THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD:

[The Farmers Daughter]

THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD:

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of crap.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a darn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. And your cry-baby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
23. Do I look like a people person?
24 This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
25. I started out with nothing -still have most of it left.
26. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
27. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
28. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
29. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
30. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
31 A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
32. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
33 Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
34. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
35. Chaos, panic, disorder - my work here is done.
36 How do I set a laser printer to stun?
37. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
38. I'm tired.....what's your excuse!

 

[white pine]

Signs I had in my office (private):
1) And what fresh hell do we have today?
2) No Whiners!
3) Be Nice or Go Away!

 

[user 26]

 

[Joey Camb]

I love your post Im going to print it to pop over my desk! That way when I have difficult guests I can read it then go back to them and smile!

 

[The Farmers Daughter]

Here is another to add to the list. Feel free to submit your own.
#39 This has been lovely, but I have to scream now.

 

[Joey Camb]

I have a flip sign on my desk:
1 If ignorance if bliss why aren't people happy?
2 work is like taking a sledge across the arctic only the lead dog has a pleasant view
3 Instant human being just add coffee - don't stir
4 I'm suffering from Deja Moo - I think Ive heard this bullshit before
5 keep fit at the office - fly off the handle, jump to conclusions, pass the buck, stab colleagues in the back, climb the walls, run down the company, dodge responsibility and push your luck.
6 I don't look busy because I did it right the first time
7 We believe in give and take I give my time and effort, they take my freedom and dignity
8 Who says that nothing is impossible - There are people who do it everyday
9 If at first you don't succeed delegate the job to someone else
10 When the going gets tough the manager is nowhere to be seen
11 I'm here to help what's your excuse?
12 Every day I aim higher but I still havn't hit the manager
13 I believe in customer service, the tooth fairy and father christmas
14 A problem shared is a problem multiplied
15 If you're not part of the solution you're probably a manager
16 I love targets especially when they're painted on a manager's back
17 anything is possible if you don't understand the problem
18 teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself
19 The beatings will continue until moral improves
20 if at first you don't succeed try management
21 never do today that which will become someone else's responsibility tomorro
22 aim low reach your goals and avoid dissappointment
23 when confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question. How would the lone ranger handle this?
24 change is inevitable except from vending machines
25 the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts
26 Rome did not create an empire by having meetings they did it by killing all those who opposed them
27 I'm really easy to get along with once you learn to worship me
28 Do I look like a people person?
29 Never argue with idiots they drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience
30 I was born to work here, I must have done something really bad in a previous like