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EmptyNest

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Hmmm this sounds very familiar....I believe they have found my fact sheets on line and are using them....with minor adjustments to the language !
 

Alibi Ike

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Honestly I cannot answer positively to a lot of that list. And yet, guests seem to like it here. They do return. We did lose a few, quite a few, who were used to a much more accommodating <read: doormat> personality from the previous innkeepers. 7 years into it we are still here, motivated, a little more tired and wiser than at first, but still moving forward.
 

wendydk

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I think I have nearly all the traits on that list...the two that I didn't - getting up early and cooking was David's job; gardening, lawn and landscaping, I hired out, and the Inn was the better for it.
Not every innkeeper needs to have every one of those skills...but the people part, you'd better be able to do. Let me add that because an innkeeper is extraordinarily accommodating does not make them a doormat; maybe they just had people skills to the nth degree or thought their guests happiness was the most important thing.
I really resent the "doormat" implication, whenever I see it used here in that way.
 

Alibi Ike

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I think I have nearly all the traits on that list...the two that I didn't - getting up early and cooking was David's job; gardening, lawn and landscaping, I hired out, and the Inn was the better for it.
Not every innkeeper needs to have every one of those skills...but the people part, you'd better be able to do. Let me add that because an innkeeper is extraordinarily accommodating does not make them a doormat; maybe they just had people skills to the nth degree or thought their guests happiness was the most important thing.
I really resent the "doormat" implication, whenever I see it used here in that way..
wendydk said:
Let me add that because an innkeeper is extraordinarily accommodating does not make them a doormat; maybe they just had people skills to the nth degree or thought their guests happiness was the most important thing.
I really resent the "doormat" implication, whenever I see it used here in that way.
You are absolutely correct that the previous innkeepers thought their guests' happiness was above and beyond their own. Thus their particular burnout because they no longer had any space of their own. They did not know how to regain their space, control of their property or the respect of their guests for their space or property or themselves. Doormat applies. We heard the stories from the guests who continued to come and the ones who came back after they found out new people had taken over. And we definitely heard it from the ones who were very unhappy they could no longer behave as they had before because the other innkeepers retreated in the face of unhappy guests and we did not.
Doormat applies to people who are wishing things were different than the way they are and they take no steps to make it so. When innkeepers are perfectly happy with their guests and their guests' behavior and their own behavior toward their guests, then doormat is not applicable.
 

wendydk

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I think I have nearly all the traits on that list...the two that I didn't - getting up early and cooking was David's job; gardening, lawn and landscaping, I hired out, and the Inn was the better for it.
Not every innkeeper needs to have every one of those skills...but the people part, you'd better be able to do. Let me add that because an innkeeper is extraordinarily accommodating does not make them a doormat; maybe they just had people skills to the nth degree or thought their guests happiness was the most important thing.
I really resent the "doormat" implication, whenever I see it used here in that way..
wendydk said:
Let me add that because an innkeeper is extraordinarily accommodating does not make them a doormat; maybe they just had people skills to the nth degree or thought their guests happiness was the most important thing.
I really resent the "doormat" implication, whenever I see it used here in that way.
You are absolutely correct that the previous innkeepers thought their guests' happiness was above and beyond their own. Thus their particular burnout because they no longer had any space of their own. They did not know how to regain their space, control of their property or the respect of their guests for their space or property or themselves. Doormat applies. We heard the stories from the guests who continued to come and the ones who came back after they found out new people had taken over. And we definitely heard it from the ones who were very unhappy they could no longer behave as they had before because the other innkeepers retreated in the face of unhappy guests and we did not.
Doormat applies to people who are wishing things were different than the way they are and they take no steps to make it so. When innkeepers are perfectly happy with their guests and their guests' behavior and their own behavior toward their guests, then doormat is not applicable.
.
Alibi Ike said:
When innkeepers are perfectly happy with their guests and their guests' behavior and their own behavior toward their guests, then doormat is not applicable.
Exactly...not every uber-accommodating innkeeper is a doormat.
 

Joey Camb

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I think I am lucky in the UK as people here don't expect to be entertained or waited on hand and foot. The only thing that hacks me off is when people are just completely unthinking ie late arrivals, banging bags down the stairs, damage (by that I mean serious not coffee rings) and so on. But its the people who ask for simple things to make them happy ie do rooms have tea and coffee making facilities in their room (that was all it took to make three double rooms at peak rate over new year book!) I think our biggest challeng is to get the message out there are bargains to be had but generally you get what you pay for!
 

Breakfast Diva

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I think I have nearly all the traits on that list...the two that I didn't - getting up early and cooking was David's job; gardening, lawn and landscaping, I hired out, and the Inn was the better for it.
Not every innkeeper needs to have every one of those skills...but the people part, you'd better be able to do. Let me add that because an innkeeper is extraordinarily accommodating does not make them a doormat; maybe they just had people skills to the nth degree or thought their guests happiness was the most important thing.
I really resent the "doormat" implication, whenever I see it used here in that way..
wendydk said:
Let me add that because an innkeeper is extraordinarily accommodating does not make them a doormat; maybe they just had people skills to the nth degree or thought their guests happiness was the most important thing.
I really resent the "doormat" implication, whenever I see it used here in that way.
You are absolutely correct that the previous innkeepers thought their guests' happiness was above and beyond their own. Thus their particular burnout because they no longer had any space of their own. They did not know how to regain their space, control of their property or the respect of their guests for their space or property or themselves. Doormat applies. We heard the stories from the guests who continued to come and the ones who came back after they found out new people had taken over. And we definitely heard it from the ones who were very unhappy they could no longer behave as they had before because the other innkeepers retreated in the face of unhappy guests and we did not.
Doormat applies to people who are wishing things were different than the way they are and they take no steps to make it so. When innkeepers are perfectly happy with their guests and their guests' behavior and their own behavior toward their guests, then doormat is not applicable.
.
Alibi Ike said:
When innkeepers are perfectly happy with their guests and their guests' behavior and their own behavior toward their guests, then doormat is not applicable.
Exactly...not every uber-accommodating innkeeper is a doormat.
.
wendydk said:
Alibi Ike said:
When innkeepers are perfectly happy with their guests and their guests' behavior and their own behavior toward their guests, then doormat is not applicable.
Exactly...not every uber-accommodating innkeeper is a doormat.
One can definitely be "uber-accommodating" and still not a door-mat. The POs here were definitely door-mats. Early arrivals, late departures, any excuse the guest used to get out at the last minute of their reservation was accepted, they never said no to any donation or lame-brain request. After a few years of owning the place, they couldn't handle it and hired a full-time innkeeper and they bought a house 15 minutes away. They didn't need the income of the B&B since the husband had a high paying job.
Even with never saying "no" to guests, guess what....their occupancy went way down. Our first year here, it was very, very difficult for us. I didn't want to say "no" to guests, especially repeats from the POs, but I found that I really started to resent those guests instead of being able to relax and enjoy the repeats from years before. I soon started to be able to put more boundries. We lost those who resented guidelines, but kept many, many repeats from the old days.
To me, a B&B has two parts...the "touchy feely" part & the business part. There definitely needs to be a balance between the two or your time as an innkeeper will be miserable. In my case, the "touchy feely" part of the business was here, but the business part wasn't. The more we grew the business, the more clear it was that we had made the right decision to firm up the boundries and that I was getting more and more comfortable sticking with our rules and kindly communicating that some requests or actions of guests were not ok.
That balance is different for every innkeeper, but striving for that balance is very important.
 

bbinnsitters

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I am going to reply on my sisters behalf:
If you read the 'SO, YOU WANT TO BE AN INNKEEPER' how-to books, you will find that I don't fit the profile AT ALL.
But I love Innsitting, and if you find a job you love, you will never work a day in your life.
 

MTLLodge

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I think this is the list of the "perfect" person! If I didn't think I'd be a good innkeeper, I wouldn't have spent the last 24 years preparing myself for it. I am good at some of these thing, very good at some and others, I'm still developing.
 

JBloggs

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Speaking of door mats did I mention the door mat lady here? I have to catch her and say something!!
Now listen it is the old PARSON JOHN scenario, a great preacher a great people person a lousy administrator!
Not everyone is great at everything.
To think you need to be to innjoy innkeeping it a fallacy.
To think you can excel in all areas is a falsity.
In fact there may be some who get 100% satisfaction out of ONE aspect of innkeeping and ZERO out of the rest! Think about it, we each have areas we innjoy and areas we detest. Does this make up an unworthy innkeeper? Absolutely not.
I did put this under the aspiring section, though. :) Funny how the seasoned are in on it! It is okay, this forum is for one and all. I put it on for those who may be considering it will see some of the different traits innkeepers should have (could be 20/80 or 40/60).
 

JBloggs

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Cambs said "I think I am lucky in the UK as people here don't expect to be entertained or waited on hand and foot. The only thing that hacks me off is when people are just completely unthinking ie late arrivals, banging bags down the stairs, damage (by that I mean serious not coffee rings) and so on."
The old song, dance and magic tricks routine. We have it more here than overseas, somehow we bent to those who demand it and now expect us to entertain them, while they dine. "B&B BREAKFAST THEATER"
Today they tried that on me, when you are there with others at the table - enjoy them, don't expect me to come in and talk. What is this, a morning lecture hall or something? Jeez eat your friggin' food I slaved away over all morning and am now cleaning up! (I mean, bless their little hearts)
 

bbinnsitters

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Speaking of door mats did I mention the door mat lady here? I have to catch her and say something!!
Now listen it is the old PARSON JOHN scenario, a great preacher a great people person a lousy administrator!
Not everyone is great at everything.
To think you need to be to innjoy innkeeping it a fallacy.
To think you can excel in all areas is a falsity.
In fact there may be some who get 100% satisfaction out of ONE aspect of innkeeping and ZERO out of the rest! Think about it, we each have areas we innjoy and areas we detest. Does this make up an unworthy innkeeper? Absolutely not.
I did put this under the aspiring section, though. :) Funny how the seasoned are in on it! It is okay, this forum is for one and all. I put it on for those who may be considering it will see some of the different traits innkeepers should have (could be 20/80 or 40/60)..
I don't know about the rest of you, but I never pay attention to what section a thread is on - I just click on it if it sounds interesting! I only look at the different sections when I am trying to locate an old thread.
JB - didn't you see my solution for the doormat lady?
 

Don Draper

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Well, I didn't read past the first requirement of liking people...because we sure used to but innkeeping has made us do a 180 degree turn for sure. Now my ideal time is spent in complete silence not speaking to or looking at ANY one!
I made the comment to a friend recently that evidently our "fake niceness" is a little too convincing as we are constantly subjected to unannounced drop-ins, phone calls, return guests who expect us to spend every minute with them. It is unbelievable. I dare anyone to try to do what we do day in and day out without a break for weeks and months on end. They couldn't do it.
I don't know, we just had lovely people check out this morning and I enjoyed every moment of interaction with them. But honestly, those folks are about 2% of what we deal with.
As I type this I have chills running up and down my spine as I hear the grating giggle of a repeat guest who expects me to spend every moment of the weekend with her...I am completely throwing DH under the bus and letting him do the check-in...I want to go throw up.
 

Alibi Ike

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Cambs said "I think I am lucky in the UK as people here don't expect to be entertained or waited on hand and foot. The only thing that hacks me off is when people are just completely unthinking ie late arrivals, banging bags down the stairs, damage (by that I mean serious not coffee rings) and so on."
The old song, dance and magic tricks routine. We have it more here than overseas, somehow we bent to those who demand it and now expect us to entertain them, while they dine. "B&B BREAKFAST THEATER"
Today they tried that on me, when you are there with others at the table - enjoy them, don't expect me to come in and talk. What is this, a morning lecture hall or something? Jeez eat your friggin' food I slaved away over all morning and am now cleaning up! (I mean, bless their little hearts)
.
Joey Bloggs said:


The old song, dance and magic tricks routine. We have it more here than overseas, somehow we bent to those who demand it and now expect us to entertain them, while they dine. "B&B BREAKFAST THEATER"
This is the part we like. The theater part. Maybe the both of us should have been stand-up comedians. It's the most time we spend with the guests unless we run into them in the evening. Then we can chat for hours. But breakfast is the main event so we do make a show of it. There are 2 of us during breakfast so it does make a difference. When it's just me it depends on what I'm cooking if I can chat and cook at the same time. Eggs, no. French toast, yes.
 

Alibi Ike

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Well, I didn't read past the first requirement of liking people...because we sure used to but innkeeping has made us do a 180 degree turn for sure. Now my ideal time is spent in complete silence not speaking to or looking at ANY one!
I made the comment to a friend recently that evidently our "fake niceness" is a little too convincing as we are constantly subjected to unannounced drop-ins, phone calls, return guests who expect us to spend every minute with them. It is unbelievable. I dare anyone to try to do what we do day in and day out without a break for weeks and months on end. They couldn't do it.
I don't know, we just had lovely people check out this morning and I enjoyed every moment of interaction with them. But honestly, those folks are about 2% of what we deal with.
As I type this I have chills running up and down my spine as I hear the grating giggle of a repeat guest who expects me to spend every moment of the weekend with her...I am completely throwing DH under the bus and letting him do the check-in...I want to go throw up..
Don Draper said:
Well, I didn't read past the first requirement of liking people...because we sure used to but innkeeping has made us do a 180 degree turn for sure. Now my ideal time is spent in complete silence not speaking to or looking at ANY one!
I knew I had a long-lost cousin out there somewhere!
 

wendydk

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Cambs said "I think I am lucky in the UK as people here don't expect to be entertained or waited on hand and foot. The only thing that hacks me off is when people are just completely unthinking ie late arrivals, banging bags down the stairs, damage (by that I mean serious not coffee rings) and so on."
The old song, dance and magic tricks routine. We have it more here than overseas, somehow we bent to those who demand it and now expect us to entertain them, while they dine. "B&B BREAKFAST THEATER"
Today they tried that on me, when you are there with others at the table - enjoy them, don't expect me to come in and talk. What is this, a morning lecture hall or something? Jeez eat your friggin' food I slaved away over all morning and am now cleaning up! (I mean, bless their little hearts)
.
Joey Bloggs said:


The old song, dance and magic tricks routine. We have it more here than overseas, somehow we bent to those who demand it and now expect us to entertain them, while they dine. "B&B BREAKFAST THEATER"
This is the part we like. The theater part. Maybe the both of us should have been stand-up comedians. It's the most time we spend with the guests unless we run into them in the evening. Then we can chat for hours. But breakfast is the main event so we do make a show of it. There are 2 of us during breakfast so it does make a difference. When it's just me it depends on what I'm cooking if I can chat and cook at the same time. Eggs, no. French toast, yes.
.
Joey Bloggs said:
This is the part we like. The theater part. Maybe the both of us should have been stand-up comedians.
I never felt like I had to entertain my guests, especially at breakfast. Once it was served (plated), we were out of there, except for periodic checking of the pump pots, and for clearing when everyone was done. I didn't stand around, refill coffee cups or try to start or maintain conversations. Must be the difference in the type of Inn.
 

Don Draper

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Well, I didn't read past the first requirement of liking people...because we sure used to but innkeeping has made us do a 180 degree turn for sure. Now my ideal time is spent in complete silence not speaking to or looking at ANY one!
I made the comment to a friend recently that evidently our "fake niceness" is a little too convincing as we are constantly subjected to unannounced drop-ins, phone calls, return guests who expect us to spend every minute with them. It is unbelievable. I dare anyone to try to do what we do day in and day out without a break for weeks and months on end. They couldn't do it.
I don't know, we just had lovely people check out this morning and I enjoyed every moment of interaction with them. But honestly, those folks are about 2% of what we deal with.
As I type this I have chills running up and down my spine as I hear the grating giggle of a repeat guest who expects me to spend every moment of the weekend with her...I am completely throwing DH under the bus and letting him do the check-in...I want to go throw up..
Don Draper said:
Well, I didn't read past the first requirement of liking people...because we sure used to but innkeeping has made us do a 180 degree turn for sure. Now my ideal time is spent in complete silence not speaking to or looking at ANY one!
I knew I had a long-lost cousin out there somewhere!
.

 

Alibi Ike

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Cambs said "I think I am lucky in the UK as people here don't expect to be entertained or waited on hand and foot. The only thing that hacks me off is when people are just completely unthinking ie late arrivals, banging bags down the stairs, damage (by that I mean serious not coffee rings) and so on."
The old song, dance and magic tricks routine. We have it more here than overseas, somehow we bent to those who demand it and now expect us to entertain them, while they dine. "B&B BREAKFAST THEATER"
Today they tried that on me, when you are there with others at the table - enjoy them, don't expect me to come in and talk. What is this, a morning lecture hall or something? Jeez eat your friggin' food I slaved away over all morning and am now cleaning up! (I mean, bless their little hearts)
.
Joey Bloggs said:


The old song, dance and magic tricks routine. We have it more here than overseas, somehow we bent to those who demand it and now expect us to entertain them, while they dine. "B&B BREAKFAST THEATER"
This is the part we like. The theater part. Maybe the both of us should have been stand-up comedians. It's the most time we spend with the guests unless we run into them in the evening. Then we can chat for hours. But breakfast is the main event so we do make a show of it. There are 2 of us during breakfast so it does make a difference. When it's just me it depends on what I'm cooking if I can chat and cook at the same time. Eggs, no. French toast, yes.
.
Joey Bloggs said:
This is the part we like. The theater part. Maybe the both of us should have been stand-up comedians.
I never felt like I had to entertain my guests, especially at breakfast. Once it was served (plated), we were out of there, except for periodic checking of the pump pots, and for clearing when everyone was done. I didn't stand around, refill coffee cups or try to start or maintain conversations. Must be the difference in the type of Inn.
.
Even though it comes off sounding like entertainment, it is engagement with guests. It's why they come to a B&B.
 

JBloggs

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Cambs said "I think I am lucky in the UK as people here don't expect to be entertained or waited on hand and foot. The only thing that hacks me off is when people are just completely unthinking ie late arrivals, banging bags down the stairs, damage (by that I mean serious not coffee rings) and so on."
The old song, dance and magic tricks routine. We have it more here than overseas, somehow we bent to those who demand it and now expect us to entertain them, while they dine. "B&B BREAKFAST THEATER"
Today they tried that on me, when you are there with others at the table - enjoy them, don't expect me to come in and talk. What is this, a morning lecture hall or something? Jeez eat your friggin' food I slaved away over all morning and am now cleaning up! (I mean, bless their little hearts)
.
Joey Bloggs said:


The old song, dance and magic tricks routine. We have it more here than overseas, somehow we bent to those who demand it and now expect us to entertain them, while they dine. "B&B BREAKFAST THEATER"
This is the part we like. The theater part. Maybe the both of us should have been stand-up comedians. It's the most time we spend with the guests unless we run into them in the evening. Then we can chat for hours. But breakfast is the main event so we do make a show of it. There are 2 of us during breakfast so it does make a difference. When it's just me it depends on what I'm cooking if I can chat and cook at the same time. Eggs, no. French toast, yes.
.
Joey Bloggs said:
This is the part we like. The theater part. Maybe the both of us should have been stand-up comedians.
I never felt like I had to entertain my guests, especially at breakfast. Once it was served (plated), we were out of there, except for periodic checking of the pump pots, and for clearing when everyone was done. I didn't stand around, refill coffee cups or try to start or maintain conversations. Must be the difference in the type of Inn.
.
wendydk said:
Joey Bloggs said:
This is the part we like. The theater part. Maybe the both of us should have been stand-up comedians.
I never felt like I had to entertain my guests, especially at breakfast. Once it was served (plated), we were out of there, except for periodic checking of the pump pots, and for clearing when everyone was done. I didn't stand around, refill coffee cups or try to start or maintain conversations. Must be the difference in the type of Inn.
okay whatever happened, that is not my quote up there...although I have my moments...

Yeah it is an enigma. Another difference, just had a young couple check in and where other innkeepers mention younger spoiled and me generation, my younger guests are always much nicer than my boomers. Generalizing here, it is a case by case thing. But overall. And again that may be age to age ratio influencing that. Who knows.
 
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