Is your place nice? Is the room comfortable?

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Copperhead

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What are the crazy questions you get asked?

Lets come up with some great replies - replies we can actually use too.
 

Generic

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Can you walk around the neighbourhood? Can you walk at night?
 

Madeleine

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Do you have a bar?
No, but there are days I wish I did.
 

Mini

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Have you ever had any repeat guests???? (Hopefully you will be our first return guest, dah!)
Could we have a look at the breakfast menu???
Who does your cleaning???? (Hum, why did you notice some dust)
Has this always been a b & b???? You mean since 1902 (before there were any)
 

Country Girl

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My favorite is "What do people do who live around here?" Like we are in the backwoods of nowhere! Well, we are in a small town, but we are not that far from the Big City!
 

Generic

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Can you move that guest to another room so that we can have that one?
Why can't I park there? (Pointing to any spot on the street) - Because they absolutely think that the parking signs don't apply to them.. ever!
Can I leave the car there for a few minutes? - Sure you can, but you can also pay the ticket if they come by.... and they will. We had a man caught during the time he dawdled going to pee.
 

Flower

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Just got one last night. They came to my door. May we see your rooms. I was here early in the day but you were not home. Sorry but we had an appointment. Check in is between 4 and 6. Please follow me. They come around the corner. Wow what a lovely views. Thank you. I open doors One comes in and says can I come in like this? It is pouring rain there feet are wet. I said sure just avoid ! the rug please. Then the other one said It too big for us??? I was gob smacked. he just poked his head in and said in Germany this is too big. I understood him I think he was surprised. This your space we do not come here till we knock on the door to serve you your breakfast in the morning. Oh well it is too big. Ok thinking it was price related so I offered him the other suite which was much lower. He said it is the same size.. no a wee bit smaller. No and walked off.. Go figure!??
 

Arks

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Can you move that guest to another room so that we can have that one?
Why can't I park there? (Pointing to any spot on the street) - Because they absolutely think that the parking signs don't apply to them.. ever!
Can I leave the car there for a few minutes? - Sure you can, but you can also pay the ticket if they come by.... and they will. We had a man caught during the time he dawdled going to pee..
Jon Sable said:
Why can't I park there?
Wait right there while I connect you to the police department so you can ask them.
 

gillumhouse

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Have you ever had any repeat guests???? (Hopefully you will be our first return guest, dah!)
Could we have a look at the breakfast menu???
Who does your cleaning???? (Hum, why did you notice some dust)
Has this always been a b & b???? You mean since 1902 (before there were any).
Have you ever had any repeat guests????
On his 4th visit, a guest stated he must be my most frequent guest - that he must have been here more times than anyone else. I guess I deflated him when I told he wasn't. I guess I should have smiled and said, Yes, you are! Honesty spoke before my brain kicked in.
 

seashanty

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Do you live here all alone?! (Yes, but I have armed guards who patrol the grounds at night)
Will you tuck me into bed? (Right after I whack you with this frying pan)

seriously ... I am amazed that a guest would ask if your beds are comfortable.
 

Joey Camb

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you missed my person favourite - what do you do in the afternoons?
 

Silverspoon

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One just called: Are your beds old? (How old is old?) 10 years she says. (No, ours are only 8 years old
)
Are your beds soft? (We have a firm mattress with a memory foam topper..that can be removed it the topper is too soft for you
) Yes, but will I feel my husband move in the bed. (Oiy!) (How the heck should I know lady!!)
And then there was the one last week who was staying in the cottage but roaming around the house, actually in another suite of the main house, at 9 pm. "Where is the ice machine...we need more ice....why don't you have an ice machine????" The same broad just called, having left a couple of items behind. "Did you find my shampoo and flat iron ?" (Yes, I have your flat iron but we do not save left over personal products.) "Well...that was my favorite shampoo" I mean really, what do you say to that?
 

Generic

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One just called: Are your beds old? (How old is old?) 10 years she says. (No, ours are only 8 years old
)
Are your beds soft? (We have a firm mattress with a memory foam topper..that can be removed it the topper is too soft for you
) Yes, but will I feel my husband move in the bed. (Oiy!) (How the heck should I know lady!!)
And then there was the one last week who was staying in the cottage but roaming around the house, actually in another suite of the main house, at 9 pm. "Where is the ice machine...we need more ice....why don't you have an ice machine????" The same broad just called, having left a couple of items behind. "Did you find my shampoo and flat iron ?" (Yes, I have your flat iron but we do not save left over personal products.) "Well...that was my favorite shampoo" I mean really, what do you say to that?.
How much is she going to spend to get this back?
 

EmptyNest

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One just called: Are your beds old? (How old is old?) 10 years she says. (No, ours are only 8 years old
)
Are your beds soft? (We have a firm mattress with a memory foam topper..that can be removed it the topper is too soft for you
) Yes, but will I feel my husband move in the bed. (Oiy!) (How the heck should I know lady!!)
And then there was the one last week who was staying in the cottage but roaming around the house, actually in another suite of the main house, at 9 pm. "Where is the ice machine...we need more ice....why don't you have an ice machine????" The same broad just called, having left a couple of items behind. "Did you find my shampoo and flat iron ?" (Yes, I have your flat iron but we do not save left over personal products.) "Well...that was my favorite shampoo" I mean really, what do you say to that?.
Do you want me to go out and buy a replacement for you ??? GGGGGRRRRRR

Ask her to send you a check or bill her charge card with the shipping cost to send back the flat iron.
 

gillumhouse

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One just called: Are your beds old? (How old is old?) 10 years she says. (No, ours are only 8 years old
)
Are your beds soft? (We have a firm mattress with a memory foam topper..that can be removed it the topper is too soft for you
) Yes, but will I feel my husband move in the bed. (Oiy!) (How the heck should I know lady!!)
And then there was the one last week who was staying in the cottage but roaming around the house, actually in another suite of the main house, at 9 pm. "Where is the ice machine...we need more ice....why don't you have an ice machine????" The same broad just called, having left a couple of items behind. "Did you find my shampoo and flat iron ?" (Yes, I have your flat iron but we do not save left over personal products.) "Well...that was my favorite shampoo" I mean really, what do you say to that?.
How much is she going to spend to get this back?
.
If she is like the ones I have shipped to - nothing, not even a thank you
 

Mini

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you missed my person favourite - what do you do in the afternoons?.
Ya just last week I had
"Now that breakfast is over, what do you do for the rest of the day"?
I watch soap operas cause I am pretty much done for the day, dah
 

MountainMystery

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I'm a senior, AARP member, AAA member and retired military, so I get a 40% discount, right? (Meaning 4 combined 10% discounts...)
ummm.... NO!
 

Madeleine

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I'm a senior, AARP member, AAA member and retired military, so I get a 40% discount, right? (Meaning 4 combined 10% discounts...)
ummm.... NO!.
Oh yes, the multiple discounts! I used to tell them they only get one, pick which one they want. That led to asking which one was better.
Now we just say no discounts we're very competitively priced.
Had one last year who wanted 50% off because that's what the Hilton was going to give her. I told her to take the Hilton's offer because I knew she was going to pay more to stay there with the discount than here without.
 
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