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Don Draper

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Vent warning!
We have a couple who spent New Year's Eve with us 5 years ago (our first as innkeepers). As we were foolish newbies we made a package of it and actually had a little cocktail party here (noisemakers, hats, food champagne) and ended up basically being the show for the whole night for everyone who was here. This particular couple, while indeed very sweet, are SO CLINGY. That night they never left our side.
In the 5 years since, they have NEVER ONCE stayed here with us again. They only live about 1.5 hours away and come to our area frequently for day trips, and every time they do we get a surprise visit from them. Yesterday we got one of their infamous drive-by visits. We are trying to get people checked in and DH is dealing with leaves and here they come.
You CANNOT gracefully get rid of them. They talk, then you talk, then you try to say "Ok well, I'm going to go grab the mail and get back to work" and they just STAND THERE. They were here for AN HOUR!!!!!!!
I just can't get my mind around what makes people think that anyone would welcome this kind of intrusion in their day. Our own families know they better give us at LEAST a week's notice, no drop-ins. Would you EVER do this to someone????
 

wendydk

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Maybe they were hoping for a drink, snacks and entertainment!
 

EmptyNest

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NEVER !
I would just say "sorry we are just too busy right now to socialize." Come back and stay with us sometime...NOT REALLY...ha ha.. then turn around and head for the house and lock the door.
 

bbinnsitters

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To answer your question I would never do this to someone, but then I was raised to NEVER drop in - you must always call first. I have since learned that if you are real friends you can drop in (you might not feel like real friends with this couple - but they might think differently since they spent NYEve with you)
Look on the bright side - they are only staying an hour - not two nights = 48 hours!!! And if they book for New Years make sure they understand that you don't do the entertaining anymore (unless of course you do!) In which case I might come visit as we are trying to figure out what to do this year! Anybody near a ski resort in MN?
You could always try the trick of having the kitchen timer in hand when you see them coming - ding, gotta go...and then never come back outside again. They'll eventually get the hint and leave.
 

Samster

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Dropping in on someone for a visit is quite common here. It's accepted social practice whether you're good friends, just neighbors, or maybe even mere acquaintances. It is actually considered more rude to decline the visit or give someone the bum's rush. I'm not saying that it's the right way to behave socially or that I agree with it, but that's what's more the norm here in the South. You're also expected to offer some kind of refreshments when someone stops by.
 

JBloggs

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The "too nice innkeeper" syndrome. This was when you were new and didn't know any better. HA HA! When guests think you are now their friends because you are hospitable, friendly and nice people.
I can officially say I have a new signature line for my B&B, after this weekend. I just looked at the three new rooms for tonight and saw this note, so it really made me laugh. Here it is, ready or not:
"allergic to NUTS"
 

Don Draper

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The "too nice innkeeper" syndrome. This was when you were new and didn't know any better. HA HA! When guests think you are now their friends because you are hospitable, friendly and nice people.
I can officially say I have a new signature line for my B&B, after this weekend. I just looked at the three new rooms for tonight and saw this note, so it really made me laugh. Here it is, ready or not:
"allergic to NUTS".
Oh, how badly would you like to use that as your tag line??? Any time I take a phone reso, if the person says they are allergic to nuts and they sound like they have half a sense of humor I always say "So are we"! If you get no response you know what you're dealing with.
So this morning TWO MORE SETS of previous guests have just "dropped by to say hello"! At least these two both tried to stay with us this weekend but we were booked. The original people I started the thread about will NEVER stay again, because the first time it was deeply discounted and they're too cheap to stay at regular price.
I was incredibly short with them yesterday, because they had already held DH captive for close to 45 minutes outside BEFORE they rang the doorbell to say hello to me...I just said I had to get back.
We are tired people, can you please let us have our lousy 1-2 hours of alone time per day to OURSELVES??? Or PAY TO STAY, then you get my company at least for a little while.
 

Don Draper

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To answer your question I would never do this to someone, but then I was raised to NEVER drop in - you must always call first. I have since learned that if you are real friends you can drop in (you might not feel like real friends with this couple - but they might think differently since they spent NYEve with you)
Look on the bright side - they are only staying an hour - not two nights = 48 hours!!! And if they book for New Years make sure they understand that you don't do the entertaining anymore (unless of course you do!) In which case I might come visit as we are trying to figure out what to do this year! Anybody near a ski resort in MN?
You could always try the trick of having the kitchen timer in hand when you see them coming - ding, gotta go...and then never come back outside again. They'll eventually get the hint and leave..
We may not even stay open for NYE this year, we are not walking distance to any bars so won't get any revelers, might get some general weekend traffic.
I have to say, my "real friends" are mostly innkeepers now, and I would NEVER drop in on them and would certainly hope they would give me the same consideration!!!
 

gillumhouse

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I had a neighbor I pal;ed around with in Illinois while she lived next door. Any time I would go over, my first words were, "Are you home?" I explained from the get-go that just because you are in your house does NOT mean you are home to visitors. She knew NO, I am not was an acceptable answer.
I always try to call first. In my travels around the State, I may not know when I am going to be near a member B & B, so when I am I call - even from the gas station down the street - to ask if it is convenient for me to stop by and that no IS an acceptable answer.
I have also been the victim of a drop-in visit. Having been brought up with the "always welcome" I do try to welcome as if invited and just rush whatever to make up for it. If it is a good friend, I can and do say hello but i am up to my hoohaa today. Bye.
 

birdwatcher

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Maybe next time they come by you say that you need to get some work done and ask "gotta go get the rooms done, you're welcome to come help me, you can clean the bath while I make the bed...." or if you're doing yardwork, "Oh Im so glad to see you, can you rake while I prune over here-we can talk while we work"-I bet you they would not take you up on the "work" part, then say politely "It was wonderful to see you, but we have to get back to work-being an Innkeeper is a 24/7 job and we don't have much time in the busy season to chit chat.
This may work cause all of us know that most ordinary people don't really understand what innkeepers really do...
 

Joey Camb

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I am lucky as most of my friends are B&B or hotel people so know when the peak hours are and don't come in them or call in them (ie any day before 11am) they also know if I say I am in the middle of something they are usually willing to pitch in an help and have the relevant skills to do so. People from the real (non B&B world) drive me mad ringing in the middle of breakfast stuff like that real friends and relatives know better.(we have them trained)
 

Breakfast Diva

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DH and I were having this conversation just last week. He grew up in the south and sees no problem with people just dropping in. It drives me batty...I think it's rude and I would always call first if I were in the area and wouldn't just drop in on someone unless we were REALLY close friends.
Unfortunately, most of the time when you try to get rid of them politely, they either don't take the hint or somehow the conversation just keeps going and there goes your private time or even worse, puts you way behind schedule and now you're frantic to get it all done.
 

JBloggs

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BD I had this today, my first cup of coffee was on my desk, I had a headache and wanted to dive into it after 2 seatings, I really wanted that coffee, very difficult guests this weekend and it was one of those "they can't take social cues on how to just say BYE NOW!"
I am in my apron, stuff in my hands, doesn't matter...keep on talkin'. People are pushing past us to leave and I am needing to say good bye to them. Rude innkeeper just standing there talking to someone else and letting us leave without a farewell! I am sure this is what the guests thought.
I don't answer the phone during breakfast, ever. My sister in Ireland would call and say "Are you busy or in the middle of something...blah blah blah" and on and on she would go, never waiting for the answer. UH yeah I am actually. I would speak over her. Made no difference. So the phone is never answered during breakfast. We have an answering machine, leave a message people.
End of October is not the best time to want to chat to an innkeeper anyway. I am done chatting. haha
 

Breakfast Diva

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I hear ya JB. Drives me crazy. Friday, in the middle of getting things organized for a small intimate wedding that evening, guests are already checked-in, getting ready. Someone drives up...two women get out of their car. So they don't come to the door, I go to them in the parking area...oh, they just wanted to come see the place. The older woman used to live in the shack next door (then a farm hand shack when this place was a farm) 60 years ago. They want to yack, yack, yack....I take them to the shack which is now totally covered in vines and brush behind a barbed wire fence. It makes her day, I smile and try to excuse myself and tell them I have to get back to the wedding preparations, but do they respect that? NOOOOOOO....chatter, chatter, chatttttttter. I pried myself away and I tell them next time they're in the area, please call us first...or better yet, stay with us. Yeah, right. These people never stay. They just don't get it.
I hope you get a little rest soon.
 

Alibi Ike

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I would not do this to someone. In fact, I took a drive the other day that brought me past a B&B where I know the owner online but have never met in person and dithered about stopping. Were they busy? Would they mind? I drove on.
There are guests who call here to talk. It is very difficult to get them off the phone. In person it is even more difficult to ask them to leave. One in particular knows the routine. Invention is required when she shows up as she knows to come in between 1-3 when it is our quiet time.
 

Don Draper

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I would not do this to someone. In fact, I took a drive the other day that brought me past a B&B where I know the owner online but have never met in person and dithered about stopping. Were they busy? Would they mind? I drove on.
There are guests who call here to talk. It is very difficult to get them off the phone. In person it is even more difficult to ask them to leave. One in particular knows the routine. Invention is required when she shows up as she knows to come in between 1-3 when it is our quiet time..
Alibi Ike said:
she shows up as she knows to come in between 1-3 when it is our quiet time.
See, that is a TRUE stalker...it completely creeps me out when guests comment on that fact that one of our cars was or wasn't here, "Oh, where did you go yesterday?" and the like.
Someone knowing your schedule and purposely showing up to "visit" without a call...SO CREEPY. Get a life people!!!!
 
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