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Don Draper

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Do you ever get one of those bookings that from the moment you are first aware of the person you know you do not want them to book, and at the same time you know they WILL book no matter what? 3 weeks ago this older gentleman left a 5 minute long answering machine message, asking for rooms but not giving dates, going on and on about how he's owned a motel for 20 years so he knows all about "the business". I did not return the call (because I did not have 30 minutes to try to get this nailed down).
Next day he sends an email, gives the dates he wants to stay and says "Just put us down for your best room". Sigh...I just can't stand when someone hasn't even taken the time to look at our website, I don't know what you want and I wouldn't presume to guess. So I emailed back and said here's a link to our website, all of our rooms are different so you can use this calendar to see if the one you like is available for the dates you want.
Later that day the online reservation comes in, he filled out the form and for special needs put "Couple of eggs sunny side up is all we ever do for breakfast". Another sigh. He has not bothered to look at any of the info on the site, we do not cook breakfast to order and you're not getting sunny side up eggs when we have a full house. So I confirmed him as such, in probably the most sternly written confirmation I've ever sent (this is how we do breakfast, this is the check in time)...seriously, just please do not come.
So they arrive yesterday at 5:55 pm (I so wish I was exaggerating, we had only one other check-in who got here at 3:30 and could have been DONE but NO, that would have been too easy). He is about 20 years younger than he sounds, and she was honestly high on something. He talked over me the entire check-in and she just stared at me glassy eyed. Took them up to their room where he promptly removed all the pillows and handed them to me, then removed the top sheet/blanket/quilt and handed them to me as well. "We travel with our own". It took all I had not to scream that unlike a motel we actually WASH our things but hey, whatever makes you happy.
I'm betting they do not come to breakfast, DH is betting they come and eat every bite. WHEE!
 
I would have immediately asked them for their sheets and pillows to be put through the dryer. I'm sorry, but no bedding in my house that has not been through my dryer, ever! I don't want someone bringing in bugs.
 
So far they have separately been up and down the steps 20 times, in and out to the car...pleasant good mornings from both but that's all the interaction I had. Just looked outside and their car is gone, will get the status update when the housekeepers get here.
 
So far they have separately been up and down the steps 20 times, in and out to the car...pleasant good mornings from both but that's all the interaction I had. Just looked outside and their car is gone, will get the status update when the housekeepers get here..
So, they went out for brekkie?
 
We don't get it as much here as some of our friends do, but I have heard horror stories about guests coming in for breakfast and saying, 'I'll have an egg white scramble with dry, whole wheat toast and a side of soy sausage,' when all they've been asked is would they like some coffee!
Are there that many B&B's out there that do a fully cooked to order breakfast that guests assume this is the standard? Or are these guests usually staying at 'inns' with commercial kitchens and chefs?
We have had the snarks who ask, 'You DO know how to MAKE eggs over easy, DON'T YOU?' To which I cheerfully reply, 'You'll need to step over to the kitchen and ask the cook. I don't interfere with him when he's cooking.' He'll usually try but he makes that table wait until he's done with all the other tables.
 
We don't get it as much here as some of our friends do, but I have heard horror stories about guests coming in for breakfast and saying, 'I'll have an egg white scramble with dry, whole wheat toast and a side of soy sausage,' when all they've been asked is would they like some coffee!
Are there that many B&B's out there that do a fully cooked to order breakfast that guests assume this is the standard? Or are these guests usually staying at 'inns' with commercial kitchens and chefs?
We have had the snarks who ask, 'You DO know how to MAKE eggs over easy, DON'T YOU?' To which I cheerfully reply, 'You'll need to step over to the kitchen and ask the cook. I don't interfere with him when he's cooking.' He'll usually try but he makes that table wait until he's done with all the other tables..
I think most of them have not stayed at B&B's, they think they are at a diner or something. It doesn't irk me like it used to, maybe they just don't get it so I try to just cheerfully explain what we do have and go from there.
I can only assume our guests went our for breakfast. Up in the room they have a duvet on the bed, and that's it (other than our fitted sheet). They have 3 gigantic bags so it's impossible to walk around up there.
 
I would have immediately asked them for their sheets and pillows to be put through the dryer. I'm sorry, but no bedding in my house that has not been through my dryer, ever! I don't want someone bringing in bugs..
Eric Arthur Blair said:
I would have immediately asked them for their sheets and pillows to be put through the dryer. I'm sorry, but no bedding in my house that has not been through my dryer, ever! I don't want someone bringing in bugs.
Good idea. Of course, the little buggers could be coming in their luggage or linen bags, too, so if the guests have brought them, you've got them.
 
I would have immediately asked them for their sheets and pillows to be put through the dryer. I'm sorry, but no bedding in my house that has not been through my dryer, ever! I don't want someone bringing in bugs..
Eric Arthur Blair said:
I would have immediately asked them for their sheets and pillows to be put through the dryer. I'm sorry, but no bedding in my house that has not been through my dryer, ever! I don't want someone bringing in bugs.
Good idea. Of course, the little buggers could be coming in their luggage or linen bags, too, so if the guests have brought them, you've got them.
.
It limits exposure. We ask guests to use the luggage racks, not to put their luggage on the beds. The mattresses are enclosed. But their own linen.. must be toasted first!
 
Most UK places cook to order but you have a menu you can't just say I want a tofu salad and expect it.
 
One day I will sneak into your inns inncognito and sit myself down at the breakfast table and say in a loud booming voice "Steak and eggs pronto, oh and make sure it's MEDIUM and a cup of strong black java!"
 
One day I will sneak into your inns inncognito and sit myself down at the breakfast table and say in a loud booming voice "Steak and eggs pronto, oh and make sure it's MEDIUM and a cup of strong black java!".
Don't forget you have to wave your mug around yelling, 'Miss, Miss, over here. Coffee.'
 
One day I will sneak into your inns inncognito and sit myself down at the breakfast table and say in a loud booming voice "Steak and eggs pronto, oh and make sure it's MEDIUM and a cup of strong black java!".
Don't forget you have to wave your mug around yelling, 'Miss, Miss, over here. Coffee.'
.
Alibi Ike said:
Don't forget you have to wave your mug around yelling, 'Miss, Miss, over here. Coffee.'
Miss Miss? I would just block you from passing, throw my leg out and have my arm extended with my empty mug. (Hey I learned from the best.)
 
One day I will sneak into your inns inncognito and sit myself down at the breakfast table and say in a loud booming voice "Steak and eggs pronto, oh and make sure it's MEDIUM and a cup of strong black java!".
Don't forget you have to wave your mug around yelling, 'Miss, Miss, over here. Coffee.'
.
Alibi Ike said:
Don't forget you have to wave your mug around yelling, 'Miss, Miss, over here. Coffee.'
Miss Miss? I would just block you from passing, throw my leg out and have my arm extended with my empty mug. (Hey I learned from the best.)
.
I wasn't in the dining room. I was talking to the housekeeper and apparently this guy thought that was just about enough 'socializing' for the help.
 
Guests check in, I just put a note on the door for some CALF guests who just called and a couple hours out yet to arrive. These new guests ring the bell and then open the note which does not have their name on it, it has a name on it. I walk up immediately as she is reading the note and said "Oh is your name Samantha?" No. I said, Oh the note says Samantha and since you are reading it...
She graduates from a Univ (long distance learning) and has no idea how to get there, has no GPS, no Map, no directions. No, I am not kidding. She is from one of my favorite states for guests.
NO BOUNDARIES. You know we will be locking every door behind us the next two days. Our overseas guest has not been locking his room, he might need to now...the sticky beaks are in the house.
 
Guests check in, I just put a note on the door for some CALF guests who just called and a couple hours out yet to arrive. These new guests ring the bell and then open the note which does not have their name on it, it has a name on it. I walk up immediately as she is reading the note and said "Oh is your name Samantha?" No. I said, Oh the note says Samantha and since you are reading it...
She graduates from a Univ (long distance learning) and has no idea how to get there, has no GPS, no Map, no directions. No, I am not kidding. She is from one of my favorite states for guests.
NO BOUNDARIES. You know we will be locking every door behind us the next two days. Our overseas guest has not been locking his room, he might need to now...the sticky beaks are in the house..
I waste more envelopes that way...but all correspondence for guests goes in a sealed envelope. Yes, someone else could unseal it read it and then just put it back.
That's kind of nervy on the part of your guest. Hey, here's a piece of paper with someone else's name on it, must be mine!
Did she have anything to say for herself? Apology? 'Oops, I never even looked at the name!'
And...did she ask YOU how to get where she wants to go?
 
Guests check in, I just put a note on the door for some CALF guests who just called and a couple hours out yet to arrive. These new guests ring the bell and then open the note which does not have their name on it, it has a name on it. I walk up immediately as she is reading the note and said "Oh is your name Samantha?" No. I said, Oh the note says Samantha and since you are reading it...
She graduates from a Univ (long distance learning) and has no idea how to get there, has no GPS, no Map, no directions. No, I am not kidding. She is from one of my favorite states for guests.
NO BOUNDARIES. You know we will be locking every door behind us the next two days. Our overseas guest has not been locking his room, he might need to now...the sticky beaks are in the house..
Geez, good thing you were there to catch this! I love how you handled that "Is YOUR name Samantha?" Nice one. Of course it went RIGHT over her head...
 
Guests check in, I just put a note on the door for some CALF guests who just called and a couple hours out yet to arrive. These new guests ring the bell and then open the note which does not have their name on it, it has a name on it. I walk up immediately as she is reading the note and said "Oh is your name Samantha?" No. I said, Oh the note says Samantha and since you are reading it...
She graduates from a Univ (long distance learning) and has no idea how to get there, has no GPS, no Map, no directions. No, I am not kidding. She is from one of my favorite states for guests.
NO BOUNDARIES. You know we will be locking every door behind us the next two days. Our overseas guest has not been locking his room, he might need to now...the sticky beaks are in the house..
I waste more envelopes that way...but all correspondence for guests goes in a sealed envelope. Yes, someone else could unseal it read it and then just put it back.
That's kind of nervy on the part of your guest. Hey, here's a piece of paper with someone else's name on it, must be mine!
Did she have anything to say for herself? Apology? 'Oops, I never even looked at the name!'
And...did she ask YOU how to get where she wants to go?
.
Alibi Ike said:
I waste more envelopes that way...but all correspondence for guests goes in a sealed envelope. Yes, someone else could unseal it read it and then just put it back.
That's kind of nervy on the part of your guest. Hey, here's a piece of paper with someone else's name on it, must be mine!
Did she have anything to say for herself? Apology? 'Oops, I never even looked at the name!'
And...did she ask YOU how to get where she wants to go?
Yes she did and now wants me to look it up and print directions. Yes this is me at 1152PM after my 6am breakfasts all week, this new room (older) have been up and around and around in the bathroom for OVER AND HOUR in the room over my head, I am ready to scream. They can't possibly be there at 9am btw. I have three diff breakfast times, 6am, Calf guests 8am and they might be around after 9am, they have to be somewhere! COME ON NOW! Not on a diff time like the poor CALF room.
WHERE IS MY BLENDER FOR TOMORROW EARLY? SMOOTHIES ANYONE?
pita.gif

I use env MUCH of the time, this one I had taped on the corner, she tore it right open to read it, in like what 3 seconds? I am still shocked over it. I mean, it is not a big deal nothing there of importance, but it was NOT HER NAME on it. Boundaries... I am off to make sure I grind my beans fresh and early tomorrow...
 
Guests check in, I just put a note on the door for some CALF guests who just called and a couple hours out yet to arrive. These new guests ring the bell and then open the note which does not have their name on it, it has a name on it. I walk up immediately as she is reading the note and said "Oh is your name Samantha?" No. I said, Oh the note says Samantha and since you are reading it...
She graduates from a Univ (long distance learning) and has no idea how to get there, has no GPS, no Map, no directions. No, I am not kidding. She is from one of my favorite states for guests.
NO BOUNDARIES. You know we will be locking every door behind us the next two days. Our overseas guest has not been locking his room, he might need to now...the sticky beaks are in the house..
I waste more envelopes that way...but all correspondence for guests goes in a sealed envelope. Yes, someone else could unseal it read it and then just put it back.
That's kind of nervy on the part of your guest. Hey, here's a piece of paper with someone else's name on it, must be mine!
Did she have anything to say for herself? Apology? 'Oops, I never even looked at the name!'
And...did she ask YOU how to get where she wants to go?
.
Alibi Ike said:
I waste more envelopes that way...but all correspondence for guests goes in a sealed envelope. Yes, someone else could unseal it read it and then just put it back.
That's kind of nervy on the part of your guest. Hey, here's a piece of paper with someone else's name on it, must be mine!
Did she have anything to say for herself? Apology? 'Oops, I never even looked at the name!'
And...did she ask YOU how to get where she wants to go?
Yes she did and now wants me to look it up and print directions. Yes this is me at 1152PM after my 6am breakfasts all week, this new room (older) have been up and around and around in the bathroom for OVER AND HOUR in the room over my head, I am ready to scream. They can't possibly be there at 9am btw. I have three diff breakfast times, 6am, Calf guests 8am and they might be around after 9am, they have to be somewhere! COME ON NOW! Not on a diff time like the poor CALF room.
WHERE IS MY BLENDER FOR TOMORROW EARLY? SMOOTHIES ANYONE?
pita.gif

I use env MUCH of the time, this one I had taped on the corner, she tore it right open to read it, in like what 3 seconds? I am still shocked over it. I mean, it is not a big deal nothing there of importance, but it was NOT HER NAME on it. Boundaries... I am off to make sure I grind my beans fresh and early tomorrow...
.
Joey Bloggs said:
I use env MUCH of the time, this one I had taped on the corner, she tore it right open to read it, in like what 3 seconds? I am still shocked over it. I mean, it is not a big deal nothing there of importance, but it was NOT HER NAME on it. Boundaries... I am off to make sure I grind my beans fresh and early tomorrow...
Wow. That just astonishes me. I'm not sure how I would have handled it, but I fear it would not have ended well.
 
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