancel/move reservations, etc. if they think it will hit your area or they will be the ones that want the experience! (the worst the better!)

Tom said:

Morticia said:

Ask her now what she wants you to help with when you arrive. Are you it? No one else is going to work there? You're in charge?
Are you the cook? Does she have recipes or are you starting from scratch? Is the kitchen set up?
Are you the housekeeper? Do you know if supplies have been ordered?
Are you taking the reservations? Do you know how the reservation system works?
Do you know the area? Guests are going to ask you for suggestions on what to do.
Study the website so you know it inside and out. You should know what packages or add ons the place offers.
You can help lower her stress level by being knowledgeable about your job. If the owner doesn't have a reference book set up for you giving you info on day to day operations, you may want to start that on your own so you can ask the questions when you get there.
Who handles plumbing problems? Who does the lawn? Who do you call if the power goes out? Where do you grocery shop? How do you pay for groceries? There should be a manual for you with this info..

Click to expand...

To amplify from personal experience (Mort and mine):
Before you open, locate the sewer clean out, the circuit breaker panel (or panels on a large place) and the water supply shut off. Have the name/phone of a plumber who knows the place -- probably one who worked on remodel unless they ended on a sour note -- taped to the side of the refrigerator.
.

Click to expand...

Tom said:

To amplify from personal experience (Mort and mine):
Before you open, locate the sewer clean out, the circuit breaker panel (or panels on a large place) and the water supply shut off. Have the name/phone of a plumber who knows the place -- probably one who worked on remodel unless they ended on a sour note -- taped to the side of the refrigerator.

Click to expand...

Yes! Sewer clean out location is essential! Or, septic tank clean out location.

In my experience this sort of stress comes from being overwhelmed by the number of things to.
I always write a list and prioritize things.