Boundaries!

[JBloggs]

And there ya go!

In the kitchen.
Have to set the boundaries right off the bat. I just checked in these guests, less than 10 minutes ago and provided ice, glasses, sodas, cake. Yes I have PRIVATE signs for our quarters and our kitchen door is squeaky. I hear it squeak. My youngest just got home from school. I grab my cuppa and walk into the kitchen and they are in the dining room. I didn't put the chain across in time I guess, sheesh it has only been 10 minutes.
"Did you need something?" I said as I approach the first couple right up to them.
"Oh no."
"Were you just in my kitchen?" I ask.
"Oh yeah, well the last bed and breakfast we stayed at the hosts were not on the premises after hours, I see you live here. We just wanted to see the kitchen and the rest of the house." he says.
"Yes, we do and we have children and we do not allow guests in the kitchen, see the PRIVATE sign right there!?" I state clearly and firmly.
GROUPS = NO BOUNDARIES.
They are bringing is truck loads of food and stuffs, obv to make their own meals. Good luck with that, you didn't ask me about it, we have a guest microwave and guest fridge. Go at it!

 

[JBloggs]

Sorry for the typos, a bit miffed at the moment.

 

[EmptyNest]

Sorry for the typos, a bit miffed at the moment..

GRRRRRR...I am miffed right along for you ....give an inch and they take a mile!

 

[Morticia]

Sorry for the typos, a bit miffed at the moment..

Can totally understand the miffed. So, the other place had no one on site and presumably no 'private' signs, so therefore even with 'private' signs no one is around and we can go anywhere we want?
I guess it's a good thing they realized you LIVE there and stopped at the kitchen and didn't wander in to watch TV with you later on! Definitely need to put the chain on and possibly a chair up against the door with some cookie sheets loaded with spoons on it. (Hey, works for dogs that jump up on the counter!) Crash! Clatter! Sounds of retreating footsteps...
And they now know you can hear them! Hopefully there will be no 'can we borrow your...'

 

[Morticia]

A friend recently hosted a wedding that was catered. Caterer forgot certain essentials and guests wandered into the inn kitchen and were rifling around for what they needed. Friend escorted them right back out the door to the caterer. And these guests were shown what and where they had 'rented' at the inn. Made no nevermind to them.

 

[JBloggs]

I am just like my dog, good idea Mortie, cookies sheets and spoons! I mean, really, I hear the little sounds in this house that each area makes, the kitchen door opening has a unique sound that I am tuned into even over here in my office, especially when my children are home I AM "MOTHER HEN!" So what if they are a pack of oldies, still, rules apply whether you are a granny or not!!
I always have that chain across too, I just put the ice out and then the last room showed so I had to come out to the foyer from the dining room. The thing with groups is chaos reigns so you really get all turned around when they are together and your guard is off.
I am still mad.
When T gets home he is going to be even madder. I am the main innkeeper here for the most part, in this business, when he comes home from work he is OFF work (Unless it is the weekend or there is an emergency) he needs his privacy.
I am glad the kitchen was spotless (I called a complaint in to the health dept for the part time restaurant next door about garbage being left out uncovered for vermin and bugs to so I am doubly cleaning right now should they want to drop by and see us!)

 

[JBloggs]

I just got a call from one of the rooms. PITAS PITAS PITAS!!!!!!
This is what I get for going away for 2 days...revenge of the pitas.

 

[Morticia]

I am just like my dog, good idea Mortie, cookies sheets and spoons! I mean, really, I hear the little sounds in this house that each area makes, the kitchen door opening has a unique sound that I am tuned into even over here in my office, especially when my children are home I AM "MOTHER HEN!" So what if they are a pack of oldies, still, rules apply whether you are a granny or not!!
I always have that chain across too, I just put the ice out and then the last room showed so I had to come out to the foyer from the dining room. The thing with groups is chaos reigns so you really get all turned around when they are together and your guard is off.
I am still mad.
When T gets home he is going to be even madder. I am the main innkeeper here for the most part, in this business, when he comes home from work he is OFF work (Unless it is the weekend or there is an emergency) he needs his privacy.
I am glad the kitchen was spotless (I called a complaint in to the health dept for the part time restaurant next door about garbage being left out uncovered for vermin and bugs to so I am doubly cleaning right now should they want to drop by and see us!).

Hey, how many times did I hear the group of guests going into my laundry room??? (After jimmying the door!) That now has a private sign, but unless it is bolted I doubt that will slow down the worst offenders.
The lock on the hall bathroom door has worked, tho. Just have to remember to use it!

 

[gillumhouse]

It must be in the wind.... An innkeeper in NC posted on the PAII Forum that she wandered in to the kitchen in the early AM to start breakfast and almost jumped out of her skin (said she came VERY close to peeing her pants she was so startled) to find a guest cooking up a dozen (Yesss, a whole dozen abd all the sausage too) for her and her husband because they decided it was such a lovely day that they should get an early start and I knew you would not want us to go without breakfast. She was also baking ALL the biscuits that were there waiting to be served fresh-from-the-oven and I forget what else. The innkeeper's husband walked in, was also startled but quickly recovered and ordered the woman OUT OF THE KITCHEN!!! What about the breakfast - we will finish cooking it. OUT!
She was able to make a quick trip to the store - but if she had been like some, 30 miles from the store, she would have been screwed for the OTHER guests to have breakfast. She also made another batch of biscuits.
And the PRIVATE sign was in place there also.

 

[Joey Camb]

I was in the same boat I live in the basement and we have a system where we have a phone on the front desk to ring for attention as then I don't have to get up if it is just a question ie what time is breakfast. The lady using the phone needed help with the internet so I got up to help and nearly walked straight into two other guests reading the breakfast menu which is opposite my door. All the lights were off and I had shut the door to the basement which has private on it. They said oh we just wanted a look around (in the dark?) well you should have asked could have broken their necks! I was really cross that door locks and I am thinking of keeping it locked from now on as I like my little bit of privacy.

 

[JBloggs]

It must be in the wind.... An innkeeper in NC posted on the PAII Forum that she wandered in to the kitchen in the early AM to start breakfast and almost jumped out of her skin (said she came VERY close to peeing her pants she was so startled) to find a guest cooking up a dozen (Yesss, a whole dozen abd all the sausage too) for her and her husband because they decided it was such a lovely day that they should get an early start and I knew you would not want us to go without breakfast. She was also baking ALL the biscuits that were there waiting to be served fresh-from-the-oven and I forget what else. The innkeeper's husband walked in, was also startled but quickly recovered and ordered the woman OUT OF THE KITCHEN!!! What about the breakfast - we will finish cooking it. OUT!
She was able to make a quick trip to the store - but if she had been like some, 30 miles from the store, she would have been screwed for the OTHER guests to have breakfast. She also made another batch of biscuits.
And the PRIVATE sign was in place there also..

It must be in the wind.... An innkeeper in NC posted on the PAII Forum ...

GRRRRRRRR!
They called from the room to ask about a certain restaurant. The restaurant lists are on the bed and in the foyer. He said he saw one of this type food and I said, there are five of them in this town. He then said "Well I saw it as I drove past it."
Now there's a clear description.
Blowing in the wind....please give that innkeeper and her spouse my condolences and the other half of my bottle of aleve. LOL

 

[Morticia]

It must be in the wind.... An innkeeper in NC posted on the PAII Forum that she wandered in to the kitchen in the early AM to start breakfast and almost jumped out of her skin (said she came VERY close to peeing her pants she was so startled) to find a guest cooking up a dozen (Yesss, a whole dozen abd all the sausage too) for her and her husband because they decided it was such a lovely day that they should get an early start and I knew you would not want us to go without breakfast. She was also baking ALL the biscuits that were there waiting to be served fresh-from-the-oven and I forget what else. The innkeeper's husband walked in, was also startled but quickly recovered and ordered the woman OUT OF THE KITCHEN!!! What about the breakfast - we will finish cooking it. OUT!
She was able to make a quick trip to the store - but if she had been like some, 30 miles from the store, she would have been screwed for the OTHER guests to have breakfast. She also made another batch of biscuits.
And the PRIVATE sign was in place there also..

OK, I just told Gomez this one and he is ranting. He HATES this kind of behavior.
We used to have a guest ('used to' being operative here) who thought he should make his own breakfast. A couple of you know the size of my kitchen (if the fridge door is open no one gets by!) and he bustled right in, opened the fridge, grabbed the eggs and asked for a fry pan, all before either of us (now shoved up against the stove) could catch our breath. Took eggs away, told him he was a guest, that he should sit down in the dining room and breakfast would be along, in order of seating! Yeesh.

 

[One Day]

Interesting.......what % of guests do any of you have this happen.
Would also be interesting to know what demographic of people?......Such as...age group....perpetual B&B guest, casual B&B guest....Northern or Southern folk......East or West folk?

 

[Morticia]

Interesting.......what % of guests do any of you have this happen.
Would also be interesting to know what demographic of people?......Such as...age group....perpetual B&B guest, casual B&B guest....Northern or Southern folk......East or West folk?.

Interesting.......what % of guests do any of you have this happen.
Would also be interesting to know what demographic of people?......Such as...age group....perpetual B&B guest, casual B&B guest....Northern or Southern folk......East or West folk?

Which guests have limited or no boundary perception? It runs the gamut. We've had long-time guests who have never set foot in our kitchen and others who grabbed stuff out of the fridge and then asked why there was a sign on the fridge saying to not take anything. 'Who would take something out of your fridge?' while sitting there drinking milk that came out of my fridge!
Groups, tho, are where you have your most boundary issues. You do have to be very clear about what is 'theirs' to use and what is not. And then follow up on check-in and do a few 'patrols' at random times. And in that case, it matters not who they ae, how old they are, where they live. It's a pack mentality.
As to %- I have a wide-open kitchen. No doors, no locks. Just an island that sort of says 'no one beyond this point' and a small sign that says 'Guests not allowed in thek kitchen. Thank you for being respectful.' And I have had guests talking to me walk right past me, the counter & the sign, open the dishwasher and put their dirty cup in. They're being helpful.

 

[Innkeeper To Go]

GROUPS = NO BOUNDARIES.

Yep. That pretty much sums it up.

 

[One Day]

Thanks Morticia......
It would appear to be that it is that "Home" atmosphere that instigates the no boundaries attitude.
When I visited friends and family....I always cleaned up after myself......bringing dishes, cups and glasses to the kitchen........rinsing and into the dishwasher......I always felt it was the right thing to do....and felt awkward when not doing it.........I'm in someone's home.

 

[Morticia]

Thanks Morticia......
It would appear to be that it is that "Home" atmosphere that instigates the no boundaries attitude.
When I visited friends and family....I always cleaned up after myself......bringing dishes, cups and glasses to the kitchen........rinsing and into the dishwasher......I always felt it was the right thing to do....and felt awkward when not doing it.........I'm in someone's home..

That's it. They're relaxed. It LOOKS like home. So they act like it's their home. I'm HAPPY they're relaxed. Just sometimes they're too relaxed. We have set up the guest area so it has everything they need except a stove. That has usually been enough.

 

[gillumhouse]

Thanks Morticia......
It would appear to be that it is that "Home" atmosphere that instigates the no boundaries attitude.
When I visited friends and family....I always cleaned up after myself......bringing dishes, cups and glasses to the kitchen........rinsing and into the dishwasher......I always felt it was the right thing to do....and felt awkward when not doing it.........I'm in someone's home..

I cannot count the number of guests who want to help red up the table after breakfast. We tell them we appreciate the thought but DH does the dishes and he has his routine and we cannot upset his routine. That takes care of it.

 

[muirford]

Thanks Morticia......
It would appear to be that it is that "Home" atmosphere that instigates the no boundaries attitude.
When I visited friends and family....I always cleaned up after myself......bringing dishes, cups and glasses to the kitchen........rinsing and into the dishwasher......I always felt it was the right thing to do....and felt awkward when not doing it.........I'm in someone's home..

I cannot count the number of guests who want to help red up the table after breakfast. We tell them we appreciate the thought but DH does the dishes and he has his routine and we cannot upset his routine. That takes care of it.
.

I cannot count the number of guests who want to help red up the table after breakfast.

Now you know, Kathleen, you are going to have to define red up - or more commonly, redd up - for those who don't have that particular bit of Pennsylvania/Scotch heritage. I use it all the time and used to think it was PA Dutch, but it's not.
From a Word Detective column in 12/2000: "While you don't mention exactly where you grew up, if your grandmother routinely told you to "redd up" your room, there's a statistical probability that either you were living in, or your grandmother was from, Pennsylvania. "Redd up," meaning "to clear or clean up," arrived in America with immigrants from Scotland and northern England, and while Scots settled all over the eastern US, the phrase seems to be most commonly heard today, for some reason, in Pennsylvania.
The root of "redd" (which by itself means "to clear or clean") seems to be a combination of the Middle English and Scots dialectical word "redden" (meaning "to free or clear an area") with another Middle English word, "reden," meaning "to rescue or free from." The same tangle of roots gave us the word "rid," and is closely related to the word "ready." And none of this, by the way, has anything to do with the color "red.""

 

[gillumhouse]

Thanks Morticia......
It would appear to be that it is that "Home" atmosphere that instigates the no boundaries attitude.
When I visited friends and family....I always cleaned up after myself......bringing dishes, cups and glasses to the kitchen........rinsing and into the dishwasher......I always felt it was the right thing to do....and felt awkward when not doing it.........I'm in someone's home..

I cannot count the number of guests who want to help red up the table after breakfast. We tell them we appreciate the thought but DH does the dishes and he has his routine and we cannot upset his routine. That takes care of it.
.

I cannot count the number of guests who want to help red up the table after breakfast.

Now you know, Kathleen, you are going to have to define red up - or more commonly, redd up - for those who don't have that particular bit of Pennsylvania/Scotch heritage. I use it all the time and used to think it was PA Dutch, but it's not.
From a Word Detective column in 12/2000: "While you don't mention exactly where you grew up, if your grandmother routinely told you to "redd up" your room, there's a statistical probability that either you were living in, or your grandmother was from, Pennsylvania. "Redd up," meaning "to clear or clean up," arrived in America with immigrants from Scotland and northern England, and while Scots settled all over the eastern US, the phrase seems to be most commonly heard today, for some reason, in Pennsylvania.
The root of "redd" (which by itself means "to clear or clean") seems to be a combination of the Middle English and Scots dialectical word "redden" (meaning "to free or clear an area") with another Middle English word, "reden," meaning "to rescue or free from." The same tangle of roots gave us the word "rid," and is closely related to the word "ready." And none of this, by the way, has anything to do with the color "red.""

.

I also thought it was Pennsylvania Dutch (part of family heritage which since we are explaining is actually PA Deutch (German)) but we used it in the Northern Panhandle of WV and it is also a common term in Steubenville, Ohio area (just across the river). Being as how my home area is only an hour from Pittsburgh (proniunced Pixburgh) it is all a mish-maash.