The Shy

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Don Draper

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I completely get that everyone coming into our homes might be a bit shy or quiet, it is a new place for them, they are not sure what to expect. What I cannot understand at all is people who are STILL shy when they leave 3 days later??? Spent 30 minutes at check-in getting them settled, tried to talk to them each morning at breakfast but it was clear they just wanted to be left alone (they always sat alone, would not sit with anyone else). Got them dinner reservations, they said "It was great" when we asked about the places the following mornings but wouldn't elaborate.
No one has been mean to you, you know how things work now, WHY are you still acting like you expect someone to attack you at any minute??? I guess the real question is why in the world people like this would choose a B&B, when they know there is going to be interaction??? I am working my butt off trying to make them relax a little, I quit.
 

EmptyNest

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Don't do that. Some people just don't want to be "attended to." Let them alone. If they want something, help, if they don't then let them alone. They didn't come to stay with you to become your friend. I think that is hard for many innkeepers to understand. They want bed, breakfast and maybe to be left alone. Eveyone is different. You can't assume they all want to be treated the same way.
 

Breakfast Diva

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With folks like this I do my best at check-in to warm them up. If they're still like that by the next day, I just leave them alone. You wonder how this type even find a mate?!?! They're probably just like that with each other too...how boring.
They probably chose a b&b because it will give them something to talk to themselves about!
 

Don Draper

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Don't do that. Some people just don't want to be "attended to." Let them alone. If they want something, help, if they don't then let them alone. They didn't come to stay with you to become your friend. I think that is hard for many innkeepers to understand. They want bed, breakfast and maybe to be left alone. Eveyone is different. You can't assume they all want to be treated the same way..
No, I'm well aware and appreciative of those guests who don't want to be my friend, they are my faves!!!
This was just painfully, chronically shy. Just don't get why if they're so uncomfortable they would subject themselves to this type of setting. I gave up on them after the first morning because it was clear they didn't want to talk. DH tried, and he gave up too. I'm glad they're gone, they were making other people uncomfortable because they wouldn't sit with anyone or allow anyone else to sit at the 4-top that they chose every morning.
 

Copperhead

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Maybe they didn't know how the B&B thing works until they arrived.
I had an unfavorable review and they commented on the fact that the innkeepers lived there - family home. I do not remember these guests but obviously they did not expect to share their experience.
But those that want to be left alone or do not talk, I leave alone. Of course at my breakfast table this morning, my chatty Cathy guest would have had them either in the conversation or running for the door.
 

Alibi Ike

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OK, so maybe they're like me. (Yeah, me, I am not chatty in person at a B&B.)
I like the B&B atmosphere but am perfectly content to sit alone, eat my breakfast, read a book. I'd answer if asked, but I wouldn't carry on a conversation.
(That's as a civilian. As an innkeeper I want to know what's happening at your place that's different or the same as mine. But, please do not barricade me in my room for a half hour to tell me your sad life story about how hard it is to make the mortgage payments and all of that. THAT I don't want to know. I like breakfast info and bad guest stories but I want room to escape!)
If guests here don't want to chat, I let them be. We had a family here for a week recently. They said good morning, they ate, they asked a couple of questions and they rebuffed any attempt to talk to them. The day they left, the worst offender came up to me and started chewing my ear off. Best place we've stayed so far, lovely accommodations, every had a great time, thank you so much, the breakfasts were wonderful, the kids loved the choices and the cereals...on and on. I was stunned.
 

JBloggs

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I am beginning to like the shy guests more and more, the less interaction the better these days. We feel we need to give them more, but they are content to do their own thing. Why do we feel this way? Because of the song, dance and magic tricks others EXPECT of us. There is no middle ground, it is always all of one or none, isn't it.
 

NW Natterbug

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For some, shy is a life-long thing. Won't go away after 30 years, let alone 3 days.
 

Don Draper

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Ah, forget it. I'm not conveying how it was. Shy is fine, this was different and it IMPACTED OTHER GUESTS. I'm glad they are gone.
 

Alibi Ike

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Ah, forget it. I'm not conveying how it was. Shy is fine, this was different and it IMPACTED OTHER GUESTS. I'm glad they are gone..
Don Draper said:
Ah, forget it. I'm not conveying how it was. Shy is fine, this was different and it IMPACTED OTHER GUESTS. I'm glad they are gone.
I guess we had to be there.
Your 'shy' sounds like 'we have our own little world, everyone else keep out'.
 

bbinnsitters

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Ah, forget it. I'm not conveying how it was. Shy is fine, this was different and it IMPACTED OTHER GUESTS. I'm glad they are gone..
Maybe their psychiatrist/psychologist/marriage counselor ( whoever the person is who makes you do things you don't want to do) MADE them do it. You know - step out of your comfort zone kind of adventure? Maybe it was someone here on the forum - didn't someone just post about their DH surprising them with a getaway? Ok it is late, I can't sleep and I am just having fun!
 

Don Draper

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Ah, forget it. I'm not conveying how it was. Shy is fine, this was different and it IMPACTED OTHER GUESTS. I'm glad they are gone..
Maybe their psychiatrist/psychologist/marriage counselor ( whoever the person is who makes you do things you don't want to do) MADE them do it. You know - step out of your comfort zone kind of adventure? Maybe it was someone here on the forum - didn't someone just post about their DH surprising them with a getaway? Ok it is late, I can't sleep and I am just having fun!
.
Now THAT I could buy into!

 

gillumhouse

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Maybe they didn't know how the B&B thing works until they arrived.
I had an unfavorable review and they commented on the fact that the innkeepers lived there - family home. I do not remember these guests but obviously they did not expect to share their experience.
But those that want to be left alone or do not talk, I leave alone. Of course at my breakfast table this morning, my chatty Cathy guest would have had them either in the conversation or running for the door..
copperhead said:
Maybe they didn't know how the B&B thing works until they arrived.
I had my new set of signs on my car. As I was getting in the car to go pick DH up at the hard surface (as opposed to the gravel parking lot), the man in the next truck loaded with motorcycles got out and asked me how it works with a B & B. Turns out he was most unsure about the bathrooms - thinking it was shared. I explained that most B & Bs today have private ensuite (explained that too) as I told him I do have 2 that shared but also one with ensuite. He immediately grasped the friends traveling together or families have no problem sharing, but that I also had the private for those wanting prive. He left with a much better understanding and may in the future try B & B. YEA!!
 

Don Draper

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Maybe they didn't know how the B&B thing works until they arrived.
I had an unfavorable review and they commented on the fact that the innkeepers lived there - family home. I do not remember these guests but obviously they did not expect to share their experience.
But those that want to be left alone or do not talk, I leave alone. Of course at my breakfast table this morning, my chatty Cathy guest would have had them either in the conversation or running for the door..
copperhead said:
Maybe they didn't know how the B&B thing works until they arrived.
I had my new set of signs on my car. As I was getting in the car to go pick DH up at the hard surface (as opposed to the gravel parking lot), the man in the next truck loaded with motorcycles got out and asked me how it works with a B & B. Turns out he was most unsure about the bathrooms - thinking it was shared. I explained that most B & Bs today have private ensuite (explained that too) as I told him I do have 2 that shared but also one with ensuite. He immediately grasped the friends traveling together or families have no problem sharing, but that I also had the private for those wanting prive. He left with a much better understanding and may in the future try B & B. YEA!!
.
Thanks (as usual), for being a good ambassador!
 

Samster

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Ah, forget it. I'm not conveying how it was. Shy is fine, this was different and it IMPACTED OTHER GUESTS. I'm glad they are gone..
We ran into a 30-something couple like this when we were on a couple of shore excursions while on our cruise. My dh has really never met a stranger and they barely answered him. He thought it bordered on rude, but I saw that they just wanted to be left alone. They just were in their own little world for whatever reason. We were in Italy, outside under a lovely canopy of vines, drinking wine & eating pizza with about 30 folks from our ship a our Italian hosts and everyone was laughing and having a good time...except for them. We figured it was their loss.....
 
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