How honest have you been able to stay as an innkeeper

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Penelope

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Do you find that it's easy to let little white lies slip past becuase you know that the person on the other end of the line won't know the difference? Edited to take out the part about food because it was only an example and it really didn't mean anything anyway, but it's what caught most repliers' eye.
Do you fudge the truth when retelling a guest encoutner so that you seem more long-suffering or for a smidge more pity?
How do you keep your sense of integrity when the "who" that you might be lying to won't ever know that they've been lied to? How about when dealing with your spouse (significant other)? How do you stay honest with them when they ask if you've renewed such and such or if you offered a package that will require a little more work but you say that they asked for it?
How do YOU stay honest and maintain your own integrity when the checks and balances system is iffy?
Do you really mean what you say or do you just say it so that it sounds good?
 
We use fresh ingredients when available. Period. People won't expect fresh blueberries in December. But we are very lucky in that we have wonderful local farms. I firmly believe that if you claim to use fresh and don't that it can be detected. I see that all the time in evals when they report on the breakfasts they are served. People are not dumb.
RIki
 
What a strange thread. Those who lie will lie to you on this thread.
Personally, I would not like the liars to fess up here or we might change our opinions of them. Just my 2 cents. I have a child who is a compulsive liar and deal with it on a daily basis. Nothing sends me through the roof faster and makes me lose confidence in a person.
How about guests lying? Now there is a topic. We can all state situations when the lies are in your face and you know they are lying to you but they are guests, are we allowed to call THEM liars and cheaters? NO.
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Honesty.... I've got to be able to look at myself in the mirror on a routine basis... I really don't like the person I see if I've been dishonest. I like to work with these principles: before I open my mouth, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind. Do I always do this? No, but I am a work in progress! And when I've not been 100%, then I live the consequences - I get a chance to review it, make amends if necessary, and try to do better the next time. I don't want to set myself up to where I'm going to have to lie to cover - we do serve quality foods... if we use frozen blueberries, I know they are still quality foods. If I advertise serving fresh, then I'm obligated to do just that. If fresh blueberries are not available, then I'm also obligated to adjust the menu to use something else that is...
 
I am not asking about lying.
I am asking how do you keep yourself from falling into that trap?
 
I think I have stayed at least 95% honest. Everyone stretches something along the way - to make someone feel good or to avoid a "discussion" that will just be a waste of time.
You combined a lot of things in this. Guests & spouse? Personal & System?
Guests: I say I serve low-fat, low cholesterol, and i do. I use more egg whites than whole eggs and I never use shortening in anything other than icing. I use premium juices. I may sometimes use what I call "let's get rid of it" fruit - but it is good or I would never use it. We get much of our produce from this rack - it is the stuff that will not be good tomorrow or is bruised. I rarely get "burned" with the basket.
DH is another animal entirely. My grandmother had a saying: If you have a good man, you keep one eye shut. If you have a bad man, you keep both eyes shut. I rarely stretch things, but if possible, if I know it pushes a button, will just say nothing. Mom said, what he does not know will not hurt him. IMPORTANT things - he gets told whether he remembers I told him or not, I DO tell all. I have a good man so there is not too much I have to keep to myself.
To me, my reputation is the most important thing I have and I do not want anyone to ever question my honesty or sincerity. My word IS my bond.
Edited to add: if I serve blueberries they are fresh blueberries tha tI threw into the freezer. My pumpkin is what I cooked down and froze to preserve.
 
I am not asking about lying.
I am asking how do you keep yourself from falling into that trap? .
penelope said:
I am not asking about lying.
I am asking how do you keep yourself from falling into that trap?
?
.
How do you keep yourself from allowing lies to come out of your mouth? Plain and simple. Others have been able to respond to the question
 
I can't imagine the amount of energy it would consume to have to make up lies on top of all the work we do. We simply do the best we can, every day. I would never want to build up a guest's expectations and then have them be disappointed once they get here...it's much better to have them be so surprised when things are even better than they'd hoped.
My best compliment that we get is "It looks just like your website". Because it does, period.
Blueberries that are picked fresh and then frozen I would still consider fresh when I use them in a pancake or muffin. Maybe you consider that dishonest. We NEVER do anything because it's "cheapest"...we do the opposite, use the best we can afford in all situations...it ends up costing you less in the long run to use quality.
 
I am not asking about lying.
I am asking how do you keep yourself from falling into that trap? .
penelope said:
I am not asking about lying.
I am asking how do you keep yourself from falling into that trap?
?
.
How do you keep yourself from allowing lies to come out of your mouth? Plain and simple. Others have been able to respond to the question
.
penelope said:
How do you keep yourself from allowing lies to come out of your mouth? Plain and simple. Others have been able to respond to the question
Sorry you said it was not about lying, but it is all about lying, I didn't understand what you meant.
 
I don't make such claims.
We make homemade, from scratch breakfasts... except for the fillo dough and puff pastry (I have my limits). We use local eggs as available (sometimes the chickens can't keep up!). I buy as much as I can from Aldi, then Wal-Mart, and then go to the expensive store for decent berries. If someone asks, I tell them. I've even admitted to a few select guests that we're "all about the flash that doesn't cost cash."
But really, what you're asking here... you either do or you don't. And you either did or you didn't before you were an innkeeper. It's either who you are or it isn't.
I grew up in a family that told white lies, gray lies, convenient lies... natural at spinning the truth. I married a man who is incapable of lying. (He has other sins to make up for it.) He is incapable of understanding how my family can say what they say. I hear what my family says and figure out what they really mean.
Even though I grew up that way, I made a choice a long time ago that I won't lie anymore. (I suspect it annoys my family, but oh well.) What I can do is change the subject, be vague, ask a question, or make a joke instead.
But really, we are who we are and people can like us or not. If someone expresses astonishment on how clean our B&B is while we have small children I freely admit that our private areas are completely trashed. We're human, and our guests seem to appreciate it. If they want somewhere pretentious, there are plenty of other B&B's to choose from.
=)
Kk.
 
Let it be said that I am not judging anyone. I have no expectations regarding these answers. I am simply curious.
 
Let it be said that I am not judging anyone. I have no expectations regarding these answers. I am simply curious..
penelope said:
Let it be said that I am not judging anyone. I have no expectations regarding these answers. I am simply curious.
I didn't think you were (judging anyone)... and I can understand how the question arises.
=)
Kk.
 
This is my favorite statement for today thanks to KK:
But really, what you're asking here... you either do or you don't. And you either did or you didn't before you were an innkeeper. It's either who you are or it isn't.
Sounds like a go-round (as mentioned) on a daily basis here.
String em up! Hang em out to dry. There is no excuse to lie, ever, it is always wrong, in every situation. Think of something else to say if you have to spill a lie out of your mouth. Yes, as you can see I am firm on this. TRUST is important.
Off to shop my fresh strawberries and storebought eggs. Wish I had farm fresh eggs - I used to serve them and was told on the old forum they aren't approved by USDA and therefore dangerous - oddly enough the man I bought them from works for the USDA and had chickens for his kids 4-H project.
shades_smile.gif
 
You shouldn't lie. Period. It's not only a testament to your business integrity, but to your personal integrity. "Because no one will know" is not an excuse. Lying becomes cumulative, habitual and can creep into your own life.
If you have to mislead customers about something as trivial as breakfast ingredients then there's something wrong. How are you supposed to use fresh ingredients out of season anyway? Everyone uses frozen ingredients from time to time.
Unless you're billing yourself as a 5-star eating establishment, I don't see the point. If you have to bolster your businesses image by fibbing, then don't fib; up your game and deliver what you promise.
The best way around this is to not say anything at all. We advertise breakfast as "hearty" or "full country breakfast" We make no claims as to how it was prepared. We just don't tell all we know. It's like Disneyland behind the scenes. If you knew how it was all done, it would ruin the magic.
 
This is my favorite statement for today thanks to KK:
But really, what you're asking here... you either do or you don't. And you either did or you didn't before you were an innkeeper. It's either who you are or it isn't.
Sounds like a go-round (as mentioned) on a daily basis here.
String em up! Hang em out to dry. There is no excuse to lie, ever, it is always wrong, in every situation. Think of something else to say if you have to spill a lie out of your mouth. Yes, as you can see I am firm on this. TRUST is important.
Off to shop my fresh strawberries and storebought eggs. Wish I had farm fresh eggs - I used to serve them and was told on the old forum they aren't approved by USDA and therefore dangerous - oddly enough the man I bought them from works for the USDA and had chickens for his kids 4-H project.
shades_smile.gif
.
Tomorrow we will get our first delivery of local dairy...very cool place and they sell raw milk (unpasteurized and unhomogenized) which I think is DELICIOUS but I'm sure I would put the hurt on a few of our guests if I served it!!!
 
This is my favorite statement for today thanks to KK:
But really, what you're asking here... you either do or you don't. And you either did or you didn't before you were an innkeeper. It's either who you are or it isn't.
Sounds like a go-round (as mentioned) on a daily basis here.
String em up! Hang em out to dry. There is no excuse to lie, ever, it is always wrong, in every situation. Think of something else to say if you have to spill a lie out of your mouth. Yes, as you can see I am firm on this. TRUST is important.
Off to shop my fresh strawberries and storebought eggs. Wish I had farm fresh eggs - I used to serve them and was told on the old forum they aren't approved by USDA and therefore dangerous - oddly enough the man I bought them from works for the USDA and had chickens for his kids 4-H project.
shades_smile.gif
.
Tomorrow we will get our first delivery of local dairy...very cool place and they sell raw milk (unpasteurized and unhomogenized) which I think is DELICIOUS but I'm sure I would put the hurt on a few of our guests if I served it!!!
.
raw milk is the best. Every time I drink it I have a flash back in my childhood as my grandmother went with my to a farmer just 4 houses away from us and we got fresh milk… I loved it.
Honestly I can’t understand how some people can drink milk with 1% or even 0% fat. I just call it colored water… it's just the way if there is fat inside it's tastefull. can you imagine a 1% or 0% fat rib eye steak? I dont think it will taste.
 
I'm nearly brutally honest, gets me in trouble with some of my in-law family sometimes. People who require constant butt kissing don't like me. I know I can be honest with my husband, and that he is with me.
I sometimes tell little white ones to guests, like "I'd better go check on the cook, and see if he needs help" to get away from a detaining morning conversation (I know he does NOT need my help unless it's serving time). I will also answer "of course" (and then chuckle) when guests ask if dessert was made from scratch. I use mixes all the time for dessert, but then throw all kinds of my own stuff at it to gussy it up. I don't think that makes them (or me) inferior. I get the same great reviews for my food here that the real foodie inns do. If the guests are happy, I'm happy.
 
Falling into the trap...etc..etc... I'am too darn busy to worry. With 2 full time jobs. Just tell it like it is ,if this does not suit, a customer can book elsewhere. Give them a Good Product at a Fair Price....honestly.If one is not satisfied,as I said they can go to another B&B, motel, etc. Toooo busy...Mary in Bridgewater.
 
Falling into the trap...etc..etc... I'am too darn busy to worry. With 2 full time jobs. Just tell it like it is ,if this does not suit, a customer can book elsewhere. Give them a Good Product at a Fair Price....honestly.If one is not satisfied,as I said they can go to another B&B, motel, etc. Toooo busy...Mary in Bridgewater..
Honestly is always the best policy.
cheers.gif

 
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