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JunieBJones (JBJ)

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This is a strange question.
But last night we went to the theater and people beside us ask this question right off the get-go. I don't know them, not even their names. I thought back later and said later to DH I never ask people that question, but there are these people who ask you so you will ASK THEM. I see it all the time and it drives me nuts.
If it comes up in conversation, then fine. But to ask that as the second line in your conversation to a stranger is very bold. I didn't want to talk about my job.
I got up to stretch and get a drink and in the car later DH said, they have 4 kids, she is a principal, he does this, they do that, their drive is this long to get home tonight, blah blah blah.
I guess with so many personal questions here at the B&B I thought a night out finally away from kids, guests, all that chit chat would be more private for us. Instead we were sitting around sticky beaks.
 

JunieBJones (JBJ)

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We had this once at a full table here, long story, but funny one where two were CIA, and two were FBI (one attending the academy) and then there sat this British couple asking everyone what they did and NOONE would answer. Finally one said we work for the government.
When they checked out she mentioned she was really embarrassed about that, and at the B&B they stayed prior to here everyone was asking THEM that quesiton, so they thought it was what you do in America.
I assured her only nosy people get all in your business like that. Then I told her the rest of the story which will be a good story from her journeys here to retell when she gets home.
 

YellowSocks

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I make breakfast for strangers, then clean their toilet.
=)
Kk.
 

amkaylor

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My husband is a remodeling carpenter, and we hate this question, as well. Mostly because every time he responds with what he does, people immediately "have work" for him to do, as well. Or, they immediately start asking him for advice about something they are doing on their own at home.
It gets old and annoying, not to mention it's rude. Even moreso, they think they are entitled to a discount because an evening of small talk immediately makes them friends. Or because we both know the host of the party where we met.
 

Morticia

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OK, I do have to say that I thought this was a question you got at breakfast! We DO get that a LOT...'So, what do you do for work?'
I wasn't at breakfast quite at 8 one day and someone asked hubs if I had gone to work.
Of course, the answer is, 'Nothing, I'm retired.'
 

JunieBJones (JBJ)

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OK, I do have to say that I thought this was a question you got at breakfast! We DO get that a LOT...'So, what do you do for work?'
I wasn't at breakfast quite at 8 one day and someone asked hubs if I had gone to work.
Of course, the answer is, 'Nothing, I'm retired.'.
Bree said:
OK, I do have to say that I thought this was a question you got at breakfast! We DO get that a LOT...'So, what do you do for work?'
I wasn't at breakfast quite at 8 one day and someone asked hubs if I had gone to work.
Of course, the answer is, 'Nothing, I'm retired.'
I had that this week, "Dh goes to work, so this is all you do?" Yeah, all.
 

EmptyNest

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It is so interesting ...one of the things discussed in a New Earth is "WHO ARE YOU...really?"
Everything we are used to saying about who we are ... are merely LABELS. People want to label everyone and put them in the "right place"...do they fit in my circle? Can they help me in some way, Are they good enough etc etc
Alot of deep thinking here lately. Try to enter into a conversation with anyone WITHOUT asking things like "what do you do?", where do you work? etc It is all labeling...and not doing it is REALLY hard!!!
Sorry I am in one of my pensive moods today with this weather.
Oops...I just updated Firefox again, reloaded and guess what...still no new emoticons with it????
 

hawley

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I find this discussion strange. When business people meet, that is usually the first question people ask. It is a way of getting to know you. I don't think of it as nosey.
I also find it funny in a different way too. My husband has a Phd and just retired. But for years, his choice of clothes if he can get away with it is overalls, T shirts and flannel shirts. He also wears one of those head scarves that tie at the back. So most people that meet him outside of his job, assume he is a farmer, biker, or some other thing like that.
It is fun to watch people question him and put him in a slot of some kind. Then to see someone else question him and put him in a different slot. Or see a piece of mailing that is to Dr. -----. etc. Nothing fits with their perception.
For irreverent wives, Phd stands for 'piled higher and deeper'.
 

JunieBJones (JBJ)

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It is so interesting ...one of the things discussed in a New Earth is "WHO ARE YOU...really?"
Everything we are used to saying about who we are ... are merely LABELS. People want to label everyone and put them in the "right place"...do they fit in my circle? Can they help me in some way, Are they good enough etc etc
Alot of deep thinking here lately. Try to enter into a conversation with anyone WITHOUT asking things like "what do you do?", where do you work? etc It is all labeling...and not doing it is REALLY hard!!!
Sorry I am in one of my pensive moods today with this weather.
Oops...I just updated Firefox again, reloaded and guess what...still no new emoticons with it????.
catlady said:
It is so interesting ...one of the things discussed in a New Earth is "WHO ARE YOU...really?"
Everything we are used to saying about who we are ... are merely LABELS. People want to label everyone and put them in the "right place"...do they fit in my circle? Can they help me in some way, Are they good enough etc etc
Alot of deep thinking here lately. Try to enter into a conversation with anyone WITHOUT asking things like "what do you do?", where do you work? etc It is all labeling...and not doing it is REALLY hard!!!
Sorry I am in one of my pensive moods today with this weather.
Oops...I just updated Firefox again, reloaded and guess what...still no new emoticons with it????
I am much different to the average person. I think this way all the time, I don't want to know what you do. You tell me and I have preconceived ideas about you off the mark.
Of course where we (both of us) live, in this state, letters after your name are most important. Show me what you DO, not what you say. I think of the people I admire most in the whole world - it doesn't matter what they do for a living. It is way beyond that. I look at their life and the impact they make. I know some people think it is an ice breaker, opens a door to talk about something you are familiar with. I think that is it most of the time. But the other portion just want you to find out about them. Those are the least interesting people in my opinion.
Do you find it is like digging for gems, you start on the hard surface then start diggin deeper and the soil kinda gives way and you find all sorts of interesting things.
 

JunieBJones (JBJ)

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I find this discussion strange. When business people meet, that is usually the first question people ask. It is a way of getting to know you. I don't think of it as nosey.
I also find it funny in a different way too. My husband has a Phd and just retired. But for years, his choice of clothes if he can get away with it is overalls, T shirts and flannel shirts. He also wears one of those head scarves that tie at the back. So most people that meet him outside of his job, assume he is a farmer, biker, or some other thing like that.
It is fun to watch people question him and put him in a slot of some kind. Then to see someone else question him and put him in a different slot. Or see a piece of mailing that is to Dr. -----. etc. Nothing fits with their perception.
For irreverent wives, Phd stands for 'piled higher and deeper'..
hawley said:
I find this discussion strange. When business people meet, that is usually the first question people ask. It is a way of getting to know you. I don't think of it as nosey.
I also find it funny in a different way too. My husband has a Phd and just retired. But for years, his choice of clothes if he can get away with it is overalls, T shirts and flannel shirts. He also wears one of those head scarves that tie at the back. So most people that meet him outside of his job, assume he is a farmer, biker, or some other thing like that.
It is fun to watch people question him and put him in a slot of some kind. Then to see someone else question him and put him in a different slot. Or see a piece of mailing that is to Dr. -----. etc. Nothing fits with their perception.
For irreverent wives, Phd stands for 'piled higher and deeper'.
There have been some of the most unusual guests stay here that I learned the most from. I was telling them that this morning about this man who had an entire solar powered home and orchards. His whole orchard was made from grafts of famous persons fruit trees. (This discussion ensured after the apples were a hit). That was his hobby, and that was why he was here, to collect a piece of an apple tree from Thomas Jefferson or Patrick Henry or someone. I found this fascinating.
The next day the table had the "what do you do discussion" and he reluctantly mentioned he was an astro-physicist or something way out of my arena. In fact he lived up near Riki somewhere in the mountains near Charlottesville VA. One cool dude!
 

EmptyNest

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I find this discussion strange. When business people meet, that is usually the first question people ask. It is a way of getting to know you. I don't think of it as nosey.
I also find it funny in a different way too. My husband has a Phd and just retired. But for years, his choice of clothes if he can get away with it is overalls, T shirts and flannel shirts. He also wears one of those head scarves that tie at the back. So most people that meet him outside of his job, assume he is a farmer, biker, or some other thing like that.
It is fun to watch people question him and put him in a slot of some kind. Then to see someone else question him and put him in a different slot. Or see a piece of mailing that is to Dr. -----. etc. Nothing fits with their perception.
For irreverent wives, Phd stands for 'piled higher and deeper'..
hawley said:
I find this discussion strange. When business people meet, that is usually the first question people ask. It is a way of getting to know you. I don't think of it as nosey.
I also find it funny in a different way too. My husband has a Phd and just retired. But for years, his choice of clothes if he can get away with it is overalls, T shirts and flannel shirts. He also wears one of those head scarves that tie at the back. So most people that meet him outside of his job, assume he is a farmer, biker, or some other thing like that.
It is fun to watch people question him and put him in a slot of some kind. Then to see someone else question him and put him in a different slot. Or see a piece of mailing that is to Dr. -----. etc. Nothing fits with their perception.
For irreverent wives, Phd stands for 'piled higher and deeper'.
There have been some of the most unusual guests stay here that I learned the most from. I was telling them that this morning about this man who had an entire solar powered home and orchards. His whole orchard was made from grafts of famous persons fruit trees. (This discussion ensured after the apples were a hit). That was his hobby, and that was why he was here, to collect a piece of an apple tree from Thomas Jefferson or Patrick Henry or someone. I found this fascinating.
The next day the table had the "what do you do discussion" and he reluctantly mentioned he was an astro-physicist or something way out of my arena. In fact he lived up near Riki somewhere in the mountains near Charlottesville VA. One cool dude!
.
I think I know him.or at least of him...I wish I could remember what magazine it was in....a huge article about this apples etc... Really interesting. Doggone..I meant to save that ...I know I have it somewhere...maybe it was a web site...I think it was...hmmm do a search on his name and see if something comes up. I will need to look through all my zillion bookmarks because I wanted to go there in the fall sometime.
 

gillumhouse

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OK, guilty. We ask our guests (if they have not already said) what they do in (whatever State/city) and then we ask what they do for fun. Both have started some very interesting discussions. Last weekend we had DH and one man talking motorcycles, the 2 wives were talking about - I do not remember but were so engaged that they ended by exchanging contact info, and the other man & I were talking sailing. When I asked what he does for fun - the gates opened and the discussion rolled! We have both had such varied interests that we can get into great conversations as long as they stay away from metaphysics, etc.
And a friend who was studying for her phD refers to it as a post hole digger.
 

EmptyNest

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OK, guilty. We ask our guests (if they have not already said) what they do in (whatever State/city) and then we ask what they do for fun. Both have started some very interesting discussions. Last weekend we had DH and one man talking motorcycles, the 2 wives were talking about - I do not remember but were so engaged that they ended by exchanging contact info, and the other man & I were talking sailing. When I asked what he does for fun - the gates opened and the discussion rolled! We have both had such varied interests that we can get into great conversations as long as they stay away from metaphysics, etc.
And a friend who was studying for her phD refers to it as a post hole digger..
See one thing I agreed with my husband about:)
We NEVER asked our guests, what they did, or anything really personal. We figured if they brought it up on their own in conversation it was fine but we never would be the ones to ask that.
As much as I was curious, he convinced me that we respect their privacy when they stayed with us. We were providing the bed and the breakfast and any assistance we could give them..but their lives were really none of our business. So our talk usually centered around "things to do" making dinner reservations and answering any questions they had. If in conversation, other personal info came up, fine..but we didn't ask.
 

JunieBJones (JBJ)

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OK, guilty. We ask our guests (if they have not already said) what they do in (whatever State/city) and then we ask what they do for fun. Both have started some very interesting discussions. Last weekend we had DH and one man talking motorcycles, the 2 wives were talking about - I do not remember but were so engaged that they ended by exchanging contact info, and the other man & I were talking sailing. When I asked what he does for fun - the gates opened and the discussion rolled! We have both had such varied interests that we can get into great conversations as long as they stay away from metaphysics, etc.
And a friend who was studying for her phD refers to it as a post hole digger..
See one thing I agreed with my husband about:)
We NEVER asked our guests, what they did, or anything really personal. We figured if they brought it up on their own in conversation it was fine but we never would be the ones to ask that.
As much as I was curious, he convinced me that we respect their privacy when they stayed with us. We were providing the bed and the breakfast and any assistance we could give them..but their lives were really none of our business. So our talk usually centered around "things to do" making dinner reservations and answering any questions they had. If in conversation, other personal info came up, fine..but we didn't ask.
.
catlady said:
See one thing I agreed with my husband about:)
We NEVER asked our guests, what they did, or anything really personal. We figured if they brought it up on their own in conversation it was fine but we never would be the ones to ask that.
As much as I was curious, he convinced me that we respect their privacy when they stayed with us. We were providing the bed and the breakfast and any assistance we could give them..but their lives were really none of our business. So our talk usually centered around "things to do" making dinner reservations and answering any questions they had. If in conversation, other personal info came up, fine..but we didn't ask.
Your proximity to DC was probably what prompted that. We can sure google if we feel the urge, but we don't ask anyone either. In fact, we have an unspoken rule as well. The man who is very wealthy and his wife who stayed here never said a word, but his name kept ringing a bell for me, so I googled him. I thought later on that those guests never knew they were dining with a multi-millionaire. I think that is cool and the way it should be.

 

gillumhouse

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OK, guilty. We ask our guests (if they have not already said) what they do in (whatever State/city) and then we ask what they do for fun. Both have started some very interesting discussions. Last weekend we had DH and one man talking motorcycles, the 2 wives were talking about - I do not remember but were so engaged that they ended by exchanging contact info, and the other man & I were talking sailing. When I asked what he does for fun - the gates opened and the discussion rolled! We have both had such varied interests that we can get into great conversations as long as they stay away from metaphysics, etc.
And a friend who was studying for her phD refers to it as a post hole digger..
See one thing I agreed with my husband about:)
We NEVER asked our guests, what they did, or anything really personal. We figured if they brought it up on their own in conversation it was fine but we never would be the ones to ask that.
As much as I was curious, he convinced me that we respect their privacy when they stayed with us. We were providing the bed and the breakfast and any assistance we could give them..but their lives were really none of our business. So our talk usually centered around "things to do" making dinner reservations and answering any questions they had. If in conversation, other personal info came up, fine..but we didn't ask.
.
We do not have a plethora of things to do unless I do a routing and I tailor routings to their interests. I have found our guests usually enjoy talking about themselves and you have to start somewhere. We do not start the conversation with, Well, what do YOU do? But if there is a lag, I am going to try to fill it with them talking about whatever interests them. If the answer is a generalization we slide to so you like sports? or some such thing.
Conversations do need to get started and usually need some common ground for it to be a conversation.
 

Penelope

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OK, I do have to say that I thought this was a question you got at breakfast! We DO get that a LOT...'So, what do you do for work?'
I wasn't at breakfast quite at 8 one day and someone asked hubs if I had gone to work.
Of course, the answer is, 'Nothing, I'm retired.'.
Bree said:
OK, I do have to say that I thought this was a question you got at breakfast! We DO get that a LOT...'So, what do you do for work?'
I wasn't at breakfast quite at 8 one day and someone asked hubs if I had gone to work.
Of course, the answer is, 'Nothing, I'm retired.'
I had that this week, "Dh goes to work, so this is all you do?" Yeah, all.
.
My dairy farmer neighbor's wife and I were sitting down one day having a quick cup of coffee and he walked in and told her that he was going to dock her pay for "sitting down on the job". She very quickly replied that was fine, how long would she have to sit there before he fired her....;)
 

Samster

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OK, I do have to say that I thought this was a question you got at breakfast! We DO get that a LOT...'So, what do you do for work?'
I wasn't at breakfast quite at 8 one day and someone asked hubs if I had gone to work.
Of course, the answer is, 'Nothing, I'm retired.'.
Bree said:
OK, I do have to say that I thought this was a question you got at breakfast! We DO get that a LOT...'So, what do you do for work?'
I wasn't at breakfast quite at 8 one day and someone asked hubs if I had gone to work.
Of course, the answer is, 'Nothing, I'm retired.'
I had that this week, "Dh goes to work, so this is all you do?" Yeah, all.
.
My dairy farmer neighbor's wife and I were sitting down one day having a quick cup of coffee and he walked in and told her that he was going to dock her pay for "sitting down on the job". She very quickly replied that was fine, how long would she have to sit there before he fired her....;)
.
roflmao!!

 

Samster

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OK, guilty. We ask our guests (if they have not already said) what they do in (whatever State/city) and then we ask what they do for fun. Both have started some very interesting discussions. Last weekend we had DH and one man talking motorcycles, the 2 wives were talking about - I do not remember but were so engaged that they ended by exchanging contact info, and the other man & I were talking sailing. When I asked what he does for fun - the gates opened and the discussion rolled! We have both had such varied interests that we can get into great conversations as long as they stay away from metaphysics, etc.
And a friend who was studying for her phD refers to it as a post hole digger..
See one thing I agreed with my husband about:)
We NEVER asked our guests, what they did, or anything really personal. We figured if they brought it up on their own in conversation it was fine but we never would be the ones to ask that.
As much as I was curious, he convinced me that we respect their privacy when they stayed with us. We were providing the bed and the breakfast and any assistance we could give them..but their lives were really none of our business. So our talk usually centered around "things to do" making dinner reservations and answering any questions they had. If in conversation, other personal info came up, fine..but we didn't ask.
.
For some reason, people spill their guts to us about all kinds of things. haha! We also don't dig at all but I think we're pretty good listeners.
I find that the most interesting things about people are not what they do to live (pay the bills), but what they live to do (what they have passion for). We have just met the most interesting folks! I was interviewed for a magazine article recently & we ended up talking more about this gal & her husband's "hobby" - they're restoring a historic private railroad car and will take people on trips when it's finished. There is an association of people that do this & hook their cars onto Amtrak. So interesting!
And I try to discourage my dh from talking too much about his other job...it's kinda boring to me. hahahaha! But there has been the occasional tech geek that's enjoyed hearing about it.

 

gillumhouse

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OK, guilty. We ask our guests (if they have not already said) what they do in (whatever State/city) and then we ask what they do for fun. Both have started some very interesting discussions. Last weekend we had DH and one man talking motorcycles, the 2 wives were talking about - I do not remember but were so engaged that they ended by exchanging contact info, and the other man & I were talking sailing. When I asked what he does for fun - the gates opened and the discussion rolled! We have both had such varied interests that we can get into great conversations as long as they stay away from metaphysics, etc.
And a friend who was studying for her phD refers to it as a post hole digger..
See one thing I agreed with my husband about:)
We NEVER asked our guests, what they did, or anything really personal. We figured if they brought it up on their own in conversation it was fine but we never would be the ones to ask that.
As much as I was curious, he convinced me that we respect their privacy when they stayed with us. We were providing the bed and the breakfast and any assistance we could give them..but their lives were really none of our business. So our talk usually centered around "things to do" making dinner reservations and answering any questions they had. If in conversation, other personal info came up, fine..but we didn't ask.
.
For some reason, people spill their guts to us about all kinds of things. haha! We also don't dig at all but I think we're pretty good listeners.
I find that the most interesting things about people are not what they do to live (pay the bills), but what they live to do (what they have passion for). We have just met the most interesting folks! I was interviewed for a magazine article recently & we ended up talking more about this gal & her husband's "hobby" - they're restoring a historic private railroad car and will take people on trips when it's finished. There is an association of people that do this & hook their cars onto Amtrak. So interesting!
And I try to discourage my dh from talking too much about his other job...it's kinda boring to me. hahahaha! But there has been the occasional tech geek that's enjoyed hearing about it.

.
They are on different subjects, but our DHs are similar in that. I FINALLY found the secret OFF button for my DH. I go up behind him and do a twist in the off direction in the small of his back and he goes into closing mode. Motorcycles and sports are the main subjects unles he finds an artist in the mix - oy vey!!!
Yes the hobbys and the passions are what light up the guests. Just get me started on B & B - same thing......
 

Morticia

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OK, guilty. We ask our guests (if they have not already said) what they do in (whatever State/city) and then we ask what they do for fun. Both have started some very interesting discussions. Last weekend we had DH and one man talking motorcycles, the 2 wives were talking about - I do not remember but were so engaged that they ended by exchanging contact info, and the other man & I were talking sailing. When I asked what he does for fun - the gates opened and the discussion rolled! We have both had such varied interests that we can get into great conversations as long as they stay away from metaphysics, etc.
And a friend who was studying for her phD refers to it as a post hole digger..
See one thing I agreed with my husband about:)
We NEVER asked our guests, what they did, or anything really personal. We figured if they brought it up on their own in conversation it was fine but we never would be the ones to ask that.
As much as I was curious, he convinced me that we respect their privacy when they stayed with us. We were providing the bed and the breakfast and any assistance we could give them..but their lives were really none of our business. So our talk usually centered around "things to do" making dinner reservations and answering any questions they had. If in conversation, other personal info came up, fine..but we didn't ask.
.
For some reason, people spill their guts to us about all kinds of things. haha! We also don't dig at all but I think we're pretty good listeners.
I find that the most interesting things about people are not what they do to live (pay the bills), but what they live to do (what they have passion for). We have just met the most interesting folks! I was interviewed for a magazine article recently & we ended up talking more about this gal & her husband's "hobby" - they're restoring a historic private railroad car and will take people on trips when it's finished. There is an association of people that do this & hook their cars onto Amtrak. So interesting!
And I try to discourage my dh from talking too much about his other job...it's kinda boring to me. hahahaha! But there has been the occasional tech geek that's enjoyed hearing about it.

.
Samster said:
And I try to discourage my dh from talking too much about his other job...it's kinda boring to me. hahahaha! But there has been the occasional tech geek that's enjoyed hearing about it.
Heaven help me on the tech geek talk. I watch guests' eyes glaze over and try to change the subject.
 

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