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For the first time I said "No"

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domsmom

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It is 7:20, I am having dinner with my kids and the phone just rang... "are you available for a tour tonight?"
My usual response "um, ok, when will you be coming by?"- followed by... I stop what I am doing, get everything ready for a tour and ignore my kids for the next umteen minutes.
This time I replied "tonight, no, I have 3 young children who will be going to bed soon". For some reason, I feel empowered by saying "No". Too often I let the possibility of business rule my world. Guess I am taking control.
 

Banana

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Good for you! I'm in my 6th year and just now comfortable enough to say "no" when it's not convenient for me. It's a great feeling
 

One Day

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Good for you................and the kids.
..........can't get back lost time and lost momments
I made the mistake of marrying my business 27 years ago.......
 

Morticia

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Did you set up a time when you would be available?
Yes, it's great to say no. We do that after 9 pretty much every night in the summer. 'No, sorry, we don't have any rooms for tonight.' For all I know they are sitting in the parking lot, but most times they are still 2 hours away.
 

domsmom

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Did you set up a time when you would be available?
Yes, it's great to say no. We do that after 9 pretty much every night in the summer. 'No, sorry, we don't have any rooms for tonight.' For all I know they are sitting in the parking lot, but most times they are still 2 hours away..
My first question was "can we set up another time for a tour?"
She said she would call back when she knows her schedule for later in the week.
It definetly felt freeing to just keep doing what we were doing. It took me 5 minutes to realize there are not many people in the world who would stop what they were doing to immediately accommodate my request.
 

Copperhead

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In this all about ME,ME, ME world we are living in, it is nice that you thought about YOU,YOU,YOU & the family!
I have thought about this time and time again - why do people think you are able to show them your home & all the rooms in a drop of a hat? They all seem surprised when I say that I can not show you the rooms, they are all occupied. I wonder what is going through their minds - I am just sitting here empty all the time? Or do they think I will show them an occupied room? Opps, you found another one of my soapboxes!
 

gillumhouse

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It is a wonderful feeling!!!
 

JBloggs

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Domsmom you nearly brought a tear to my eye. That is beautiful and I am glad to read it.
We have bills, we do, but our kids are most important.
Reminds me of year one when the gal walked right into our kitchen and demanded a tour for a whole house rental in a year. We were at the table and eating. I was new, I took her upstairs and asked she used the front door in the future. We had no lock on either at that time, btw. I put a note on the kitchen door to use main entrance at front.
I am still mad at myself for doing that. She never said "Oh sorry, you are eating lunch I can wait"
A year later when she called and the other family members wanted to come by I told them no. I did not get that booking, not sure if I would have anyway.
You did the right thing, they can SCHEDULE AND APPT. I have that on the sign at the front "Tours by Appt only"
 

One Day

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Why a tour for a booking ?
Do folks tour hotels ?
 

EmptyNest

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Good for you. YOu should have a set time say 1 -3 pm( or whatever works best for you) for tours which must be scheduled in advance. Do not be at the beckon call of anyone. It is your business. YOu make the rules!
 

Don Draper

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Domsmom you nearly brought a tear to my eye. That is beautiful and I am glad to read it.
We have bills, we do, but our kids are most important.
Reminds me of year one when the gal walked right into our kitchen and demanded a tour for a whole house rental in a year. We were at the table and eating. I was new, I took her upstairs and asked she used the front door in the future. We had no lock on either at that time, btw. I put a note on the kitchen door to use main entrance at front.
I am still mad at myself for doing that. She never said "Oh sorry, you are eating lunch I can wait"
A year later when she called and the other family members wanted to come by I told them no. I did not get that booking, not sure if I would have anyway.
You did the right thing, they can SCHEDULE AND APPT. I have that on the sign at the front "Tours by Appt only".
I have been noticing lately for myself how many things like this we *used* to do...I shudder when i think we used to leave the doors into our quarters unlocked, because it would never have dawned on US to go through a door marked "PRIVATE"...it makes me sad. Is there any way to avoid this feeling of being worn down and used up? Is it inevitable in any position where you "work with the public"? I guess my real question is why do so many people STINK?

 

JBloggs

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Whenever locals stay, which is VERY RARE, they want to see the rooms. I will have three elderly sisters who inspect and open every closet and peer in. It is total aggravation. I don't make it easy to walk in here any more, we live here we need privacy and space. To outsiders we are just a business serving the public and doors s/b unlocked all the time.
One local had his grandmother here for a wedding, he was disturbed by the key pad on the door, he is a volunteer firefighter. I told him a hotel room has a card swipe and is always locked, and much harder to get into, no other access in most of the time. I hate trying to explain things to locals, they don't get it, ever. My business is for NON locals 99%. People who have a clue!
 

JBloggs

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Rupes you nailed it and explained why this biz is so different to other small biz. People think it is not different, it is. We not only work in our homes, but our business SLEEPS in our home. So it is not the same as an accountant who has clients in their home in season or weekly or even daily. They go home afterward.
It does wear you out. Last night when DH got home from work, it was 7pm and the smoke detector started chirping in a guest room. Fair enough, he grabbed his ladder and batteries and went up there and was in there chatting (very nice guests) for a half hour. THAT WAS MY HALF HOUR! THAT WAS OUR KIDS HALF HOUR. People don't get this, we require family time or we will self implode.
Others read this and don't get what the fuss is all about, so what take a few minutes and show them the rooms. We don't have weekends off to sleep in or mow the lawns when we want to, everything must be done, always done.
Not complaining, just explaining. When we explain people think we are griping, it is not a gripe, we shouldn't say it is 100% fun all the time to run an inn. It is exhausting. Who pays? The ones you love pay, unless you set the boundaries and KEEP the boundaries.
Kids go back to school tomorrow. I will reinvent these boundaries and work harder to maintain them, like self checkins after hours. I have been lax, as always and allow these boundaries to be bent.
Time to kick it up a notch here at this B&B. :)
 

Morticia

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Why a tour for a booking ?
Do folks tour hotels ?.
One Day said:
Why a tour for a booking ?
Do folks tour hotels ?
Mostly for wedding parties. They want to see what the layout is to see who they can put where. At least here anyway. No tours needed at hotels, they're all the same.
It takes time, but it's been the rare lookie lou who didn't put us on the 'save the date' card.
It gives me a chance to 'show off' what we have here. How things work, etc. It makes the potential guest more comfortable and that makes for more bookings. But, it has to be during the day. I don't do tours at night. Guests are relaxing in their rooms or in the living room, etc. That's their time.
Most of the time they just show up and don't bother to call in advance.
 

Morticia

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Domsmom you nearly brought a tear to my eye. That is beautiful and I am glad to read it.
We have bills, we do, but our kids are most important.
Reminds me of year one when the gal walked right into our kitchen and demanded a tour for a whole house rental in a year. We were at the table and eating. I was new, I took her upstairs and asked she used the front door in the future. We had no lock on either at that time, btw. I put a note on the kitchen door to use main entrance at front.
I am still mad at myself for doing that. She never said "Oh sorry, you are eating lunch I can wait"
A year later when she called and the other family members wanted to come by I told them no. I did not get that booking, not sure if I would have anyway.
You did the right thing, they can SCHEDULE AND APPT. I have that on the sign at the front "Tours by Appt only".
I have been noticing lately for myself how many things like this we *used* to do...I shudder when i think we used to leave the doors into our quarters unlocked, because it would never have dawned on US to go through a door marked "PRIVATE"...it makes me sad. Is there any way to avoid this feeling of being worn down and used up? Is it inevitable in any position where you "work with the public"? I guess my real question is why do so many people STINK?

.
Like Joey said, it's because they are in your home. When the PO's were asked by guests what they were going to do over the next weekend after we bought, he said, 'It's what I'm not going to do...I'm not going to get up at the crack of dawn and have to smile and say, "Good Morning" to a bunch of strangers.'
 

Morticia

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Did you set up a time when you would be available?
Yes, it's great to say no. We do that after 9 pretty much every night in the summer. 'No, sorry, we don't have any rooms for tonight.' For all I know they are sitting in the parking lot, but most times they are still 2 hours away..
My first question was "can we set up another time for a tour?"
She said she would call back when she knows her schedule for later in the week.
It definetly felt freeing to just keep doing what we were doing. It took me 5 minutes to realize there are not many people in the world who would stop what they were doing to immediately accommodate my request.
.
domsmom said:
It definetly felt freeing to just keep doing what we were doing. It took me 5 minutes to realize there are not many people in the world who would stop what they were doing to immediately accommodate my request.
BINGO!
 

Don Draper

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Rupes you nailed it and explained why this biz is so different to other small biz. People think it is not different, it is. We not only work in our homes, but our business SLEEPS in our home. So it is not the same as an accountant who has clients in their home in season or weekly or even daily. They go home afterward.
It does wear you out. Last night when DH got home from work, it was 7pm and the smoke detector started chirping in a guest room. Fair enough, he grabbed his ladder and batteries and went up there and was in there chatting (very nice guests) for a half hour. THAT WAS MY HALF HOUR! THAT WAS OUR KIDS HALF HOUR. People don't get this, we require family time or we will self implode.
Others read this and don't get what the fuss is all about, so what take a few minutes and show them the rooms. We don't have weekends off to sleep in or mow the lawns when we want to, everything must be done, always done.
Not complaining, just explaining. When we explain people think we are griping, it is not a gripe, we shouldn't say it is 100% fun all the time to run an inn. It is exhausting. Who pays? The ones you love pay, unless you set the boundaries and KEEP the boundaries.
Kids go back to school tomorrow. I will reinvent these boundaries and work harder to maintain them, like self checkins after hours. I have been lax, as always and allow these boundaries to be bent.
Time to kick it up a notch here at this B&B. :).
Thank you
My heart hurts for your lost half hour...I really, really get it. We get SO LITTLE time for ourselves, and they just want to take and take and take...and I GET IT, they are coming here for US as much as anything...but they all seem so needy right now.
I don't want to feel like I am griping. For goodness' sake I just had a 5 day vacation 2 weeks ago. But for some reason it is all just dragging me down this week.
We are busy, a lot of repeaters and for some reason they are all being just more demanding than ever. One BANGED on our kitchen door yesterday, the dog goes flying and barking, we were working on something on the computer together and it made our hearts' race, we jump up to see what could possibly be wrong...what did he want? To ask "What time the restaurants opened in town?"...it was 5:30 PM...and he's been here THREE TIMES BEFORE!!!! He just wanted a friend. You are renting the room buddy, NOT US.
 

JBloggs

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"You are renting the room buddy, NOT US."
B&B wh ores.
Sorry to sound strange on that one, but you hire the rooms not the innkeepers. Again, people will take that the wrong way, people are in your homes you need to be available. Yes, but not beck and call available. We have some who are spot on, and others who are beck and call, when we have this day in and day out for weeks/months or most of the year as some with super high occupancy have, then we need to set those boundaries and make sure we keep them.
Guests feel they are the only guests. This is a good thing. This morning one room talking to me and expecting me to be OUT THERE as I am cooking their food. I asked them to wait so I don't burn their breakfast, I had three burners going at once, the HEAT WAS ON BABY! The other guests came in and saved me from that. :) I don't mind talking, but I am working. Now I am waiting for one room to pay and check out.
 

Morticia

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Rupes you nailed it and explained why this biz is so different to other small biz. People think it is not different, it is. We not only work in our homes, but our business SLEEPS in our home. So it is not the same as an accountant who has clients in their home in season or weekly or even daily. They go home afterward.
It does wear you out. Last night when DH got home from work, it was 7pm and the smoke detector started chirping in a guest room. Fair enough, he grabbed his ladder and batteries and went up there and was in there chatting (very nice guests) for a half hour. THAT WAS MY HALF HOUR! THAT WAS OUR KIDS HALF HOUR. People don't get this, we require family time or we will self implode.
Others read this and don't get what the fuss is all about, so what take a few minutes and show them the rooms. We don't have weekends off to sleep in or mow the lawns when we want to, everything must be done, always done.
Not complaining, just explaining. When we explain people think we are griping, it is not a gripe, we shouldn't say it is 100% fun all the time to run an inn. It is exhausting. Who pays? The ones you love pay, unless you set the boundaries and KEEP the boundaries.
Kids go back to school tomorrow. I will reinvent these boundaries and work harder to maintain them, like self checkins after hours. I have been lax, as always and allow these boundaries to be bent.
Time to kick it up a notch here at this B&B. :).
Thank you
My heart hurts for your lost half hour...I really, really get it. We get SO LITTLE time for ourselves, and they just want to take and take and take...and I GET IT, they are coming here for US as much as anything...but they all seem so needy right now.
I don't want to feel like I am griping. For goodness' sake I just had a 5 day vacation 2 weeks ago. But for some reason it is all just dragging me down this week.
We are busy, a lot of repeaters and for some reason they are all being just more demanding than ever. One BANGED on our kitchen door yesterday, the dog goes flying and barking, we were working on something on the computer together and it made our hearts' race, we jump up to see what could possibly be wrong...what did he want? To ask "What time the restaurants opened in town?"...it was 5:30 PM...and he's been here THREE TIMES BEFORE!!!! He just wanted a friend. You are renting the room buddy, NOT US.
.
Rupert said:
He just wanted a friend. You are renting the room buddy, NOT US.
I went to deliver some brochures to a restaurant yesterday. They were slammed. They have 2 dining rooms, one which was closed to set up for dinner, the other packed, outside dining packed, line waiting for seats.
The person I went to see is the manager, she was bussing tables. I waited by the hostess stand to see if anyone would come out of the kitchen, no luck but 3 diners came and asked me questions (all of which I answered). I went to the bar to see if someone could find the person I wanted. 3 more diners asked for: a look at a menu (done), when the tables would be ready ('I'll check on that') and did he have to wait in line to sit at the bar ('No, go help yourself.').
I finally had to tell them I didn't work there. I didn't seat them, altho I would have had I known it was ok. One guy in line said, 'You ought to work here, you gave us more attention than anyone else did.'
Yes, guests everywhere are looking for simple acknowldegment. All the servers or bartenders had to do was walk over to where everyone was standing and acknowledge they were standing there and that it would be 'about 20 minutes' for a table. NO ONE did that.
On my way out I offered to set up the evening dining room if it would help them out.
I totally get being dead tired with the interaction and wanting 2 minutes' peace & quiet. The way I look at it (and possibly why little things bother me a lot) is that when guests are in the house, I am 'on.' Bell rings, I should answer it. (I don't always. Sometimes I just want 2 seconds and if it's 1 PM and I'm full, they have to wait until 3 PM.) Otherwise, we're here to help. We get a lot of time off in the winter.
Yes, people who are in this town who do not subscribe to that same philosophy are just as full. It's just how I am.
 

Samster

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Rupes you nailed it and explained why this biz is so different to other small biz. People think it is not different, it is. We not only work in our homes, but our business SLEEPS in our home. So it is not the same as an accountant who has clients in their home in season or weekly or even daily. They go home afterward.
It does wear you out. Last night when DH got home from work, it was 7pm and the smoke detector started chirping in a guest room. Fair enough, he grabbed his ladder and batteries and went up there and was in there chatting (very nice guests) for a half hour. THAT WAS MY HALF HOUR! THAT WAS OUR KIDS HALF HOUR. People don't get this, we require family time or we will self implode.
Others read this and don't get what the fuss is all about, so what take a few minutes and show them the rooms. We don't have weekends off to sleep in or mow the lawns when we want to, everything must be done, always done.
Not complaining, just explaining. When we explain people think we are griping, it is not a gripe, we shouldn't say it is 100% fun all the time to run an inn. It is exhausting. Who pays? The ones you love pay, unless you set the boundaries and KEEP the boundaries.
Kids go back to school tomorrow. I will reinvent these boundaries and work harder to maintain them, like self checkins after hours. I have been lax, as always and allow these boundaries to be bent.
Time to kick it up a notch here at this B&B. :).
This IS one of the most personal businesses that you can be in. People are staying in your home! Now, that's slightly different if you have a large inn and don't actually live on site and the work is done by staff or hired contractors. The other B&Bs here are like that...everything is done by staff. The owners are tucked away in their own homes.
The local people here definitely don't get the boundaries or understand this biz. The brides would call and say, "I'm in front of your place and would like a tour for my wedding a year from now. Your door is locked." Me: "Well, sorry...I am at the store buying groceries for my guests and we can set up an appointment". Bride: "Really, that's just not convenient for me." Me: "Well, you can check our website. What you see is what you get!" Good grief.... I can probably count on one hand, the number of local guests we had in 2 years.
I was totally impressed by a very busy, popular restaurant that I went to when I was out of town. The 2 owners were working as hard as their employees. I watched as they pitched in and did anything and everything to keep the flow going. They were moving customers in and out of there and the food was fantastic. We went back again and they remembered my name!! I've seen too many local restaurants here where you never see the owners and so much is lacking. That's another business where the personal touch can really pay off.
 
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