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where is the line between crazy person and helping?

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Joey Camb

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We have a new B&B neighbour (for the uninitiated I am in a terrace with 5 other B&B's) she has bought one that was really run down as mickys heart wasnt in it since he decided to sell and that was 3 years ago. She has gutted it and redone it all (we are chomping at the bit for a look) but has never done B&B before or lived in my town but has B&B family. However I know for a fact that micky blew out of there like a bolt and didn't give her any local knowledge so would likd to help with all the weird things like parking permits and so on but don't want to come across as the crazy bossy neighbour either. But I feel for her trying and struggling to do things that I know I have the answer to and I had to fight for that answer at the time. (if that makes any sense) Trouble is also I am quite a bit younger than her so think she might feel a bit weird asking me for help. What do people think?
 

Alibi Ike

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Give her a call and introduce yourself. Ask if she has a moment when you could stop by. Bring food!!! Welcome her to the neighborhood, say you're happy to see the place is being brought back to life, how wonderful it all looks and if she has any questions you're available. Like she's just a new neighbor on the block.
 

Don Draper

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I think your intentions are very genuine in wanting to welcome her and help her if she needs it. I'm with Ike, go for the warm welcome and offer your help if it is needed, feel her out a bit and she if she seems receptive.
I wish you were my neighbor
 

gillumhouse

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I was about to suggest what Ike said. Stop by with a pot of tea and biscuits and if there are forms she needs or a pamphlet about the regs bring them with (in a bag so if it does not appear to be a receptive situation you can forget it). Tell her you wanted to welcome her and tell her how you all work together so you wanted to ask if she needed any help with all the forms & such since she is new TO THE AREA. Just the kind of stuff we all tell the new neighbors. Ask if she would like you to send folks her way when you are full or you are not a good fit but she would be.
 

Joey Camb

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Sorry should have said I have met her in person already as she (bless her) is doing a lot of work herself and has been there painting till 10pm some days and I saw her outside doing some so said hi and she seems very nice but has brought all her own people from the next city York well that is no good as we all know if you have water gushing out the wall! or something that is an emergency that you need someone right away. The way I see it is there was a B&B there before so it is not any more or any less competion than it was before is it? But I think a appropriate food type offering and a welcome to the neighbourhood/ opening present (she is opening on the 18th) would be nice. She has told me that she is on site tomorro so am going to pop round for a nosey! they were having the carpets laid today. Mainly we are sad gossips on the block with not enough to do so I get the inside scoop! lol plus any excuse for cake. Was round at Tab's which is the B&B on the end as one of her guests bought her lemon sponge cake and it doesn't have calories if you share it.
 

gillumhouse

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Sorry should have said I have met her in person already as she (bless her) is doing a lot of work herself and has been there painting till 10pm some days and I saw her outside doing some so said hi and she seems very nice but has brought all her own people from the next city York well that is no good as we all know if you have water gushing out the wall! or something that is an emergency that you need someone right away. The way I see it is there was a B&B there before so it is not any more or any less competion than it was before is it? But I think a appropriate food type offering and a welcome to the neighbourhood/ opening present (she is opening on the 18th) would be nice. She has told me that she is on site tomorro so am going to pop round for a nosey! they were having the carpets laid today. Mainly we are sad gossips on the block with not enough to do so I get the inside scoop! lol plus any excuse for cake. Was round at Tab's which is the B&B on the end as one of her guests bought her lemon sponge cake and it doesn't have calories if you share it..
If she is opening Monday, wouldn't she have already have muddled through all he forms and requires? I hope! It sounds as if you have a plan already. Just do the friendly that you have in over-abundance and ask if she needs help with anything? That should cover everything.
 

Alibi Ike

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Sorry should have said I have met her in person already as she (bless her) is doing a lot of work herself and has been there painting till 10pm some days and I saw her outside doing some so said hi and she seems very nice but has brought all her own people from the next city York well that is no good as we all know if you have water gushing out the wall! or something that is an emergency that you need someone right away. The way I see it is there was a B&B there before so it is not any more or any less competion than it was before is it? But I think a appropriate food type offering and a welcome to the neighbourhood/ opening present (she is opening on the 18th) would be nice. She has told me that she is on site tomorro so am going to pop round for a nosey! they were having the carpets laid today. Mainly we are sad gossips on the block with not enough to do so I get the inside scoop! lol plus any excuse for cake. Was round at Tab's which is the B&B on the end as one of her guests bought her lemon sponge cake and it doesn't have calories if you share it..
If someone new bought here and redid, I'd be wanting to have a look see myself! You have to know what they have in case someone is looking for it!
Love the idea that cake shared has no calories!
 

Joey Camb

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aparently not I mentioned the parking thing as I was in my mind as I had to order more permits myself and she only has one parking space on site so will need them desparately! (has 7 rooms) and she hadn't even heard of them! It is hard to explain how important it is because round here there is no unrestricted street parking unless you have a special permit you can only park for an hour and then you have to move your car and you cannot ask guests to do this so you get special permits from the council and they mean you can park for 24hours (you can have as many as you want) so that guests arn't messing about.
Thing is I can see it from an outsiders perspective - ie why are they being nice to me what do they want?
 

gillumhouse

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aparently not I mentioned the parking thing as I was in my mind as I had to order more permits myself and she only has one parking space on site so will need them desparately! (has 7 rooms) and she hadn't even heard of them! It is hard to explain how important it is because round here there is no unrestricted street parking unless you have a special permit you can only park for an hour and then you have to move your car and you cannot ask guests to do this so you get special permits from the council and they mean you can park for 24hours (you can have as many as you want) so that guests arn't messing about.
Thing is I can see it from an outsiders perspective - ie why are they being nice to me what do they want?.
camberleyhotelharrogate@yahoo.co.uk said:
aparently not I mentioned the parking thing as I was in my mind as I had to order more permits myself and she only has one parking space on site so will need them desparately! (has 7 rooms) and she hadn't even heard of them! It is hard to explain how important it is because round here there is no unrestricted street parking unless you have a special permit you can only park for an hour and then you have to move your car and you cannot ask guests to do this so you get special permits from the council and they mean you can park for 24hours (you can have as many as you want) so that guests arn't messing about.
Thing is I can see it from an outsiders perspective - ie why are they being nice to me what do they want?
In that case, I think you need to just tell her you wanted to give her a heads-up since you are neighbors about how you B & Bs work your system of networking re rooms etc and that you are getting your parking permits from the Council would she care to come with to get hers. You could explain that there are so many B & Bs and that it works well for all with the working together. I would not tell her to send me guests - that might look ulterior motive - but to tell her about the central system should be looked at as being friendly. It she takes it the wrong way, there is nothing you can do about it, but you will know you tried. I have a feeling that she will appreciate the hand of friendship. (WV is a place that if you grew up 3 miles out of town, you ain't from here. I have always been an alien, my Grandparents moved across the river to WV in 1922 but Daddy married a woman from Chicago so in the 1950s going to grade school, I was an alien.)
 

Joey Camb

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She seems normal so don't think its going to be a problem but I remember when I first took over here people were lining up to be patronising to me not knowing that I have tons of experience and could run rings round the lot of them and it got my fur all stood up as I was trying to play nice with others and hold my tounge and be nice. Its like for example if you were not local you wouldnt know that the environmental health office for here is accross the street (the people that check your kitchen) so if they are a bit short on inspections they pop accross the road and hit the B&B's as it is quick and easy for them so it is to be prepared at any time for an inspection especially as she is a new business she will be first choice. Since we spoke she has invited me round today as she is "on site" all day today so just trying to get my people all booked in so I can go have a nosey!
 

gillumhouse

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She seems normal so don't think its going to be a problem but I remember when I first took over here people were lining up to be patronising to me not knowing that I have tons of experience and could run rings round the lot of them and it got my fur all stood up as I was trying to play nice with others and hold my tounge and be nice. Its like for example if you were not local you wouldnt know that the environmental health office for here is accross the street (the people that check your kitchen) so if they are a bit short on inspections they pop accross the road and hit the B&B's as it is quick and easy for them so it is to be prepared at any time for an inspection especially as she is a new business she will be first choice. Since we spoke she has invited me round today as she is "on site" all day today so just trying to get my people all booked in so I can go have a nosey!.
There is a big difference between patronizing and helpful. YOU know the difference and will convey it well.
 

Joey Camb

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She seems normal so don't think its going to be a problem but I remember when I first took over here people were lining up to be patronising to me not knowing that I have tons of experience and could run rings round the lot of them and it got my fur all stood up as I was trying to play nice with others and hold my tounge and be nice. Its like for example if you were not local you wouldnt know that the environmental health office for here is accross the street (the people that check your kitchen) so if they are a bit short on inspections they pop accross the road and hit the B&B's as it is quick and easy for them so it is to be prepared at any time for an inspection especially as she is a new business she will be first choice. Since we spoke she has invited me round today as she is "on site" all day today so just trying to get my people all booked in so I can go have a nosey!.
There is a big difference between patronizing and helpful. YOU know the difference and will convey it well.
.
well she said she would be on site all day friday so popped round with permits as a welcome gift she wasn't there gave them to the head builder and we had a brief chat as I want some leading done the same as he has done for her and it is now sunday and not even a thank you text. Ive done my best but am leaving her to it from now on unless asked. Mind think she must be up to her neck in it cos she is supposed to open on monday and from what I saw on sunday she aint even close! best of luck.
 

Alibi Ike

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She seems normal so don't think its going to be a problem but I remember when I first took over here people were lining up to be patronising to me not knowing that I have tons of experience and could run rings round the lot of them and it got my fur all stood up as I was trying to play nice with others and hold my tounge and be nice. Its like for example if you were not local you wouldnt know that the environmental health office for here is accross the street (the people that check your kitchen) so if they are a bit short on inspections they pop accross the road and hit the B&B's as it is quick and easy for them so it is to be prepared at any time for an inspection especially as she is a new business she will be first choice. Since we spoke she has invited me round today as she is "on site" all day today so just trying to get my people all booked in so I can go have a nosey!.
There is a big difference between patronizing and helpful. YOU know the difference and will convey it well.
.
well she said she would be on site all day friday so popped round with permits as a welcome gift she wasn't there gave them to the head builder and we had a brief chat as I want some leading done the same as he has done for her and it is now sunday and not even a thank you text. Ive done my best but am leaving her to it from now on unless asked. Mind think she must be up to her neck in it cos she is supposed to open on monday and from what I saw on sunday she aint even close! best of luck.
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She may be so up to her neck she hasn't had time. I'd give her another chance. Maybe no one told her you showed and she's thinking you stood her up!
 
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