Guest Translator

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Highlands John's picture
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04/16/2010

Bit of end of season sillyness, what guests say and what they mean for all you newbies.

 

Phone enquiry  "My credit card is in my bag/car/neighbours house/teapot, I'll call you back" .............

"You're too expensive and I'm going to try and find somewhere else first"

 

"I'm a travel agent and I'll definitely recommend you to my clients".................

"I'd like a discount but you'll never hear from me or my clients ever again"

 

Phone "We can't seem to find you"..........

"We didn't read anything you sent us nor bring the directions you carefully supplied"

 

"What time is check-out?".........

"Our flights is not till late afternoon, we have no idea how to amuse ourselves so we want to sit in our room till 2 using your wifi "

 

"We need to be away sharp-ish tomorrow"

"We're going to be sitting in the breakfast room 15 minutes before official breakfast time"

 

Email: "Can we have a cot for our 6 month old baby?"

"We saw your website says no children but we booked anyway and now we want to test the water to spare us confrontation when we check-in"

__________________

If you wanted hotel facilities you should have booked a hotel and paid hotel prices!!!

 

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09/21/2019

Google sends my guest past my road and sign down to another road and up Vivian Lane, which is a road down the mountain. Have tried numerous times to get them to correct but no.

Highlands John's picture
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04/16/2010

Some people say "you're ever so difficult to find, we've been up and down this road about 5 times" 

firstly I sent you directions and secondly we've got a 6' sign with our name on it on the side of the road, so don't make out like it's our fault.

Arks's picture
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05/22/2010

Highlands John wrote:

"you're ever so difficult to find,... "

Except y'all in Britain would usually say it this way: you're ever so difficult to find, AREN'T YOU.

A statement, not a question. Adding "aren't you" at the end has the effect of saying, "I'm obviously correct and no one could possibly disagree with me".

__________________

All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep hotel. ~ Mark Twain

 

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09/21/2019

What is the translation for eta times?

Early afternoon

Late afternoon

Mid afternoon

Late day

I ask guest and I get those answers. Not that I am trying to pin them down to the minute but ball park like 3-4, so I know who is coming when.

Morticia's picture
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05/22/2008

Dinnertime. Well, yours or mine? We always get at least one that hits dinnertime (mine) on the nose.

I ask the question with a stated timeframe - between 3 and 7.

I still get late morning or early afternoon for answers.

__________________

Never judge a person's story by the chapter you walked in on.

 

Morticia's picture
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05/22/2008

All of those!

We get the 'my credit card is in the car' when they are trying to check in. I just say I'll wait while they go get it. Almost 100% are stunned that I want the card now.

ChrisandShelley's picture
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04/13/2014

LOL! Yep. We've had an occasional arrival with an infant. Luckily we were able to help them find accommodations elsewhere, but really, how hard is it to read things?

__________________

Christopher and Shelley Smith, Innkeepers
The Wildflower Bed & Breakfast, Mountain View, AR

 

JimBoone's picture
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12/18/2014

All of these are so true

Phone: I've learned to enjoy online booking, seems like everyone needs to call at least 3 times before booking. I did enjoy one guest some years back that didn't like the price, she was actually standing in the office, felt it would be so much cheaper at the chain in town, I offered to call them for her, when they were twice my price she stayed two days.

Not just travel agents, all sorts of local business that are going to send all their guests to visit.

Directions, everyone seems to believe the GPS until it sends them down a side road to the woods and says "you're here", then I should know where they are and how to direct them

__________________

Jim & Maxine

 

Highlands John's picture
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04/16/2010

JimBoone wrote:

Directions, everyone seems to believe the GPS until it sends them down a side road to the woods and says "you're here", then I should know where they are and how to direct them

If you put our post code into a GPS it will take you to the pub at the other end of the village. I know that because I live here, so it's highlighted in the directions I send. All the time the phone calls "We're outside the pub and we can't find you" or check-in "We got lost so we asked in the pub". I don't even bother to argue any more.

Morticia's picture
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05/22/2008

Too funny! Some GPS models take our guests right to the pub, also! This last caller was actually 2 miles away at one of the cheap hotels. She seemed put out when I told her she was 2 miles away. 

I'm going to look up the address for the hotel. Now I'm wondering. Nope, not even close to my address.

JimBoone's picture
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12/18/2014

Some folks just don't pay attention anyway, pre GPS days had a person with a reservation call, "I'm on Tunnel Road, where are you?", uh, well about 90 miles northeast, of course he didn't keep the reservation.

Highlands John's picture
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04/16/2010

A couple of times we've had people from London book a two night stay because they wanted to see LN.

they fall in the door about 10pm saying "OMG weve been driving for 11 hours, we had no idea how far it was" 

stay two nights and then have an 11 hour drive back.

Arks's picture
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05/22/2010

Highlands John wrote:

"OMG weve been driving for 11 hours, we had no idea how far it was"

In 2019, I have no sympathy for people who don't check time and distances on Google maps or a satellite navigator before leaving home. If they want to live with 1960 technology, that's THEIR choice.

Or try 1860 technology and take a train then rent a car at the end. It's not rocket science. Unless they're in the US, of course, where we foolishly gave up 99% of our passenger trains 50 years ago.

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