My weirdest phone call yet - in 10 years of innkeeping

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aieechihuahua's picture
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ring - ring

Hello, ____ ____ Bed and Breakfast.

Hi! do you rent jet skis?

Excuse me?

Do you rent out jet skis?

Ma 'am, I'm sorry, but do you know there isn't any place to use a jet ski here in ___________?

click

Some of you know this, but for those of you who don't, our b&b is in the desert southwest, and the nearest lake is pretty far away.

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Joey Bloggs's picture
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 a man called today and asked if we are affiliated with Hilton.  

I asked him "are you looking for bad service or something?" That broke the ice and made him laugh, then I told him only if my husband is named Hilton.  

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catlady's picture
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HUH???? What ever was he thinking?  Oh well.

Joey Bloggs's picture
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Answering machine message.

"Hello I am on your website and it says that there is only a two night minimum on holiday or event weekends, or October.  I tried to book a room for this weekend for one night and a message came up in red saying there is a two night minimum! I only want one night this weekend"

We call them back "This weekend is labor day weekend, it is a holiday weekend."

He says "Well I only want one night, I don't want an event weekend."

Samster's picture
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Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! 

What did you say next?

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copperhead's picture
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Joey Bloggs wrote:

Answering machine message.

"Hello I am on your website and it says that there is only a two night minimum on holiday or event weekends, or October.  I tried to book a room for this weekend for one night and a message came up in red saying there is a two night minimum! I only want one night this weekend"

We call them back "This weekend is labor day weekend, it is a holiday weekend."

He says "Well I only want one night, I don't want an event weekend."

Just goes to show you that people read what they want, and how they want to read it. 

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Morticia's picture
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Remember my guests a couple of years ago who wanted one night on Columbus Day weekend and were put out when I told them it was a holiday, so 2-night min? They didn't celebrate that holiday where they lived so it shouldn't apply to them.

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Samster's picture
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They do NOT celebrate Columbus Day here!!  lol!

catlady's picture
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CAN YOU SAY DUH???

wendydk's picture
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Ha Ha...my weirdest was at one of my very first hotel jobs.  Hotel tower overlooks a small bay of Lake Michigan.  Guest asked me if the upper level rooms are best for whale watching....

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Innkeeper To Go's picture
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 Oh that is just great.

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Breakfast Diva's picture
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LOL Those lake whales are really an endangered species!

birdwatcher's picture
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 how bout: Can my band come in and use shower and rooms? We'll pay for one nights stay?

Yea, sure ya bet cha...NO! bands and lolts of people equal...TROUBLE.

Innkeeper To Go's picture
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Well, don't think I'd let them use the showers.  No one gets to use the facilities who is not staying overnight.

But I have to say that my experience with bands is quite good, whatever their unconventional appearance.

The only problem is making sure they have their own entrance door for coming in late at night.  But even then, the bands I've hosted have literally tiptoed in when coming home.

Despite the legends of rockstars trashing the place, bands are, in my experience, quite good guests.

camberleyhotelharrogate@yahoo.co.uk's picture
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Mind you we had two people from a band he had his head shaved and dressed all in black she was tattoed all over and enough metal in her face to have trouble in an air port. My mum nearly had heart failure checking them in (she doesn't think people with piercings should be allowed in customer facing positions) They were completely quiet and softly spoken discussed local history with my dad and were vegetarians so it doesn't do to assume trouble but sometimes you can just smell it. (I would say that I am tatooed and pierced myself so am a bit biased)

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copperhead's picture
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Maybe they were already seeing the mirage before even getting to the desert?  

Joey Bloggs's picture
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Considering we have no pool, no hot tub, weirder than nude is the sun bathing part, period.  Similar to the jet ski rentals in the desert. 

Jet skis in the desert is like "welcome to fantasy island"

gillumhouse's picture
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Weirder than the "amatuer magician" who asked if I would tie him up so he could practice his escape trick?

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IronGate's picture
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gillumhouse wrote:

Weirder than the "amatuer magician" who asked if I would tie him up so he could practice his escape trick?

"No, but I'll tie HER up. Are gags allowed?"  Eye-wink

PITA solution right there. "We have an artist staying with us. Wouldn't you LOVE to help him out with his craft? Oh, be a the dear that I know you are!  It's kinda like . . . posing.  He'll be down . . . soon (after he checks in)."

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Joey Bloggs's picture
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Weirder than "Do you accept monkeys?" 

catlady's picture
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05/22/2008

Surely they dialed the wrong number. Was it your 800 one?

Joey Bloggs's picture
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Weirder than "Is the property fenced as we plan to sunbathe in the nude?" 

Innkeeper To Go's picture
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Joey Bloggs wrote:

Weirder than "Is the property fenced as we plan to sunbathe in the nude?" 

I think that still takes the cake.

copperhead's picture
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Joey Bloggs wrote:

Weirder than "Is the property fenced as we plan to sunbathe in the nude?" 

mine didn't even ask about a fence! 

Morticia's picture
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05/22/2008

At least we had snow when people were calling here to rent snowshoes. You're right, tho, you got a live one there!

gillumhouse's picture
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05/22/2008

She must have thought the last earthquake brought the ocean to you. We even had a couple of little quakes here in the last couplr months - south of mr thank goodness!

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