Pollyanna
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- Apr 2, 2010
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We've only had a few PITAs, but when we do have one, we comfort ourselves by making a preliminary diagnosis just so we can figure out WHY people act the way they act. Last night, we had a definite Narcissistic Personality Disorder. You know, the kind that sing "I am the world..." to themselves while arranging players on their stage of life. And God help anyone who doesn't say the right lines or who dares to get out of their assigned character! So, there was a tragic accident that made national news which blocked traffic out of the city on the way up here on Saturday. Several young people lost their lives. Apparently quite inconvenient for this couple who were coming for the night. Their freeway drive took 3 hours instead of the usual 2 and he was furious! They called and the Mrs was explaining why they'd be late and he grabbed the phone and started screaming at me that he was about to have a heart attack from the stress! While talking with them, I checked the internet report and saw that the accident was cleared now and they were about 45 minutes from my place. I explained that they would be here right on time for check-in and I'd have some lemonade for them and their room was air-conditioned and they'd soon be feeling fine. He yelled "I don't even want to come now! But I suppose we HAVE TO come! Thank you for your understanding!" and hung up on me. An hour later, the wife called again to say they had decided to go into town first and would check in after dinner.
Just to make them feel better, I put our special area coupon packet and a box of locally made candy in their room with a sweet note wishing them a better time now that they were on vacation. When they arrived, he was visibly still seething, made a nasty comment about my dogs, (prominently featured on my web page) refused to set a breakfast time (they'd let me know in the morning) and sneered at their beautiful room and the candy box. The Mrs. was cowering and fearful and the guy brought a horrible angry spirit in to the place. I put my dogs in the family quarters for the rest of the night, obsequiously made sure they had every little thing they could possibly want (with him glaring, and her cowering) and we whispered and tiptoed through the rest of the evening. Fortunately the rest of the guests were out or all tucked into their rooms. But we had a few grown kids home for Father's Day and they witnessed the whole disturbance. We are a completely non-smoking facility but he went out and had a cigarette on our porch which we chose to ignore. Then my husband got home and tried cheerfully greeting him and the guy was nasty and would not offer his hand in return for a handshake. My husband walked away to keep from getting into an altercation, he was so upset at the guy's demeanor. At that point, I'd had it. The next time I saw him getting more goodies from our buffet, I stopped him and said "Look, this is a beautiful place, usually filled with happy people, and we like our guests to be happy. You're obviously not happy here and I'd like to help you out." (literally!) He yelled "Well, you forced us to come here!" (huh?) So I said, "Let's just discard your credit card charge and you folks go find someplace you'd like better." He stomped up the stairs and the wife murmered that they were already here, so... I was deeply disappointed that they did not take me up on it. It was only about 8 PM and it was a long, disturbed evening with that guy in residence.
Next morning, after I had served breakfast to everyone else and seen them off, thank God, the abusive lout came downstairs with all their belongings in tow. I offered breakfast, he ignored me and walked to the car and left the wife to explain they're leaving and don't want breakfast. I helped her re-pack her cooler with all the stuff they crammed into my fridg. She did not apologize, thank us for the extras or anything. I was SO tempted to say "Honey, this guy will never, ever be satisfied with anything. Everything is about him and he cannot fathom others' needs or feelings. It's called NPD. Get out now while you're young!" but I just cheerfully responded to her requests. I locked the door behind them, shut our electric driveway gate soon as their car left, just to reestablish a sense of safety, and went to tell the rest of the family and the poor dogs, it was safe to come out now. We were able to celebrate Father's Day with no guests until tomorrow.
Really, it was very disturbing. Our other guests were delightful and never came into contact with Mr. Rage-a-holic, so I guess we just have to recover and continue to put ourselves out there for the general public, nutcakes and all. I'm not really amused by anything about this yet. I feel like I need to see a therapist to de-tox. But I can't afford one, so here you are, for free. Thanks for letting me vent. I feel a little better.
Just to make them feel better, I put our special area coupon packet and a box of locally made candy in their room with a sweet note wishing them a better time now that they were on vacation. When they arrived, he was visibly still seething, made a nasty comment about my dogs, (prominently featured on my web page) refused to set a breakfast time (they'd let me know in the morning) and sneered at their beautiful room and the candy box. The Mrs. was cowering and fearful and the guy brought a horrible angry spirit in to the place. I put my dogs in the family quarters for the rest of the night, obsequiously made sure they had every little thing they could possibly want (with him glaring, and her cowering) and we whispered and tiptoed through the rest of the evening. Fortunately the rest of the guests were out or all tucked into their rooms. But we had a few grown kids home for Father's Day and they witnessed the whole disturbance. We are a completely non-smoking facility but he went out and had a cigarette on our porch which we chose to ignore. Then my husband got home and tried cheerfully greeting him and the guy was nasty and would not offer his hand in return for a handshake. My husband walked away to keep from getting into an altercation, he was so upset at the guy's demeanor. At that point, I'd had it. The next time I saw him getting more goodies from our buffet, I stopped him and said "Look, this is a beautiful place, usually filled with happy people, and we like our guests to be happy. You're obviously not happy here and I'd like to help you out." (literally!) He yelled "Well, you forced us to come here!" (huh?) So I said, "Let's just discard your credit card charge and you folks go find someplace you'd like better." He stomped up the stairs and the wife murmered that they were already here, so... I was deeply disappointed that they did not take me up on it. It was only about 8 PM and it was a long, disturbed evening with that guy in residence.
Next morning, after I had served breakfast to everyone else and seen them off, thank God, the abusive lout came downstairs with all their belongings in tow. I offered breakfast, he ignored me and walked to the car and left the wife to explain they're leaving and don't want breakfast. I helped her re-pack her cooler with all the stuff they crammed into my fridg. She did not apologize, thank us for the extras or anything. I was SO tempted to say "Honey, this guy will never, ever be satisfied with anything. Everything is about him and he cannot fathom others' needs or feelings. It's called NPD. Get out now while you're young!" but I just cheerfully responded to her requests. I locked the door behind them, shut our electric driveway gate soon as their car left, just to reestablish a sense of safety, and went to tell the rest of the family and the poor dogs, it was safe to come out now. We were able to celebrate Father's Day with no guests until tomorrow.
Really, it was very disturbing. Our other guests were delightful and never came into contact with Mr. Rage-a-holic, so I guess we just have to recover and continue to put ourselves out there for the general public, nutcakes and all. I'm not really amused by anything about this yet. I feel like I need to see a therapist to de-tox. But I can't afford one, so here you are, for free. Thanks for letting me vent. I feel a little better.