Mama brought down half a bowl of cereal from last night. Daughter does not eat cereal this morning - she ate the whole plate of choc chip muffins and deigned to eat some of the eggs since it was a casserole and not just fried eggs. She has decided - sight unseen - that she does not like the college because it is too far from home. She does not like places she does not know. Lord save me! What kind of people bring up their kids to NOT stretch their wings?? He says, she does not like being where Mommy & Daddy cannot tuck her in at night. I managed to not puke - but DID have to leave the room quickly bewfore blood started spurting from my tongue! Nice enough people, just so smothering over a kid who obviously rules the house and knows it.
The Dad sat in the chair DH sits on at the head of the table - it is broken in the supports at the bottom - DH is no problem because he is skinny. I held my breath that the chair would hold (no the place setting was not there) since he was probably a good 100 lbs heavier than DH. They just left. They were quiet other than letting the door slam at 6 AM. This was probably their first time at a B & B.
I was probably the PITA - I wanted to slap the kid silly and the fact I had to shut up got me super aggro..
The kid may be scared to leave home. I was a commuter during college. Absolutely terrified to go away to school. It's sad and I missed so much by being so fearful. Never went on any of the European trips with my language classes, terrified. It's a debilitating thing to go thru.
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Madeleine said:
The kid may be scared to leave home. I was a commuter during college. Absolutely terrified to go away to school. It's sad and I missed so much by being so fearful. Never went on any of the European trips with my language classes, terrified. It's a debilitating thing to go thru.
I agree it is sad. I think she is just used to being waited on hand and foot and getting what she wants, when she wants.
I wanted mine to experience the world. So I started nudging them out of the nest early. Whe nthe twins were 12 they were having an argument and Sheryl came charging into the kitchen. "We have to move out when we are 18 don't we!" I said not necessicarily, when you are financially able, YES! They knew the world was coming. Funny thing is ALL of them have thanked me for pushing them.
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gillumhouse said:
Madeleine said:
The kid may be scared to leave home. I was a commuter during college. Absolutely terrified to go away to school. It's sad and I missed so much by being so fearful. Never went on any of the European trips with my language classes, terrified. It's a debilitating thing to go thru.
I agree it is sad. I think she is just used to being waited on hand and foot and getting what she wants, when she wants.
I wanted mine to experience the world. So I started nudging them out of the nest early. Whe nthe twins were 12 they were having an argument and Sheryl came charging into the kitchen. "We have to move out when we are 18 don't we!" I said not necessicarily, when you are financially able, YES! They knew the world was coming. Funny thing is ALL of them have thanked me for pushing them.
My oldest DD left home at 18, I tossed her butt out the door, it was the best thing I ever did for her, she is now and has been for the past 7 1/2 years been one of my best friends, yes she is still my DD but she is also my friend.
Next one leaves in just over 3 months at 17 for Illinois, off to college and never to return, G-d love her, she is directionally challenged, even if she wanted to come home, she would get lost doing it.
Youngest, my baby DS, can't wait, he too will be off at 17 to college to be named later in just a short 15 months, would have been 8 months but they changed the class scheduling so he is stuck. If he knew they were going to make those changes he would have graduated this year with his sister, and I would be the proud mommy of three college students one year earlier.
Kids need to know it is safe to come home, but spreading their wings while the safety net is still firmly in place is a huge comfort. Going away to college, even if it is 3,000 miles away is a valuable experience for young people, it prepares them for the real world in the event their parents missed that point.
Sounds like this girl has not been given the tools to use to know she can experience things without having mommy or daddy holding her hands. Independance is a liberating and wonderful gift to give a child, more parents should try it. I am thankful every day for my kids, and proud of what they do each day, and although I will miss them when they are off to school and entering adulthood, I will know I sent them out there armed with the confidence to do it right, and when they screw it up as they all do, they also know they can call Mommy and I will tell them how to fix it, but I can assure you I won't be fixing it for them!!!!
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