For the first time I said "No"

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Oh on the innkeeper for hire thing...I got this attitude after a totally full house for 3 days and I spent MY TIME sharing maps, directions, brochures with these two couples who never smiled, never were friendly in the least. I provided glassed and ice for their evening booze hour on the porch. I GAVE much to them, when I didn't have the time or energy.
(Sorry if you all have heard this one before)
So two seatings, means first gets served, we bust our butts to get it all cleared and reset and the food our HOT and fresh to the next group. I AM BUSY. I AM COOKING, I AM CLEARING, I AM CLEANING UP. Guests talk at the table, it is full, that is what happens, they laugh and talk and it is fun.
After check out...I send them a nice thank you email, LIKE I ALWAYS FLIPPIN' DO, Why? Because I AM NICE. I AM NICE AND TELL THEM THANK YOU AGAIN and WE APPRECIATE YOUR BUSINESS!
They reply that they expect to see the innkeepers at breakfast. (I was in and out bringing food, clearing plates, cleaning up...) They said They expect to have innkeeper interaction and discussion while seated at the table. Those were their words. Therefore my donning this term "Innkeeper song and dance routine." I felt ABUSED by this statement. I felt USED AND ABUSED. I was so angry and hurt, I gave so much and for them to say that to me was a huge slap in the face, head on slap! Other rooms got LESS of me.
So for that, YOU PAY FOR THE B&B experience - you bloody well did not pay my hourly rate you freakin' Johns! As you can see, I am a bit miffed by this ...still.
We give WHAT WE CAN and WHAT WE WANT TO GIVE. No one is hiring this innkeeper, if I had a sit-inn then they would get a hired innkeeper in my place. They do not pay for me, ever. I am about as adamant about this as I ever can be.
And yet at the same time, we have very lovely gusts and I go beyond the call of duty. The room that checked in tonight is here visiting this town where she grew up 40 years ago...In her room is a card that says "WELCOME HOME!" On the table brownies with walnuts, plums from our tree, sodas, an ice bucket with ice for drinks, a fresh bouquet of flowers, and in their room a vase of flowers. Their room is spaciojs and comfortable, and clean! I added a new comfy chair for reading recently. There are robes in the closet. An iPod docking station. Cable TV. Central A/C. An electric fireplace. A sofa. What more do you want? I think I am pretty nice. I think they have a pretty nice set up here, with nice innkeepers who care and share..
Joey Bloggs said:
They reply that they expect to see the innkeepers at breakfast. (I was in and out bringing food, clearing plates, cleaning up...) They said They expect to have innkeeper interaction and discussion while seated at the table. Those were their words. Therefore my donning this term "Innkeeper song and dance routine." I felt ABUSED by this statement. I felt USED AND ABUSED. I was so angry and hurt, I gave so much and for them to say that to me was a huge slap in the face, head on slap! Other rooms got LESS of me.
Wowzer. I wonder what elves they thought were making the food and keeping it coming hot and fresh.
Someone like that definitely thought they paid for entertainment, not B&B. They are looking for a place where the owner hires stuff out so all they have to do is the meet and greet. (And then you never see them because they're always out living their 'lifestyle'.)
We stayed at a place like that. But I don't think we were up to her standards. She breezed thru, looked us over and then left us to the cook.
We can only give so much in any given day. Today I was a tour guide for family. I 'conversed' non-stop for 3 hours. I did not want to have another conversation for the rest of the day. I got home and a friend was here. More conversing. Then guests arrived. Then Gomez thought I was ignoring him. Then my daughter let me know she may be moving 3000 miles away. So I'll get to see the grandkids every 5 years or so.
I'm beat. I have nothing left to give to anyone right now.
.
in this modern time 3000 isn't that far it just takes, skype, a computer with a camera and a little more planning for visits. I hope she doesn't move too far though
sad_smile.gif

 
For the first time ever we are starting to say no to those people who just pull up in the driveway and walk in expecting a full tour. Now we tell them to make an appointment when it's convenient for us. No more dropping everything we're doing to accommodate them. Last week my DH and I were having dinner when two people just walked right in the back yard. When my DH went out to talk to them they said, "Don't mind us we're just here to see the view"!
angry_smile.gif
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Get them off of your property. Don't even go out to talk. That will encourage them even more. Put up a no trespassing sign if you have to. or a Tours by Appt. only.
 
I am in awe at what we all go through. Doing this biz alone, sometimes I forget that there are innkeepers all over the planet, much like me. People who enjoying hosting others and taking care of others. There comes a point when we have had too much of the "it is convenient for me, so cater to ME NOW" folks. I think by the end of summer we are all exhausted, at least I am. I love the conversing with my guests, it is the part that brings me the most joy. However, when is the rest of the work suppose to get done? I am so dismayed that Joey had guests who watched her work her tail off only to comment later that they wanted more time with her?!!!??? I hope you are still not sad about this. The times when I have had a guest criticize me I loose sleep for a couple of days and sometimes I can improve on what they say and sometimes the reality of life or the unrealistic expectations they have do not allow change.
 
Oh on the innkeeper for hire thing...I got this attitude after a totally full house for 3 days and I spent MY TIME sharing maps, directions, brochures with these two couples who never smiled, never were friendly in the least. I provided glassed and ice for their evening booze hour on the porch. I GAVE much to them, when I didn't have the time or energy.
(Sorry if you all have heard this one before)
So two seatings, means first gets served, we bust our butts to get it all cleared and reset and the food our HOT and fresh to the next group. I AM BUSY. I AM COOKING, I AM CLEARING, I AM CLEANING UP. Guests talk at the table, it is full, that is what happens, they laugh and talk and it is fun.
After check out...I send them a nice thank you email, LIKE I ALWAYS FLIPPIN' DO, Why? Because I AM NICE. I AM NICE AND TELL THEM THANK YOU AGAIN and WE APPRECIATE YOUR BUSINESS!
They reply that they expect to see the innkeepers at breakfast. (I was in and out bringing food, clearing plates, cleaning up...) They said They expect to have innkeeper interaction and discussion while seated at the table. Those were their words. Therefore my donning this term "Innkeeper song and dance routine." I felt ABUSED by this statement. I felt USED AND ABUSED. I was so angry and hurt, I gave so much and for them to say that to me was a huge slap in the face, head on slap! Other rooms got LESS of me.
So for that, YOU PAY FOR THE B&B experience - you bloody well did not pay my hourly rate you freakin' Johns! As you can see, I am a bit miffed by this ...still.
We give WHAT WE CAN and WHAT WE WANT TO GIVE. No one is hiring this innkeeper, if I had a sit-inn then they would get a hired innkeeper in my place. They do not pay for me, ever. I am about as adamant about this as I ever can be.
And yet at the same time, we have very lovely gusts and I go beyond the call of duty. The room that checked in tonight is here visiting this town where she grew up 40 years ago...In her room is a card that says "WELCOME HOME!" On the table brownies with walnuts, plums from our tree, sodas, an ice bucket with ice for drinks, a fresh bouquet of flowers, and in their room a vase of flowers. Their room is spaciojs and comfortable, and clean! I added a new comfy chair for reading recently. There are robes in the closet. An iPod docking station. Cable TV. Central A/C. An electric fireplace. A sofa. What more do you want? I think I am pretty nice. I think they have a pretty nice set up here, with nice innkeepers who care and share..
Joey Bloggs said:
They reply that they expect to see the innkeepers at breakfast. (I was in and out bringing food, clearing plates, cleaning up...) They said They expect to have innkeeper interaction and discussion while seated at the table. Those were their words. Therefore my donning this term "Innkeeper song and dance routine." I felt ABUSED by this statement. I felt USED AND ABUSED. I was so angry and hurt, I gave so much and for them to say that to me was a huge slap in the face, head on slap! Other rooms got LESS of me.
Wowzer. I wonder what elves they thought were making the food and keeping it coming hot and fresh.
Someone like that definitely thought they paid for entertainment, not B&B. They are looking for a place where the owner hires stuff out so all they have to do is the meet and greet. (And then you never see them because they're always out living their 'lifestyle'.)
We stayed at a place like that. But I don't think we were up to her standards. She breezed thru, looked us over and then left us to the cook.
We can only give so much in any given day. Today I was a tour guide for family. I 'conversed' non-stop for 3 hours. I did not want to have another conversation for the rest of the day. I got home and a friend was here. More conversing. Then guests arrived. Then Gomez thought I was ignoring him. Then my daughter let me know she may be moving 3000 miles away. So I'll get to see the grandkids every 5 years or so.
I'm beat. I have nothing left to give to anyone right now.
.
in this modern time 3000 isn't that far it just takes, skype, a computer with a camera and a little more planning for visits. I hope she doesn't move too far though
sad_smile.gif

.
in this modern time 3000 isn't that far it just takes, skype, a computer with a camera and a little more planning for visits. I hope she doesn't move too far though
sad_smile.gif
I'll definitely get Skype if she does move. It'll take some doing to go for visits, tho.
 
I am in awe at what we all go through. Doing this biz alone, sometimes I forget that there are innkeepers all over the planet, much like me. People who enjoying hosting others and taking care of others. There comes a point when we have had too much of the "it is convenient for me, so cater to ME NOW" folks. I think by the end of summer we are all exhausted, at least I am. I love the conversing with my guests, it is the part that brings me the most joy. However, when is the rest of the work suppose to get done? I am so dismayed that Joey had guests who watched her work her tail off only to comment later that they wanted more time with her?!!!??? I hope you are still not sad about this. The times when I have had a guest criticize me I loose sleep for a couple of days and sometimes I can improve on what they say and sometimes the reality of life or the unrealistic expectations they have do not allow change..
This is the 'end of the summer' blues time. At the beginning of the summer it is the getting used to being busy again. At the end it is plain old worn out.
 
But by asking for this feedback AFTER the visit you are also inviting the passive aggressive behavior. If there's a problem, you get to tell me right now so I can fix it.
 
But by asking for this feedback AFTER the visit you are also inviting the passive aggressive behavior. If there's a problem, you get to tell me right now so I can fix it..
Rupert said:
But by asking for this feedback AFTER the visit you are also inviting the passive aggressive behavior. If there's a problem, you get to tell me right now so I can fix it.
We do the 'thank you' email and ask if there is anything we can do for their next visit. YES, we've gotten back some 'helpful hints' but they didn't mention those things when they were here so I'm glad they did when they got home or we wouldn't know about them.
However, NO ONE has ever been 'personal' in their comments. Just 'this needs fixing' sorts of things. Which is good to know. I guess I'd rather they got it out of their system emailing than reviewing. The real PA's are the ones who are sweetness & light to your face and then rip into you online in a review. THAT I can do without.
 
Well in my story I did everything right and then some and still got that, so they are just simply pitas. I am not sad, after the email it turned to ire. I decided right then and there not to be anybody's doormat in this business. I think we all have a lesson we can share when we turned a corner on something or made a rule change.
Some times it takes these things to wake up and realize in our busyness that we need to focus on the main thing, and keep the main thing the main thing!
I am pleased to know such fine innkeepers here on this forum and call them mates. :)
 
Well in my story I did everything right and then some and still got that, so they are just simply pitas. I am not sad, after the email it turned to ire. I decided right then and there not to be anybody's doormat in this business. I think we all have a lesson we can share when we turned a corner on something or made a rule change.
Some times it takes these things to wake up and realize in our busyness that we need to focus on the main thing, and keep the main thing the main thing!
I am pleased to know such fine innkeepers here on this forum and call them mates. :).
My thought for the day was this:
You desire to know the art of living, my friend? It is contained in one phrase: make use of suffering. -Henri Frederic Amiel, philosopher and writer (1821-1881)
Pretty much what we all do when faced with these kinds of people. What I've seen here, tho, is not a hardening against all people but an understanding of who we are and how we will choose to live our lives. Good for us! We've all met the innkeepers who have 'had it' and now treat everyone like they're going to be a PITA.
For anyone who wonders what we get out of this forum (given that there's a lot of grumpiness at times), it's the ability to grouse but not at the guest who is undeserving of the grousing!
 
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