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Signage Recommendations?

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Don Draper

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Ok, I meant to log in more often during our "off" season and be a little beacon of sunshine and happiness for all you dear souls on this forum who keep me sane. I instead spent the off-season traveling for leisure and visiting family and just sending you all good thoughts instead... sorry you got the short end of the stick!
We are fully "IN" season again and are off to the races of course with a multitude of issues. The most pressing is that we have decided to "rope off" a section of our rear patio (previously the entire thing was open to guests and I am just sick and tired of them pushing their noses up against my private living room window). I am wondering if anyone can recommend an exterior signage company that they have dealt with? I don't know how to describe it precisely but I'm envisioning a small gauge chain running across the length of the patio and then a small plastic or maybe aluminum sign that would hang over the chain (or bolt to it, I'm not sure what the options are). Any help is appreciated.
And the more fun part...how should I word it? "No guests beyond this point" seems a bit curt but certainly gets the point across. A restaurant friend suggested "Employees Only".
Thoughts?
Thank you oh wise ones! Hope you are all as busy as you want to be and as PITA-free as possible (you should be, I think all the PITAS are staying here this year...)
 

JunieBJones (JBJ)

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I guess my signature line on this forum would be appropriate for what my comment would be. A rope and a chain would MAKE people want to stick their greasy smudgey noses against the window.
Youc an try to just say "PRIVATE" but that lack of boundaries thing draws them out.
PS Welcome back! You have been missed. :)
 

YellowSocks

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On our off limit doors we say
Private
FACULTY
Do Not Enter
Private
STAFF
Do Not Enter
Private
ADMINISTRATION
Do Not Enter
The "Faculty" and "Staff" are in keeping with our "college theme." But we put both "private" and "do not enter" to try to make it abundantly clear.
=)
Kk.
 

Penelope

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InnsiderInfo said:
a small gauge chain running across the length of the patio
You could electrifiy it...no words needed ;)
 

JunieBJones (JBJ)

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Or you could just lay a few empty eye-catching-red shot gun shells on the ground in front of the window with a small sign.
 

Don Draper

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I guess my signature line on this forum would be appropriate for what my comment would be. A rope and a chain would MAKE people want to stick their greasy smudgey noses against the window.
Youc an try to just say "PRIVATE" but that lack of boundaries thing draws them out.
PS Welcome back! You have been missed. :).
Ahhh ha ha! I just read your signature line and laughed out loud...DH loved it as well! Why is this SO true???
April really brings out a certain kind of crowd here...I can never decide if it's just that it's us ramping up to full speed, or the people who act like they are doing us some kind of favor...we had 3 empty rooms for all of last week! Yes, I'm glad to have you here but please stop acting as if I should be kissing the ground you walk on. And get OFF of my patio!!!
Thanks for the welcome back

 

Don Draper

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On our off limit doors we say
Private
FACULTY
Do Not Enter
Private
STAFF
Do Not Enter
Private
ADMINISTRATION
Do Not Enter
The "Faculty" and "Staff" are in keeping with our "college theme." But we put both "private" and "do not enter" to try to make it abundantly clear.
=)
Kk..
Thanks! I like the STAFF option...sounds great!
 

JunieBJones (JBJ)

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Look what is that saying they have for lotto or lottery tickets - the more you play the more chances you have to win? Well it is the same with pita's...the more you play - the more guests you have the higher percentage you will get.
I am waiting for mine to arrive. I am not saying they will be, but they are from a state that is known for obnoxious people. Bree it is not your state (Funny how she always thinks I mean NY!)
 

Don Draper

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Look what is that saying they have for lotto or lottery tickets - the more you play the more chances you have to win? Well it is the same with pita's...the more you play - the more guests you have the higher percentage you will get.
I am waiting for mine to arrive. I am not saying they will be, but they are from a state that is known for obnoxious people. Bree it is not your state (Funny how she always thinks I mean NY!).
That's correct...they also say you have to play to win...in this case winning being paying the bills! So yes, it's a percentages thing.
Here's REALLY hoping that:
#1) They get there soon so you can have some dinner.
#2) They defy all expectations and are the sweetest guests ever (or at least the sweetest PITA's ever...if there is such a thing!)
 

JunieBJones (JBJ)

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Look what is that saying they have for lotto or lottery tickets - the more you play the more chances you have to win? Well it is the same with pita's...the more you play - the more guests you have the higher percentage you will get.
I am waiting for mine to arrive. I am not saying they will be, but they are from a state that is known for obnoxious people. Bree it is not your state (Funny how she always thinks I mean NY!).
That's correct...they also say you have to play to win...in this case winning being paying the bills! So yes, it's a percentages thing.
Here's REALLY hoping that:
#1) They get there soon so you can have some dinner.
#2) They defy all expectations and are the sweetest guests ever (or at least the sweetest PITA's ever...if there is such a thing!)
.
InnsiderInfo said:
That's correct...they also say you have to play to win...in this case winning being paying the bills! So yes, it's a percentages thing.
Here's REALLY hoping that:
#1) They get there soon so you can have some dinner.
#2) They defy all expectations and are the sweetest guests ever (or at least the sweetest PITA's ever...if there is such a thing!)
How did you know I was sitting here thinking about moo goo gai pan from our local Chinese place? Weird. Go buy a lottery ticket. Or should I?
Rule #1 for aspirings - if you have dinner planned guests will always arrive as soon as it hits the table, if you don't have it planned they will arrive late so your family will starve to death.
 

Don Draper

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Look what is that saying they have for lotto or lottery tickets - the more you play the more chances you have to win? Well it is the same with pita's...the more you play - the more guests you have the higher percentage you will get.
I am waiting for mine to arrive. I am not saying they will be, but they are from a state that is known for obnoxious people. Bree it is not your state (Funny how she always thinks I mean NY!).
That's correct...they also say you have to play to win...in this case winning being paying the bills! So yes, it's a percentages thing.
Here's REALLY hoping that:
#1) They get there soon so you can have some dinner.
#2) They defy all expectations and are the sweetest guests ever (or at least the sweetest PITA's ever...if there is such a thing!)
.
InnsiderInfo said:
That's correct...they also say you have to play to win...in this case winning being paying the bills! So yes, it's a percentages thing.
Here's REALLY hoping that:
#1) They get there soon so you can have some dinner.
#2) They defy all expectations and are the sweetest guests ever (or at least the sweetest PITA's ever...if there is such a thing!)
How did you know I was sitting here thinking about moo goo gai pan from our local Chinese place? Weird. Go buy a lottery ticket. Or should I?
Rule #1 for aspirings - if you have dinner planned guests will always arrive as soon as it hits the table, if you don't have it planned they will arrive late so your family will starve to death.
.
Order it and put the first bite in your mouth...the doorbell should ring INSTANTLY!
We have really put our foot down this year...check-in is until 6 pm, one minute later and you're getting a very nice welcome note and your key in an envelope on the front door. We make it abundantly clear on our website and in our confirmations...I just get too cranky when my blood sugar gets too low. Plus 13 straight hours of work is enough for any day.
 

JunieBJones (JBJ)

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Look what is that saying they have for lotto or lottery tickets - the more you play the more chances you have to win? Well it is the same with pita's...the more you play - the more guests you have the higher percentage you will get.
I am waiting for mine to arrive. I am not saying they will be, but they are from a state that is known for obnoxious people. Bree it is not your state (Funny how she always thinks I mean NY!).
That's correct...they also say you have to play to win...in this case winning being paying the bills! So yes, it's a percentages thing.
Here's REALLY hoping that:
#1) They get there soon so you can have some dinner.
#2) They defy all expectations and are the sweetest guests ever (or at least the sweetest PITA's ever...if there is such a thing!)
.
InnsiderInfo said:
That's correct...they also say you have to play to win...in this case winning being paying the bills! So yes, it's a percentages thing.
Here's REALLY hoping that:
#1) They get there soon so you can have some dinner.
#2) They defy all expectations and are the sweetest guests ever (or at least the sweetest PITA's ever...if there is such a thing!)
How did you know I was sitting here thinking about moo goo gai pan from our local Chinese place? Weird. Go buy a lottery ticket. Or should I?
Rule #1 for aspirings - if you have dinner planned guests will always arrive as soon as it hits the table, if you don't have it planned they will arrive late so your family will starve to death.
.
Order it and put the first bite in your mouth...the doorbell should ring INSTANTLY!
We have really put our foot down this year...check-in is until 6 pm, one minute later and you're getting a very nice welcome note and your key in an envelope on the front door. We make it abundantly clear on our website and in our confirmations...I just get too cranky when my blood sugar gets too low. Plus 13 straight hours of work is enough for any day.
.
InnsiderInfo said:
Order it and put the first bite in your mouth...the doorbell should ring INSTANTLY!
We have really put our foot down this year...check-in is until 6 pm, one minute later and you're getting a very nice welcome note and your key in an envelope on the front door. We make it abundantly clear on our website and in our confirmations...I just get too cranky when my blood sugar gets too low. Plus 13 straight hours of work is enough for any day.
I can't remember where you are but I LOVE YOU MAN! It is as if I typed those words myself. So it is 645pm and the phone rings, it is THE GUEST. We are at some route number such and such how do we get to you?
We have NO CLUE where the heck they are, but they have our directionson the confirmation. I am NO going to get my chinese food! Adios.

 

greyswan

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beware of jumping spiders - at least, that would scare me away!
I think the spent shotgun shells is a funny one, too
 

egoodell

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I like "Staff Only, Please"
"No Guests" sounds a little hard to me.
RIki
 

Don Draper

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I like "Staff Only, Please"
"No Guests" sounds a little hard to me.
RIki.
I think I agree...my mind is definitely screaming "NO GUESTS!" but my inner innkeeper is reminding me to at least pretend to be gracious. Staff Only sounds more professional, I think.
 

egoodell

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I like "Staff Only, Please"
"No Guests" sounds a little hard to me.
RIki.
I think I agree...my mind is definitely screaming "NO GUESTS!" but my inner innkeeper is reminding me to at least pretend to be gracious. Staff Only sounds more professional, I think.
.
InnsiderInfo said:
I think I agree...my mind is definitely screaming "NO GUESTS!" but my inner innkeeper is reminding me to at least pretend to be gracious. Staff Only sounds more professional, I think.
And if they ask you why just use our all-time favorite - HEALTH DEPT REGULATIONS!!!
Riki
 

JunieBJones (JBJ)

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The guest this morning picked up his coffee cup to act like he was helping clear the table I guess and walked right into my kitchen with its "PRIVATE" sign. Took a gander and walked out. It KILLS PEOPLE to not see what is behind a closed door!
However you word it will make all the difference to how many sticky beaks you get!
 

Country Girl

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I'm having a hard time envisioning your patio. Are you using just the chain to separate you from your guests? Will they still be able to SEE you or you using something tall and wide that they can't see through? Any way you do it, there will always be those guests that will ignore any private sign "just to take a peek" and those that wouldn't even consider peeking, with our without a sign. You could try, "Please kindly respect our private space".
 
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