Gender-Based Driving Directions

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Innkeep

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This is the funniest for a website. These folks definitely don't assume you know where they're located!
 

Joey Camb

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I have to direct people in all the time cos we have an insane one way system so if you miss us its a jigger to get back to us. I send a map of how to find us in the town with every confirmation (electronic attachment) and how to get round the back into the car park mind you I can't make the idiots read.
 

Alibi Ike

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Love that. And, 'One inconvenient location...'
Whenever we've gone around the same place a couple of times while lost, I'll say, 'We've been here before,' and spouse will ask, 'How do you know?' Invariably the answer is, 'I recognize that mailbox and those toys in the yard.'
 

JBloggs

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STOP!
I have two ladies here from Indie right now! And guess what, no you won't believe it, they called from the interstate and said"We will be here around 7pm. Are you easy to find?"
I said, yes we are, just follow the directions on the confirmation.
"We don't have the confirmation"
Well your gps will get you here.
"We don't have a gps"
Well then look for the man in the orange vest standing in the middle of the road flagging you into to town! LOL
Seriously, they said "We thought when we got to town we would just look for your inn" Then they said "We will call you again when we are closer."
Uh no you won't.
 

JBloggs

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I had directions this way last weekend, "Go Northeast on Route 145" Northeast? People have a difficult time navigating "directionally" here due to these mountains.
The worst directions was from our Detective friend. He said "Turn right at the mcdonalds" okay, well the mcdonalds is on the left - did he mean coming from the other direction? No it was WHEN YOU SEE A MCDONALDS TURN RIGHT. Me (thinking aloud) why would you not say turn right across from the mcdonalds or something simple like that.
GPS are the worst. People travel without maps, without any basic directions now, absolutely the worst. Our guests are getting here later and later and later and wasting so much fuel as they drive in circles and off main roads wherever the gps tells them to go!
6PM check in is invariably 8pm-9pm, every time. Tonight will be a doozy on a holiday weekend.
 

Joey Camb

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STOP!
I have two ladies here from Indie right now! And guess what, no you won't believe it, they called from the interstate and said"We will be here around 7pm. Are you easy to find?"
I said, yes we are, just follow the directions on the confirmation.
"We don't have the confirmation"
Well your gps will get you here.
"We don't have a gps"
Well then look for the man in the orange vest standing in the middle of the road flagging you into to town! LOL
Seriously, they said "We thought when we got to town we would just look for your inn" Then they said "We will call you again when we are closer."
Uh no you won't..
And how big do they think your town is? two houses and a cow? LOL
 

Copperhead

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I WANT that!!!! It is so true, men do not want what I call helpful hints. One man said 'don't need that, just give me road names, distance and left or right'. - Later he called, he was 3 miles up the road. This time he decided to hear the landmarks!
 

JBloggs

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Yeah may be true but what better landmark than to say you have El Azteca Mexican restaurant on your corner. I mean, not wanting that info is just plain silly!
 

IronGate

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Yeah may be true but what better landmark than to say you have El Azteca Mexican restaurant on your corner. I mean, not wanting that info is just plain silly!.
Just make absolutely certain the landmark references remain up to date. "Turn where there used to be a big billboard" is not helpful.
We had directions once to an out-of-the way B&B that included "exit the round-about at the exit marked 'Ourtown and proceed 15 miles. Turn right at the post office and continue on 5 more miles. We're on the right.'" They did not give any road names. Unfortunately, after those directions were posted, another highway was built, and now there were TWO exits off the round-about to Ourtown. Of course we picked the wrong one, and it took us 15 miles to realize that. Then, there was nowhere to turn around for several more miles. Once we got to Ourtown, we drove past the "post office" at least four times before we spotted the 3"x15" "Post Office inside" sign on the side of the grocery store -- the side you cannot see when approaching from the round-about!
 

Alibi Ike

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Yeah may be true but what better landmark than to say you have El Azteca Mexican restaurant on your corner. I mean, not wanting that info is just plain silly!.
Just make absolutely certain the landmark references remain up to date. "Turn where there used to be a big billboard" is not helpful.
We had directions once to an out-of-the way B&B that included "exit the round-about at the exit marked 'Ourtown and proceed 15 miles. Turn right at the post office and continue on 5 more miles. We're on the right.'" They did not give any road names. Unfortunately, after those directions were posted, another highway was built, and now there were TWO exits off the round-about to Ourtown. Of course we picked the wrong one, and it took us 15 miles to realize that. Then, there was nowhere to turn around for several more miles. Once we got to Ourtown, we drove past the "post office" at least four times before we spotted the 3"x15" "Post Office inside" sign on the side of the grocery store -- the side you cannot see when approaching from the round-about!
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Or in the dark. We got directions that involved the PO as well. Which has all the lights off and the flag taken down after dark. What's obvious in the daytime is often not even visible at night.
I'm going to look over my directions again to see if I can humor-ize them. Not that anyone uses them any longer.
Had one old geezer (seriously, he was 90 if he was a day) give me heck when he walked in the door. My directions printed out like this: Take exit 10 off I 89. He thought he was supposed to get off I 89 at rte 189. So they wandered around for a bit until they realized there was no exit 10 on 189. (189 is a spur but it's hard to get back on if you don't know where it is.)
To head him off at the pass, I told him I would change the directions immediately and show them to him...I-89 instead of I 89. Amazing what just agreeing with someone can do to defuse a bad situation.
I knew where I was and never took into account someone coming from away would mistake the 'I' for a '1' and get off at the wrong place.
 

Joey Camb

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we are quite lucky as we are opposite 3 huge landmarks which are illuminated like Las Vegas day and night plus we are allowed illuminated signs on the front as well. People are daffy though.
 

JBloggs

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Yeah may be true but what better landmark than to say you have El Azteca Mexican restaurant on your corner. I mean, not wanting that info is just plain silly!.
Just make absolutely certain the landmark references remain up to date. "Turn where there used to be a big billboard" is not helpful.
We had directions once to an out-of-the way B&B that included "exit the round-about at the exit marked 'Ourtown and proceed 15 miles. Turn right at the post office and continue on 5 more miles. We're on the right.'" They did not give any road names. Unfortunately, after those directions were posted, another highway was built, and now there were TWO exits off the round-about to Ourtown. Of course we picked the wrong one, and it took us 15 miles to realize that. Then, there was nowhere to turn around for several more miles. Once we got to Ourtown, we drove past the "post office" at least four times before we spotted the 3"x15" "Post Office inside" sign on the side of the grocery store -- the side you cannot see when approaching from the round-about!
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IronGate said:
Just make absolutely certain the landmark references remain up to date. "Turn where there used to be a big billboard" is not helpful.
You just described directions from locals here...they call this Wolf Medical Building (that was 35 years ago) Just ran into someone last week who called it that. I said "Have you ever seen the big illuminated signs front and back that say Bed and Breakfast?" It has been a B&B for 22 years now. DOH!
 

Penelope

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I want to go there FOR THAT PAGE OF THEIR WEBSITE ALONE!
 

Copperhead

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Yeah may be true but what better landmark than to say you have El Azteca Mexican restaurant on your corner. I mean, not wanting that info is just plain silly!.
Just make absolutely certain the landmark references remain up to date. "Turn where there used to be a big billboard" is not helpful.
We had directions once to an out-of-the way B&B that included "exit the round-about at the exit marked 'Ourtown and proceed 15 miles. Turn right at the post office and continue on 5 more miles. We're on the right.'" They did not give any road names. Unfortunately, after those directions were posted, another highway was built, and now there were TWO exits off the round-about to Ourtown. Of course we picked the wrong one, and it took us 15 miles to realize that. Then, there was nowhere to turn around for several more miles. Once we got to Ourtown, we drove past the "post office" at least four times before we spotted the 3"x15" "Post Office inside" sign on the side of the grocery store -- the side you cannot see when approaching from the round-about!
.
IronGate said:
Just make absolutely certain the landmark references remain up to date. "Turn where there used to be a big billboard" is not helpful.
You just described directions from locals here...they call this Wolf Medical Building (that was 35 years ago) Just ran into someone last week who called it that. I said "Have you ever seen the big illuminated signs front and back that say Bed and Breakfast?" It has been a B&B for 22 years now. DOH!
.
Joey Bloggs said:
IronGate said:
Just make absolutely certain the landmark references remain up to date. "Turn where there used to be a big billboard" is not helpful.
You just described directions from locals here...they call this Wolf Medical Building (that was 35 years ago) Just ran into someone last week who called it that. I said "Have you ever seen the big illuminated signs front and back that say Bed and Breakfast?" It has been a B&B for 22 years now. DOH!
Locals are another animal all together. There is a road here called Rat's Nest Road when I moved here 29 years ago that is all I ever heard, until 6 years ago after a large storm flatened everything on it and the media kept referring to it as Lakeshore Drive. Finally looking at a map I saw the real name. Started talking to the 'real' locals and no one can tell me how it got it's name. Old houses are the same way... they take on the original family name and no matter who owns it it is still the 'Baker' House....
 

sandynn

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Oh my gosh. This the funnest thing I have seen in a while. I loved it. Only wished I had thought of it. This is exactly how I give directions. This is exactly how I want directions for myself.
 

Samster

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One of my new favorite lines that I say to my dh, "I don't speak (insert your significant other's name here)!"
Apologies to the gents on the forum, but our brains just don't work like yours when it comes to directions.
 

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