Why did you open a B&B or become an Innkeeper?

[SeeBen21]

A longtime dream.
Working from home and still meeting very nice and interesting people from allover the globe.
I also used to wotk in the tourism industry and loved it..

As what where you working in the tourist industrie? As a Reiseverkehrskauffrau

 

[MommyTaylor]

Well, this is where we're at right now... I had the opportunity to be a stay home mom for 10 years and the economy changed that 2 years ago. I miss seeing my kids everyday, I miss my house, I miss cooking for everyone - teaching the kids cooking and I miss what used to be my garden.
Our hope, and desire is that we will find an AMAZING property in the country where our kids can enjoy new things, my husband can teach them and anyone else who wants to go about HIS land and I can be in my home taking care of it and the people in it the way I want to. We'd like to have a location that has acreage and outbuildings, barns and the like because we would love to be able to host weddings or other major events in peoples lives as well as having an amazing location that just allows the weary traveler to have a place to rest their bones when in town.
Anyway that's our goal - we're not in a huge hurry, so we don't mind if we have to build it up over time. It's DEFINITELY not for the money - just something simpler than the California Madness we've been living!

 

[JunieBJones (JBJ)]

a heart to heart from this innkeeper:
Please be aware that a B&B is not the same as a homestay. It is a 24/7 labor intensive job and your kids will have to tow the line and make definite sacrifices. It is very challenging running a B&B and raising kids.
You can't leave their 'stuff' out, the lawns must always be mowed, the place dusted and spic and span, even if a child has the flu the guests still need to be attended to. You can't just tell them "my child has the flu we have been up all night" or there is vomitting.
You can't make events like ball games, have slumber parties. If you do, it is a solo event if you can swing it with much planning, and someone has to be there for guests and checkins. Many time contraints. The other partner of the family who works outside the B&B comes home and works every night and all weekend. (This is what we have done for 6 years). Dh has worked on this porch decking every evening after work this week - last night til 1am to get it painted and dry enough so guests can walk on it tonight.
There are a few of us who do have children and run a B&B and trust me there is no time to hold weddings and care for your kids. A wedding at your B&B requires tons of your time for planning - even if there is a wedding planner! Many many phone calls. It is not easy, it is not that fun, it is in fact very difficult. When most innkeepers paint the cherry rose colored glasses perspective of innkeeping, you can always dig a little deeper and find it is not all it is cracked up to be.
IF you have ZERO mortgage and your spouse works outside the B&B for income and health insurance coverage, then you can go at it how you like. Otherwise there is a HUGE outlay, a lot of overhead and you have to stay on top of it. Inspections, licensing, insurance, marketing, etc etc.
I just want to tell it like it is from my heart. People get ticked when I say other than "you are your own boss, you make all the decisions and do whatever you want to" this is not altogether true, you are chained to your business as you live in it and it can consume you. It must consume you for it to be a success, you have to give it 110%. It is not part time, it is not a cottage industry. It entails the entire family being on board and being innkeepers, day and night.
Others might share some of the same thoughts off the forum. When we do share openly the arrows are shot our direction. I am sure even those without raising kids and running a B&B can tell you it is not for the faint hearted. There is no quick way out when you are done, B&B's often times take years to sell.

 

[wendydk]

I agree with all of that...and I'm one of those "rose colored" innkeepers. Even without kids, it's hard work and a very restrictive lifestyle. You and your place are always "on", and (especially in the beginning) you are tied to it day and night; you're "relax time" is still spent with one eye and one ear open and sleep with one foot on the floor. Often you see the best in people, but sometimes you see the very worst.
The time spent away from family, family functions and holidays are the reason our Inn is for sale. We did what we set out to...started our little B&B from scratch and made it a huge success. I have absolutely zero regrets...and who knows...down the road, I may do it again!

 

[hawley]

Initially dh lost his job 15 years ago when they closed his department. I had a job and so we decided to stay here. He thought it was something he could do. He knew something about it as we had been staying in B&B's for about 40 years. And I would help him.
We purchased the house, got approval by city council and then dh found a part time job that eventually went full time. I continued to rent the apartments and work on the house. New roof, built new porch, eventually put in 4 new furnaces and 4 ac and water heater. Then he decided he didn't want to do it. I told him I didn't want rental any more. We needed to do the B&B or sell the house. He decided to keep the house and open the B&B if I would do it. I still work a full time job so he helps with the B&B.
We only have 3 rooms. Will open 4th one day. But originally was approved for 10 rooms for full time work. But there were 4 large apartments with 4 bathrooms, so it was easy to scale back, just sometimes more area to clean than 1 room. But not bad. In a couple years, I will no longer be working the full time job.

 

[Breakfast Diva]

a heart to heart from this innkeeper:
Please be aware that a B&B is not the same as a homestay. It is a 24/7 labor intensive job and your kids will have to tow the line and make definite sacrifices. It is very challenging running a B&B and raising kids.
You can't leave their 'stuff' out, the lawns must always be mowed, the place dusted and spic and span, even if a child has the flu the guests still need to be attended to. You can't just tell them "my child has the flu we have been up all night" or there is vomitting.
You can't make events like ball games, have slumber parties. If you do, it is a solo event if you can swing it with much planning, and someone has to be there for guests and checkins. Many time contraints. The other partner of the family who works outside the B&B comes home and works every night and all weekend. (This is what we have done for 6 years). Dh has worked on this porch decking every evening after work this week - last night til 1am to get it painted and dry enough so guests can walk on it tonight.
There are a few of us who do have children and run a B&B and trust me there is no time to hold weddings and care for your kids. A wedding at your B&B requires tons of your time for planning - even if there is a wedding planner! Many many phone calls. It is not easy, it is not that fun, it is in fact very difficult. When most innkeepers paint the cherry rose colored glasses perspective of innkeeping, you can always dig a little deeper and find it is not all it is cracked up to be.
IF you have ZERO mortgage and your spouse works outside the B&B for income and health insurance coverage, then you can go at it how you like. Otherwise there is a HUGE outlay, a lot of overhead and you have to stay on top of it. Inspections, licensing, insurance, marketing, etc etc.
I just want to tell it like it is from my heart. People get ticked when I say other than "you are your own boss, you make all the decisions and do whatever you want to" this is not altogether true, you are chained to your business as you live in it and it can consume you. It must consume you for it to be a success, you have to give it 110%. It is not part time, it is not a cottage industry. It entails the entire family being on board and being innkeepers, day and night.
Others might share some of the same thoughts off the forum. When we do share openly the arrows are shot our direction. I am sure even those without raising kids and running a B&B can tell you it is not for the faint hearted. There is no quick way out when you are done, B&B's often times take years to sell..

Thank you JBJ for telling it like it is. This is the information that aspiring innkeepers need to hear. Yes, there are wonderful aspects of this life which is what keeps all of us interested, but there is a harsh reality too.
I know some of you have raised kids while being innkeepers and I bow down to you. With our particular property I don't see how we could have managed a family on top of everything else. The more successful you make your business, the less time you have for family and personal time. My husband and I work side by side, day in and day out. Before we became innkeepers, we hardly ever saw each other. It can be a stress on your relationship living/working together. I've seen it make or break relationships. By the end of our busy season we are pretty snippy with each other. We've gone 6 months without a single day off. We're amazingly tired. We then take a vacation and it reminds us what life in the "real world" is like and reunites us again. Don't get me wrong, this is not a complaint! We've worked really hard to put ourselves in this situation and especially in this economy we're incredibly thankful that we're so busy. This is just a reality check that a bed and breakfast is not like Leave It To Beaver.
Thanks JBJ for your post...sometimes I feel like I'm all alone when I try to be real about this lifestyle.

 

[Morticia]

a heart to heart from this innkeeper:
Please be aware that a B&B is not the same as a homestay. It is a 24/7 labor intensive job and your kids will have to tow the line and make definite sacrifices. It is very challenging running a B&B and raising kids.
You can't leave their 'stuff' out, the lawns must always be mowed, the place dusted and spic and span, even if a child has the flu the guests still need to be attended to. You can't just tell them "my child has the flu we have been up all night" or there is vomitting.
You can't make events like ball games, have slumber parties. If you do, it is a solo event if you can swing it with much planning, and someone has to be there for guests and checkins. Many time contraints. The other partner of the family who works outside the B&B comes home and works every night and all weekend. (This is what we have done for 6 years). Dh has worked on this porch decking every evening after work this week - last night til 1am to get it painted and dry enough so guests can walk on it tonight.
There are a few of us who do have children and run a B&B and trust me there is no time to hold weddings and care for your kids. A wedding at your B&B requires tons of your time for planning - even if there is a wedding planner! Many many phone calls. It is not easy, it is not that fun, it is in fact very difficult. When most innkeepers paint the cherry rose colored glasses perspective of innkeeping, you can always dig a little deeper and find it is not all it is cracked up to be.
IF you have ZERO mortgage and your spouse works outside the B&B for income and health insurance coverage, then you can go at it how you like. Otherwise there is a HUGE outlay, a lot of overhead and you have to stay on top of it. Inspections, licensing, insurance, marketing, etc etc.
I just want to tell it like it is from my heart. People get ticked when I say other than "you are your own boss, you make all the decisions and do whatever you want to" this is not altogether true, you are chained to your business as you live in it and it can consume you. It must consume you for it to be a success, you have to give it 110%. It is not part time, it is not a cottage industry. It entails the entire family being on board and being innkeepers, day and night.
Others might share some of the same thoughts off the forum. When we do share openly the arrows are shot our direction. I am sure even those without raising kids and running a B&B can tell you it is not for the faint hearted. There is no quick way out when you are done, B&B's often times take years to sell..

Thank you JBJ for telling it like it is. This is the information that aspiring innkeepers need to hear. Yes, there are wonderful aspects of this life which is what keeps all of us interested, but there is a harsh reality too.
I know some of you have raised kids while being innkeepers and I bow down to you. With our particular property I don't see how we could have managed a family on top of everything else. The more successful you make your business, the less time you have for family and personal time. My husband and I work side by side, day in and day out. Before we became innkeepers, we hardly ever saw each other. It can be a stress on your relationship living/working together. I've seen it make or break relationships. By the end of our busy season we are pretty snippy with each other. We've gone 6 months without a single day off. We're amazingly tired. We then take a vacation and it reminds us what life in the "real world" is like and reunites us again. Don't get me wrong, this is not a complaint! We've worked really hard to put ourselves in this situation and especially in this economy we're incredibly thankful that we're so busy. This is just a reality check that a bed and breakfast is not like Leave It To Beaver.
Thanks JBJ for your post...sometimes I feel like I'm all alone when I try to be real about this lifestyle.
.

This is just a reality check that a bed and breakfast is not like Leave It To Beaver.
Thanks JBJ for your post...sometimes I feel like I'm all alone when I try to be real about this lifestyle.

The better TV analogy is that it is not like Newhart, it's like Fawlty Towers.
You're not alone. We all sacrifice. Unless you have a really big place where you have staff who attend to everything, you're going non stop. We were going to take a day off next week but someone booked in for 4 nights. No day off. Luckily, we have a housekeeper this year. (I know I keep bringing this up but there are a lot of new members here who have no idea how awful it was last year- our busiest summer ever- when we did everything but mow the lawn ourselves.)

 

[gillumhouse]

a heart to heart from this innkeeper:
Please be aware that a B&B is not the same as a homestay. It is a 24/7 labor intensive job and your kids will have to tow the line and make definite sacrifices. It is very challenging running a B&B and raising kids.
You can't leave their 'stuff' out, the lawns must always be mowed, the place dusted and spic and span, even if a child has the flu the guests still need to be attended to. You can't just tell them "my child has the flu we have been up all night" or there is vomitting.
You can't make events like ball games, have slumber parties. If you do, it is a solo event if you can swing it with much planning, and someone has to be there for guests and checkins. Many time contraints. The other partner of the family who works outside the B&B comes home and works every night and all weekend. (This is what we have done for 6 years). Dh has worked on this porch decking every evening after work this week - last night til 1am to get it painted and dry enough so guests can walk on it tonight.
There are a few of us who do have children and run a B&B and trust me there is no time to hold weddings and care for your kids. A wedding at your B&B requires tons of your time for planning - even if there is a wedding planner! Many many phone calls. It is not easy, it is not that fun, it is in fact very difficult. When most innkeepers paint the cherry rose colored glasses perspective of innkeeping, you can always dig a little deeper and find it is not all it is cracked up to be.
IF you have ZERO mortgage and your spouse works outside the B&B for income and health insurance coverage, then you can go at it how you like. Otherwise there is a HUGE outlay, a lot of overhead and you have to stay on top of it. Inspections, licensing, insurance, marketing, etc etc.
I just want to tell it like it is from my heart. People get ticked when I say other than "you are your own boss, you make all the decisions and do whatever you want to" this is not altogether true, you are chained to your business as you live in it and it can consume you. It must consume you for it to be a success, you have to give it 110%. It is not part time, it is not a cottage industry. It entails the entire family being on board and being innkeepers, day and night.
Others might share some of the same thoughts off the forum. When we do share openly the arrows are shot our direction. I am sure even those without raising kids and running a B&B can tell you it is not for the faint hearted. There is no quick way out when you are done, B&B's often times take years to sell..

JBJ, I am NOT slamming when I say that when I was raising my 2-legged animals I had the same situations as you describe and I was not an innkeeper then, I was was trying to keep a roof over us.
I really did work full-time nights and part-time days until they were old enough to be trusted on the loose during the Summer when school was out. Then I worked full-time days and part-time nights on my days off. DH got to go to the softball games and girls basketball games because they were during the day. I went to evening games when I could, but never saw my son march in a half-time show because I finished up the day week at 2 PM Friday and had to be at work at 11 PM for the night shift weekend job. When i worked nights while they were in grade school I did chaperone field trips and do the room mother route - because I was willing to give up something less important - sleeping.
Having any job other than full-time mother makes one feel the kids are being cheated - especially if we grew up with "stay-at-home-mothers and knew what we really wanted to be. I want to point out the plus for you - as one who many times expressed feelings of being the oxen in the old western movie in the desert scene where the buzzards are picking the bones - your plus is (and grab this because there may not be another) you get to be home when your children come home from school. You are available to your kids, not in an office or factory 25 miles away with mandatory overtime, mandatory staff meetings, or weekend installations...
And I felt just as isolated and alone as you feel now. I wish I knew the words you need to hear. It truly does get better. I am pleased to say my kids actually love me today (no, they did not then as I was the interloper and their grandparents did everything possible to stir things up).

 

[The Farmers Daughter]

a heart to heart from this innkeeper:
Please be aware that a B&B is not the same as a homestay. It is a 24/7 labor intensive job and your kids will have to tow the line and make definite sacrifices. It is very challenging running a B&B and raising kids.
You can't leave their 'stuff' out, the lawns must always be mowed, the place dusted and spic and span, even if a child has the flu the guests still need to be attended to. You can't just tell them "my child has the flu we have been up all night" or there is vomitting.
You can't make events like ball games, have slumber parties. If you do, it is a solo event if you can swing it with much planning, and someone has to be there for guests and checkins. Many time contraints. The other partner of the family who works outside the B&B comes home and works every night and all weekend. (This is what we have done for 6 years). Dh has worked on this porch decking every evening after work this week - last night til 1am to get it painted and dry enough so guests can walk on it tonight.
There are a few of us who do have children and run a B&B and trust me there is no time to hold weddings and care for your kids. A wedding at your B&B requires tons of your time for planning - even if there is a wedding planner! Many many phone calls. It is not easy, it is not that fun, it is in fact very difficult. When most innkeepers paint the cherry rose colored glasses perspective of innkeeping, you can always dig a little deeper and find it is not all it is cracked up to be.
IF you have ZERO mortgage and your spouse works outside the B&B for income and health insurance coverage, then you can go at it how you like. Otherwise there is a HUGE outlay, a lot of overhead and you have to stay on top of it. Inspections, licensing, insurance, marketing, etc etc.
I just want to tell it like it is from my heart. People get ticked when I say other than "you are your own boss, you make all the decisions and do whatever you want to" this is not altogether true, you are chained to your business as you live in it and it can consume you. It must consume you for it to be a success, you have to give it 110%. It is not part time, it is not a cottage industry. It entails the entire family being on board and being innkeepers, day and night.
Others might share some of the same thoughts off the forum. When we do share openly the arrows are shot our direction. I am sure even those without raising kids and running a B&B can tell you it is not for the faint hearted. There is no quick way out when you are done, B&B's often times take years to sell..

Thank you JBJ for telling it like it is. This is the information that aspiring innkeepers need to hear. Yes, there are wonderful aspects of this life which is what keeps all of us interested, but there is a harsh reality too.
I know some of you have raised kids while being innkeepers and I bow down to you. With our particular property I don't see how we could have managed a family on top of everything else. The more successful you make your business, the less time you have for family and personal time. My husband and I work side by side, day in and day out. Before we became innkeepers, we hardly ever saw each other. It can be a stress on your relationship living/working together. I've seen it make or break relationships. By the end of our busy season we are pretty snippy with each other. We've gone 6 months without a single day off. We're amazingly tired. We then take a vacation and it reminds us what life in the "real world" is like and reunites us again. Don't get me wrong, this is not a complaint! We've worked really hard to put ourselves in this situation and especially in this economy we're incredibly thankful that we're so busy. This is just a reality check that a bed and breakfast is not like Leave It To Beaver.
Thanks JBJ for your post...sometimes I feel like I'm all alone when I try to be real about this lifestyle.
.

This is just a reality check that a bed and breakfast is not like Leave It To Beaver.
Thanks JBJ for your post...sometimes I feel like I'm all alone when I try to be real about this lifestyle.

The better TV analogy is that it is not like Newhart, it's like Fawlty Towers.
You're not alone. We all sacrifice. Unless you have a really big place where you have staff who attend to everything, you're going non stop. We were going to take a day off next week but someone booked in for 4 nights. No day off. Luckily, we have a housekeeper this year. (I know I keep bringing this up but there are a lot of new members here who have no idea how awful it was last year- our busiest summer ever- when we did everything but mow the lawn ourselves.)
.

This is just a reality check that a bed and breakfast is not like Leave It To Beaver.
Thanks JBJ for your post...sometimes I feel like I'm all alone when I try to be real about this lifestyle.

The better TV analogy is that it is not like Newhart, it's like Fawlty Towers.
You're not alone. We all sacrifice. Unless you have a really big place where you have staff who attend to everything, you're going non stop. We were going to take a day off next week but someone booked in for 4 nights. No day off. Luckily, we have a housekeeper this year. (I know I keep bringing this up but there are a lot of new members here who have no idea how awful it was last year- our busiest summer ever- when we did everything but mow the lawn ourselves.)

Sacrifice is a given. You will miss Weddings, Funerals and nearly every party invitation that comes your way. These things nearly always happen on a weekend or holiday...times when you will be otherwised engaged with B & B stuff. This also goes for having pets. You can't really correct a puppy that is eating your sofa when you are busy pouring coffee for 10.

 

[JunieBJones (JBJ)]

a heart to heart from this innkeeper:
Please be aware that a B&B is not the same as a homestay. It is a 24/7 labor intensive job and your kids will have to tow the line and make definite sacrifices. It is very challenging running a B&B and raising kids.
You can't leave their 'stuff' out, the lawns must always be mowed, the place dusted and spic and span, even if a child has the flu the guests still need to be attended to. You can't just tell them "my child has the flu we have been up all night" or there is vomitting.
You can't make events like ball games, have slumber parties. If you do, it is a solo event if you can swing it with much planning, and someone has to be there for guests and checkins. Many time contraints. The other partner of the family who works outside the B&B comes home and works every night and all weekend. (This is what we have done for 6 years). Dh has worked on this porch decking every evening after work this week - last night til 1am to get it painted and dry enough so guests can walk on it tonight.
There are a few of us who do have children and run a B&B and trust me there is no time to hold weddings and care for your kids. A wedding at your B&B requires tons of your time for planning - even if there is a wedding planner! Many many phone calls. It is not easy, it is not that fun, it is in fact very difficult. When most innkeepers paint the cherry rose colored glasses perspective of innkeeping, you can always dig a little deeper and find it is not all it is cracked up to be.
IF you have ZERO mortgage and your spouse works outside the B&B for income and health insurance coverage, then you can go at it how you like. Otherwise there is a HUGE outlay, a lot of overhead and you have to stay on top of it. Inspections, licensing, insurance, marketing, etc etc.
I just want to tell it like it is from my heart. People get ticked when I say other than "you are your own boss, you make all the decisions and do whatever you want to" this is not altogether true, you are chained to your business as you live in it and it can consume you. It must consume you for it to be a success, you have to give it 110%. It is not part time, it is not a cottage industry. It entails the entire family being on board and being innkeepers, day and night.
Others might share some of the same thoughts off the forum. When we do share openly the arrows are shot our direction. I am sure even those without raising kids and running a B&B can tell you it is not for the faint hearted. There is no quick way out when you are done, B&B's often times take years to sell..

JBJ, I am NOT slamming when I say that when I was raising my 2-legged animals I had the same situations as you describe and I was not an innkeeper then, I was was trying to keep a roof over us.
I really did work full-time nights and part-time days until they were old enough to be trusted on the loose during the Summer when school was out. Then I worked full-time days and part-time nights on my days off. DH got to go to the softball games and girls basketball games because they were during the day. I went to evening games when I could, but never saw my son march in a half-time show because I finished up the day week at 2 PM Friday and had to be at work at 11 PM for the night shift weekend job. When i worked nights while they were in grade school I did chaperone field trips and do the room mother route - because I was willing to give up something less important - sleeping.
Having any job other than full-time mother makes one feel the kids are being cheated - especially if we grew up with "stay-at-home-mothers and knew what we really wanted to be. I want to point out the plus for you - as one who many times expressed feelings of being the oxen in the old western movie in the desert scene where the buzzards are picking the bones - your plus is (and grab this because there may not be another) you get to be home when your children come home from school. You are available to your kids, not in an office or factory 25 miles away with mandatory overtime, mandatory staff meetings, or weekend installations...
And I felt just as isolated and alone as you feel now. I wish I knew the words you need to hear. It truly does get better. I am pleased to say my kids actually love me today (no, they did not then as I was the interloper and their grandparents did everything possible to stir things up).
.

JBJ, I am NOT slamming when I say that when I was raising my 2-legged animals I had the same situations as you describe and I was not an innkeeper then, I was was trying to keep a roof over us.
I really did work full-time nights and part-time days until they were old enough to be trusted on the loose during the Summer when school was out. Then I worked full-time days and part-time nights on my days off. DH got to go to the softball games and girls basketball games because they were during the day. I went to evening games when I could, but never saw my son march in a half-time show because I finished up the day week at 2 PM Friday and had to be at work at 11 PM for the night shift weekend job. When i worked nights while they were in grade school I did chaperone field trips and do the room mother route - because I was willing to give up something less important - sleeping.
Having any job other than full-time mother makes one feel the kids are being cheated - especially if we grew up with "stay-at-home-mothers and knew what we really wanted to be. I want to point out the plus for you - as one who many times expressed feelings of being the oxen in the old western movie in the desert scene where the buzzards are picking the bones - your plus is (and grab this because there may not be another) you get to be home when your children come home from school. You are available to your kids, not in an office or factory 25 miles away with mandatory overtime, mandatory staff meetings, or weekend installations...
And I felt just as isolated and alone as you feel now. I wish I knew the words you need to hear. It truly does get better. I am pleased to say my kids actually love me today (no, they did not then as I was the interloper and their grandparents did everything possible to stir things up).

Kathleen, PLEASE DO NOT SAY IT IS THE SAME THING. Plenty of people on this forum have worked and sacrificed to get where they are today. Plenty have had crappy jobs and lots of them. INNKEEPING SHOULD NOT BE KEEPING A ROOF OVER YOUR HEADS. That is absurd. An inn is supposed to be a nice place for guests - not just a job or a roof.
IT IS NOT THE SAME THING, why is it every time someone tries to express the truths of innkeeping someone has to mention that you are alone and isolated and all jobs are the same they just aren't doing it right or this is way better than a corporate job. This is the reason those who have families do not share from their hearts on this forum.
They are not the same, working for someone else vs having the business AS your home is not the same. Sheesh. We have all had jobs before innkeeping. Really we have, every one of us here.
I used to commute. Imagine that, actually did something before innkeeping, I know what it is like to work in the corporate world. If you worked a weekend job away from your kids, then you STILL CAME HOME and threw on pj's and wandered around with a cup of coffee. You cannot DO THAT with a B&B. Your HOME IS NOT YOUR OWN, your family must be ON and BEHAVE. You cannot have a knock down drag out with guests, you cannot leave dirty dishes in the sink-with health dept inspections, and guests.
My husband was away on deployment for months on end - sure there is a sucky side to every job. That is not what I am try to explain on this forum, I am talking about innkeeping.
My point is not 'this is better than a crappy job to keep a roof over our heads' there should not be a comparison to that on this forum. This is not a job you just take, it is a very costly venture. It takes it toll on your finances, your marriage, your family and life. We should not take a cavalier attitude that this is better than working 2 jobs. Apples and oranges.
Thanks for listening. I am not aggravated, I just want it to be clear, as I tell the truth then someone else negates it and paints the rose colored view.

 

[gillumhouse]

a heart to heart from this innkeeper:
Please be aware that a B&B is not the same as a homestay. It is a 24/7 labor intensive job and your kids will have to tow the line and make definite sacrifices. It is very challenging running a B&B and raising kids.
You can't leave their 'stuff' out, the lawns must always be mowed, the place dusted and spic and span, even if a child has the flu the guests still need to be attended to. You can't just tell them "my child has the flu we have been up all night" or there is vomitting.
You can't make events like ball games, have slumber parties. If you do, it is a solo event if you can swing it with much planning, and someone has to be there for guests and checkins. Many time contraints. The other partner of the family who works outside the B&B comes home and works every night and all weekend. (This is what we have done for 6 years). Dh has worked on this porch decking every evening after work this week - last night til 1am to get it painted and dry enough so guests can walk on it tonight.
There are a few of us who do have children and run a B&B and trust me there is no time to hold weddings and care for your kids. A wedding at your B&B requires tons of your time for planning - even if there is a wedding planner! Many many phone calls. It is not easy, it is not that fun, it is in fact very difficult. When most innkeepers paint the cherry rose colored glasses perspective of innkeeping, you can always dig a little deeper and find it is not all it is cracked up to be.
IF you have ZERO mortgage and your spouse works outside the B&B for income and health insurance coverage, then you can go at it how you like. Otherwise there is a HUGE outlay, a lot of overhead and you have to stay on top of it. Inspections, licensing, insurance, marketing, etc etc.
I just want to tell it like it is from my heart. People get ticked when I say other than "you are your own boss, you make all the decisions and do whatever you want to" this is not altogether true, you are chained to your business as you live in it and it can consume you. It must consume you for it to be a success, you have to give it 110%. It is not part time, it is not a cottage industry. It entails the entire family being on board and being innkeepers, day and night.
Others might share some of the same thoughts off the forum. When we do share openly the arrows are shot our direction. I am sure even those without raising kids and running a B&B can tell you it is not for the faint hearted. There is no quick way out when you are done, B&B's often times take years to sell..

JBJ, I am NOT slamming when I say that when I was raising my 2-legged animals I had the same situations as you describe and I was not an innkeeper then, I was was trying to keep a roof over us.
I really did work full-time nights and part-time days until they were old enough to be trusted on the loose during the Summer when school was out. Then I worked full-time days and part-time nights on my days off. DH got to go to the softball games and girls basketball games because they were during the day. I went to evening games when I could, but never saw my son march in a half-time show because I finished up the day week at 2 PM Friday and had to be at work at 11 PM for the night shift weekend job. When i worked nights while they were in grade school I did chaperone field trips and do the room mother route - because I was willing to give up something less important - sleeping.
Having any job other than full-time mother makes one feel the kids are being cheated - especially if we grew up with "stay-at-home-mothers and knew what we really wanted to be. I want to point out the plus for you - as one who many times expressed feelings of being the oxen in the old western movie in the desert scene where the buzzards are picking the bones - your plus is (and grab this because there may not be another) you get to be home when your children come home from school. You are available to your kids, not in an office or factory 25 miles away with mandatory overtime, mandatory staff meetings, or weekend installations...
And I felt just as isolated and alone as you feel now. I wish I knew the words you need to hear. It truly does get better. I am pleased to say my kids actually love me today (no, they did not then as I was the interloper and their grandparents did everything possible to stir things up).
.

JBJ, I am NOT slamming when I say that when I was raising my 2-legged animals I had the same situations as you describe and I was not an innkeeper then, I was was trying to keep a roof over us.
I really did work full-time nights and part-time days until they were old enough to be trusted on the loose during the Summer when school was out. Then I worked full-time days and part-time nights on my days off. DH got to go to the softball games and girls basketball games because they were during the day. I went to evening games when I could, but never saw my son march in a half-time show because I finished up the day week at 2 PM Friday and had to be at work at 11 PM for the night shift weekend job. When i worked nights while they were in grade school I did chaperone field trips and do the room mother route - because I was willing to give up something less important - sleeping.
Having any job other than full-time mother makes one feel the kids are being cheated - especially if we grew up with "stay-at-home-mothers and knew what we really wanted to be. I want to point out the plus for you - as one who many times expressed feelings of being the oxen in the old western movie in the desert scene where the buzzards are picking the bones - your plus is (and grab this because there may not be another) you get to be home when your children come home from school. You are available to your kids, not in an office or factory 25 miles away with mandatory overtime, mandatory staff meetings, or weekend installations...
And I felt just as isolated and alone as you feel now. I wish I knew the words you need to hear. It truly does get better. I am pleased to say my kids actually love me today (no, they did not then as I was the interloper and their grandparents did everything possible to stir things up).

Kathleen, PLEASE DO NOT SAY IT IS THE SAME THING. Plenty of people on this forum have worked and sacrificed to get where they are today. Plenty have had crappy jobs and lots of them. INNKEEPING SHOULD NOT BE KEEPING A ROOF OVER YOUR HEADS. That is absurd. An inn is supposed to be a nice place for guests - not just a job or a roof.
IT IS NOT THE SAME THING, why is it every time someone tries to express the truths of innkeeping someone has to mention that you are alone and isolated and all jobs are the same they just aren't doing it right or this is way better than a corporate job. This is the reason those who have families do not share from their hearts on this forum.
They are not the same, working for someone else vs having the business AS your home is not the same. Sheesh. We have all had jobs before innkeeping. Really we have, every one of us here.
I used to commute. Imagine that, actually did something before innkeeping, I know what it is like to work in the corporate world. If you worked a weekend job away from your kids, then you STILL CAME HOME and threw on pj's and wandered around with a cup of coffee. You cannot DO THAT with a B&B. Your HOME IS NOT YOUR OWN, your family must be ON and BEHAVE. You cannot have a knock down drag out with guests, you cannot leave dirty dishes in the sink-with health dept inspections, and guests.
My husband was away on deployment for months on end - sure there is a sucky side to every job. That is not what I am try to explain on this forum, I am talking about innkeeping.
My point is not 'this is better than a crappy job to keep a roof over our heads' there should not be a comparison to that on this forum. This is not a job you just take, it is a very costly venture. It takes it toll on your finances, your marriage, your family and life. We should not take a cavalier attitude that this is better than working 2 jobs. Apples and oranges.
Thanks for listening. I am not aggravated, I just want it to be clear, as I tell the truth then someone else negates it and paints the rose colored view.
.

Sorry. I did not mean to offend. I also do not mean to infer for one minute that being an innkeeper is not hard work. It is - very hard. There have also been many times DH was lucky we had guests - it prevented a "knock-down/drag-out" discussion. I will shut up now before I trip on my tongue again.

 

[mooseberry]

A longtime dream.
Working from home and still meeting very nice and interesting people from allover the globe.
I also used to wotk in the tourism industry and loved it..

As what where you working in the tourist industrie? As a Reiseverkehrskauffrau

.

As what where you working in the tourist industrie? As a Reiseverkehrskauffrau

nein, nur als hotel / restaurant management...

 

[Willowpondgj]

Well, this is where we're at right now... I had the opportunity to be a stay home mom for 10 years and the economy changed that 2 years ago. I miss seeing my kids everyday, I miss my house, I miss cooking for everyone - teaching the kids cooking and I miss what used to be my garden.
Our hope, and desire is that we will find an AMAZING property in the country where our kids can enjoy new things, my husband can teach them and anyone else who wants to go about HIS land and I can be in my home taking care of it and the people in it the way I want to. We'd like to have a location that has acreage and outbuildings, barns and the like because we would love to be able to host weddings or other major events in peoples lives as well as having an amazing location that just allows the weary traveler to have a place to rest their bones when in town.
Anyway that's our goal - we're not in a huge hurry, so we don't mind if we have to build it up over time. It's DEFINITELY not for the money - just something simpler than the California Madness we've been living!

.

Listen to JBJ, the grass is greener, be careful what you wish for....We are in this boat...better make sure everyone is on board so you don't have a mutiny. HAVE A PLAN B. If I had to do it over again, I would have waited until the kids were out of the house. It's not a fair lifestyle for them. But there is the mortgage and a bad economy, no turning back now.

 

[Willowpondgj]

a heart to heart from this innkeeper:
Please be aware that a B&B is not the same as a homestay. It is a 24/7 labor intensive job and your kids will have to tow the line and make definite sacrifices. It is very challenging running a B&B and raising kids.
You can't leave their 'stuff' out, the lawns must always be mowed, the place dusted and spic and span, even if a child has the flu the guests still need to be attended to. You can't just tell them "my child has the flu we have been up all night" or there is vomitting.
You can't make events like ball games, have slumber parties. If you do, it is a solo event if you can swing it with much planning, and someone has to be there for guests and checkins. Many time contraints. The other partner of the family who works outside the B&B comes home and works every night and all weekend. (This is what we have done for 6 years). Dh has worked on this porch decking every evening after work this week - last night til 1am to get it painted and dry enough so guests can walk on it tonight.
There are a few of us who do have children and run a B&B and trust me there is no time to hold weddings and care for your kids. A wedding at your B&B requires tons of your time for planning - even if there is a wedding planner! Many many phone calls. It is not easy, it is not that fun, it is in fact very difficult. When most innkeepers paint the cherry rose colored glasses perspective of innkeeping, you can always dig a little deeper and find it is not all it is cracked up to be.
IF you have ZERO mortgage and your spouse works outside the B&B for income and health insurance coverage, then you can go at it how you like. Otherwise there is a HUGE outlay, a lot of overhead and you have to stay on top of it. Inspections, licensing, insurance, marketing, etc etc.
I just want to tell it like it is from my heart. People get ticked when I say other than "you are your own boss, you make all the decisions and do whatever you want to" this is not altogether true, you are chained to your business as you live in it and it can consume you. It must consume you for it to be a success, you have to give it 110%. It is not part time, it is not a cottage industry. It entails the entire family being on board and being innkeepers, day and night.
Others might share some of the same thoughts off the forum. When we do share openly the arrows are shot our direction. I am sure even those without raising kids and running a B&B can tell you it is not for the faint hearted. There is no quick way out when you are done, B&B's often times take years to sell..

Thank you JBJ for telling it like it is. This is the information that aspiring innkeepers need to hear. Yes, there are wonderful aspects of this life which is what keeps all of us interested, but there is a harsh reality too.
I know some of you have raised kids while being innkeepers and I bow down to you. With our particular property I don't see how we could have managed a family on top of everything else. The more successful you make your business, the less time you have for family and personal time. My husband and I work side by side, day in and day out. Before we became innkeepers, we hardly ever saw each other. It can be a stress on your relationship living/working together. I've seen it make or break relationships. By the end of our busy season we are pretty snippy with each other. We've gone 6 months without a single day off. We're amazingly tired. We then take a vacation and it reminds us what life in the "real world" is like and reunites us again. Don't get me wrong, this is not a complaint! We've worked really hard to put ourselves in this situation and especially in this economy we're incredibly thankful that we're so busy. This is just a reality check that a bed and breakfast is not like Leave It To Beaver.
Thanks JBJ for your post...sometimes I feel like I'm all alone when I try to be real about this lifestyle.
.

This is just a reality check that a bed and breakfast is not like Leave It To Beaver.
Thanks JBJ for your post...sometimes I feel like I'm all alone when I try to be real about this lifestyle.

The better TV analogy is that it is not like Newhart, it's like Fawlty Towers.
You're not alone. We all sacrifice. Unless you have a really big place where you have staff who attend to everything, you're going non stop. We were going to take a day off next week but someone booked in for 4 nights. No day off. Luckily, we have a housekeeper this year. (I know I keep bringing this up but there are a lot of new members here who have no idea how awful it was last year- our busiest summer ever- when we did everything but mow the lawn ourselves.)
.

It's like Fawlty Towers except it can get to the point where you are crying every night instead of laughing.

 

[Breakfast Diva]

a heart to heart from this innkeeper:
Please be aware that a B&B is not the same as a homestay. It is a 24/7 labor intensive job and your kids will have to tow the line and make definite sacrifices. It is very challenging running a B&B and raising kids.
You can't leave their 'stuff' out, the lawns must always be mowed, the place dusted and spic and span, even if a child has the flu the guests still need to be attended to. You can't just tell them "my child has the flu we have been up all night" or there is vomitting.
You can't make events like ball games, have slumber parties. If you do, it is a solo event if you can swing it with much planning, and someone has to be there for guests and checkins. Many time contraints. The other partner of the family who works outside the B&B comes home and works every night and all weekend. (This is what we have done for 6 years). Dh has worked on this porch decking every evening after work this week - last night til 1am to get it painted and dry enough so guests can walk on it tonight.
There are a few of us who do have children and run a B&B and trust me there is no time to hold weddings and care for your kids. A wedding at your B&B requires tons of your time for planning - even if there is a wedding planner! Many many phone calls. It is not easy, it is not that fun, it is in fact very difficult. When most innkeepers paint the cherry rose colored glasses perspective of innkeeping, you can always dig a little deeper and find it is not all it is cracked up to be.
IF you have ZERO mortgage and your spouse works outside the B&B for income and health insurance coverage, then you can go at it how you like. Otherwise there is a HUGE outlay, a lot of overhead and you have to stay on top of it. Inspections, licensing, insurance, marketing, etc etc.
I just want to tell it like it is from my heart. People get ticked when I say other than "you are your own boss, you make all the decisions and do whatever you want to" this is not altogether true, you are chained to your business as you live in it and it can consume you. It must consume you for it to be a success, you have to give it 110%. It is not part time, it is not a cottage industry. It entails the entire family being on board and being innkeepers, day and night.
Others might share some of the same thoughts off the forum. When we do share openly the arrows are shot our direction. I am sure even those without raising kids and running a B&B can tell you it is not for the faint hearted. There is no quick way out when you are done, B&B's often times take years to sell..

JBJ, I am NOT slamming when I say that when I was raising my 2-legged animals I had the same situations as you describe and I was not an innkeeper then, I was was trying to keep a roof over us.
I really did work full-time nights and part-time days until they were old enough to be trusted on the loose during the Summer when school was out. Then I worked full-time days and part-time nights on my days off. DH got to go to the softball games and girls basketball games because they were during the day. I went to evening games when I could, but never saw my son march in a half-time show because I finished up the day week at 2 PM Friday and had to be at work at 11 PM for the night shift weekend job. When i worked nights while they were in grade school I did chaperone field trips and do the room mother route - because I was willing to give up something less important - sleeping.
Having any job other than full-time mother makes one feel the kids are being cheated - especially if we grew up with "stay-at-home-mothers and knew what we really wanted to be. I want to point out the plus for you - as one who many times expressed feelings of being the oxen in the old western movie in the desert scene where the buzzards are picking the bones - your plus is (and grab this because there may not be another) you get to be home when your children come home from school. You are available to your kids, not in an office or factory 25 miles away with mandatory overtime, mandatory staff meetings, or weekend installations...
And I felt just as isolated and alone as you feel now. I wish I knew the words you need to hear. It truly does get better. I am pleased to say my kids actually love me today (no, they did not then as I was the interloper and their grandparents did everything possible to stir things up).
.

JBJ, I am NOT slamming when I say that when I was raising my 2-legged animals I had the same situations as you describe and I was not an innkeeper then, I was was trying to keep a roof over us.
I really did work full-time nights and part-time days until they were old enough to be trusted on the loose during the Summer when school was out. Then I worked full-time days and part-time nights on my days off. DH got to go to the softball games and girls basketball games because they were during the day. I went to evening games when I could, but never saw my son march in a half-time show because I finished up the day week at 2 PM Friday and had to be at work at 11 PM for the night shift weekend job. When i worked nights while they were in grade school I did chaperone field trips and do the room mother route - because I was willing to give up something less important - sleeping.
Having any job other than full-time mother makes one feel the kids are being cheated - especially if we grew up with "stay-at-home-mothers and knew what we really wanted to be. I want to point out the plus for you - as one who many times expressed feelings of being the oxen in the old western movie in the desert scene where the buzzards are picking the bones - your plus is (and grab this because there may not be another) you get to be home when your children come home from school. You are available to your kids, not in an office or factory 25 miles away with mandatory overtime, mandatory staff meetings, or weekend installations...
And I felt just as isolated and alone as you feel now. I wish I knew the words you need to hear. It truly does get better. I am pleased to say my kids actually love me today (no, they did not then as I was the interloper and their grandparents did everything possible to stir things up).

Kathleen, PLEASE DO NOT SAY IT IS THE SAME THING. Plenty of people on this forum have worked and sacrificed to get where they are today. Plenty have had crappy jobs and lots of them. INNKEEPING SHOULD NOT BE KEEPING A ROOF OVER YOUR HEADS. That is absurd. An inn is supposed to be a nice place for guests - not just a job or a roof.
IT IS NOT THE SAME THING, why is it every time someone tries to express the truths of innkeeping someone has to mention that you are alone and isolated and all jobs are the same they just aren't doing it right or this is way better than a corporate job. This is the reason those who have families do not share from their hearts on this forum.
They are not the same, working for someone else vs having the business AS your home is not the same. Sheesh. We have all had jobs before innkeeping. Really we have, every one of us here.
I used to commute. Imagine that, actually did something before innkeeping, I know what it is like to work in the corporate world. If you worked a weekend job away from your kids, then you STILL CAME HOME and threw on pj's and wandered around with a cup of coffee. You cannot DO THAT with a B&B. Your HOME IS NOT YOUR OWN, your family must be ON and BEHAVE. You cannot have a knock down drag out with guests, you cannot leave dirty dishes in the sink-with health dept inspections, and guests.
My husband was away on deployment for months on end - sure there is a sucky side to every job. That is not what I am try to explain on this forum, I am talking about innkeeping.
My point is not 'this is better than a crappy job to keep a roof over our heads' there should not be a comparison to that on this forum. This is not a job you just take, it is a very costly venture. It takes it toll on your finances, your marriage, your family and life. We should not take a cavalier attitude that this is better than working 2 jobs. Apples and oranges.
Thanks for listening. I am not aggravated, I just want it to be clear, as I tell the truth then someone else negates it and paints the rose colored view.
.

I'm not trying to be the peace maker here, but I really do understand where each of you is coming from.
Yes, it's as demanding as JBJ has described. As long as people are making an informed choice to become innkeepers, it's probably the right decision for them. We don't do aspirings any good by painting everything rosy. Because I did my homework ahead of time I chose this profession and have been wonderfully compensated....no, I'm not talking $$$$$. But also, it's been financially rewarding for us also, which was a HUGE surprise.
Yes, Gillum House has pointed out that it's better than the typical corporate job. And it certainly can be! Again, it will only be better if the person chosing to get out of corporate/ 2 jobs/burn out job etc., is prepared for the grind that comes along with innkeeping.
Knowledge is power, and that's what this forum is all about.

 

[Willowpondgj]

a heart to heart from this innkeeper:
Please be aware that a B&B is not the same as a homestay. It is a 24/7 labor intensive job and your kids will have to tow the line and make definite sacrifices. It is very challenging running a B&B and raising kids.
You can't leave their 'stuff' out, the lawns must always be mowed, the place dusted and spic and span, even if a child has the flu the guests still need to be attended to. You can't just tell them "my child has the flu we have been up all night" or there is vomitting.
You can't make events like ball games, have slumber parties. If you do, it is a solo event if you can swing it with much planning, and someone has to be there for guests and checkins. Many time contraints. The other partner of the family who works outside the B&B comes home and works every night and all weekend. (This is what we have done for 6 years). Dh has worked on this porch decking every evening after work this week - last night til 1am to get it painted and dry enough so guests can walk on it tonight.
There are a few of us who do have children and run a B&B and trust me there is no time to hold weddings and care for your kids. A wedding at your B&B requires tons of your time for planning - even if there is a wedding planner! Many many phone calls. It is not easy, it is not that fun, it is in fact very difficult. When most innkeepers paint the cherry rose colored glasses perspective of innkeeping, you can always dig a little deeper and find it is not all it is cracked up to be.
IF you have ZERO mortgage and your spouse works outside the B&B for income and health insurance coverage, then you can go at it how you like. Otherwise there is a HUGE outlay, a lot of overhead and you have to stay on top of it. Inspections, licensing, insurance, marketing, etc etc.
I just want to tell it like it is from my heart. People get ticked when I say other than "you are your own boss, you make all the decisions and do whatever you want to" this is not altogether true, you are chained to your business as you live in it and it can consume you. It must consume you for it to be a success, you have to give it 110%. It is not part time, it is not a cottage industry. It entails the entire family being on board and being innkeepers, day and night.
Others might share some of the same thoughts off the forum. When we do share openly the arrows are shot our direction. I am sure even those without raising kids and running a B&B can tell you it is not for the faint hearted. There is no quick way out when you are done, B&B's often times take years to sell..

JBJ, I am NOT slamming when I say that when I was raising my 2-legged animals I had the same situations as you describe and I was not an innkeeper then, I was was trying to keep a roof over us.
I really did work full-time nights and part-time days until they were old enough to be trusted on the loose during the Summer when school was out. Then I worked full-time days and part-time nights on my days off. DH got to go to the softball games and girls basketball games because they were during the day. I went to evening games when I could, but never saw my son march in a half-time show because I finished up the day week at 2 PM Friday and had to be at work at 11 PM for the night shift weekend job. When i worked nights while they were in grade school I did chaperone field trips and do the room mother route - because I was willing to give up something less important - sleeping.
Having any job other than full-time mother makes one feel the kids are being cheated - especially if we grew up with "stay-at-home-mothers and knew what we really wanted to be. I want to point out the plus for you - as one who many times expressed feelings of being the oxen in the old western movie in the desert scene where the buzzards are picking the bones - your plus is (and grab this because there may not be another) you get to be home when your children come home from school. You are available to your kids, not in an office or factory 25 miles away with mandatory overtime, mandatory staff meetings, or weekend installations...
And I felt just as isolated and alone as you feel now. I wish I knew the words you need to hear. It truly does get better. I am pleased to say my kids actually love me today (no, they did not then as I was the interloper and their grandparents did everything possible to stir things up).
.

JBJ, I am NOT slamming when I say that when I was raising my 2-legged animals I had the same situations as you describe and I was not an innkeeper then, I was was trying to keep a roof over us.
I really did work full-time nights and part-time days until they were old enough to be trusted on the loose during the Summer when school was out. Then I worked full-time days and part-time nights on my days off. DH got to go to the softball games and girls basketball games because they were during the day. I went to evening games when I could, but never saw my son march in a half-time show because I finished up the day week at 2 PM Friday and had to be at work at 11 PM for the night shift weekend job. When i worked nights while they were in grade school I did chaperone field trips and do the room mother route - because I was willing to give up something less important - sleeping.
Having any job other than full-time mother makes one feel the kids are being cheated - especially if we grew up with "stay-at-home-mothers and knew what we really wanted to be. I want to point out the plus for you - as one who many times expressed feelings of being the oxen in the old western movie in the desert scene where the buzzards are picking the bones - your plus is (and grab this because there may not be another) you get to be home when your children come home from school. You are available to your kids, not in an office or factory 25 miles away with mandatory overtime, mandatory staff meetings, or weekend installations...
And I felt just as isolated and alone as you feel now. I wish I knew the words you need to hear. It truly does get better. I am pleased to say my kids actually love me today (no, they did not then as I was the interloper and their grandparents did everything possible to stir things up).

Kathleen, PLEASE DO NOT SAY IT IS THE SAME THING. Plenty of people on this forum have worked and sacrificed to get where they are today. Plenty have had crappy jobs and lots of them. INNKEEPING SHOULD NOT BE KEEPING A ROOF OVER YOUR HEADS. That is absurd. An inn is supposed to be a nice place for guests - not just a job or a roof.
IT IS NOT THE SAME THING, why is it every time someone tries to express the truths of innkeeping someone has to mention that you are alone and isolated and all jobs are the same they just aren't doing it right or this is way better than a corporate job. This is the reason those who have families do not share from their hearts on this forum.
They are not the same, working for someone else vs having the business AS your home is not the same. Sheesh. We have all had jobs before innkeeping. Really we have, every one of us here.
I used to commute. Imagine that, actually did something before innkeeping, I know what it is like to work in the corporate world. If you worked a weekend job away from your kids, then you STILL CAME HOME and threw on pj's and wandered around with a cup of coffee. You cannot DO THAT with a B&B. Your HOME IS NOT YOUR OWN, your family must be ON and BEHAVE. You cannot have a knock down drag out with guests, you cannot leave dirty dishes in the sink-with health dept inspections, and guests.
My husband was away on deployment for months on end - sure there is a sucky side to every job. That is not what I am try to explain on this forum, I am talking about innkeeping.
My point is not 'this is better than a crappy job to keep a roof over our heads' there should not be a comparison to that on this forum. This is not a job you just take, it is a very costly venture. It takes it toll on your finances, your marriage, your family and life. We should not take a cavalier attitude that this is better than working 2 jobs. Apples and oranges.
Thanks for listening. I am not aggravated, I just want it to be clear, as I tell the truth then someone else negates it and paints the rose colored view.
.

JBJ, I second those emotions.

 

[EmptyNest]

a heart to heart from this innkeeper:
Please be aware that a B&B is not the same as a homestay. It is a 24/7 labor intensive job and your kids will have to tow the line and make definite sacrifices. It is very challenging running a B&B and raising kids.
You can't leave their 'stuff' out, the lawns must always be mowed, the place dusted and spic and span, even if a child has the flu the guests still need to be attended to. You can't just tell them "my child has the flu we have been up all night" or there is vomitting.
You can't make events like ball games, have slumber parties. If you do, it is a solo event if you can swing it with much planning, and someone has to be there for guests and checkins. Many time contraints. The other partner of the family who works outside the B&B comes home and works every night and all weekend. (This is what we have done for 6 years). Dh has worked on this porch decking every evening after work this week - last night til 1am to get it painted and dry enough so guests can walk on it tonight.
There are a few of us who do have children and run a B&B and trust me there is no time to hold weddings and care for your kids. A wedding at your B&B requires tons of your time for planning - even if there is a wedding planner! Many many phone calls. It is not easy, it is not that fun, it is in fact very difficult. When most innkeepers paint the cherry rose colored glasses perspective of innkeeping, you can always dig a little deeper and find it is not all it is cracked up to be.
IF you have ZERO mortgage and your spouse works outside the B&B for income and health insurance coverage, then you can go at it how you like. Otherwise there is a HUGE outlay, a lot of overhead and you have to stay on top of it. Inspections, licensing, insurance, marketing, etc etc.
I just want to tell it like it is from my heart. People get ticked when I say other than "you are your own boss, you make all the decisions and do whatever you want to" this is not altogether true, you are chained to your business as you live in it and it can consume you. It must consume you for it to be a success, you have to give it 110%. It is not part time, it is not a cottage industry. It entails the entire family being on board and being innkeepers, day and night.
Others might share some of the same thoughts off the forum. When we do share openly the arrows are shot our direction. I am sure even those without raising kids and running a B&B can tell you it is not for the faint hearted. There is no quick way out when you are done, B&B's often times take years to sell..

Thank you JBJ for telling it like it is. This is the information that aspiring innkeepers need to hear. Yes, there are wonderful aspects of this life which is what keeps all of us interested, but there is a harsh reality too.
I know some of you have raised kids while being innkeepers and I bow down to you. With our particular property I don't see how we could have managed a family on top of everything else. The more successful you make your business, the less time you have for family and personal time. My husband and I work side by side, day in and day out. Before we became innkeepers, we hardly ever saw each other. It can be a stress on your relationship living/working together. I've seen it make or break relationships. By the end of our busy season we are pretty snippy with each other. We've gone 6 months without a single day off. We're amazingly tired. We then take a vacation and it reminds us what life in the "real world" is like and reunites us again. Don't get me wrong, this is not a complaint! We've worked really hard to put ourselves in this situation and especially in this economy we're incredibly thankful that we're so busy. This is just a reality check that a bed and breakfast is not like Leave It To Beaver.
Thanks JBJ for your post...sometimes I feel like I'm all alone when I try to be real about this lifestyle.
.

This is just a reality check that a bed and breakfast is not like Leave It To Beaver.
Thanks JBJ for your post...sometimes I feel like I'm all alone when I try to be real about this lifestyle.

The better TV analogy is that it is not like Newhart, it's like Fawlty Towers.
You're not alone. We all sacrifice. Unless you have a really big place where you have staff who attend to everything, you're going non stop. We were going to take a day off next week but someone booked in for 4 nights. No day off. Luckily, we have a housekeeper this year. (I know I keep bringing this up but there are a lot of new members here who have no idea how awful it was last year- our busiest summer ever- when we did everything but mow the lawn ourselves.)
.

It's like Fawlty Towers except it can get to the point where you are crying every night instead of laughing.

.

Oh I do hope you are not crying every night. If you are..then you need a break! TAKE ONE!

 

[Willowpondgj]

a heart to heart from this innkeeper:
Please be aware that a B&B is not the same as a homestay. It is a 24/7 labor intensive job and your kids will have to tow the line and make definite sacrifices. It is very challenging running a B&B and raising kids.
You can't leave their 'stuff' out, the lawns must always be mowed, the place dusted and spic and span, even if a child has the flu the guests still need to be attended to. You can't just tell them "my child has the flu we have been up all night" or there is vomitting.
You can't make events like ball games, have slumber parties. If you do, it is a solo event if you can swing it with much planning, and someone has to be there for guests and checkins. Many time contraints. The other partner of the family who works outside the B&B comes home and works every night and all weekend. (This is what we have done for 6 years). Dh has worked on this porch decking every evening after work this week - last night til 1am to get it painted and dry enough so guests can walk on it tonight.
There are a few of us who do have children and run a B&B and trust me there is no time to hold weddings and care for your kids. A wedding at your B&B requires tons of your time for planning - even if there is a wedding planner! Many many phone calls. It is not easy, it is not that fun, it is in fact very difficult. When most innkeepers paint the cherry rose colored glasses perspective of innkeeping, you can always dig a little deeper and find it is not all it is cracked up to be.
IF you have ZERO mortgage and your spouse works outside the B&B for income and health insurance coverage, then you can go at it how you like. Otherwise there is a HUGE outlay, a lot of overhead and you have to stay on top of it. Inspections, licensing, insurance, marketing, etc etc.
I just want to tell it like it is from my heart. People get ticked when I say other than "you are your own boss, you make all the decisions and do whatever you want to" this is not altogether true, you are chained to your business as you live in it and it can consume you. It must consume you for it to be a success, you have to give it 110%. It is not part time, it is not a cottage industry. It entails the entire family being on board and being innkeepers, day and night.
Others might share some of the same thoughts off the forum. When we do share openly the arrows are shot our direction. I am sure even those without raising kids and running a B&B can tell you it is not for the faint hearted. There is no quick way out when you are done, B&B's often times take years to sell..

Thank you JBJ for telling it like it is. This is the information that aspiring innkeepers need to hear. Yes, there are wonderful aspects of this life which is what keeps all of us interested, but there is a harsh reality too.
I know some of you have raised kids while being innkeepers and I bow down to you. With our particular property I don't see how we could have managed a family on top of everything else. The more successful you make your business, the less time you have for family and personal time. My husband and I work side by side, day in and day out. Before we became innkeepers, we hardly ever saw each other. It can be a stress on your relationship living/working together. I've seen it make or break relationships. By the end of our busy season we are pretty snippy with each other. We've gone 6 months without a single day off. We're amazingly tired. We then take a vacation and it reminds us what life in the "real world" is like and reunites us again. Don't get me wrong, this is not a complaint! We've worked really hard to put ourselves in this situation and especially in this economy we're incredibly thankful that we're so busy. This is just a reality check that a bed and breakfast is not like Leave It To Beaver.
Thanks JBJ for your post...sometimes I feel like I'm all alone when I try to be real about this lifestyle.
.

This is just a reality check that a bed and breakfast is not like Leave It To Beaver.
Thanks JBJ for your post...sometimes I feel like I'm all alone when I try to be real about this lifestyle.

The better TV analogy is that it is not like Newhart, it's like Fawlty Towers.
You're not alone. We all sacrifice. Unless you have a really big place where you have staff who attend to everything, you're going non stop. We were going to take a day off next week but someone booked in for 4 nights. No day off. Luckily, we have a housekeeper this year. (I know I keep bringing this up but there are a lot of new members here who have no idea how awful it was last year- our busiest summer ever- when we did everything but mow the lawn ourselves.)
.

It's like Fawlty Towers except it can get to the point where you are crying every night instead of laughing.

.

Oh I do hope you are not crying every night. If you are..then you need a break! TAKE ONE!
.

Not right now, but I've been there...and yes, I always need a break, not any time soon tho'. sigh.

 

[MommyTaylor]

Well, it can't be said that you all don't share from your hearts and speak your minds.

It is evident that you are all passionate about what you do, and it is wonderful to see and hear.
As one of the newest aspiring couples to join the site - DH and I thank you for your frankness - it's good to hear it like it is, so that you don't walk into something with 'rose colored' glasses and then find yourself wondering 'how is it that no one warned me it would be like this".
We joined this site group, and forum to learn, gain insight from y'all experiences so we can walk into this adventure fully armed with as much knowledge as possible. We thank each of your for your blundtness, and for what it's worth, this aspiring couple is listening. Our eyes are open, our 'listening ears' are turned on and we are hearing what you are saying loud and clear. By the time we make the big jump, our youngest and last remaining child in the house will be in high school and not wanting to spend much time with the old folks, so we won't feel like we're ignoring her.
I will admit to a moment of 'bummer, dude' about the difficulty in hosting weddings and other events, but... I can dream...
We are still very firmly rooted in SoCal, both gainfully employed working full time and hoping to start saving up for the big move. We gave ourselves three years to save and find the 'right place' -

 

[JBloggs]

Well, it can't be said that you all don't share from your hearts and speak your minds.

It is evident that you are all passionate about what you do, and it is wonderful to see and hear.
As one of the newest aspiring couples to join the site - DH and I thank you for your frankness - it's good to hear it like it is, so that you don't walk into something with 'rose colored' glasses and then find yourself wondering 'how is it that no one warned me it would be like this".
We joined this site group, and forum to learn, gain insight from y'all experiences so we can walk into this adventure fully armed with as much knowledge as possible. We thank each of your for your blundtness, and for what it's worth, this aspiring couple is listening. Our eyes are open, our 'listening ears' are turned on and we are hearing what you are saying loud and clear. By the time we make the big jump, our youngest and last remaining child in the house will be in high school and not wanting to spend much time with the old folks, so we won't feel like we're ignoring her.
I will admit to a moment of 'bummer, dude' about the difficulty in hosting weddings and other events, but... I can dream...
We are still very firmly rooted in SoCal, both gainfully employed working full time and hoping to start saving up for the big move. We gave ourselves three years to save and find the 'right place' -.

Well, it can't be said that you all don't share from your hearts and speak your minds.

It is evident that you are all passionate about what you do, and it is wonderful to see and hear.
As one of the newest aspiring couples to join the site - DH and I thank you for your frankness - it's good to hear it like it is, so that you don't walk into something with 'rose colored' glasses and then find yourself wondering 'how is it that no one warned me it would be like this".
We joined this site group, and forum to learn, gain insight from y'all experiences so we can walk into this adventure fully armed with as much knowledge as possible. We thank each of your for your blundtness, and for what it's worth, this aspiring couple is listening. Our eyes are open, our 'listening ears' are turned on and we are hearing what you are saying loud and clear. By the time we make the big jump, our youngest and last remaining child in the house will be in high school and not wanting to spend much time with the old folks, so we won't feel like we're ignoring her.
I will admit to a moment of 'bummer, dude' about the difficulty in hosting weddings and other events, but... I can dream...
We are still very firmly rooted in SoCal, both gainfully employed working full time and hoping to start saving up for the big move. We gave ourselves three years to save and find the 'right place' -

Where in SouthernCA? A few on this forum are from there. A couple northern CA innkeepers here as well.

You can hold weddings and functions...just slip those rosey ol' glasses off and you are good to go! You can DO anything you want to do. As long as you know what it is you are getting into. This is a great forum to see varying viewpoints.