WHY do they do this?

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Don Draper

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Let me start by saying I LOVE our senior guests. LOVE. I worked in health care for a long time and geriatrics was my specialty. But we've had a rash of children buying their elderly parents gift certificates to our place. These folks just really shouldn't be out by themselves. They are not comfortable out of their home environment, don't like being somewhere strange and worse yet having to DRIVE there. But they feel they can't possibly "waste" their childrens' gift so insist on using it. And we end up elder sitting the whole time they are here and resent it. I am afraid the whole time someone is going to fall, etc. I wish we could get away with not selling GC's.
 
Do most of your GC sales come over the phone or via your website?
If you can 'get them talking' maybe you could find out if the kids really know what their parents want or if the kids are just floundering for ideas. I hate to talk people out of buying here, but if their parents would really be happier doing something else, everyone would be better off.
I ask how they would like the GC made out (happy birthday, anniversary, etc) then you've opened up a way for them to talk. 'Oh what birthday is this? What anniversary? So, your parents must love to travel! There is so much for them to do here, do you think they'd be interested in...?
Gets the kids thinking that the parents really DON'T want to walk around all day, have no interest in what your town is famous for, really don't want to drive all that way, etc.
We always ask if there are issues with stairs when callers mention their parents. (Then it turns out their parents are my age!)
 
This couple told me yesterday that they always choose a ground floor room because of her ailing knees. Now seriousely, we have a ground floor room (our cottage) and it was available but they did not choose it, they chose one upstairs. Why? I would guess $$. I nearly said "Well why did you pick that room when the cottage was available?" but I could not get a word in edgewise with the conversation manipulator, so I just left it at that.
And remember I had the "butt stepper" here this year. Can't do stairs at all AND the cottage was available I offered it to them.
 
This couple told me yesterday that they always choose a ground floor room because of her ailing knees. Now seriousely, we have a ground floor room (our cottage) and it was available but they did not choose it, they chose one upstairs. Why? I would guess $$. I nearly said "Well why did you pick that room when the cottage was available?" but I could not get a word in edgewise with the conversation manipulator, so I just left it at that.
And remember I had the "butt stepper" here this year. Can't do stairs at all AND the cottage was available I offered it to them..
I had one a few weeks ago wanting to know what we had on the ground floor. I explained the layout and told her about the 'best' room for those with stair issues. 'So, do you have a king bed?' We do and it's on the 2nd floor. (which means 2 flights of stairs up.) That's what she wanted. So, the stairs were only a secondary issue.
 
I had guests who were supposed to be here Wed, Thurs, Fri. Checked in Thursday. Showed them to their room; everything was 'just lovely. Thank you SO much!" Well, then they leave to go out and about and call me from the cell phone about an hour later. Say that they just can't handle a 2nd floor room for 3 days. Huh? They never even asked about the location of the room. They were smokers and wanted a room with an outside entrance. Guess they just assumed. Well, you know what that gets you?
Anyway, they call and ask what it will cost them to leave and go somewhere else. I told them one-night's rent. They gladly paid it, left me with the keys and assured me that the room was, indeed, lovely and everything was very nice and thanks for understanding. Weird...if it was that important, why didn't they ask?
 
I had guests who were supposed to be here Wed, Thurs, Fri. Checked in Thursday. Showed them to their room; everything was 'just lovely. Thank you SO much!" Well, then they leave to go out and about and call me from the cell phone about an hour later. Say that they just can't handle a 2nd floor room for 3 days. Huh? They never even asked about the location of the room. They were smokers and wanted a room with an outside entrance. Guess they just assumed. Well, you know what that gets you?
Anyway, they call and ask what it will cost them to leave and go somewhere else. I told them one-night's rent. They gladly paid it, left me with the keys and assured me that the room was, indeed, lovely and everything was very nice and thanks for understanding. Weird...if it was that important, why didn't they ask?.
Aussie Innkeeper said:
...if it was that important, why didn't they ask?
I want that on my headstone...
 
This couple told me yesterday that they always choose a ground floor room because of her ailing knees. Now seriousely, we have a ground floor room (our cottage) and it was available but they did not choose it, they chose one upstairs. Why? I would guess $$. I nearly said "Well why did you pick that room when the cottage was available?" but I could not get a word in edgewise with the conversation manipulator, so I just left it at that.
And remember I had the "butt stepper" here this year. Can't do stairs at all AND the cottage was available I offered it to them..
DH was a "butt stepper" @ 2 innmates recently. Both of them were gracious, wonderful hosts who had exactly what he needed to navigate the second floor rooms. Thank you!
 
I actually spoke to these people's daughter extensively, it's not that she chose the wrong place, it's just that these people should NOT be traveling alone. I think kids get blinders on about how exactly functional their parents/grandparents are.
They can get around just fine, you can just tell it's overwhelming for them to be out of their home element. They are too tired/afraid to go do anything once they get here. I don't mind that they're here all weekend, I just worry about them up/down the steps, in/out of the house all day long. More chances for an accident!
 
We have a regular just stayed last night actually not very ambulatory can do about 3 steps as has bad legs and a bad heart. does ok with us but has to have breakfast in the lounge as our breakfast room is in the basement down 14 steps. Im fine with this as she just has a bowl of special K and bacon and an egg very simple and low maintenance. Takes the train from Leeds where she lives (16 miles away) taxi from the station then toddles to the theatre or royal hall (5 mins walk away) then gets a taxi back at the end. Ie applies common sense!
 
An innkeeper friend of mine just had to inform the family of an elderly couple that she could no longer have them stay with her unless they were accompanied by a family member. This elderly couple has been staying with her for years and steadily showed a decrease in mental abilities. On their last visit, my friend had to basically babysit them all the time since they could no longer drive anymore.
It's just not fair to innkeepers when the family pawns them off on others.
 
And why do they do THIS?Show up at 11:30 hauling all their baggage out of the car and then roll their eyes and SIGH at me when I say the other guests just left and we haven't even cleaned yet.
And THEN, 'We'll just leave our things in the house, go to the bathroom and come back later.'
When told that wouldn't work: 'What time CAN we use the restroom then?'
I should have asked them to produce their confirmation like someone said. 'What arrival time did you select on your confirmtion?'
 
And why do they do THIS?Show up at 11:30 hauling all their baggage out of the car and then roll their eyes and SIGH at me when I say the other guests just left and we haven't even cleaned yet.
And THEN, 'We'll just leave our things in the house, go to the bathroom and come back later.'
When told that wouldn't work: 'What time CAN we use the restroom then?'
I should have asked them to produce their confirmation like someone said. 'What arrival time did you select on your confirmtion?'.
I hate this so much. Because you know now you won't lay eyes on them until 8 pm and you'll be waiting for them all day. I will usually cave and let them leave their stuff rather than have to wait. But I really like your idea "What arrival time did you select?" Perfect!
 
And why do they do THIS?Show up at 11:30 hauling all their baggage out of the car and then roll their eyes and SIGH at me when I say the other guests just left and we haven't even cleaned yet.
And THEN, 'We'll just leave our things in the house, go to the bathroom and come back later.'
When told that wouldn't work: 'What time CAN we use the restroom then?'
I should have asked them to produce their confirmation like someone said. 'What arrival time did you select on your confirmtion?'.
I hate this so much. Because you know now you won't lay eyes on them until 8 pm and you'll be waiting for them all day. I will usually cave and let them leave their stuff rather than have to wait. But I really like your idea "What arrival time did you select?" Perfect!
.
I may just ask them for their confirmation when they arrive.
And, at the same time, we have this lovely woman here who wanted to know if it was ok to leave her perishable items in the fridge while she went out as long as she got her stuff out of the room so we could clean. And was there a 'spare' bathroom she could use when she was done shopping?
So, yes, she can came back 'after hours' and no there's no spare bathroom, so 'pee while you're shopping!' Or, as I am going to start saying, 'Carpe Pee Um'!
 
And why do they do THIS?Show up at 11:30 hauling all their baggage out of the car and then roll their eyes and SIGH at me when I say the other guests just left and we haven't even cleaned yet.
And THEN, 'We'll just leave our things in the house, go to the bathroom and come back later.'
When told that wouldn't work: 'What time CAN we use the restroom then?'
I should have asked them to produce their confirmation like someone said. 'What arrival time did you select on your confirmtion?'.
I hate this so much. Because you know now you won't lay eyes on them until 8 pm and you'll be waiting for them all day. I will usually cave and let them leave their stuff rather than have to wait. But I really like your idea "What arrival time did you select?" Perfect!
.
I may just ask them for their confirmation when they arrive.
And, at the same time, we have this lovely woman here who wanted to know if it was ok to leave her perishable items in the fridge while she went out as long as she got her stuff out of the room so we could clean. And was there a 'spare' bathroom she could use when she was done shopping?
So, yes, she can came back 'after hours' and no there's no spare bathroom, so 'pee while you're shopping!' Or, as I am going to start saying, 'Carpe Pee Um'!
.
Oddly enough tho they want to LEAVE their stuff for YOU TO WATCH? Not safe in their car, but want to leave it in the foyer with everyone coming and going? That makes no sense. I am NOT going to put someone's stuff in MY BEDROOM, so then what? I don't have this often, but when I do, I will say "You can leave it right there" They ask "Will it be safe there?" I reply "I have no idea if someone is a thief or not."
 
And why do they do THIS?Show up at 11:30 hauling all their baggage out of the car and then roll their eyes and SIGH at me when I say the other guests just left and we haven't even cleaned yet.
And THEN, 'We'll just leave our things in the house, go to the bathroom and come back later.'
When told that wouldn't work: 'What time CAN we use the restroom then?'
I should have asked them to produce their confirmation like someone said. 'What arrival time did you select on your confirmtion?'.
I hate this so much. Because you know now you won't lay eyes on them until 8 pm and you'll be waiting for them all day. I will usually cave and let them leave their stuff rather than have to wait. But I really like your idea "What arrival time did you select?" Perfect!
.
I may just ask them for their confirmation when they arrive.
And, at the same time, we have this lovely woman here who wanted to know if it was ok to leave her perishable items in the fridge while she went out as long as she got her stuff out of the room so we could clean. And was there a 'spare' bathroom she could use when she was done shopping?
So, yes, she can came back 'after hours' and no there's no spare bathroom, so 'pee while you're shopping!' Or, as I am going to start saying, 'Carpe Pee Um'!
.
Oddly enough tho they want to LEAVE their stuff for YOU TO WATCH? Not safe in their car, but want to leave it in the foyer with everyone coming and going? That makes no sense. I am NOT going to put someone's stuff in MY BEDROOM, so then what? I don't have this often, but when I do, I will say "You can leave it right there" They ask "Will it be safe there?" I reply "I have no idea if someone is a thief or not."
.
They didn't want to put it back in the car. Although, I stopped them before they came up the stairs to the door because I knew that would be an issue when I saw how slowly they were moving on the flat surface of the parking lot!
 
This all reminds me of a couple that had received a GC from a dear family friend. The friend told me she wanted the couple to have one last rendezvous as the wife was diagnosed with alzheimers.
The couple came and I could tell the man was so very tired and stressed. She was much worse than I had expected. He tried to make it work but she was very uncomfortable not being in her home. He finally came down and told me they were going to leave. Sad as I do think he needed a break, but this was more work rather than less.
 
This all reminds me of a couple that had received a GC from a dear family friend. The friend told me she wanted the couple to have one last rendezvous as the wife was diagnosed with alzheimers.
The couple came and I could tell the man was so very tired and stressed. She was much worse than I had expected. He tried to make it work but she was very uncomfortable not being in her home. He finally came down and told me they were going to leave. Sad as I do think he needed a break, but this was more work rather than less..
With the Big A, she would hav egiven a much better gift if she had gone to visit with the wife for 3 or 4 hours while the husband took a walk, went to the Library, or just had the chance to sit on a park bench and breathe fresh air.
 
Did you all see the PAII forum thread recently about the poor Innkeeps that had to clean up poo off the floor? Apparently an elderly guest was having some medical issues. Good grief! I think it's terribly selfish of people to expect total strangers (even if they've paid them) to deal with things like this. Just stay home!
 
This all reminds me of a couple that had received a GC from a dear family friend. The friend told me she wanted the couple to have one last rendezvous as the wife was diagnosed with alzheimers.
The couple came and I could tell the man was so very tired and stressed. She was much worse than I had expected. He tried to make it work but she was very uncomfortable not being in her home. He finally came down and told me they were going to leave. Sad as I do think he needed a break, but this was more work rather than less..
We had a similar situation when I worked in a big hotel chap had booked for himself and disabled (in a wheelchair) and alzheimers wife (didn't tell us mind just turned up. The hotels disabled access is at the back so got him in then had to check the room was suitable for her then move rooms to a room that was suitable . when we asked why he didn't tell anyone - "Oh i didn't want to be a bother!" grrrr less bother for us to be prepared for the visit and have you in the fully disabled equiped room opposite the lift! what if we had been fully booked and it was a completely unsuitable room? people like that drive me mad!
 
...show up with expensive equipment they want us to store? There's only so much room for kayaks, etc and we don't have locks for any of the sheds. If we put it in the cellar then they have to get us everytime they want to take the stuff out.
Please ask if there is room before showing up with huge items you don't want to leave outside or that you can't affix to your car.
 
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