Passive Aggressive and Guilt

[Madeleine]

I tried, maybe stupidly, to see if I could repair it, saying that we can't change the past, but to assume the best and to come to breakfast. From the actions, I have to assume that I was rebuffed.
So, MoH lost ten hours of pay over this, because he stayed home one day and went into work late another day. I've been hiding in my own house like a rat. I've had nothing but the best of intents but no matter what I do, it's taken wrong. And of course considering that everyone else is happy and cheerful and having a great time here, they don't appear to have figured out that it is them. But I have no more effort to make, I said I was going to put it into the pass and lock it there and I am doing exactly that. And letting my MoH deal with it.
Definitely a hotel person. But of course, I can't say so, because of course the message dies because of the messenger.
One more day... one more day... one more day.....

Yup, just let it go. For whatever reason they are not happy and you can't make them so. I know the feeling of not wanting to be in contact with guests who are annoying. Sometimes not wanting guests to think I'm keeping tabs on them.
Last night some of our guests came in as I was working in the dining room. I said, 'Hi! So what did you get up to today?' They answered with a big list of what they did. Later on I saw them again as I went into the kitchen. We started talking and they said they like B&B's but it's really hard when they come in the door and the innkeeper say, 'So, what did you get up to today?' (Yes, they repeated my exact words!)
I said, 'Why that's exactly what I said!' They replied, 'But not every time we came in the door. You only asked once. We've stayed places where we couldn't come and go without being asked what we were doing!'
I hate hiding out to avoid guests. Do you say hello whenever you see them? Ignore them? Nod your head? What are we supposed to do!?

 

[Madeleine]

I tried, maybe stupidly, to see if I could repair it, saying that we can't change the past, but to assume the best and to come to breakfast. From the actions, I have to assume that I was rebuffed.
So, MoH lost ten hours of pay over this, because he stayed home one day and went into work late another day. I've been hiding in my own house like a rat. I've had nothing but the best of intents but no matter what I do, it's taken wrong. And of course considering that everyone else is happy and cheerful and having a great time here, they don't appear to have figured out that it is them. But I have no more effort to make, I said I was going to put it into the pass and lock it there and I am doing exactly that. And letting my MoH deal with it.
Definitely a hotel person. But of course, I can't say so, because of course the message dies because of the messenger.
One more day... one more day... one more day.....

It's a good thing there are other happy guests in the house. At least that way you're not thinking you really are doing something wrong. All you can do is be polite when they leave tomorrow. Then have a good scream as they pull away!

 

[Copperhead]

I tried, maybe stupidly, to see if I could repair it, saying that we can't change the past, but to assume the best and to come to breakfast. From the actions, I have to assume that I was rebuffed.
So, MoH lost ten hours of pay over this, because he stayed home one day and went into work late another day. I've been hiding in my own house like a rat. I've had nothing but the best of intents but no matter what I do, it's taken wrong. And of course considering that everyone else is happy and cheerful and having a great time here, they don't appear to have figured out that it is them. But I have no more effort to make, I said I was going to put it into the pass and lock it there and I am doing exactly that. And letting my MoH deal with it.
Definitely a hotel person. But of course, I can't say so, because of course the message dies because of the messenger.
One more day... one more day... one more day.....

Now that you know you have tried everything, it is best to just let it go. People are strange. It could be many things that have made them bitter this trip, NOT necessarily your place or your actions. THEY need to put it all behind them and enjoy themselves but some can't do that.
They will be history in 24 hrs....

 

[Copperhead]

I tried, maybe stupidly, to see if I could repair it, saying that we can't change the past, but to assume the best and to come to breakfast. From the actions, I have to assume that I was rebuffed.
So, MoH lost ten hours of pay over this, because he stayed home one day and went into work late another day. I've been hiding in my own house like a rat. I've had nothing but the best of intents but no matter what I do, it's taken wrong. And of course considering that everyone else is happy and cheerful and having a great time here, they don't appear to have figured out that it is them. But I have no more effort to make, I said I was going to put it into the pass and lock it there and I am doing exactly that. And letting my MoH deal with it.
Definitely a hotel person. But of course, I can't say so, because of course the message dies because of the messenger.
One more day... one more day... one more day.....

Yup, just let it go. For whatever reason they are not happy and you can't make them so. I know the feeling of not wanting to be in contact with guests who are annoying. Sometimes not wanting guests to think I'm keeping tabs on them.
Last night some of our guests came in as I was working in the dining room. I said, 'Hi! So what did you get up to today?' They answered with a big list of what they did. Later on I saw them again as I went into the kitchen. We started talking and they said they like B&B's but it's really hard when they come in the door and the innkeeper say, 'So, what did you get up to today?' (Yes, they repeated my exact words!)
I said, 'Why that's exactly what I said!' They replied, 'But not every time we came in the door. You only asked once. We've stayed places where we couldn't come and go without being asked what we were doing!'
I hate hiding out to avoid guests. Do you say hello whenever you see them? Ignore them? Nod your head? What are we supposed to do!?
.

I said, 'Why that's exactly what I said!' They replied, 'But not every time we came in the door. You only asked once. We've stayed places where we couldn't come and go without being asked what we were doing!'
I hate hiding out to avoid guests. Do you say hello whenever you see them? Ignore them? Nod your head? What are we supposed to do!?

I have done the same for years and some quickly reply while others then feel it is an invitation to a long conversation. If once we get the brush, we understand and back off. I refuse to just ignore people when they pass but have learned to keep it down to the basics unless they embrace the communication. Always that fine line and you don't know that line unless they help you to know.

 

[Aussie Innkeeper]

If someone leaves you a $3 tip, do you take that as an insult?

 

[Generic]

If someone leaves you a $3 tip, do you take that as an insult?.

Not at all. Even a penny. I assume it's all they had.

 

[Madeleine]

If someone leaves you a $3 tip, do you take that as an insult?.

If someone leaves you a $3 tip, do you take that as an insult?

I need some context here. Did the guest stay for a week? A night? A weekend? Was the room refreshed everyday? Assuming you did nothing extra for the guest as you don't mention any extras, your $3 is $3 more than we ever get. So, no, I wouldn't be insulted by it. I might think it was a little cheap had they been there for a week. But we've had more guests leave nothing after a week's stay than leave $3.

 

[Breakfast Diva]

If someone leaves you a $3 tip, do you take that as an insult?.

I wouldn't consider it an insult. I think that a lot of folks leave something like that for housekeeping in a hotel.
I was floored today when I found a $20 tip left in the room from guests that I just couldn't connect with. Her favorite phrase was "can I request...." I guess they enjoyed their stay more than I thought they did. Most PITAs don't know they're PITAs so they never tip.

 

[Generic]

If someone leaves you a $3 tip, do you take that as an insult?.

If someone leaves you a $3 tip, do you take that as an insult?

I need some context here. Did the guest stay for a week? A night? A weekend? Was the room refreshed everyday? Assuming you did nothing extra for the guest as you don't mention any extras, your $3 is $3 more than we ever get. So, no, I wouldn't be insulted by it. I might think it was a little cheap had they been there for a week. But we've had more guests leave nothing after a week's stay than leave $3.
.

Sometimes all they leave is their local change. Now, leaving a single penny, that has a special significance in this country. Me, though, doesn't bother. I just figure they just had a local penny. Of course that won't last long, they are phasing out the penny.

 

[Olga]

If someone leaves you a $3 tip, do you take that as an insult?.

If someone leaves you a $3 tip, do you take that as an insult?

Having worked in a hotel as a housekeeper, weeks can go by with no tips. Then we can get a good spurt where we get a lot of tips (summer people seem to be more generous from what I experienced). $2, $3, and $5 seem to be the norm. One stay over guest left me $3 per night which was appreciated. My highest tip was $25 dollars and they told the front desk that they were very pleased with my service ... needless to say I was thrilled

 

[gillumhouse]

If someone leaves you a $3 tip, do you take that as an insult?.

I so rarely get a tip that whatever is nice. But yes, I would think they were abit cheap OR that was all they had in small bills. There is no way I would leave a $50 tip and there have been times that was the smallest bill I had - not on urpose, just neglected to get change because I did not realize that was the smallest bill..