The Squishy Handshake upon arrival
Posted on: Mon, 06/22/2009 - 5:19pm
Original Topic
OfflineAlright, just had to play the devil's advocate and throw this one out there to contrast the hugfest going on.
Other local colleagues first tipped us on this one, but we all call it the "Squishy Handshake" around here.
At our place, I've made it a standard practice of greeting people at their cars and offering to carry luggage.
My greeting is usually a "Hi, welcome to HLB, you must be Mary and Tom." I memorize all the first names of our arriving guests and most people are blown away by the effort to do so. If we have multiple check ins, the first ones to arrive might get a little humor like me adding a "you must be Mary and Tom?" with a little laugh at the end.
I then extend my hand and give an average strength handshake but no other touching of like their shoulder or anything that could be misconstrued as "too friendly"
I usually will ask how the flight was, or how their trip was going so far. With that, I'm also gauging their fatigue level, first impressions of the place, etc. If they respond like 95% of folks do with equal friendliness, I just know the next three days are going to be a dream. I can count on one hand where the greeting dynamic was wrong or we had a Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde on our hands.
Truly troublesome guests have nearly always had bad body language and tone the second they got out of the car. Its like a hot, foul wind blowing against me.
Again to qualify the frequency, in really rare cases, I'll get this really limp, extraordinarily weak handshake and usually not much eye contact from one of the two or in even rarer cases both. The latter seems to happen more during the height of the busy season and its revealed somehow during their stay that these folks had to "settle" for our place because all the downtown B&Bs were already full.
No offense usually taken as we've made many a convert of the "downtown only" type guest over the years.
I wouldn't describe it as an already disgruntled or unhappy guest, but occasionally we get a couple who its obvious one really pushed the choice of our place on the other and the other is kind of along for the ride so to speak. Or the above described scenario and the "squisher" has had their original desires not met and its all uphill for us to overcome their displeasure and not so hidden desire to be at their first choice.
Or could just be really shy, lack some social skills, a germophobe or the person is used to the impersonality of hotels.
I don't know, just kind of bored today and throwing stuff at the walls to see what sticks.
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Tim@HLB
Comments
YES...greeting folks by their first name and giving a "welcome to XXX Inn" goes a long way toward making guests comfortable and I think it starts things out on the right foot.
As for the squishy handshakers...I guess I always preferred to think that they were just shy, or had never stayed at a B&B before or maybe just not used to someone wanting offering to shake their hand. It seems the young couples are always suprised by it....and likely suprised that every other words out of my mouth are NOT "you guys".....bbbbrrrr I hate that.
I give a good firm handshake, pretending all along that I never even noticed that I was kind of grossed out that their hand felt like a seal's slimy flipper.
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The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. ~Author Unknown
I rarely know who the folks are getting out of the car until they've come to the door and told me. I don't shake hands. Partly because the PO's were really touchy feely (two handed handshakes, overly inquisitive without really caring, back slapping) and I didn't like being greeted that way. It felt like 'too much' for someone I didn't know. And because it felt insincere, I decided to not adopt that method of greeting. It's usually just a 'Hi, welcome, come on in,' sort of greeting. Of course, if they are repeats I'll open the door and yell out to them.
However, I have had the limpid handshakers when they leave. I think it could be they were never taught how to shake hands (that's mostly women) or they don't want to hurt me (that's mostly guys).
Guests who just arrived hugged me. We really like each other and we're really glad to see the other is still alive (they're on the older side and my hubs is always breaking some body part or in the hospital for something else). So seeing each other every year is a joy.
Otherwise, I'm kinda shy around new people and prefer to not get too close until I know them better, thus the lack of handshaking. If a guest offers their hand first, I will shake, of course!
So, that's my story...
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The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words being there, written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible. -Vladimir Nabokov
I shake everyone's hand, arriving, and departing when we say thank you to them. Strong, firm they have no choice but to grasp back. I am one of those who believes much can be told by a person's hand shake or lack thereof. Shy or not, doesn't matter I initiate it.
When I see DH shake hands and smile at check in it blesses my heart. Guests respond to that immediately and cheer up after their long day driving and sight seeing. Guests who left today said to me "Your husband seems like a pretty neat guy, working full time and working here after work and still takes time to say hello"
Little do they know I force him to or he would never go out there. Prompt him, that is a better word. But that is a story for another thread...
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"What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds." Will Rogers
Also...see I have much to say on this subject, there IS a divide between North and South on this one. Small town vs big city. West Coast vs East.
Seriousely. A southerner always shakes hands, kids, ladies, all of them. Scroungey lookin' covered in red dirt - missin' teef, they shake your hand after wiping theirs on their overalls first.
My sister lives in Europe, so they have to KISS you, people they know- Kiss, People they don't know - Kiss. Kiss Kiss Kiss and a fake little shoulder embrace type hug. No bear hugs.
Also...see I have much to say on this subject, there IS a divide between North and South on this one. Small town vs big city. West Coast vs East.
Seriousely. A southerner always shakes hands, kids, ladies, all of them. Scroungey lookin' covered in red dirt - missin' teef, they shake your hand after wiping theirs on their overalls first.
My sister lives in Europe, so they have to KISS you, people they know- Kiss, People they don't know - Kiss. Kiss Kiss Kiss and a fake little shoulder embrace type hug. No bear hugs.
Yeah, so I guess I live where I should...of course there are very friendly people in New England, but that's not what we're known for (as our Southern guests will tell us in shocked voices, 'Y'all are so niiice,' like they thought we'd bite them or something!)
Eh-yep!
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Happy in my Hills
You are right about the southerners. I love them. We had folks from Georgia stay with us and the mother scolded her 15 yr. old son when he said "Thank you" to me.
He apparently was supposed to say "Thank you ma'am". They are so nice.
My sister lives in Europe, so they have to KISS you, people they know- Kiss, People they don't know - Kiss. Kiss Kiss Kiss and a fake little shoulder embrace type hug. No bear hugs.
There is also a divide between North and South in Europe about the kissing. Try to kiss someone from Norway, Sweden or Germany. Normally it will not happen especially with people you don't know.
I would bet your Sister is living in France or more South. There it's more common to Kiss.
Oh, of course there is one time in Germany during Carnival where everybody kisses everybody but only in the region of cologne where they really go mad during Carnival.
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Everything we encounter leaves traces behind. Everything contributes imperceptibly to our education.
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Oh, of course there is one time in Germany during Carnival where everybody kisses everybody but only in the region of cologne where they really go mad during Carnival.
Ah are you speaking of Fashing? I can't spell it - it's the week of festival and anything goes? When my parents were first in Germany, my father forgot to explain Fashing to my mother. She was in for a suprise....!
Riki
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Riki Goodell
Arcady Vineyard Bed & Breakfast
Arcady Vineyard Wine Tours
www.arcadyvineyard.com
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Gotcha, yes it´s Fasching. You nearly spellt it right. Chapeau.I just call it the “fifth season of the year”. Your MOther really must got traumatized.
Gotcha, yes it´s Fasching. You nearly spellt it right. Chapeau.I just call it the “fifth season of the year”. Your MOther really must got traumatized.
Well not traumatized, she had a good sense of humor. But she was very pretty and my father I know had had a few beers and he tossed her in the back seat of the car with a friend that he was driving home, with another friend up front, and she was very surpised at how friendly the fellow sitting next to her was!
Riki
hehe, that's not so where I come from. I wonder which part of Europe we're talkin' about here
I make it a point to know my guests names before they arrive and will greet them in that manner. Some times, when more than 1 party checks in, that can get comical as I am trying to guess which ones these people may be. It breaks the ice and gets the conversation going.
I love meeting new people, so for me it is always exciting to see someone driving in. Of course you can imagine that after meeting hundreds during the summer there comes a time in the fall where I want to slam the door in their faces (well, maybe not that bad but you know what I mean)
Right now I have the "house" full with people that have been with me quite a few times before. They all get hugs and we enjoy a chat in the mornings
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I start out with "Hello Folks! I'm Susie"...with 9 check-ins possible on any given day I could never remember first names (wish I could) but am really good for some odd reason at remembering where they are coming in from once I know which room they are staying in. Our favorite is when we say "Hi, I'm Susie or Johnny" and they just stand there and look at you. AND YOU ARE??? Sometimes it's like pulling teeth.
I also give everyone the right to be shy or a little nervous at check-in, you never know what you're walking into. But it really bugs me when they are still shy or awkward at their third breakfast or on their way out the door...everything about our place is laid back and friendly, shy is one thing but sometimes it's like get a personality already!
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If you cooked any more slowly, you wouldn't need an egg timer, you'd need an egg calendar ~ Stewie Griffin
I start out with "Hello Folks! I'm Susie"...with 9 check-ins possible on any given day I could never remember first names (wish I could)
I have got to remember to introduce myself. 5 years and I still don't do that every time.
I start out with "Hello Folks! I'm Susie"...with 9 check-ins possible on any given day I could never remember first names (wish I could)
I have got to remember to introduce myself. 5 years and I still don't do that every time.
Just remember that your name is Bree. It could get quite awkward if you introduce yourself as Susie.
On second thought, try it the other way THAT could be interesting!
Yeah, nine in one day would certainly give the remaining grey matter left in my skull a challenge. I think having just our four rooms may have been an unforeseen blessing in disguise.
Way too crazy of a time my first three decades on the planet and the others I visited during those wild days. LOL
Not that I fixate on the name thing, but I try to do a little detective work as I'm walking out to greet folks. If I have multiple arrivals and some are driving their own cars, I scope the license plate and narrow the odds on getting their names right. If its a rental and I know which folks flew in, better odds of being right in my favor.
The much better half ( sorry, I just can't bring myself to use her preferred "her royal highness" here ) and I talk about things alot between ourselves.
While never expecting everybody to absolutely fall in love with us, a modicum of camaraderie above just a tortured "morning" and the breakfast order without anything else is more appreciated by us than even getting gratuities sometimes. This really is a labor of love for us, but we're not out to turn the world into a kumbayah, hippie lovefest if folks just aren't into us for their weekend away from home.
They all get everything advertised. Polite, friendly, respectful, kind service with a sincere smile, a spotless room every single day while here, all the goodies in equal amounts to everybody else, and no forced interaction or attitude from us.
We've always felt like there are the guests who just help us pay the bills and nothing more, there are the ones a notch or two above that mutual affection wise, there are the ones we wish would never leave and there are just a few we wish had never come.
This topic category of guests fits in there somewhere near the bill payers.
What throws us for a loop and why I even started the topic is when one of the two is gushing over us, the place and the praise and camaraderie is to the ceiling while the other acts like we killed his or her cat or something.
This is quite the little dance we all do isn't it?
Back to today's guests...she walks in the door, gives me a big hug and says, 'Where's the cookies?' and heads for the guest area. Her husband is a little slower but shows up a few minutes later, hugs me and says, 'Hi, how are you, where's the cookies?' It's nice when they're that comfortable. They made themselves tea, sat in the living room and we talked for an hour. When I went back out to the kitchen a little bit ago all the dishes are washed. (I forgot to put the 'Stop' sign out so they cleaned up after themselves.)
After 3 days of no one eating anything, the 2 of them cleared me out.
Tomorrow morning they will have breakfast around 9:30, usually later. There are only a couple of guests who are 'allowed' to do this. They will linger, read the NYT, do the puzzles (or better still, give the puzzles to me) and then head out for the day around 11. They'll talk about a million different things, all of them interesting. They've led wonderful lives and they're very warm people. Buckets of money, but you'd never know it at first. They know my kids' names, ask after the g-kids and send me stuff out of the blue during the year.
However, when we are really busy in the summer, I can serve breakfast to complete strangers. If I don't check them in, I have no idea who they are. They come and go like ships in the night. If they have a problem, I have to ask what room they are in. (Or, if I know enough of the other guests, I guess which room they're in.) It can be weird in the summer. Because of our location we have a LOT of one night stays.
I've had some of them come back a week later and, yeah, they LOOK familiar, but I couldn't tell you why.
Now I'm disillusioned. I thought that's what B&Bs were supposed to be.
Tim,
Perhaps your guests just need a few minutes to unwind in the car when they first arrive. Maybe they are not prepared to be immediately met by you and feel a bit overwhelmed by your prompt attention, especially after a long drive or plane trip.
We shake hands upon arrival and always hug upon departure, unless it's a returning guest and then we always hug when they arrive.
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“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou
I should have seen this one coming. Sorry for not having every "i" dotted and "t" crossed.
I don't run out to the car while its running or the wheels are still spinning.
I'm in the reception room at my desk usually catching up on emails, trying to be as clear as possible with folks here, paying bills, etc. when they pull in.
Sometimes, I'm even folding laundry or ironing and can hear the tires on the gravel as they pull in the drive, or I'm unloading the dishwasher, setting the dining room tables if its after 6:00pm, or any of the other dozen or so chores that make up my afternoons and early evenings.
TMI, but sometimes I even go take a dump during our check out hours, and try to listen for car doors, so I can hurry.
When I see the car doors open, both people's feet hit the ground and them looking around like "WTF is our host?" or "Is this the place?" I calmly and casually walk out of the house and approach them.
I installed a driveway alarm to allow me to greet my guests at the front door. Sometimes it's a race to see who gets there first, but I win about 98% of the time. Before the alarm, I felt like I spent most of my time looking out to the parking area for arrivals.
Six years later, I finally installed a wireless doorbell, because before, people would hit the door running, rattle the knob and then try to peer in....not even a knock or a twist of the old turnkey doorbell. I'm always shocked at the number of people who try the door before ringing the doorbell.
Once they're in and I'm giving the grand tour, I explain that I like to keep the front door locked...because if I don't, lookie-lous, people looking for directions, salespeople, etc will walk right in if you let them. They always say "OMG, really"? As if they hadn't just tried to do the same thing!
People crack me up.
TMI, but sometimes I even go take a dump during our check out hours, and try to listen for car doors, so I can hurry.
Well now you've just hit on the all-time best way to get someone to arrive that you've been waiting and waiting for...just drop your pants and have a seat and DING DONG, there goes the doorbell! Murphy's law at its best...
Oh for sure. If unsure of a guest's arrival time or if we have plans we're crossing our fingers to still do, I have two sure fire ways of getting a guests to arrive.
Go do a number 2 or pick up the phone and call a long distance friend or relative to catch up.
OR sit down to eat lunch/dinner. Works like a charm!
For me it is run to the grocery. Huff, huff, huff
OR try to slip in a shower in order to freshen up. Never fails.
Unrelated to this topic but maybe if every B&B in the world changed its name to Murphy's Law Inn, we could compete with the corporate hotel world better. LOL
I try not to shake hands. I've had my hand hurt too many times by some guy who gives it a good squeeze.
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Wendy
Wilp Gybuu (Wolf House) Bed and Breakfast
guess i'm a cold, new england fish !! ~~ i didn't shake my guests' hands upon arrival unless they offered theirs, which wasn't often. doesn't mean i didn't smile a lot and give them what to me was a warm welcome .... but i didn't bite ... not on their first visit!
Your not alone. I don't do it either. My reason is pure practical necessity. I am a sole proprietor. I can not afford to be sick, so to avoid unnecessary germs I don't make a point of shaking hands with everybody who comes through the door. I am perfectly friendly however, just not overly demonstrative. I do have a winning smile and a welcoming personality.
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Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.
guess i'm a cold, new england fish !! ~~ i didn't shake my guests' hands upon arrival unless they offered theirs, which wasn't often. doesn't mean i didn't smile a lot and give them what to me was a warm welcome .... but i didn't bite ... not on their first visit!
Me, too. (cold NE fish)
But I was thinking about the whole greeting at the car because it IS a completely different model from the one I practice. And because I look at everything from my own point of view, I realized I would not want someone greeting me at the car, unless their entire reason was to carry the bags. After a long drive, probably spent arguing with hubs about the last wrong turn, and I'm hungry and out of sorts anyway, having to suddenly be friendly to a complete stranger would make me uncomfortable. I'd like to stretch, look around, get my bearings, work the kinks out but not immediately talk to someone. That walk from the car to the door is a great calmer. Like my kids walking home from school instead of taking the bus. Time to adjust to new surroundings and shake off the stress of the drive.
So, that's how I would look at it.
As long as the innkeepers answered the door with a smile, I wouldn't need them to greet me at my car.
We greet from wherever we are at the moment. Door, car, trotting up from the vineyards, outside weeding. We aren't proud! They are touched, I have found, when I greet them with "Welcome to your birthday weekend at Arcady!" (They forget I have a menu they select to tell me what their reason for coming is - getaway, birthday, anniversary etc.)
Riki
God, some of you folks are so literal and prone to micromanage everything someone besides yourself posts here.
I try to allow for nuance, some generalization on other members part and will quote your stuff if its an exact point you've made that I'm trying to respond to.
Can't you afford me and others the same consideration?
I never asked anybody to do it my way or approve or disapprove of my way, just comment on if you get an occasional "squishy handshake" or not and what you might think it means.
Just like I explained to CountryGirl, some days I'm not even out the front door and folks have worked their way to the house. I keep getting this image now of some of you picturing me or the other folks who proactively greet guests running out out of our front doors ready to tackle people as if we were carjackers or something.
"I realized I would not want someone greeting me at the car, unless their entire reason was to carry the bag"
You don't like it when guests only view you as subservient to them and they only care about their own needs and wants, but you'll do the same thing to another innkeeper?
I'm not a bellboy who will silently and subserviently grab your luggage and take it to your room then put the tip hand out. I'm your host coming to greet you and assist you.
How dark is it in front of your house? Are there street lights right in front?
Our place is in the country and despite having porch lights, path lights and a motion detector spot light illuminating the parking area when folks drive in, its frickin' dark. Most of our guests are coming from big cities where that level of general darkness is very unfamiliar to them. The overwhelming majority seem to really appreciate this friendly voice approaching with both a warm welcome, a flashlight and an offer to carry luggage.
"After a long drive, probably spent arguing with hubs about the last wrong turn, and I'm hungry and out of sorts anyway, having to suddenly be friendly to a complete stranger would make me uncomfortable."
Well, we must be much luckier than we think about the quality of our guests. The vast majority of our guests don't show up looking like they been through a ten round fight, have forded swollen streams, struggled gainst great odds to arrive safely, etc. Most by even first impressions appear to be as relaxed, as enthusiastic to be here as we are to have them and energized at the prospect of a wonderful stay at a place they've looked forward to coming to for months.
We're not complete strangers to most guests. The overwhelming majority have talked with us on the phone, through emails, read our little bio on our website, read reviews about us, have gotten their friends and family's "vetting" of us before they booked, etc.
I think part of that may be related to the arrangement of your inn. You would be coming out of and walking them to the same place you came from. I think Tim mentioned he has separate quarters on the property. We have separate quarters too so most of the time I am coming out of my quarters to meet guests in the parking area and walk them to their cabin. Otherwise it is not completely clear to them where they should go.
That being said, I can tell that most of the time people are happy to have some guidance to orient them and get them settled. On some occaisions though there are times when I can tell the people were just in the middle of a travel squabble or some other little thing that could have used more time to settle out...but it wouldn't have helped them settle if I didn't come out..they'd just be ticked over not quite knowing where to go.
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Inngenious Bed and Breakfast Website Design Advice
"I think Tim mentioned he has separate quarters on the property. We have separate quarters too so most of the time I am coming out of my quarters to meet guests in the parking area and walk them to their cabin."
This is true and the main house blocks our view of the parking area. The renovated barn we live in is about 300' from the parking area, so if its after hours like many check-ins are, I can't really ambush people like the image being conjured by a few here.
Unless I'm really quiet about sneaking up on them. LOL
Actually, talk about putting people on edge. I make sure they know I'm coming which is another reason that even during daylight hours, I don't approach the parking area until I see two sets of feet come out of the car doors.
"Otherwise it is not completely clear to them where they should go."
Especially at say 10:30, 11pm or even later and its pitch black out to big city folk. We country types develop good night vision, urbanites are lost once away from the mercury vapor street lights.
"That being said, I can tell that most of the time people are happy to have some guidance to orient them and get them settled."
That is one of our primary jobs as hosts and innkeepers isn't it? At least that's what the Dummies Guide for being a Good Innkeeper told me.
guess i'm a cold, new england fish !! ~~ i didn't shake my guests' hands upon arrival unless they offered theirs, which wasn't often. doesn't mean i didn't smile a lot and give them what to me was a warm welcome .... but i didn't bite ... not on their first visit!
Me, too. (cold NE fish)
But I was thinking about the whole greeting at the car because it IS a completely different model from the one I practice. And because I look at everything from my own point of view, I realized I would not want someone greeting me at the car, unless their entire reason was to carry the bags. After a long drive, probably spent arguing with hubs about the last wrong turn, and I'm hungry and out of sorts anyway, having to suddenly be friendly to a complete stranger would make me uncomfortable. I'd like to stretch, look around, get my bearings, work the kinks out but not immediately talk to someone. That walk from the car to the door is a great calmer. Like my kids walking home from school instead of taking the bus. Time to adjust to new surroundings and shake off the stress of the drive.
So, that's how I would look at it.
As long as the innkeepers answered the door with a smile, I wouldn't need them to greet me at my car.
We used to live on acreage and we always greeted folks at their car - just to give them their bearings. I think if you have a paved parking lot with a front door entrance it is entirely different situation. We also walked people to their car. I will always remember someone we met and had dinner with who stood in their doorway and said goodbye and shut the door. I was completely put off, lack of hospitality to the max. They could have kicked us off the stoop, and it would have been the same thing. I still walk guests out... I never wave good bye and they let themselves out. Yes, even with dishes and check out and all that is going on, the other guests can and do wait, each one gets my attention.
Likewise if I am emptying the trash or going to my car or out of it and guests arrive they will be greeted at the car, I won't act like I don't know who they are or what they are here for. I have stayed at BnB's and later saw the same person and it WAS the host! What the heck?
Interesting topic. What about those who repel from shaking your hand? They are so unfamiliar with common manners that they back up like you are trying to grab them or something!
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"Room service? Send up a larger room." Groucho Marx
Yup, I am missing the hospitality gene. I bet at least 25% of the guests here leave without even seeing us to say goodbye. I try to listen for them so I can thank them before they go, but they'll load up the car, go shopping and then come back and drop the keys off and disappear. Even if I'm standing right in the kitchen they will drop the keys on the desk and without a backwards glance walk out the door.
Then again, a lot of them leave in the middle of breakfast and they don't even say goodbye or thank you to the guest who gets up from the table to hold the door open for them as they cart 15 suitcases thru the dining room. So it's probably not me at that point, it's them. They just needed a place to stop for the night.
And yet, I just talked to someone looking for a place for 2 adults & 2 kids and they have no baby gear. Why are they traveling with no gear? Anyway, I directed them to another B&B that has all that stuff, plus room for 4 in one room. Then I directed them to the laundromat. And then, last question as I'm trying to get the cookies out of the oven is, 'Where's the playground?' which I also answered.
Then again, a lot of them leave in the middle of breakfast and they don't even say goodbye or thank you to the guest who gets up from the table to hold the door open for them as they cart 15 suitcases thru the dining room. So it's probably not me at that point, it's them. They just needed a place to stop for the night.
Happened to me jsut this past week, two couples at the table I go to clear the main plates and the one fellow stands right up and nearly knocks heads with me, gee can you not at least let me remove your plate - what's the hurry murry! No manners whatsoever, I was taken aback by it (nearly floored!) That was the first time anyone has done that. Feel free to stand up AFTER your plate in my hand it out of range!
that's one of the reasons i prefer b&b's to hotels ~~ always different! different innkeeping styles, too.
SS is exactly right. Most guests get a feel for the kind of Inn you are by the time they halfway through your website. I've found that people that arrive here are happy to shake hands...AND it seems to immediately put the nervous ones at ease, especially since they have already read about the DH and myself, and even the dogs before coming....many of them greet me by MY first name and ask to meet the dogs by THEIR first names.
My guess is that those of you who don't shake hands or introduce yourselves are likely attracting guests that feel comfortable with that without even knowing it, just by virtue of how you present yourself on the website. Not knowing how most of you are, or having had the privelege of seeing your websites, this is just an educated guess. I could be wrong, but I bet you don't get any comments about being a "Cold NE Fish" or anything of the type. You mostly attract guests like yourselves...for the most part, but not always.
SS is exactly right. Most guests get a feel for the kind of Inn you are by the time they halfway through your website. I've found that people that arrive here are happy to shake hands...AND it seems to immediately put the nervous ones at ease, especially since they have already read about the DH and myself, and even the dogs before coming....many of them greet me by MY first name and ask to meet the dogs by THEIR first names.
My guess is that those of you who don't shake hands or introduce yourselves are likely attracting guests that feel comfortable with that without even knowing it, just by virtue of how you present yourself on the website. Not knowing how most of you are, or having had the privelege of seeing your websites, this is just an educated guess. I could be wrong, but I bet you don't get any comments about being a "Cold NE Fish" or anything of the type. You mostly attract guests like yourselves...for the most part, but not always.
Not knowing how most of you are, or having had the privelege of seeing your websites, this is just an educated guess.
A very salient point for so many of the topics discussed here.
hmmm ... how is my post that i wrote before tim's now after his?
as i said, and i'll repeat, i'm happy to encounter different kinds of innkeepers. i don't want to manage anyone else's place or tell them how to run it. your style is your style. that's what makes b&b's fun for me.
I'm not sure if it depends on when someone else posts, or if in reply to a certain post, or if you hit reply or quote.
I wasn't responding to your post and found your responses to be perfectly fitting, obviously spoken from great experience and from a position of a person who shared the "innkeepeing is a labor of love" philosophy so many of us subscribe to.
Thanks.
I hate little, wimpy handshakes! It makes me feel like the person is afraid to touch me!
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Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out...but i can usually shut the b**ch up with cookies!
forgot to mention, that there is a limp 'dead fish' handshake that i've received and i don't know why some folks do that. maybe they were not taught how to shake hands? or they don't instinctively know how? i have worked with my special needs stepson on this ...
also, i think it was bree who mentioned the 'bone crusher' i actually said to a man who did that '' are you TRYING to hurt my hand? '' before literally pulling my hand out of his grasp because he did hurt my hand and i didn't like it one bit! this was not a guest, was someone i met at a party. i figured he was trying to show how macho he is .... not cool!!
forgot to mention, that there is a limp 'dead fish' handshake that i've received and i don't know why some folks do that. maybe they were not taught how to shake hands? or they don't instinctively know how? i have worked with my special needs stepson on this ...
also, i think it was bree who mentioned the 'bone crusher' i actually said to a man who did that '' are you TRYING to hurt my hand? '' before literally pulling my hand out of his grasp because he did hurt my hand and i didn't like it one bit! i figured he was trying to show how macho he is .... not cool!!
The "why" was the reason for starting the topic to begin with. We've had some very illuminating and very educational responses that I've learned a tremendous amount from. Thanks to everyone.
Some of our male guests from that country to the Southeast of NM whose name starts with a T and has five letters in it, are very strong, vigorous handshakers. Good back patters too. LOL
Possibly a regional thing because they are also incredibly well-mannered. Good upbringings.
I'm coming in late on this one....
And I have to say that I'm "all of the above."
Sometimes I meet them at their car, sometimes I wait til they ring the bell (and yes, sometimes they try first and then ring), sometimes I wait til I see them approaching the door and open it before they can ring. Heck, a couple of days ago multi-night guests let in the checking-in guests then called me to tell me they'd done so. I told them I was on my way, and thanks. Later we joked that they should have gone ahead with "the tour" and showed them how to use the door!
Usually I say, "Hi, I'm Kathy." They can tell me their names, or not, but I figure it's easy for them to forget mine. It's amazing how many make a sincere effort to learn and remember the ds5x2's names. Anyway, most of them then tell me their names as well, or I might say, "and you're so-and-so." Again, like Tim, four rooms, easier for me to do. (But not so easy when I have a full house!)
When I say "Hi, I'm Kathy," I usually stick out my hand and shake hands all around. But not always.... If their hands are full, or I dunno, for whatever reason sometimes the shake doesn't happen. Hugs don't usually happen on check-in, although they do sometimes with repeat guests. Or huggy guests. (But definitely NOT with business guests!) If they're hispanic or similar culture, we could do the kissy thing.
Sometimes I run their money... or not. (If they're a one night stay they only need to sign their slip anyway, and I usually remember that.) We settle what time is breakfast, do the tour, show the room. Sometimes they get the dinner spiel. Sometimes we get chatting right away and check in takes a while. Sometimes their check in takes 5 minutes and I don't see them again until breakfast.
It's all good!
=)
Kk.
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College House Bed and Breakfast, Ashland, OH
Yes Coming in late as well and all of the above too! It all seems so situational anyway. Lots of kissing in Hawaii and the occasional touching noses while taking in a breath (traditional greeting). Often hugging. Having said that, we do have a rule that we follow 99.9% of the time. We greet every guest from the lanai (porch) as they are getting out of their car. We often greet them this way upon their return from an outing. We have a buzzer that alerts us that someone is driving up the drive. I only go down to help with luggage if there no one in the group is hale enough.
I do not think there is more than a handful of guests that have left Kalaekilohana without "we'll be waving- it's what we do". We wave until they have made it down the long drive and onto the road and they have driven out of sight. Our return guests look forward to it. Our new guests almost always chuckle or smile that we would do this. We even had one family that had a special wave they use when they leave the family house- it was a riot. The practical side is that it gives us a moment, no matter how busy, to reflect upon something nice about our departing guest. We almost always say something like, "They sure enjoyed the coffee", or " That was a nice visit", or "They were a lot of fun"
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Aloha
I think that's simply fabulous! I wish I had a long driveway so I could do that, too!
We do, often, wave them off, since the ds5x2 are big into goodbyes...
=)
Kk.