ring - ring
Hello, ____ ____ Bed and Breakfast.
Hi! do you rent jet skis?
Excuse me?
Do you rent out jet skis?
Ma 'am, I'm sorry, but do you know there isn't any place to use a jet ski here in ___________?
click
Some of you know this, but for those of you who don't, our b&b is in the desert southwest, and the nearest lake is pretty far away.
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Rolling with the punches is making me rounder and rounder.
a man called today and asked if we are affiliated with Hilton.
I asked him "are you looking for bad service or something?" That broke the ice and made him laugh, then I told him only if my husband is named Hilton. 
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Kindness not only makes the coffee. Kindness says good morning.
Answering machine message.
"Hello I am on your website and it says that there is only a two night minimum on holiday or event weekends, or October. I tried to book a room for this weekend for one night and a message came up in red saying there is a two night minimum! I only want one night this weekend"
We call them back "This weekend is labor day weekend, it is a holiday weekend."
He says "Well I only want one night, I don't want an event weekend."
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!
What did you say next?
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"You can't blame gravity for falling in love." ~ Albert Einstein
Answering machine message.
"Hello I am on your website and it says that there is only a two night minimum on holiday or event weekends, or October. I tried to book a room for this weekend for one night and a message came up in red saying there is a two night minimum! I only want one night this weekend"
We call them back "This weekend is labor day weekend, it is a holiday weekend."
He says "Well I only want one night, I don't want an event weekend."
Just goes to show you that people read what they want, and how they want to read it.
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"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it." Hebrews 13:2
Remember my guests a couple of years ago who wanted one night on Columbus Day weekend and were put out when I told them it was a holiday, so 2-night min? They didn't celebrate that holiday where they lived so it shouldn't apply to them.
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Spare me the perky.
Ha Ha...my weirdest was at one of my very first hotel jobs. Hotel tower overlooks a small bay of Lake Michigan. Guest asked me if the upper level rooms are best for whale watching....
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The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue and gives kisses freely and enthusiastically to everyone!
Oh that is just great.
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“What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.” Pericles
how bout: Can my band come in and use shower and rooms? We'll pay for one nights stay?
Yea, sure ya bet cha...NO! bands and lolts of people equal...TROUBLE.
Well, don't think I'd let them use the showers. No one gets to use the facilities who is not staying overnight.
But I have to say that my experience with bands is quite good, whatever their unconventional appearance.
The only problem is making sure they have their own entrance door for coming in late at night. But even then, the bands I've hosted have literally tiptoed in when coming home.
Despite the legends of rockstars trashing the place, bands are, in my experience, quite good guests.
Mind you we had two people from a band he had his head shaved and dressed all in black she was tattoed all over and enough metal in her face to have trouble in an air port. My mum nearly had heart failure checking them in (she doesn't think people with piercings should be allowed in customer facing positions) They were completely quiet and softly spoken discussed local history with my dad and were vegetarians so it doesn't do to assume trouble but sometimes you can just smell it. (I would say that I am tatooed and pierced myself so am a bit biased)
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Don't mess with me today or I will kill you!!!!
Maybe they were already seeing the mirage before even getting to the desert?
Considering we have no pool, no hot tub, weirder than nude is the sun bathing part, period. Similar to the jet ski rentals in the desert.
Jet skis in the desert is like "welcome to fantasy island"
Weirder than the "amatuer magician" who asked if I would tie him up so he could practice his escape trick?
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Weirder than the "amatuer magician" who asked if I would tie him up so he could practice his escape trick?
"No, but I'll tie HER up. Are gags allowed?" 
PITA solution right there. "We have an artist staying with us. Wouldn't you LOVE to help him out with his craft? Oh, be a the dear that I know you are! It's kinda like . . . posing. He'll be down . . . soon (after he checks in)."
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Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Weirder than "Do you accept monkeys?"
Surely they dialed the wrong number. Was it your 800 one?
Weirder than "Is the property fenced as we plan to sunbathe in the nude?"
Weirder than "Is the property fenced as we plan to sunbathe in the nude?"
I think that still takes the cake.
At least we had snow when people were calling here to rent snowshoes. You're right, tho, you got a live one there!
She must have thought the last earthquake brought the ocean to you. We even had a couple of little quakes here in the last couplr months - south of mr thank goodness!
