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birdwatcher

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I am about to go balistic. So im coming here to go balistic instead.
Here it goes. OK-as you all know we got this job early May-been ok so far except for today. I did not do the reservations for this wedding that the house next door (Solomon House) is having today. So it was already done before we took the job.
Here is the problem: Apparently the Director told the mob (mother of bride) that the bride and maid of honor can get ready at the Inn so they reserved 4 rooms. Now we have 8 rooms all together. There are three rooms of guests that checked in last night for a class reunion and one more room checked in today. Now they have warned them that we do have other guests here at the Inn and that they really have to watch the noise level ect...now they also have kids running around, in and out the door, also setting up outside for the wedding. Have wedding flowers in the dinning room. Now I have to deal with all these people for this wedding and have to fiercly appologize to the other guests either in the morning or tonight, if they decide to stay.
It is my job, but I did not take this reservation for the Inn and the wedding fiasco. If it where me I would insist that any wedding party has to rent the WHOLE INN for no less than two days. Now I have to play police to this party that I had nothing to do with. I brought this up to the director and she said (now this person has no hospitality experience) that she has had another wedding here before and that problem never arose...but it has arisen now! She said she will talk to them, but she is not at the INN hearing the noise and the running of the kids up and down the stairs....I will be uterly embarrassed when I see my guests that have been here since last night.
How do you think I should handle this after the nightmare is over? I think I would insist that if there is another wedding event next door that if they want the Inn THEY GET THE WHOLE INN not just some rooms, they either get the whole Inn or no Inn...don't like this one bit!
Thanks for letting me vent. And its really hard when its not your Inn and you did not make the decision prior to this and really don't have much say so at this very moment, but let me tell you something...I WILL HAVE A SAY SO AFTER THIS!
I am praying that the guests that are here don't put a bad review in TA...cause that is not going to make the owner happy. But it was done before I got the job. It still does not make it any easier on me...
ARRGHHHHH!!!!
 

IronGate

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First, Take a deep, DEEP breath. This will pass.
The class reunion guests will probably be away at functions most of their stay. The "damage" there might be minimal. When you can, corral them together and say simply "I am so sorry. This caught me off-guard, too. It won't necessarily help you, but rest assured this will never happen again. In the meantime, can I offer you a nice dinner at XXX restaurant?" Like I said, they will probably be busy anyway.
Next, position yourself in the middle of the inn (bottom of the stairs?) where the children are running. By their inaction, the parents have delegated discipline to you, and like a teacher you have to handle it. Catch one or two of them. Let them literally run into your arms. Squat down, look them straight in the eye and calmly, quietly say, "No running. Inside voices." Do not yell at the children. DO NOT yell at the children. That will just upset the parents, and escalate a bad situation. Do you have place they can run around outside? Provide a soccer ball or football and show them where the game is to be played. (No ball? Improvise. Wad up an old towel, wrap it with duct tape and voila.) The parents and adults really do know better, but they are stressed and overwhelmed with everything else. Remove the stress of dealing with the children from them, and their stress level will go down.
Then, find the MOB and tell her that the situation is getting out of hand, and that you've done what you can but she really needs to exert more control over her party. Do not negotiate and do not bother trying to appeal to her sense of fair play by bringing the other guests into it. As far as she is concerned, nothing matters but the bride. If you make it clear that the consequences of allowing this to continue will have a dramatic and negative impact on the bride, she'll come around. Be discreet and polite but very, very firm. "This is out of control, and I will not allow it to continue. Now what do you need from me to get this under control?"
Then remember everything that happened, so you work to prevent it from happening again.
Good luck!
 

Morticia

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Not sure what you should do if there are complaints from this party, but you're right that people coming for the same event should book the whole inn. That really does include the class reunion people as well. If they all know each other, they, too, could get out of hand and 'ruin' the wedding.
 

Morticia

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First, Take a deep, DEEP breath. This will pass.
The class reunion guests will probably be away at functions most of their stay. The "damage" there might be minimal. When you can, corral them together and say simply "I am so sorry. This caught me off-guard, too. It won't necessarily help you, but rest assured this will never happen again. In the meantime, can I offer you a nice dinner at XXX restaurant?" Like I said, they will probably be busy anyway.
Next, position yourself in the middle of the inn (bottom of the stairs?) where the children are running. By their inaction, the parents have delegated discipline to you, and like a teacher you have to handle it. Catch one or two of them. Let them literally run into your arms. Squat down, look them straight in the eye and calmly, quietly say, "No running. Inside voices." Do not yell at the children. DO NOT yell at the children. That will just upset the parents, and escalate a bad situation. Do you have place they can run around outside? Provide a soccer ball or football and show them where the game is to be played. (No ball? Improvise. Wad up an old towel, wrap it with duct tape and voila.) The parents and adults really do know better, but they are stressed and overwhelmed with everything else. Remove the stress of dealing with the children from them, and their stress level will go down.
Then, find the MOB and tell her that the situation is getting out of hand, and that you've done what you can but she really needs to exert more control over her party. Do not negotiate and do not bother trying to appeal to her sense of fair play by bringing the other guests into it. As far as she is concerned, nothing matters but the bride. If you make it clear that the consequences of allowing this to continue will have a dramatic and negative impact on the bride, she'll come around. Be discreet and polite but very, very firm. "This is out of control, and I will not allow it to continue. Now what do you need from me to get this under control?"
Then remember everything that happened, so you work to prevent it from happening again.
Good luck!.
Totally agree. Kids have to stop running, but they will not because no one cares as long as they don't bother the adults in the wedding! I had to squelch 2 kids running here and my best mom voice did the trick. 'This will stop- NOW.' And it did and it stayed stopped for the next 6 days! I didn't yell, I hissed.
Never spoke to the parent because she DID NOT CARE. At all. About anything but herself.
 

birdwatcher

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So far the "talking' to that the director gave the MOB has worked. I have caught the other guests and apologized, one of the class reunion guest (no they don't know eachother) said: Im next to the honeymoon suite right? I said yes....sorry! He seemed ok with it said do you have earplugs? joking-i think?! I said no but hey if you drink enough beers at the party you won't hear a thing-joking of course.
Yes, I've been out there on and off and everytime I'm out there they just kind of look at me....and calm down..so far so good. But believe you me...next wedding they will be getting the whole Inn...period.
Taking deep breaths-very deep trying to just keep telling myself-this too shall pass..learning experience.
Apparently when they booked the place they had a caterer and a wedding coordinator-apparently now they are DOING IT ALL THEMSELVES! can you spell
S T R E SSSSSSS S
 

Morticia

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So far the "talking' to that the director gave the MOB has worked. I have caught the other guests and apologized, one of the class reunion guest (no they don't know eachother) said: Im next to the honeymoon suite right? I said yes....sorry! He seemed ok with it said do you have earplugs? joking-i think?! I said no but hey if you drink enough beers at the party you won't hear a thing-joking of course.
Yes, I've been out there on and off and everytime I'm out there they just kind of look at me....and calm down..so far so good. But believe you me...next wedding they will be getting the whole Inn...period.
Taking deep breaths-very deep trying to just keep telling myself-this too shall pass..learning experience.
Apparently when they booked the place they had a caterer and a wedding coordinator-apparently now they are DOING IT ALL THEMSELVES! can you spell
S T R E SSSSSSS S.
Just the idea that they changed everything would make me want a contract for the next wedding you host. If the caterer drops out, no wedding. If the coordinator drops out, no wedding. My guess is they got those folks to do a bunch of work (or never had them to start with) and are now 'going cheap'.
If they pulled that here, I would be required to ask them to move on. We cannot have non-professionals doing catered functions. Who is doing the drinks? The cleanup? The food prep? Making sure the food isn't sitting for hours?
 

IronGate

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LOL -- me thinks birdwatcher is a little stressed, and it's causing spasms of the finger-pressing-enter-key kind!
(BTW, BTDT
)
 

birdwatcher

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i don't know why this came out so many times..how do you delete and keep just one?
 

birdwatcher

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i dont know why its doing this over and over? did i hit the wrong button?
 

Innkeeper To Go

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birdwatcher you're totally right about renting the entire inn. Weddings really need to be an all or nothing thing in an inn of that size. There's just no other way to prevent disruption to other guests.
Just think of this as an opportunity to make a list of all the things that should be included in wedding contracts. Some things to think of:
Limits on number of total guests with access to the inn at any time, including photographers/hairdressers/wedding planners and anyone else who will be using the restrooms and other facilities of the inn.
Requiring a guest list with names of all those guests so you can realistically enforce your occupancy limits.
Security deposit sufficient to motivate compliance with the contract.
Building in enough of a facilities charge to include payment for a wedding planner. You're going to be having lots of weddings. Get your own planner to deal with all of this stuff.
 

gillumhouse

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This very subject has been a discussion on the PAII Forum today. A wedding taking advantage.
One innkeeper who does weddings said you do not make it a whole house on the contract. You make it x rooms with xx people per room for minimum of 2 nights. The x rooms is however many you have. By not referring to it as whole house, they do not get the idea that "it is just us so whatever goes". I thought this was an excellent way of putting things to CYA.
 

Morticia

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i dont know why its doing this over and over? did i hit the wrong button?.
birdwatcher said:
i dont know why its doing this over and over? did i hit the wrong button?
My guess is you may have hit the 'save' button more than once. Probably accidentally. Not to worry, you sorted it out. Just erasing all the duplicates is fine. You can't completely erase the posting, tho, so it ends up with a few of them being blank.
 

Morticia

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This very subject has been a discussion on the PAII Forum today. A wedding taking advantage.
One innkeeper who does weddings said you do not make it a whole house on the contract. You make it x rooms with xx people per room for minimum of 2 nights. The x rooms is however many you have. By not referring to it as whole house, they do not get the idea that "it is just us so whatever goes". I thought this was an excellent way of putting things to CYA..
Good way to say it. You definitely want to avoid the 'whole house' wording as that includes the use of the kitchen- in many minds!
We were very clear with our 'whole house' that we would take care of the kitchen. We cleaned the common rooms 4 times while they were here so they had 'fresh' rooms whenever they returned.
But don't expect a 'thank you' when all is said and done. There is no way to make 15 adults ALL happy. And if someone they know and love is unhappy, it's your fault.
 

birdwatcher

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Well under circumstances and everyone running around in the second floor and killing a breaker where the air conditioner died (not having the husband who is really really good at fixing stuff like that did not help) going down to basement wondering which breaker it is (open box of circuits-that needs to be uptdated) got the lights working in one parlor and hallway but no cigar on air conditioner-we are in the DELTA which the weather so far has been quite HOT-although a breeze is going. Got the director here and we proceeded to basement THREE times trying to figure out WHY the air is not working....DUH-lets try to plug in airconditioner into another plug...it works, YAY.
Got wine and poured for bride and mom and whomever wanted some (we can give one complimentary glass of wine) didn't care..HAD ONE MYSELF. Kind of got into the groove. Now I hear water running....hoping its just the toillette...don't need any BS anymore. They are all outside to begin...think this is a lesson to the other people at the even center...a wedding coordinator sounds good...NOT ME though he he he.
Don't know how many will be here ot breakfast tomorrow, I know the bride and groom...thats about it. Have not paid for their rooms yet. What in the H ll was anyone thinking when they booked this? Desperation comes to mind.
But like everyone said: its one of the things that need to be worked out and the x number or rooms sound good to me that way we don't have the same senario. God, can't you just see what I have to clean up tomorrow?!
Need more wine.....:) Took pictures for advertising...a you don't want to know...
THE BRIDE WAS STUNNING THOUGH!
Will keep you abreast of the rest of it cause it hasn't even started yet....it starts at 7PM-with reception next door. Lovely:) hope my other guests are understanding!
 

seashanty

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i read this differently ... not hosting a wedding, but having guests attending stay (and bride, etc. get ready for) the wedding hosted next door.
in any case, it's certainly preferable to have the whole house devoted to guests going to the same event, but it's not always possible. four rooms reserved by wedding people, i think i would have asked that they reserve all the rooms. but if they didn't want to, i wouldn't want to lose the four room booking. and maybe that is what motivated the 'director' to take the booking. i've had 1/2 the rooms devoted to an event and the other 1/2 were guests doing other things and it was okay. the difference to me is there weren't children running around unsupervised. that is the pits ... under any circumstances.
 

Innkeeper To Go

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Well under circumstances and everyone running around in the second floor and killing a breaker where the air conditioner died (not having the husband who is really really good at fixing stuff like that did not help) going down to basement wondering which breaker it is (open box of circuits-that needs to be uptdated) got the lights working in one parlor and hallway but no cigar on air conditioner-we are in the DELTA which the weather so far has been quite HOT-although a breeze is going. Got the director here and we proceeded to basement THREE times trying to figure out WHY the air is not working....DUH-lets try to plug in airconditioner into another plug...it works, YAY.
Got wine and poured for bride and mom and whomever wanted some (we can give one complimentary glass of wine) didn't care..HAD ONE MYSELF. Kind of got into the groove. Now I hear water running....hoping its just the toillette...don't need any BS anymore. They are all outside to begin...think this is a lesson to the other people at the even center...a wedding coordinator sounds good...NOT ME though he he he.
Don't know how many will be here ot breakfast tomorrow, I know the bride and groom...thats about it. Have not paid for their rooms yet. What in the H ll was anyone thinking when they booked this? Desperation comes to mind.
But like everyone said: its one of the things that need to be worked out and the x number or rooms sound good to me that way we don't have the same senario. God, can't you just see what I have to clean up tomorrow?!
Need more wine.....:) Took pictures for advertising...a you don't want to know...
THE BRIDE WAS STUNNING THOUGH!
Will keep you abreast of the rest of it cause it hasn't even started yet....it starts at 7PM-with reception next door. Lovely:) hope my other guests are understanding!.
birdwatcher said:
Got wine and poured for bride and mom and whomever wanted some (we can give one complimentary glass of wine) didn't care..HAD ONE MYSELF. Kind of got into the groove.
A brilliant idea.
 
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