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JBloggs

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When you opened a guest room door.
The guests could still be checked in or checked out, what was the thing that time that made your JAW DROP!
(Please keep this "clean" in the, well, not trashy sense, hm, I mean no gutter talk, hm, how do I say this...no sexual comments please or inuendo. thanks.)
 

Generic

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A personal massage item on the floor.
A set of beautiful white towels with bright red lipstick from side to side and then continued on a second towel.
 

Don Draper

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My beautiful sun-yellow comforter crumpled up in a ball on the bed...that horrified me enough, but then to shake it out trying to see how badly wrinkled it was, to see the enormous blood stain in the middle of it and the bottle of personal lubrication that had been rolled in there and leaked all over it and the sheets. Then the econo-size box of flavored condoms sitting on the floor next to the bed.
Those were my very first tears as an innkeeper, about 9 months in...I was just horrified. I took the comforter and was able to get it clean. I changed out the sheets and blanket on the bed and did not put a substitute comforter back on there because I didn't want another one to get ruined. I just had no idea how to act, I wanted to scream at these people but this was early on enough that I just smiled and served them breakfast...she sent an email two days after she left apologizing. I sent her the ruined sheets and blanket and the bill for those.
 

Alibi Ike

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Worst in a funny sense...ALL of the guests' (3 of them) laundry hung up to dry on every piece of furniture and over the sprinkler system pipes and over the banister going to their room.
Along the same lines...80 yo grannie's knickers hung up over the lamp fixtures. 80 yo granie was wearing boy shorts and peek a boo bras.
Every article of pee-wet clothing from one kid guest stacked on the carpet and shoved up against the wallpaper. (THAT took 3 days to clean.)
Trash from one end of the room to the other, curtains pulled down and trampled.
The 'do not touch the bed' sign. Along with evidence the guests had wiped every hard surface of the room with tissue (bits of tissue stuck to everything) and every flat surface in the bathroom covered with tissues.
A piece of wallpaper peeled of the wall. (I'm guessing a bored child picked at it 'til he got a grip and then yanked.)
Trashed kitchen with cereal boxes everywhere, milk completely used up, cereal all over the floor, dishes everywhere. (I miss this as I am not the first person up. But, I've heard horror stories about what's been found in the living room as well.)
 

seashanty

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seen by my chambermaid ... not by me
guest who had checked out walked back into the building as another guest was walking out the door, went up to 'his' room which was unlocked and was sitting on the throne when chambermaid walked in to clean.
she screamed bloody murder, he bellowed, and all hell broke loose in the place.

yikes
 

Samster

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The room a wreck and totally blood stained sheets despite hospital chux pads. One of the guests was recovering from outpatient surgery - they lived about an hour from here and guest decided to recuperate here for a couple of days since the guest had to go back to see the surgeon. The guest did offer to pay for the sheets and I did charge them. It was not pretty......
 

Proud Texan

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Earlier this spring we had a guest had an explosive diarrhea episode on the side of one of our cottages.
 

Joey Camb

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Earlier this spring we had a guest had an explosive diarrhea episode on the side of one of our cottages.
.
remember when you had someone that was doing it outside the cottage? that was awful!
 
H

herrysam

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A personal massage item on the floor.
A set of beautiful white towels with bright red lipstick from side to side and then continued on a second towel..
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Meinalda

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One of my lovel bathrobes used as toilet paper. With a massive, massive stain. Made me want to scream at them, luckely for the guests, they had already checkout and left.
 
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Worst Thing...... maybe in the Cottage. I was delivering the breakfast tray to the Cottage ,knocked and when I entered the breakfast table has 3 guns on it (2 in holsters). They said they were Richmond cops. They moved the guns and I set the tray down, we chatted a bit and I went on to work at the college here (campus police dept.) ..Mary
 

Mtatoc

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Worst Thing...... maybe in the Cottage. I was delivering the breakfast tray to the Cottage ,knocked and when I entered the breakfast table has 3 guns on it (2 in holsters). They said they were Richmond cops. They moved the guns and I set the tray down, we chatted a bit and I went on to work at the college here (campus police dept.) ..Mary.
We've been surprised by guns in the room a few times. So far, they belonged to cops.
 

mooseberry

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Worst Thing...... maybe in the Cottage. I was delivering the breakfast tray to the Cottage ,knocked and when I entered the breakfast table has 3 guns on it (2 in holsters). They said they were Richmond cops. They moved the guns and I set the tray down, we chatted a bit and I went on to work at the college here (campus police dept.) ..Mary.
We live in Alaska....guns and rifles are expected..lol
 

ukmaineiac

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I still laugh / cringe over this one.
We are on a couple of bicycling route maps. I love my cyclists.
A few years ago I checked in a wonderful couple - gave them The Tour and then got on with what I was doing. A few minutes later she comes down and asks if I could help them with the TV (not uncommon for someone unfamiliar with satellite).
Now - a bit of background info. The first thing I DEMAND of every guest is that they "make themselves as at home as fast as they can". As far as that particular room goes, the headboard is on the same wall as the door into the room and the door into the bathroom - so when you walk in the first thing you see is the fireplace and TV - the bed is automatically to your right and behind you as you move into the room.
She walks in the room first with me right behind her. The first thing I notice is that the bed has been beautifully turned down already to freshly laundered sheets (good job thinks I). The next thing I hear is a very sharp intake of breath and I hear:
"OMG honey, I don't think she meant you to make yourself THAT at home THAT quickly".
A nano-second glance to my right establishes that hubby has disrobed (completely), been very considerate and taken the bedding down to the sheets and is, in a very exhausted / content state of mind, enjoying the a/c.
His wife is about to die from humiliation but I am already halfway through the room and turning round to leave at the point would .... ummm ... make it worse. So I looked straight ahead at the TV and took my time explaining how everything worked .... in microscopic detail, which gave him time to bolt into the bathroom (also behind me). Once I heard the bathroom door close I was able to take my leave.
 

Don Draper

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I still laugh / cringe over this one.
We are on a couple of bicycling route maps. I love my cyclists.
A few years ago I checked in a wonderful couple - gave them The Tour and then got on with what I was doing. A few minutes later she comes down and asks if I could help them with the TV (not uncommon for someone unfamiliar with satellite).
Now - a bit of background info. The first thing I DEMAND of every guest is that they "make themselves as at home as fast as they can". As far as that particular room goes, the headboard is on the same wall as the door into the room and the door into the bathroom - so when you walk in the first thing you see is the fireplace and TV - the bed is automatically to your right and behind you as you move into the room.
She walks in the room first with me right behind her. The first thing I notice is that the bed has been beautifully turned down already to freshly laundered sheets (good job thinks I). The next thing I hear is a very sharp intake of breath and I hear:
"OMG honey, I don't think she meant you to make yourself THAT at home THAT quickly".
A nano-second glance to my right establishes that hubby has disrobed (completely), been very considerate and taken the bedding down to the sheets and is, in a very exhausted / content state of mind, enjoying the a/c.
His wife is about to die from humiliation but I am already halfway through the room and turning round to leave at the point would .... ummm ... make it worse. So I looked straight ahead at the TV and took my time explaining how everything worked .... in microscopic detail, which gave him time to bolt into the bathroom (also behind me). Once I heard the bathroom door close I was able to take my leave..
I think I would pay a million dollars to have an ounce of your charm and grace
Love your stories.
 

Alibi Ike

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I still laugh / cringe over this one.
We are on a couple of bicycling route maps. I love my cyclists.
A few years ago I checked in a wonderful couple - gave them The Tour and then got on with what I was doing. A few minutes later she comes down and asks if I could help them with the TV (not uncommon for someone unfamiliar with satellite).
Now - a bit of background info. The first thing I DEMAND of every guest is that they "make themselves as at home as fast as they can". As far as that particular room goes, the headboard is on the same wall as the door into the room and the door into the bathroom - so when you walk in the first thing you see is the fireplace and TV - the bed is automatically to your right and behind you as you move into the room.
She walks in the room first with me right behind her. The first thing I notice is that the bed has been beautifully turned down already to freshly laundered sheets (good job thinks I). The next thing I hear is a very sharp intake of breath and I hear:
"OMG honey, I don't think she meant you to make yourself THAT at home THAT quickly".
A nano-second glance to my right establishes that hubby has disrobed (completely), been very considerate and taken the bedding down to the sheets and is, in a very exhausted / content state of mind, enjoying the a/c.
His wife is about to die from humiliation but I am already halfway through the room and turning round to leave at the point would .... ummm ... make it worse. So I looked straight ahead at the TV and took my time explaining how everything worked .... in microscopic detail, which gave him time to bolt into the bathroom (also behind me). Once I heard the bathroom door close I was able to take my leave..
Cute!
 

ukmaineiac

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I still laugh / cringe over this one.
We are on a couple of bicycling route maps. I love my cyclists.
A few years ago I checked in a wonderful couple - gave them The Tour and then got on with what I was doing. A few minutes later she comes down and asks if I could help them with the TV (not uncommon for someone unfamiliar with satellite).
Now - a bit of background info. The first thing I DEMAND of every guest is that they "make themselves as at home as fast as they can". As far as that particular room goes, the headboard is on the same wall as the door into the room and the door into the bathroom - so when you walk in the first thing you see is the fireplace and TV - the bed is automatically to your right and behind you as you move into the room.
She walks in the room first with me right behind her. The first thing I notice is that the bed has been beautifully turned down already to freshly laundered sheets (good job thinks I). The next thing I hear is a very sharp intake of breath and I hear:
"OMG honey, I don't think she meant you to make yourself THAT at home THAT quickly".
A nano-second glance to my right establishes that hubby has disrobed (completely), been very considerate and taken the bedding down to the sheets and is, in a very exhausted / content state of mind, enjoying the a/c.
His wife is about to die from humiliation but I am already halfway through the room and turning round to leave at the point would .... ummm ... make it worse. So I looked straight ahead at the TV and took my time explaining how everything worked .... in microscopic detail, which gave him time to bolt into the bathroom (also behind me). Once I heard the bathroom door close I was able to take my leave..
I think I would pay a million dollars to have an ounce of your charm and grace
Love your stories.
.
OK - you deliciously-deluded, fellow-forum member. There's no other solution. You simply have to come and meet us. I am a million miles from either charming or graceful (I can hear my family snickering from across The Pond) but I am able (usually) to take things in my stride and whenever possible have fun rather than get PO'd
 

Don Draper

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I still laugh / cringe over this one.
We are on a couple of bicycling route maps. I love my cyclists.
A few years ago I checked in a wonderful couple - gave them The Tour and then got on with what I was doing. A few minutes later she comes down and asks if I could help them with the TV (not uncommon for someone unfamiliar with satellite).
Now - a bit of background info. The first thing I DEMAND of every guest is that they "make themselves as at home as fast as they can". As far as that particular room goes, the headboard is on the same wall as the door into the room and the door into the bathroom - so when you walk in the first thing you see is the fireplace and TV - the bed is automatically to your right and behind you as you move into the room.
She walks in the room first with me right behind her. The first thing I notice is that the bed has been beautifully turned down already to freshly laundered sheets (good job thinks I). The next thing I hear is a very sharp intake of breath and I hear:
"OMG honey, I don't think she meant you to make yourself THAT at home THAT quickly".
A nano-second glance to my right establishes that hubby has disrobed (completely), been very considerate and taken the bedding down to the sheets and is, in a very exhausted / content state of mind, enjoying the a/c.
His wife is about to die from humiliation but I am already halfway through the room and turning round to leave at the point would .... ummm ... make it worse. So I looked straight ahead at the TV and took my time explaining how everything worked .... in microscopic detail, which gave him time to bolt into the bathroom (also behind me). Once I heard the bathroom door close I was able to take my leave..
I think I would pay a million dollars to have an ounce of your charm and grace
Love your stories.
.
OK - you deliciously-deluded, fellow-forum member. There's no other solution. You simply have to come and meet us. I am a million miles from either charming or graceful (I can hear my family snickering from across The Pond) but I am able (usually) to take things in my stride and whenever possible have fun rather than get PO'd
.
We definitely want to! Would just need to be winter which is our only down time. But we love snow!
 

Penelope

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I still laugh / cringe over this one.
We are on a couple of bicycling route maps. I love my cyclists.
A few years ago I checked in a wonderful couple - gave them The Tour and then got on with what I was doing. A few minutes later she comes down and asks if I could help them with the TV (not uncommon for someone unfamiliar with satellite).
Now - a bit of background info. The first thing I DEMAND of every guest is that they "make themselves as at home as fast as they can". As far as that particular room goes, the headboard is on the same wall as the door into the room and the door into the bathroom - so when you walk in the first thing you see is the fireplace and TV - the bed is automatically to your right and behind you as you move into the room.
She walks in the room first with me right behind her. The first thing I notice is that the bed has been beautifully turned down already to freshly laundered sheets (good job thinks I). The next thing I hear is a very sharp intake of breath and I hear:
"OMG honey, I don't think she meant you to make yourself THAT at home THAT quickly".
A nano-second glance to my right establishes that hubby has disrobed (completely), been very considerate and taken the bedding down to the sheets and is, in a very exhausted / content state of mind, enjoying the a/c.
His wife is about to die from humiliation but I am already halfway through the room and turning round to leave at the point would .... ummm ... make it worse. So I looked straight ahead at the TV and took my time explaining how everything worked .... in microscopic detail, which gave him time to bolt into the bathroom (also behind me). Once I heard the bathroom door close I was able to take my leave..
I think I would pay a million dollars to have an ounce of your charm and grace
Love your stories.
.
OK - you deliciously-deluded, fellow-forum member. There's no other solution. You simply have to come and meet us. I am a million miles from either charming or graceful (I can hear my family snickering from across The Pond) but I am able (usually) to take things in my stride and whenever possible have fun rather than get PO'd
.
UKMaineiac said:
I am a million miles from either charming or graceful
I've spoken with her on the phone- she really is charming and wonderful!!
She jests!
 

gillumhouse

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I still laugh / cringe over this one.
We are on a couple of bicycling route maps. I love my cyclists.
A few years ago I checked in a wonderful couple - gave them The Tour and then got on with what I was doing. A few minutes later she comes down and asks if I could help them with the TV (not uncommon for someone unfamiliar with satellite).
Now - a bit of background info. The first thing I DEMAND of every guest is that they "make themselves as at home as fast as they can". As far as that particular room goes, the headboard is on the same wall as the door into the room and the door into the bathroom - so when you walk in the first thing you see is the fireplace and TV - the bed is automatically to your right and behind you as you move into the room.
She walks in the room first with me right behind her. The first thing I notice is that the bed has been beautifully turned down already to freshly laundered sheets (good job thinks I). The next thing I hear is a very sharp intake of breath and I hear:
"OMG honey, I don't think she meant you to make yourself THAT at home THAT quickly".
A nano-second glance to my right establishes that hubby has disrobed (completely), been very considerate and taken the bedding down to the sheets and is, in a very exhausted / content state of mind, enjoying the a/c.
His wife is about to die from humiliation but I am already halfway through the room and turning round to leave at the point would .... ummm ... make it worse. So I looked straight ahead at the TV and took my time explaining how everything worked .... in microscopic detail, which gave him time to bolt into the bathroom (also behind me). Once I heard the bathroom door close I was able to take my leave..
This is axactly why you SHOULD do Aspiring Innkeepers!
 

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