How do you politely say -

[Morticia]

- Please don't light up right under my open windows?
I'm afraid I'm a bit abrupt about that when I see people get out of the car and immediately light up and stand right next to MY open windows. Now my side of the house reeks. Gomez says I'm too short with the guests. (I've gone out in my pajamas to tell them that, not winning any awards here for grace and tact.)
I did explain it is not my rule, but a state regulation. But, very abruptly.

 

[Copperhead]

Do you have a sign outside where they can smoke?

If not, I would put up a smoking post with a bucket (or such) to place their butts in. Maybe a sign stating no smoking except where indicated.

 

[Morticia]

The closest they can smoke is 25 feet from the building. This one jumped out of the car, lit up, and walked to my side of the house where I wouldn't normally have a sign.
I hate to plaster signs all over the yard. Maybe I will add it to my arrival email. I have gotten a lot of comments on that this summer, saying it was very helpful.

 

[Arks]

There will always be a few exceptions who slip past the usual signage. Just press on like you're Innkeep, playing her new stage role. ACT like you're killing them with kindness though, of course, you'd rather strangle them for real.

 

[TheBeachHouse]

I’m with Copper. Make a designated smoking area. So instead of telling them what they can’t do, you are happily directing them to a place where they can.
Ours is a small picnic table in the driveway area. Not beautiful, on the wrong side of the house from the view, but good enough.

 

[Generic]

We indicate that there is no smoking on our property, please smoke on the sidewalk.

 

[Morticia]

Follow up on my abruptness - Had good conversations with the guests over the past few days. Helped them plan lots of things to do for the remaining week of their vacation. Housekeeper goes to clean the room and finds a bottle of very nice wine and a card thanking us for everything. And a note saying their vacation was so much more enjoyable due to all the help we gave them finding the out of way things to do and see.
I never had the chance to apologize as there were always other guests around. These guests left the keys in the room and just drove off. (Not usually a good sign!)

 

[NC Innkeeper]

I have been pondering putting together a little page to place in the guest rooms.
" Thinks to know while staying at a Bed and Breakfast " It would list the usually stuff we all wished guest knew but apparently do not.
Problem is; will they read it and if they do and still do not apply this new found knowledge I have given them will that piss me off even more so.
Where oh where has common knowledge gone.

 

[Arks]

I have been pondering putting together a little page to place in the guest rooms.
" Thinks to know while staying at a Bed and Breakfast " It would list the usually stuff we all wished guest knew but apparently do not.
Problem is; will they read it and if they do and still do not apply this new found knowledge I have given them will that piss me off even more so.
Where oh where has common knowledge gone..

Problem is; will they read it

I think we all know the answer to that one!

 

[gillumhouse]

Just in case you did not know the answer to the question "Will they read it?" The answer all "seasoned innkeepers" knows is HELL NO!!!

 

[Generic]

I have been pondering putting together a little page to place in the guest rooms.
" Thinks to know while staying at a Bed and Breakfast " It would list the usually stuff we all wished guest knew but apparently do not.
Problem is; will they read it and if they do and still do not apply this new found knowledge I have given them will that piss me off even more so.
Where oh where has common knowledge gone..

We have found that when you add a little humour, they sort of hint that they read it. They sometimes mention my kitchen rule

 

[GoodScout]

I was reading a thread on the Airbnb subreddit thread, and hosts were listing all the things guests had to be told that you'd think any considerate guest would know beforehand. Some of them are hysterical, and I can't deny getting some schadenfreude out if it.
Among my favorites:

• No taking furniture outside
• No moving mattresses
• No glitter or confetti
• Close windows before turning on heat or AC
• Don't put electric kettle on the gas stove
• No bath bombs
• No driving in the yard
• No hair dyeing
• Don't use curry
• No playing guitar after 10pm
• Don't leave shellfish or fish waste in the house

 

[Morticia]

I was reading a thread on the Airbnb subreddit thread, and hosts were listing all the things guests had to be told that you'd think any considerate guest would know beforehand. Some of them are hysterical, and I can't deny getting some schadenfreude out if it.
Among my favorites:

• No taking furniture outside
• No moving mattresses
• No glitter or confetti
• Close windows before turning on heat or AC
• Don't put electric kettle on the gas stove
• No bath bombs
• No driving in the yard
• No hair dyeing
• Don't use curry
• No playing guitar after 10pm
• Don't leave shellfish or fish waste in the house

.

We've had guests take things from other rooms 'assuming' no one was going to check in because it was 4 PM and the room was empty still.
That window closing thing gets me, too. It's one of the reasons we don't turn the gas on to the fireplaces until next week. (Altho, with 80 degree temps the other day, even next week might be too soon.)

 

[NC Innkeeper]

Now with the "flushable" wipes I am having to say something about those in my intro. As awkward as it might be at least I know you heard me say "do not flush these".
I let guest know we are on a well and septic, the look of either really or so what gets me. Falls under ignorance, meaning the unfamiliarity with either of these two items.

 

[JimBoone]

Just in case you did not know the answer to the question "Will they read it?" The answer all "seasoned innkeepers" knows is HELL NO!!!.

Just in case you did not know the answer to the question "Will they read it?" The answer all "seasoned innkeepers" knows is HELL NO!!!

"Will they read it?" you're correct, but I do try to temp them. The "book" is on the bed, they will have to pick it up to move it, that at least gets the horse to the water. If they want to watch TV and don't have my brand of satellite receiver at home, instructions are in the book, if they choose to use WIFI, gonna have to look at "the book", hopefully the book is attractive and offers restaurants, menus, and some useful area information to temp them to at least glance through "the book", that was suggested to them at check in, of course one guest was on his second or third visit before asking for personal instruction for turning on the TV.

 

[TheBeachHouse]

Just in case you did not know the answer to the question "Will they read it?" The answer all "seasoned innkeepers" knows is HELL NO!!!.

Just in case you did not know the answer to the question "Will they read it?" The answer all "seasoned innkeepers" knows is HELL NO!!!

"Will they read it?" you're correct, but I do try to temp them. The "book" is on the bed, they will have to pick it up to move it, that at least gets the horse to the water. If they want to watch TV and don't have my brand of satellite receiver at home, instructions are in the book, if they choose to use WIFI, gonna have to look at "the book", hopefully the book is attractive and offers restaurants, menus, and some useful area information to temp them to at least glance through "the book", that was suggested to them at check in, of course one guest was on his second or third visit before asking for personal instruction for turning on the TV.
.

Just in case you did not know the answer to the question "Will they read it?" The answer all "seasoned innkeepers" knows is HELL NO!!!

"Will they read it?" you're correct, but I do try to temp them. The "book" is on the bed, they will have to pick it up to move it, that at least gets the horse to the water. If they want to watch TV and don't have my brand of satellite receiver at home, instructions are in the book, if they choose to use WIFI, gonna have to look at "the book", hopefully the book is attractive and offers restaurants, menus, and some useful area information to temp them to at least glance through "the book", that was suggested to them at check in, of course one guest was on his second or third visit before asking for personal instruction for turning on the TV.

i always know who has read the book because I hide a joke in there and they always comment. Under “house policies” there is a no smoking bullet, a no unregistered guest bullet and one that says please don’t feed the fish or the cat. The cat is lying when she tells you we don’t feed her.

 

[gaelstorm]

When I was considering trading my motel on the coast for the Howdy Hotel in Forsyth, Montana, I had a conversation with the old German owner about making this kind of list because by the time you add all the weird things to do it starts to be too much. Adding things all the time. It seems folks come up with innovative things to do WRONG all the time Lists like this start to be grist for the news of the weird
.