Weddings

Bed & Breakfast / Short Term Rental Host Forum

Help Support Bed & Breakfast / Short Term Rental Host Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

IronGate

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 9, 2008
Messages
476
Reaction score
0
I've read in several threads about how much work weddings are. Some have even said to avoid them, and I'm wondering why.
I completely understand how the whole bridezilla, it's-all-about-me, mob mentality can take over and ruin the atmosphere for other guests. I'm just wondering, as part of a wedding package, are you doing things you don't normally do? Are you adding catering? Rearranging furniture to accommodate?
It just seems to me that weddings can be controlled with some strictly enforced policies, such as the party has to book ALL rooms (not just all available rooms) for at least two nights, catering must be handled through a third party who will not have access to the facility until after xx o'clock, etc.
Thoughts?
 
Because you can make more money on TWO night stay than the entire months of aggravation for a wedding. You need to be HEAVILY STAFFED, so you have to pay people etc. You have ten times the work and very little $return!
 
Because you can make more money on TWO night stay than the entire months of aggravation for a wedding. You need to be HEAVILY STAFFED, so you have to pay people etc. You have ten times the work and very little $return!.
JunieBJones (JBJ) said:
Because you can make more money on TWO night stay than the entire months of aggravation for a wedding. You need to be HEAVILY STAFFED, so you have to pay people etc. You have ten times the work and very little $return!
I guess that's the question -- what are you doing differently that you need more staff for? Not trying to be irritating or argumentative, just figuring out what I really want to provide, and how to price for it when I finally get my place opened. (I'm big on planning.)
 
Where is this going to take place, what about the decorations, will we have access to this and that and the other thing, why can't the caterer arrive before x o'clock?, the flower delivery, the make-up person arriving, the photographer being all over the place, the pie-faced guests before, during, and after the ceremony. There are a jillion details that bridezilla's MOTHER will be asking every other hour for the month leading up to the event - oops, now Hannah is going to drop her load of rain on our parade, are the tents going to hold up or even still be there? Will the parking lot be a parking lot or a swamp? Yes, I know our wedding is not until next month, but will everything still be there or did it blow away with Hannah? That lovely flower garden, is it still lovely?
There are so many valid questions and stupid concerns that will drive you nuts. I used to work at a Holiday Inn, relief night audit which means front desk nights. I HATED weddings and I was just dealing with the exhausted, now-poverty-stricken father of the bride, a hyper mother of the bride with a laundry list of things she felt did not happen as she wanted (even if it did as was supposed to), drunken guests who were arrogant about having a room available to them now - at 11 pm or later on a Saturday night and incredulous that none was available...... Shall I go on?
 
Because you can make more money on TWO night stay than the entire months of aggravation for a wedding. You need to be HEAVILY STAFFED, so you have to pay people etc. You have ten times the work and very little $return!.
JunieBJones (JBJ) said:
Because you can make more money on TWO night stay than the entire months of aggravation for a wedding. You need to be HEAVILY STAFFED, so you have to pay people etc. You have ten times the work and very little $return!
I guess that's the question -- what are you doing differently that you need more staff for? Not trying to be irritating or argumentative, just figuring out what I really want to provide, and how to price for it when I finally get my place opened. (I'm big on planning.)
.
IronGate said:
JunieBJones (JBJ) said:
Because you can make more money on TWO night stay than the entire months of aggravation for a wedding. You need to be HEAVILY STAFFED, so you have to pay people etc. You have ten times the work and very little $return!
I guess that's the question -- what are you doing differently that you need more staff for? Not trying to be irritating or argumentative, just figuring out what I really want to provide, and how to price for it when I finally get my place opened. (I'm big on planning.)
Example: When I did hold a few functions here it was our entire family of 4 running ragged the entire time and we needed more help. Not just to prep and clean. 4 people. That is a small function.
Do you really want to spend 50 phone calls to this event the first week or two? Is your time worth anything?
When they must book the entire inn and/or have a facility fee they act like you are a scumbag trying to just rip them off.
You have not planned an event like this before or you will know what I mean. If you want to do small elopements, go for it.
But like I said you make more on a wedding night at your place than a wedding.
 
I can only speak from my own experience with six rooms and no space big enough to do a wedding onsite if it's more than a dozen or so people.
On a normal weekend from March through November, I can book my rooms for a weekend two-night stay for six separate couples who don't know each other. They will spend some time in the common areas but most of their time in their rooms or out sightseeing. They might have a couple of hours socializing with some or most of the other guests in the inn in the living room or on the back porch.
I can sometimes also book them for a wedding or any group function, with these additional hassles: they will bring food and drink and leave dirty glasses and dishes (which they've raided from my pantry) all over the living room, porch and library; they will use all of the rooms as common rooms with the ensuing commotion and running around, over my head when I am trying to sleep; if they want to have a caterer come in, that person will infringe upon my kitchen and my owner's quarters to prep and serve, and will take up space I need for breakfast stuff (I don't have a walk-in refrigerator or commercial oven and dishwasher); someone will not want to have the room with the detached bath; the arranger of the group will not know about all the special diet issues/early or late arrivals in advance so that will be my problem at check-in. On and on it goes. Groups are a lot more work than individual rooms - price and plan accordingly.
I have a family group here this weekend. Already I have had to ask them not to take items out of the guest refrigerator if they didn't put them in there (they thought another couples' bottled water were freely available) and not to use the back porch for their gab sessions after 10:00 at night. They are all very nice people, but it has taken a lot of my time with arrangements for them this weekend and I am not getting compensated much for the extras. I don't have a lot of spare time, nor as much patience as I'd like in dealing with some of the nits.
When it all works, though - I've had two lovely, not-too-painful, SMALL weddings here and it's been fine.
 
Why? Because no matter what kind of wedding packages you put together and policies you write, they all want exceptions to them. "Can I have this instead of that? It's got to be easier." And they don't want to pay extra for anything that you go out of your way to do for them. This is all from a friend of mine who has had her own business in the past before opening a B&B and they started out with about a half dozen wedding packages. They have a great setup for weddings too. They are now down to a few wedding packages that they are willing to do. They love the elopements and the really small weddings. Dealing with all the guests and the general brouhaha can just wear you down. Even when they had a wedding planner that worked for them.
But, there are B&Bs out there that host weddings and other events and it must work for them, or they wouldn't do it. I think it's easier to do them if you have staff and work with a set caterer, florist, etc.
We don't have the room to do them here. I just got a call this morning & referred the caller to some other venues. This time I remembered to be sure to tell them that we love having the wedding night couples and also any guests.
teeth_smile.gif
 
The biggest consistent aggravation with weddings for us has been that no matter how much you talk to the wedding party and how many x's are signed on your policy by the wedding party, their guests did not sign that policy nor did they receive a copy of the policies and they are clueless about your policies and think that the entire inn has been rented, including your OQ, and that they can do whatever the heck they want to do and go where ever they want to go.
And since no one READS, your signs and policies mean nothing, and because EVERY SINGLE one of them is a "special" member of the family or friend of the family, it'll be ok if they go in here, or do this, because the bride needs them, you know?
This is like late check ins and early arrivals, it goes on in EVERY event, there is NOTHING you can do about it.
 
for me, the big questions are
do you have private space to retreat to as the guests are in all the common areas and continue to party and talk and eat and drink and watch tv and play music and want to cook far into the night? do you have big common areas with kitchen facilities?
that is what you need.
i have a wedding group here right now. they are all nice.
but they are a lot of work because they are all getting ready or doing things all at the same time, all in party mode. they all eat at the same time, so all are needing things all at the same time. 20 people all together. nervous, excited people often do not want to wait!
there are little children and one infant in the mix. (which is why the breakfast room is so messy right now) they are running around and playing and fussing and fighting and just being kids.
the adults and kids will soon be showering and shaving and doing hair. the irons and ironing boards are all humming away.
the reception is at a tiny outdoor place with a tent ... when it's over, they will be gathering here because this is home base. it is foggy and rainy so the outdoor chairs will likely not help.
 
Why? Because no matter what kind of wedding packages you put together and policies you write, they all want exceptions to them. "Can I have this instead of that? It's got to be easier." And they don't want to pay extra for anything that you go out of your way to do for them. This is all from a friend of mine who has had her own business in the past before opening a B&B and they started out with about a half dozen wedding packages. They have a great setup for weddings too. They are now down to a few wedding packages that they are willing to do. They love the elopements and the really small weddings. Dealing with all the guests and the general brouhaha can just wear you down. Even when they had a wedding planner that worked for them.
But, there are B&Bs out there that host weddings and other events and it must work for them, or they wouldn't do it. I think it's easier to do them if you have staff and work with a set caterer, florist, etc.
We don't have the room to do them here. I just got a call this morning & referred the caller to some other venues. This time I remembered to be sure to tell them that we love having the wedding night couples and also any guests.
teeth_smile.gif
.
ITs called "PAY THE BIG BUCKS" and you can do whatever you want.:) And I do mean big bucks.. I don't know how they stand it...
What really works for several of my friends here is the elopement packages. They will allow parents or an attendant..but other than that...no guests!!! They are doing a booming business. I think they have each had abou 75 weddings/ elopements this year. Works for them.
 
We have had an inquiry about the wedding party (bride) staying here for December. The dad is a PITA. Showed him the rooms, he says ... we can have more people come and stay then ... no, the only room is the white chocolate room as it will hold ONE extra person at $25. extra .. he grumbled.
PIC explained that there will not be any inviting extra persons to breakfast or any extra persons staying on the property except those that are going to be registered. The bride seemed to understand but her dad ...
We have no idea how many it will entail to "help" the bride get ready. Not holding my breath for the booking and when they left, I said that I didn't care if they booked or not. They will book for 2 nights, but already the work sounds more than I want to do.
 
Why? Because no matter what kind of wedding packages you put together and policies you write, they all want exceptions to them. "Can I have this instead of that? It's got to be easier." And they don't want to pay extra for anything that you go out of your way to do for them. This is all from a friend of mine who has had her own business in the past before opening a B&B and they started out with about a half dozen wedding packages. They have a great setup for weddings too. They are now down to a few wedding packages that they are willing to do. They love the elopements and the really small weddings. Dealing with all the guests and the general brouhaha can just wear you down. Even when they had a wedding planner that worked for them.
But, there are B&Bs out there that host weddings and other events and it must work for them, or they wouldn't do it. I think it's easier to do them if you have staff and work with a set caterer, florist, etc.
We don't have the room to do them here. I just got a call this morning & referred the caller to some other venues. This time I remembered to be sure to tell them that we love having the wedding night couples and also any guests.
teeth_smile.gif
.
ITs called "PAY THE BIG BUCKS" and you can do whatever you want.:) And I do mean big bucks.. I don't know how they stand it...
What really works for several of my friends here is the elopement packages. They will allow parents or an attendant..but other than that...no guests!!! They are doing a booming business. I think they have each had abou 75 weddings/ elopements this year. Works for them.
.
Yes, the elopement packages or very simple weddings for 10 guests or less are going great for my friends as well. Her husband is the officiant and he is the perfect personality for that. They've done some very sweet elopements. These small weddings require at least one overnight room booking too and there are many guidelines in place.
 
Why? Because no matter what kind of wedding packages you put together and policies you write, they all want exceptions to them. "Can I have this instead of that? It's got to be easier." And they don't want to pay extra for anything that you go out of your way to do for them. This is all from a friend of mine who has had her own business in the past before opening a B&B and they started out with about a half dozen wedding packages. They have a great setup for weddings too. They are now down to a few wedding packages that they are willing to do. They love the elopements and the really small weddings. Dealing with all the guests and the general brouhaha can just wear you down. Even when they had a wedding planner that worked for them.
But, there are B&Bs out there that host weddings and other events and it must work for them, or they wouldn't do it. I think it's easier to do them if you have staff and work with a set caterer, florist, etc.
We don't have the room to do them here. I just got a call this morning & referred the caller to some other venues. This time I remembered to be sure to tell them that we love having the wedding night couples and also any guests.
teeth_smile.gif
.
ITs called "PAY THE BIG BUCKS" and you can do whatever you want.:) And I do mean big bucks.. I don't know how they stand it...
What really works for several of my friends here is the elopement packages. They will allow parents or an attendant..but other than that...no guests!!! They are doing a booming business. I think they have each had abou 75 weddings/ elopements this year. Works for them.
.
catlady said:
ITs called "PAY THE BIG BUCKS" and you can do whatever you want.:) And I do mean big bucks.. I don't know how they stand it...
What really works for several of my friends here is the elopement packages. They will allow parents or an attendant..but other than that...no guests!!! They are doing a booming business. I think they have each had abou 75 weddings/ elopements this year. Works for them.
As those increase, I think those are much preferred and even very enjoyable for us as innkeepers. You can have everything set and off you go. Simple. Issue I had was a simple wedding grew and grew and grew and I kept allowing it until we had to cancel it here.
 
Why? Because no matter what kind of wedding packages you put together and policies you write, they all want exceptions to them. "Can I have this instead of that? It's got to be easier." And they don't want to pay extra for anything that you go out of your way to do for them. This is all from a friend of mine who has had her own business in the past before opening a B&B and they started out with about a half dozen wedding packages. They have a great setup for weddings too. They are now down to a few wedding packages that they are willing to do. They love the elopements and the really small weddings. Dealing with all the guests and the general brouhaha can just wear you down. Even when they had a wedding planner that worked for them.
But, there are B&Bs out there that host weddings and other events and it must work for them, or they wouldn't do it. I think it's easier to do them if you have staff and work with a set caterer, florist, etc.
We don't have the room to do them here. I just got a call this morning & referred the caller to some other venues. This time I remembered to be sure to tell them that we love having the wedding night couples and also any guests.
teeth_smile.gif
.
ITs called "PAY THE BIG BUCKS" and you can do whatever you want.:) And I do mean big bucks.. I don't know how they stand it...
What really works for several of my friends here is the elopement packages. They will allow parents or an attendant..but other than that...no guests!!! They are doing a booming business. I think they have each had abou 75 weddings/ elopements this year. Works for them.
.
Yes, the elopement packages or very simple weddings for 10 guests or less are going great for my friends as well. Her husband is the officiant and he is the perfect personality for that. They've done some very sweet elopements. These small weddings require at least one overnight room booking too and there are many guidelines in place.
.
Samster said:
Yes, the elopement packages or very simple weddings for 10 guests or less are going great for my friends as well. Her husband is the officiant and he is the perfect personality for that. They've done some very sweet elopements. These small weddings require at least one overnight room booking too and there are many guidelines in place.
That's the word I was trying to think of, the other is Celebrant. Officiant and Celebrant.
 
We have had an inquiry about the wedding party (bride) staying here for December. The dad is a PITA. Showed him the rooms, he says ... we can have more people come and stay then ... no, the only room is the white chocolate room as it will hold ONE extra person at $25. extra .. he grumbled.
PIC explained that there will not be any inviting extra persons to breakfast or any extra persons staying on the property except those that are going to be registered. The bride seemed to understand but her dad ...
We have no idea how many it will entail to "help" the bride get ready. Not holding my breath for the booking and when they left, I said that I didn't care if they booked or not. They will book for 2 nights, but already the work sounds more than I want to do..
casa chocolate - red flags all over your post - sounds like dad will send others along or tell them it is okay or others will just show up or the bride (or other guests) will 'forget' that they can't eat there too, etc. they will want to take pictures all over and suddenly folks are everywhere.
not out of mean-ness ... but because your place is lovely. and who wouldn't want pictures of the bride getting ready? etc. i can see it quickly turning into a 'pool party'.
if you want to do it, it has to be a whole house rental, plus additional fees which i don't think they'll want to pay.
 
We have had an inquiry about the wedding party (bride) staying here for December. The dad is a PITA. Showed him the rooms, he says ... we can have more people come and stay then ... no, the only room is the white chocolate room as it will hold ONE extra person at $25. extra .. he grumbled.
PIC explained that there will not be any inviting extra persons to breakfast or any extra persons staying on the property except those that are going to be registered. The bride seemed to understand but her dad ...
We have no idea how many it will entail to "help" the bride get ready. Not holding my breath for the booking and when they left, I said that I didn't care if they booked or not. They will book for 2 nights, but already the work sounds more than I want to do..
casa chocolate - red flags all over your post - sounds like dad will send others along or tell them it is okay or others will just show up or the bride (or other guests) will 'forget' that they can't eat there too, etc. they will want to take pictures all over and suddenly folks are everywhere.
not out of mean-ness ... but because your place is lovely. and who wouldn't want pictures of the bride getting ready? etc. i can see it quickly turning into a 'pool party'.
if you want to do it, it has to be a whole house rental, plus additional fees which i don't think they'll want to pay.
.
I have been learning ... there will be a list of rules. She has already been told that there are not to be extras. She will sign and if she has extras, we will point out the extra costs. They are taking the whole house ... but I am still not liking the dad. The mom/wife passed away a few years ago so it seems like it is a father/daughter team.
She said she understood our rules. But we will be tacking on extra costs for anything she adds. Dad is a cheap skate ... he kept re-adding the prices. I think that we are too expensive for what he wants to pay :)
 
Additional reasons than those already mentioned:
For a non-wedding day it is no problem if the nextdoor neighbor fires up his lawnmower at noon and mows his lawn ... for a 12:00 outdoor wedding, that's a problem. So you have to go ask if he can take a break for a while (he may or may not be understanding about it) Then when there are more people than you allowed and they are parking all over and blocking part of your neighbor's driveway or parked on their lawn...then the person you asked to be understanding is not likely to be so understanding. When the wedding gets a little noisier than you would like and the neighbor is annoyed by the noise.... (you see where this is going).
It's not to say that B&B's shouldn't do weddings. They can be successful if that is what you want to offer as your target niche (where you do them all the time and have all the connections). However if it is just something you are going to do once in a while when asked for by potential guests, then it is probably better off to avoid them.
 
Additional reasons than those already mentioned:
For a non-wedding day it is no problem if the nextdoor neighbor fires up his lawnmower at noon and mows his lawn ... for a 12:00 outdoor wedding, that's a problem. So you have to go ask if he can take a break for a while (he may or may not be understanding about it) Then when there are more people than you allowed and they are parking all over and blocking part of your neighbor's driveway or parked on their lawn...then the person you asked to be understanding is not likely to be so understanding. When the wedding gets a little noisier than you would like and the neighbor is annoyed by the noise.... (you see where this is going).
It's not to say that B&B's shouldn't do weddings. They can be successful if that is what you want to offer as your target niche (where you do them all the time and have all the connections). However if it is just something you are going to do once in a while when asked for by potential guests, then it is probably better off to avoid them..
swirt said:
Additional reasons than those already mentioned:
For a non-wedding day it is no problem if the nextdoor neighbor fires up his lawnmower at noon and mows his lawn ... for a 12:00 outdoor wedding, that's a problem. So you have to go ask if he can take a break for a while (he may or may not be understanding about it) Then when there are more people than you allowed and they are parking all over and blocking part of your neighbor's driveway or parked on their lawn...then the person you asked to be understanding is not likely to be so understanding. When the wedding gets a little noisier than you would like and the neighbor is annoyed by the noise.... (you see where this is going).
It's not to say that B&B's shouldn't do weddings. They can be successful if that is what you want to offer as your target niche (where you do them all the time and have all the connections). However if it is just something you are going to do once in a while when asked for by potential guests, then it is probably better off to avoid them.
I agree. If you want to do weddings, you will be turning away B&B guests, the two do not mix, and you need to have every rule and boundary set up in advance, then an entire team to keep those rules and boundaries. That is what I was trying to say.
Let me add the obvious, weddings are not in Dec, they are usually in your busiest season. They would not be midweek, but on a Sat, typically. I am talking $$, losing money to hold a wedding there.
 
Additional reasons than those already mentioned:
For a non-wedding day it is no problem if the nextdoor neighbor fires up his lawnmower at noon and mows his lawn ... for a 12:00 outdoor wedding, that's a problem. So you have to go ask if he can take a break for a while (he may or may not be understanding about it) Then when there are more people than you allowed and they are parking all over and blocking part of your neighbor's driveway or parked on their lawn...then the person you asked to be understanding is not likely to be so understanding. When the wedding gets a little noisier than you would like and the neighbor is annoyed by the noise.... (you see where this is going).
It's not to say that B&B's shouldn't do weddings. They can be successful if that is what you want to offer as your target niche (where you do them all the time and have all the connections). However if it is just something you are going to do once in a while when asked for by potential guests, then it is probably better off to avoid them..
swirt said:
Additional reasons than those already mentioned:
For a non-wedding day it is no problem if the nextdoor neighbor fires up his lawnmower at noon and mows his lawn ... for a 12:00 outdoor wedding, that's a problem. So you have to go ask if he can take a break for a while (he may or may not be understanding about it) Then when there are more people than you allowed and they are parking all over and blocking part of your neighbor's driveway or parked on their lawn...then the person you asked to be understanding is not likely to be so understanding. When the wedding gets a little noisier than you would like and the neighbor is annoyed by the noise.... (you see where this is going).
It's not to say that B&B's shouldn't do weddings. They can be successful if that is what you want to offer as your target niche (where you do them all the time and have all the connections). However if it is just something you are going to do once in a while when asked for by potential guests, then it is probably better off to avoid them.
I agree. If you want to do weddings, you will be turning away B&B guests, the two do not mix, and you need to have every rule and boundary set up in advance, then an entire team to keep those rules and boundaries. That is what I was trying to say.
Let me add the obvious, weddings are not in Dec, they are usually in your busiest season. They would not be midweek, but on a Sat, typically. I am talking $$, losing money to hold a wedding there.
.
Small weddings will be something we would do--the location is perfect unless the bride and groom get hit with a wayward golfball! Could someone tell me the websites of other B&B's that do small packages for elopements?
 
Additional reasons than those already mentioned:
For a non-wedding day it is no problem if the nextdoor neighbor fires up his lawnmower at noon and mows his lawn ... for a 12:00 outdoor wedding, that's a problem. So you have to go ask if he can take a break for a while (he may or may not be understanding about it) Then when there are more people than you allowed and they are parking all over and blocking part of your neighbor's driveway or parked on their lawn...then the person you asked to be understanding is not likely to be so understanding. When the wedding gets a little noisier than you would like and the neighbor is annoyed by the noise.... (you see where this is going).
It's not to say that B&B's shouldn't do weddings. They can be successful if that is what you want to offer as your target niche (where you do them all the time and have all the connections). However if it is just something you are going to do once in a while when asked for by potential guests, then it is probably better off to avoid them..
swirt said:
Additional reasons than those already mentioned:
For a non-wedding day it is no problem if the nextdoor neighbor fires up his lawnmower at noon and mows his lawn ... for a 12:00 outdoor wedding, that's a problem. So you have to go ask if he can take a break for a while (he may or may not be understanding about it) Then when there are more people than you allowed and they are parking all over and blocking part of your neighbor's driveway or parked on their lawn...then the person you asked to be understanding is not likely to be so understanding. When the wedding gets a little noisier than you would like and the neighbor is annoyed by the noise.... (you see where this is going).
It's not to say that B&B's shouldn't do weddings. They can be successful if that is what you want to offer as your target niche (where you do them all the time and have all the connections). However if it is just something you are going to do once in a while when asked for by potential guests, then it is probably better off to avoid them.
I agree. If you want to do weddings, you will be turning away B&B guests, the two do not mix, and you need to have every rule and boundary set up in advance, then an entire team to keep those rules and boundaries. That is what I was trying to say.
Let me add the obvious, weddings are not in Dec, they are usually in your busiest season. They would not be midweek, but on a Sat, typically. I am talking $$, losing money to hold a wedding there.
.
Small weddings will be something we would do--the location is perfect unless the bride and groom get hit with a wayward golfball! Could someone tell me the websites of other B&B's that do small packages for elopements?
.
riverbendnewbie said:
Small weddings will be something we would do--the location is perfect unless the bride and groom get hit with a wayward golfball! Could someone tell me the websites of other B&B's that do small packages for elopements?
BnBfinder.com/Weddings has list you can download, but I had difficulty with their hyperlinks. It kept taking me back to the Weddings page.
 
Back
Top