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You can't please them all

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JBloggs

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We always try to and get upset. This is where I stand on this issue, I feel that at times I go way beyond trying to please guests than I do with my own loved ones, and then I feel bad.
As I present home made hot from the oven biscuits, ne'r a thank you nor any acknowledgement. Do we give guests our best and our families get the scraps?
I believe this to be true much of the time, and it is something I want to change. But there is only so much energy in this body, once it is gone, then it is frustration and weary bones that are left. But I want our family to be #1. This is a battle I face every day in this business. As mentioned if you have an outside the home job, then you know where the lines are drawn, at home it is your family, out there it is work.
I guess on top of it, I have a daughter with a 103 fever and to have guests not even acknowledge the biscuits I made and served up warm with jam and butter...just kinda made me feel like a bad mother.
(PS Her fever is down as I type this, she is fine, just got the crud that is going round and trying to fight it off)
You can't please them all
Some people are unpleasable, some people are ungrateful
 

JBloggs

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On the other hand, got an email from a reporter who stayed here last weekend and had the best time, was totally spoiled. He is a single guy and lapped up every bit of hospitality and was very thankful. So gotta take the good with the bad, and focus on the good. I just got an email from him. SWEET!
 

Don Draper

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It is just the way it is...the more "extra" you do for people the less they appreciate it. Just focus on the great guests who think your "normal" is extraordinary. And just keep doing "normal", I still maintain it's more than they get anywhere else.
I hope your daughter is feeling better soon.
 

gillumhouse

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I would guess they said nothing because they are at YOUR B & B and they know everything is going to be absolutely wonderful. I would also guess the reason youi felt hurt from the non-scknowledgement is because you have that sweet daughter feeling under the weather and that has heightened your "who id getting the attention" meter. Even with DH being at home, I had a hard time leaving my sickies behind to go to work. But going to work brought in the $$ to take care of those kids.
Try to look at it that at least while you are working at your job, you are only seconds (instead of miles) away from what is MOST important to you. If she really really needs you, adults can be told, "please excuse me for a few minutes, my child needs my attention." and will be understanding and sympathetic - usually.
 

Alibi Ike

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Try not to take it personally is the best I can say. Guests EXPECT this from us, why do we feel we should be thanked for providing what is expected? If you have to have the compliments and it bothers you not to get them, back off on what you provide. Pop open a roll of dough boy and let them be happy with that.
A little oohing and aahing is nice but I never expect guests to thank me for everything I do.
I am one of the ungrateful. If I am staying at a B&B I assume the innkeeper is providing me with whatever the innkeeper feels like doing. I would say thank you for the entire meal but wouldn't be grateful for each part of it.
 

Joey Camb

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Did wine/card etc for 2 rooms this weekend no thank you at all a bit sad but true.
 

One Day

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Don't sweat it........some folks are just quiet.....some may think you hear it all the time, possibly tired of it........some may think they don't get compliments themselves, why give it.
Me...I don't take compliments all that well. If they are brief, fine.....I prefer just an acknowledgement.
Think of your situation this way........if your profession was outside the home......you wouldn't be home for the day seeing to your daughters needs.
 

Proud Texan

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We have the attitude that we are what we are and we do is what we do. Take it or leave it.
That is not to say that we don't strive for excellence, but if someone doesn't say thank you for a service that we provided during the operation of the business, fine. We were the ones who decided what the perks were and what we would charge. Their money is thank you enough. This is a hospitality business! If you need to get stroked everytime you do something for someone then you're going to be disappointed a lot. It's always nice when someone does appreciate it, but you can't pay the bills with thank yous.
 

JBloggs

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Just acknowlegdement, not a big deal. I walk in with the cloth napkin covered biscuits and tell them fresh homemade right out of the oven and expect them to a) smile back, b) say oh nice! c) thanks d) something!
That's all. I think I tell myself this often, but many people are just not expressive. I know I look at things through my own eyes. If anyone ever brought that to me I would be "WOW! THANKS!" or something similar. That's all I am sayin. Didn't say thnak you or we had a nice time when they left either. They just...left. I hope they don't know about TA
PS In ref to "Do you stay out and chat with guests at breakfsat..." needless ot say i went in twice to ask if everything was okay once, then to refill their coffee carafe...and nothing, so I walked back into the kitchen.
 

One Day

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Just acknowlegdement, not a big deal. I walk in with the cloth napkin covered biscuits and tell them fresh homemade right out of the oven and expect them to a) smile back, b) say oh nice! c) thanks d) something!
That's all. I think I tell myself this often, but many people are just not expressive. I know I look at things through my own eyes. If anyone ever brought that to me I would be "WOW! THANKS!" or something similar. That's all I am sayin. Didn't say thnak you or we had a nice time when they left either. They just...left. I hope they don't know about TA
PS In ref to "Do you stay out and chat with guests at breakfsat..." needless ot say i went in twice to ask if everything was okay once, then to refill their coffee carafe...and nothing, so I walked back into the kitchen..
yeah....I know
It's like are they from a different planet......when I go out to eat, or to a store....I acknowledge their efforts......at dinner, always thanking them for filling the water glass, setting a plate in front of me.........and so many around me at tables don't.........and you can tell the diference in the demeanor of the server from table to table
It is courtesy after all that one should acknowledge the help and efforts of others.
 

EmptyNest

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Just acknowlegdement, not a big deal. I walk in with the cloth napkin covered biscuits and tell them fresh homemade right out of the oven and expect them to a) smile back, b) say oh nice! c) thanks d) something!
That's all. I think I tell myself this often, but many people are just not expressive. I know I look at things through my own eyes. If anyone ever brought that to me I would be "WOW! THANKS!" or something similar. That's all I am sayin. Didn't say thnak you or we had a nice time when they left either. They just...left. I hope they don't know about TA
PS In ref to "Do you stay out and chat with guests at breakfsat..." needless ot say i went in twice to ask if everything was okay once, then to refill their coffee carafe...and nothing, so I walked back into the kitchen..
yeah....I know
It's like are they from a different planet......when I go out to eat, or to a store....I acknowledge their efforts......at dinner, always thanking them for filling the water glass, setting a plate in front of me.........and so many around me at tables don't.........and you can tell the diference in the demeanor of the server from table to table
It is courtesy after all that one should acknowledge the help and efforts of others.
.
I am with you ONEDAY...common courstesy... unfortunately...there are more and more who don't get it these days and never were taught it.
 

Alice I. W.

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Doing a super job "at work" does not subtract from your family, it adds to their security. You prove that you are a loving mom every day when you get out of bed and keep going!
 

Penelope

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Doing a super job "at work" does not subtract from your family, it adds to their security. You prove that you are a loving mom every day when you get out of bed and keep going!.
Alice I. W. said:
Doing a super job "at work" does not subtract from your family, it adds to their security. You prove that you are a loving mom every day when you get out of bed and keep going!
Directed at Joey: I agree with Alice's statement 100%

 

JBloggs

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Thank you for the comfort. That was all I was after, the reason I titled the thread the way I did. If I wanted someone to chastice and tell me "Tough it's your job" I would have talked to someone here... Appreciate it.
She is back to 103.5 fever, I got some ibuprofen into her and will wait for it to break...of course issues with the other kid, always issues with the other one. But no guests tonight...I am very thankful for that. We can just be a sick family now.
 

Penelope

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Thank you for the comfort. That was all I was after, the reason I titled the thread the way I did. If I wanted someone to chastice and tell me "Tough it's your job" I would have talked to someone here... Appreciate it.
She is back to 103.5 fever, I got some ibuprofen into her and will wait for it to break...of course issues with the other kid, always issues with the other one. But no guests tonight...I am very thankful for that. We can just be a sick family now..
Joey Bloggs said:
She is back to 103.5 fever, I got some ibuprofen into her and will wait for it to break...of course issues with the other kid, always issues with the other one. But no guests tonight...I am very thankful for that. We can just be a sick family now.
I'll keep you guys in my prayers
 

The Tipsy Butler

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Hi JB
I'm sorry I'm just getting to this thread. That's a tough fever .... and she takes priority. I really hope she's on the mend.
Sometimes when I have a "moment" all I'm looking for is a:
"there there. It's alright. You're doing a wonderful job. You know it, we know it. Hang in there sweetheart". I'm actually not looking for it to be fixed. I'm not looking for solutions. I just NEED a little TLC.
Last time I had such a "moment" I almost without thinking pounded out a pissed off, stream of consciousness e-mail to another forum member. I even titled the e-mail "because I had to send it to someone". I simply had to get it off my chest. It was not big deal but it was huge at the time and a "suck it up response" would have probably left me in tears or a totally unwarrented towering rage. I got back exactly what I needed .... "I understand" "here's what just happened to me" "you can always vent here when you need / want to".
Anyway - enough rambling. Keep doing what you're doing. The guests will never forget it (even if they're not vocalizing and didn't have mothers like you to learn them some manners) and ..... this too will pass.
 

Don Draper

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Hi JB
I'm sorry I'm just getting to this thread. That's a tough fever .... and she takes priority. I really hope she's on the mend.
Sometimes when I have a "moment" all I'm looking for is a:
"there there. It's alright. You're doing a wonderful job. You know it, we know it. Hang in there sweetheart". I'm actually not looking for it to be fixed. I'm not looking for solutions. I just NEED a little TLC.
Last time I had such a "moment" I almost without thinking pounded out a pissed off, stream of consciousness e-mail to another forum member. I even titled the e-mail "because I had to send it to someone". I simply had to get it off my chest. It was not big deal but it was huge at the time and a "suck it up response" would have probably left me in tears or a totally unwarrented towering rage. I got back exactly what I needed .... "I understand" "here's what just happened to me" "you can always vent here when you need / want to".
Anyway - enough rambling. Keep doing what you're doing. The guests will never forget it (even if they're not vocalizing and didn't have mothers like you to learn them some manners) and ..... this too will pass..
The Tipsy Butler said:
"there there. It's alright. You're doing a wonderful job. You know it, we know it. Hang in there sweetheart". I'm actually not looking for it to be fixed. I'm not looking for solutions. I just NEED a little TLC.
I think that's all most of us ever need, but sometimes because we are all givers, we don't get it...so we can't give it back out HERE to our innmates. So it's good there's so many of us, so someone can always be hands-free to give support when someone else is carrying the sucky baton.

 

Joey Camb

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I am lucky cos for a change we have had gracious bunch in (wed through Friday Unison women's conference on the empowerment of women!) felt like saying meet B&B women and you will meet some empowered people! then bobbins at the weekend who one left a note saying thanks for looking after us so nicely and one sent an email. However back to bedlam today as it is the first day of the new windows so room 7 is finished and room 6 so just have to put it all back together! but looks amazing! Also have started painting the top landing looks a lot better and my godbrother is making another headboard for room 1 have been buying all the stuff today. Think I will have time to paint the ceiling in room 1 as my brother in law has a day off university so is comming to help.
On the down side my pump exploded in my bathroom and all water out of the dishwasher poured out everywhere in my bathroom and all the bedroom carpet is soaked!
Swings and roundabouts! Oh well feel I am more steps forward than back lol.
 

Tom

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I am lucky cos for a change we have had gracious bunch in (wed through Friday Unison women's conference on the empowerment of women!) felt like saying meet B&B women and you will meet some empowered people! then bobbins at the weekend who one left a note saying thanks for looking after us so nicely and one sent an email. However back to bedlam today as it is the first day of the new windows so room 7 is finished and room 6 so just have to put it all back together! but looks amazing! Also have started painting the top landing looks a lot better and my godbrother is making another headboard for room 1 have been buying all the stuff today. Think I will have time to paint the ceiling in room 1 as my brother in law has a day off university so is comming to help.
On the down side my pump exploded in my bathroom and all water out of the dishwasher poured out everywhere in my bathroom and all the bedroom carpet is soaked!
Swings and roundabouts! Oh well feel I am more steps forward than back lol..
camberleyhotelharrogate@yahoo.co.uk said:
Swings and roundabouts!
Snakes and Ladders ?
Early training for B&B life.
 

Samster

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I hear you....
I hear you loud and clear!
It is when you are giving 100% plus to the guests and expecting some small recognition (nothing big, just acknowledgment that you are going above & beyond most places) that this smacks you in the face. Then, add to that feeling that you felt like you were needed elsewhere.
I hope today is a better day for you and your family.
Vent here anytime...
 
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