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birdwatcher

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Well as you can fool some of the people all of the time but not all the people all the time...
Things where going just fine until last night and that just showed me that she likes to make certain that you know that "I have access to every part of this Inn except your room"...Nooo REALY?! OH I WAS P SED LAST NIGHT!
Here it is. Since Thursday everything was good, I met her first and actually gave her a hug, everything was going along fine, on Friday, we went from room to room and she cretiqued what she wanted but we've only been here for 8 weeks would be two months on the 3rd. So anyway there is this room that is on the second floor that is somewhat round because of the windows facing the front of the Victorian and this particular room has two double beds. It was arranged in the most unsusual way . The beds where cady-corner of eachother ( six windows surround this room) with a desk in between them and an aircdonditioner in one of the windows which you could not put the desk against it-it looked absolutely stupid. So we rearanged the room where one table was in between the two double beds which we straightened out beside eachother; it looked so much better-In our view-she pretty much HATED it, so we will have to change it back. We try to look at rooms as a guest would, and we stayed in that room-I didn't like it when I strayed there. The bathroom had a mirror that was so wide that it hit the electric outlet and you could not use it, we exchanged it from another room...(she didn't mind that) you look at things with a guest view-not your own view (this is the inexperience of being in the hospitality industry). Anyway, in another room on second floor the bathroom has a shelf type thing above the sink, this 'mirrored dark shelf" has a mirror that - no lie is about 8"x12" the rest is a wide shelf right below it-its a beautiful piece but it just does not belong in the bathroom. You can see your face, thats it, its dark so we put a little lamp on the shelf the whole piece is 3 feet long by 11/2 feet wide. We told her that its not really a piece that belongs in the bath and that its really difficult to put makeup on, shave or do any type of air...this was on Saturday. She came back last night and wrote the report of our inspections and when it came to this bathroom she said -the piece in ......room remains! guest can use the dresser to put on make up, I did.
In this content I understand completely why it may be that she can't keep innkeepers...like last night. Ok, I did alot yesterday so my hubbie was going to greet the guest and check them in as I had been outside I had just taken a shower and wasn't "guest ready", we do it all the time. Anyway, I proceeded to start ironing the pillow cases and napkins watching TV. When I was done I went into the kitchen and threre was a note stating she would like her left over fish (from takeout the night before) with ketchup. The kitchen is right off the dining room with a door leading from the dinning room which we close because of the cat, then there is another door leading into the innkeeper's quarters and off the hallway there is another door leading to the front of the house. Anyway, when I saw the note I got a little peaved- am I her servant? We've had served her breakfast every morning- no problem-she even took us out to dinner-nice, but the note just kind of made me feel like a servant, she could have looked in the fridge, taken it out and microwaved it. So I took out the fish, put it on a plate and microwaved it, when I knocked on her door she seemed to be on the phone, hubbie said just wait for her- like i wanted to stand outside her bedroom door until I heard quiet? NO WAY!@ I left the plate on the desk right beside her door. Next thing I knew she was barrled in the door through the front and stomped into the kitchen saying that the other door was locked...and she wanted her fish...it was out by the bedroomon the desk; I told her I knocked and she was on the phone. Anyway, she stomped back into her room saying something like-well thank you for giving me access to my home-OH I WAS JUST SO UPSET!@
So this morning she's sitting in the kitchen reiterating that she As OWNER...has access to the kitchen and everything else except for our bedroom. I kind of said, well you know I don't know why that door was locked and I know that you have access since you do OWN the inn...and so on and so forth and that she wanted to be a friend and she has always sat at the kitchen table...blah blah blah...I truly think that what she did all weekend was planned and what she did last night was planned as well.
We kind of figured out that she would have access to everything other than our room-that was a given and very morning I said to come on to the back cause she was looking for her tool box or something to that affect...she came right back to the laundry room...I thought this was normal that she would just come and go in her own place and then to come in this morning to the "Its my place, I have ALWAYS had access to this and that and" It just felt as if she did it on pourpose to let us know that its HER PLACE. I kind of apologized and said that we keep the doors closed because of the cat and that I never ment for her to think that we keept her out of that part of the Inn and that my husband sometimes has the habit of loking doors Sorry-but inside I was just seething!
I told my husband that when she comes next time I will NOT SERVE HER as a servant would. Can't wait till this is over.
Thanks for letting me vent! How would you all handle this?
 
i think you handled the situation very well.
remembering the website, it gave the owner's name right on it ... my take is she is very proud of owning this property. and has a hard time having someone living in it and running it. not an easy thing to do. wants access to all and felt she was being barred from areas she should have access to. has a short fuse, and switches from being pleasant to being UNpleasant ... ahem. has a problem micromanaging ... evidenced by the turnover in innkeepers.
the interim innkeepers on forum can really advise you
no, i would not bring food to her room on a tray.
yes, i would listen to all her suggestions and comments and criticisms ... and then do what works. i know i'm naughty, but you figured out what guests like (she'd probably fire me quick if i didn't get the mirror or whatever back in place before her visit!)
the owner of the place i ran thought she could just make up the bed tight after she slept in it and the room would be guest ready ... because it was 'just her' and after all, she was the owner, so why not? i didn't say a word but after she left, i of course stripped the bed and did a flip just as usual. i ran into this peculiar idea AGAIN when i pulled the sheets off a bed that had been slept in after being told not to by the owner of a summer cottage who rents it out by the week. that job ended abruptly.
bottom line for me would be ... how often will she be 'inspecting' the place? do you love the place and see more positives than negatives to running it? can you maintain your sanity and your happiness running things for her? maybe you should continue to look for other gigs just because.
(hugs)
ps by all means come in here and vent ... you are sure she wouldn't find this forum? i worry about that myself sometimes .....
 
You are her employee...NOT HER SERVANT. I would make that clear to her. Yes it is her house...so let her get her own food for pity's sake. Hey do what she says for now and then when she leaves make the rooms arranged so they suit you and the guests. She'll never know
tounge_smile.gif
Or..does she have hidden cameras?
 
You are her employee...NOT HER SERVANT. I would make that clear to her. Yes it is her house...so let her get her own food for pity's sake. Hey do what she says for now and then when she leaves make the rooms arranged so they suit you and the guests. She'll never know
tounge_smile.gif
Or..does she have hidden cameras?.
catlady said:
Or..does she have hidden cameras?
Now there's a thought! But, they would not be in the guest rooms, one hopes! It comes down to exactly what you did when newly married and got some hideous gift...hide it until the giver comes to visit!
 
Seashanty-Yup, like the place-loving it is not the word for it but love what we do. And we will do exactly that, we WILL MOVE THAT MIRROR and re-arrange the room again until she's gone and then put it back when she comes back. No, we will always know when she returns and yes, the micromanaging and the changing of moods suddenltly and finding stupid crap wrong-is one that is OCD...in her own way. No I don't think she'll find this forum although perhaps other innkeepers that have worked for her may and yes we are still searching.
If she where to be living accross the street-we would already be gone.
I will keep you in the "KNOW'...
She loved breakfast this morning, had a business meeting with someone we know and said wow-you really put on a spread-you work really hard!---What the hell! I said really sweetly "Well then I deserve a raise?" he he he....:)
 
birdwatcher, her behavior is outrageous but you are handling it well so give yourself the pat on the back you deserve.
What would I do? Hold my breath while she's there and count down the moments til she leaves.
And look for another gig pronto. You work too hard to be treated that way.
Will this woman ever find an innkeeper she trusts? No.
Will her inn ever be as successful as it could be if she would only behave as though she has an ounce of respect for her employees? Of course not.
Meanwhile, enjoy the peace of her departure as much as you can. And get that search going for the next gig.
Chances are very good that you'll find a more respectful owner who will be appreciative of the investment of time and energy you are making.
It would, quite truthfully, be difficult to imagine a worse one.
Oh, and on the camera possibility someone else raised. Oh yeah, consider that might be happening. I caught an owner sitting in his car listening on his radio to the baby monitor he'd hidden IN MY BEDROOM. And oh yeah, I was staying there with my DH as the owner very well knew. Just because it's outrageous doesn't mean some idiot owner isn't doing it. Assume the worst may be happening and adjust your behavior accordingly.
And hang in there. Keep telling yourself this mantra: stepping stone, stepping stone, stepping stone.
 
She just sounds really cross all the time. For example doors might be locked I'm sure she would be super pleased if stuff got nicked for example her tools. Plus it is totally reasonable to keep the cat in. (how is your other cat by the way?) Keeping the doors locked is not about her it is about security. I understand about the room arrangements we call it functionality in this country do you have to shift a ton of clutter off a desk to use it? is there easy access to plug sockets? is there the right light to shave in the bathroom and so on. It is one of the reasons I always say you have to stay in your own rooms now and again to pick up these things.
 
birdwatcher, her behavior is outrageous but you are handling it well so give yourself the pat on the back you deserve.
What would I do? Hold my breath while she's there and count down the moments til she leaves.
And look for another gig pronto. You work too hard to be treated that way.
Will this woman ever find an innkeeper she trusts? No.
Will her inn ever be as successful as it could be if she would only behave as though she has an ounce of respect for her employees? Of course not.
Meanwhile, enjoy the peace of her departure as much as you can. And get that search going for the next gig.
Chances are very good that you'll find a more respectful owner who will be appreciative of the investment of time and energy you are making.
It would, quite truthfully, be difficult to imagine a worse one.
Oh, and on the camera possibility someone else raised. Oh yeah, consider that might be happening. I caught an owner sitting in his car listening on his radio to the baby monitor he'd hidden IN MY BEDROOM. And oh yeah, I was staying there with my DH as the owner very well knew. Just because it's outrageous doesn't mean some idiot owner isn't doing it. Assume the worst may be happening and adjust your behavior accordingly.
And hang in there. Keep telling yourself this mantra: stepping stone, stepping stone, stepping stone..
Innkeeper To Go said:
Oh, and on the camera possibility someone else raised. Oh yeah, consider that might be happening. I caught an owner sitting in his car listening on his radio to the baby monitor he'd hidden IN MY BEDROOM. And oh yeah, I was staying there with my DH as the owner very well knew. Just because it's outrageous doesn't mean some idiot owner isn't doing it. Assume the worst may be happening and adjust your behavior accordingly.
what?! outrageous!
 
birdwatcher, her behavior is outrageous but you are handling it well so give yourself the pat on the back you deserve.
What would I do? Hold my breath while she's there and count down the moments til she leaves.
And look for another gig pronto. You work too hard to be treated that way.
Will this woman ever find an innkeeper she trusts? No.
Will her inn ever be as successful as it could be if she would only behave as though she has an ounce of respect for her employees? Of course not.
Meanwhile, enjoy the peace of her departure as much as you can. And get that search going for the next gig.
Chances are very good that you'll find a more respectful owner who will be appreciative of the investment of time and energy you are making.
It would, quite truthfully, be difficult to imagine a worse one.
Oh, and on the camera possibility someone else raised. Oh yeah, consider that might be happening. I caught an owner sitting in his car listening on his radio to the baby monitor he'd hidden IN MY BEDROOM. And oh yeah, I was staying there with my DH as the owner very well knew. Just because it's outrageous doesn't mean some idiot owner isn't doing it. Assume the worst may be happening and adjust your behavior accordingly.
And hang in there. Keep telling yourself this mantra: stepping stone, stepping stone, stepping stone..
Innkeeper To Go said:
Oh, and on the camera possibility someone else raised. Oh yeah, consider that might be happening. I caught an owner sitting in his car listening on his radio to the baby monitor he'd hidden IN MY BEDROOM. And oh yeah, I was staying there with my DH as the owner very well knew. Just because it's outrageous doesn't mean some idiot owner isn't doing it. Assume the worst may be happening and adjust your behavior accordingly.
what?! outrageous!
.
Yep. Sad but true.
I often say that nothing a guest does can surprise me but that can also be said for owners.
And sadly, too many owners do not take the innkeeper's right to privacy as seriously as they should.
 
birdwatcher, her behavior is outrageous but you are handling it well so give yourself the pat on the back you deserve.
What would I do? Hold my breath while she's there and count down the moments til she leaves.
And look for another gig pronto. You work too hard to be treated that way.
Will this woman ever find an innkeeper she trusts? No.
Will her inn ever be as successful as it could be if she would only behave as though she has an ounce of respect for her employees? Of course not.
Meanwhile, enjoy the peace of her departure as much as you can. And get that search going for the next gig.
Chances are very good that you'll find a more respectful owner who will be appreciative of the investment of time and energy you are making.
It would, quite truthfully, be difficult to imagine a worse one.
Oh, and on the camera possibility someone else raised. Oh yeah, consider that might be happening. I caught an owner sitting in his car listening on his radio to the baby monitor he'd hidden IN MY BEDROOM. And oh yeah, I was staying there with my DH as the owner very well knew. Just because it's outrageous doesn't mean some idiot owner isn't doing it. Assume the worst may be happening and adjust your behavior accordingly.
And hang in there. Keep telling yourself this mantra: stepping stone, stepping stone, stepping stone..
Innkeeper To Go said:
I caught an owner sitting in his car listening on his radio to the baby monitor he'd hidden IN MY BEDROOM.
(insert OMG phrase of choice here)!
 
birdwatcher, her behavior is outrageous but you are handling it well so give yourself the pat on the back you deserve.
What would I do? Hold my breath while she's there and count down the moments til she leaves.
And look for another gig pronto. You work too hard to be treated that way.
Will this woman ever find an innkeeper she trusts? No.
Will her inn ever be as successful as it could be if she would only behave as though she has an ounce of respect for her employees? Of course not.
Meanwhile, enjoy the peace of her departure as much as you can. And get that search going for the next gig.
Chances are very good that you'll find a more respectful owner who will be appreciative of the investment of time and energy you are making.
It would, quite truthfully, be difficult to imagine a worse one.
Oh, and on the camera possibility someone else raised. Oh yeah, consider that might be happening. I caught an owner sitting in his car listening on his radio to the baby monitor he'd hidden IN MY BEDROOM. And oh yeah, I was staying there with my DH as the owner very well knew. Just because it's outrageous doesn't mean some idiot owner isn't doing it. Assume the worst may be happening and adjust your behavior accordingly.
And hang in there. Keep telling yourself this mantra: stepping stone, stepping stone, stepping stone..
Ditto Muirford - OMG! That beats any PITA experience I have heard.
Then I had the thought of what my DH would have done upon finding that monitor. I am sure that owner would have gotten an ear full and would be still beat red of what they 'heard'. I think the icing on the cake would have been to keep the act going, all while sneaking up to the car, monitor in hand.
whattha.gif

 
Sounds like you're both handling it all very well. It's a shame that she's adverse to change that can be positive and help improve the guests' experience.
Doesn't sound like you'll be able to go very far with this particular job, so I'd continue to look somewhere else.
In the meantime, hang in there!!
 
birdwatcher, her behavior is outrageous but you are handling it well so give yourself the pat on the back you deserve.
What would I do? Hold my breath while she's there and count down the moments til she leaves.
And look for another gig pronto. You work too hard to be treated that way.
Will this woman ever find an innkeeper she trusts? No.
Will her inn ever be as successful as it could be if she would only behave as though she has an ounce of respect for her employees? Of course not.
Meanwhile, enjoy the peace of her departure as much as you can. And get that search going for the next gig.
Chances are very good that you'll find a more respectful owner who will be appreciative of the investment of time and energy you are making.
It would, quite truthfully, be difficult to imagine a worse one.
Oh, and on the camera possibility someone else raised. Oh yeah, consider that might be happening. I caught an owner sitting in his car listening on his radio to the baby monitor he'd hidden IN MY BEDROOM. And oh yeah, I was staying there with my DH as the owner very well knew. Just because it's outrageous doesn't mean some idiot owner isn't doing it. Assume the worst may be happening and adjust your behavior accordingly.
And hang in there. Keep telling yourself this mantra: stepping stone, stepping stone, stepping stone..
Ditto Muirford - OMG! That beats any PITA experience I have heard.
Then I had the thought of what my DH would have done upon finding that monitor. I am sure that owner would have gotten an ear full and would be still beat red of what they 'heard'. I think the icing on the cake would have been to keep the act going, all while sneaking up to the car, monitor in hand.
whattha.gif

.
Actually we left the monitor in place and walked up to the car, catching him in the act of listening.
I'm a poet. When we realized what we thought it looked like he was doing (but couldn't really believe), we tuned our iTunes to some of my old poetry readings and turned the volume up a bit. When we quietly walked up to the car, it was actually my voice coming from the speaker. No way out.
 
Thanks to all of you and I am still searching, the problem is if we do find something better how do we get a reference from someone like that? I am counting down the days and Husband talked to her today and told her that many things that "she just didn't think about" like closing the dining room door to keep the air in it and also for noise barrier-Oh I never would have thought of that?! or "Is this your regular breakfasts?" We have give a complete gourmet breakfast and I look for recipes all the time and if we have a repeat guest that has been here now for three weeks I try to not repeat too many dishes...duh!!!
It just goes to show you that whomever was Innkeeping in the past did not stay long or she didn't pay attention to what was going on or they may not have had the experience we do-hubbie told her that we will care for her Inn like we did ours and some things we can take care of and she should not worry about it and some more important things we will call her. She told him she was "worried" about me cause I go go go...ISNT IT MY JOB?! HELLO?
So Im counting the days and will fix things the way she wants then move them back to what we think a guest would like. And the truth is that she won't have a successful Inn with the way she wants things done HER WAY.
My only solence is that she is quite far away and can't really surprise us. Spoke to the guy that was doing the foundation and he said as soon as she came to visit, the Inneepers where gone within two months...thats really scary! But the thing is...she doesn't scare me and maybe that is what bothers her cause we are doing the job very well together and she commented on "how well you work together!" DUH!!!
Will keep you all in the know...good night
 
Thanks to all of you and I am still searching, the problem is if we do find something better how do we get a reference from someone like that? I am counting down the days and Husband talked to her today and told her that many things that "she just didn't think about" like closing the dining room door to keep the air in it and also for noise barrier-Oh I never would have thought of that?! or "Is this your regular breakfasts?" We have give a complete gourmet breakfast and I look for recipes all the time and if we have a repeat guest that has been here now for three weeks I try to not repeat too many dishes...duh!!!
It just goes to show you that whomever was Innkeeping in the past did not stay long or she didn't pay attention to what was going on or they may not have had the experience we do-hubbie told her that we will care for her Inn like we did ours and some things we can take care of and she should not worry about it and some more important things we will call her. She told him she was "worried" about me cause I go go go...ISNT IT MY JOB?! HELLO?
So Im counting the days and will fix things the way she wants then move them back to what we think a guest would like. And the truth is that she won't have a successful Inn with the way she wants things done HER WAY.
My only solence is that she is quite far away and can't really surprise us. Spoke to the guy that was doing the foundation and he said as soon as she came to visit, the Inneepers where gone within two months...thats really scary! But the thing is...she doesn't scare me and maybe that is what bothers her cause we are doing the job very well together and she commented on "how well you work together!" DUH!!!
Will keep you all in the know...good night.
birdwatcher said:
But the thing is...she doesn't scare me and maybe that is what bothers her cause we are doing the job very well together and she commented on "how well you work together!"
And there you have the key to any balance you can find in this situation.
As for the reference, worry about that later. Find the gig first.
Eventually you're going to have enough references and can just list this inn as a place you managed.
Meanwhile, big hugs to you and DH. You are both handling this very well and, who knows, may make an impossible situation work out in the end.
 
My take.....
Napoleon complex.........she has to make sure you know she is boss and in charge
Unfortunately.......you are responsible for her success............she thinks she is.
My guess she is not fully comfortable with this arrangement.
 
I don't understand the whole thing, she could care less what my husband does, he can nap and do whatever but she wont question it, but this morning she asked me "what I do on the computer all day" now mind you she us usually not here she goes next door where she owns another house with antiques which in this town are not selling so what does she know what I do? and "when do you clean house?" I said well I'm not on it all day and I do clean house. and left it at that.
Why would she ask that? NO
Is there dirt everywhere? NO
Is there laundry everywhere?
Is the Inn dirty? NO
ONE MORE DAY!!!
Yup, I'll be looking for another gig....for now its all going to be ok it just doesn't make sense as to why she attacks me? Why? I try to be pleasant with her but she has to find fault where there is no reason.
Thanks for letting me vent. She said she wanted to meet with us for last pating words..wonder what that would be?
 
I don't understand the whole thing, she could care less what my husband does, he can nap and do whatever but she wont question it, but this morning she asked me "what I do on the computer all day" now mind you she us usually not here she goes next door where she owns another house with antiques which in this town are not selling so what does she know what I do? and "when do you clean house?" I said well I'm not on it all day and I do clean house. and left it at that.
Why would she ask that? NO
Is there dirt everywhere? NO
Is there laundry everywhere?
Is the Inn dirty? NO
ONE MORE DAY!!!
Yup, I'll be looking for another gig....for now its all going to be ok it just doesn't make sense as to why she attacks me? Why? I try to be pleasant with her but she has to find fault where there is no reason.
Thanks for letting me vent. She said she wanted to meet with us for last pating words..wonder what that would be?.
Hang in there. I like One Day's idea. Maybe she feels threatened by YOU. Chummy and friendly with hubby. Some women in power are like that. They aren't threatened by the man, but seem to have something to prove to the woman.
I know a woman who is all sorts of friendly with the husbands, but when it comes to the wives...the claws come out. I have always just assumed a personality quirk, but who knows. Could be deeper than that.
Hold your head high. You can never go the wrong way when you take the high road.
 
It is interesting to me how many women have this power thing going on. When I worked in the corporate world, I cound not stand to work for a woman. Each and every woman manager had a thing about being the boss. Men (for the most part) take the job as that and I have found that they are faster to leave you to handle matters at a quicker rate than a woman in the same position. Women were also easier on the men.
BW, hope things return to normal when she is gone. Maybe if she sees the $$ start coming in she will begin to take a back seat. But keep looking for something better. One thing that has come out of this, you know have a better understanding of the level of responsibility you want when managing a B&B and I am sure you will have just as many questions to ask as are being asked of you in your next interview. As they say, hindsight is 20/20 so use it as foresight from here on.
 
I don't understand the whole thing, she could care less what my husband does, he can nap and do whatever but she wont question it, but this morning she asked me "what I do on the computer all day" now mind you she us usually not here she goes next door where she owns another house with antiques which in this town are not selling so what does she know what I do? and "when do you clean house?" I said well I'm not on it all day and I do clean house. and left it at that.
Why would she ask that? NO
Is there dirt everywhere? NO
Is there laundry everywhere?
Is the Inn dirty? NO
ONE MORE DAY!!!
Yup, I'll be looking for another gig....for now its all going to be ok it just doesn't make sense as to why she attacks me? Why? I try to be pleasant with her but she has to find fault where there is no reason.
Thanks for letting me vent. She said she wanted to meet with us for last pating words..wonder what that would be?.
Interesting about the computer thing. Is this your computer you are using? Does she have a way to track internet usage? Don't be surprised if she does.
Just think...we get this from guests all the time...so what do you DO all day?
And my daughter (mother of 3) gets it from her husband...so now she just tells him she's running low on bon bons.
 
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