You Just Might Be an Innkeeper If...

[Aussie Innkeeper]

I recall a discussion or thread on this from somewhere, but cannot seem to find it. "You Just Might Be an Innkeeper If..." and there were a bunch of very funny anecdotes that followed.
The reason I'm looking for this is because I have to give a speech when I'm presented with the local chapter SCORE award next month. This is just the local chapter award, I'm STILL waiting to hear from the national contest that I entered (and SO many of you voted).
Personally, I'd rather have a root canal than talk in front of a ball room full of people (oh, only 300 or so!). So I thought that if I started with some kind of funny introduction to break the ice, I might feel more at ease. Besides, I don't think that an innkeeper has ever been presented with this award and this audience won't know squat about innkeeping. C
Can anyone help me out?

 

[Morticia]

I can't find it either.
Some of them were:
... You live in 10% of a million dollar house.
... You have a huge collection of half used toilet paper rolls in your bathroom.
... You have so many beer and wine bottles every week, the trash guy (redemption store) worries you're an alcoholic.

 

[Morticia]

... You buy vanilla extract in a gallon jug.

 

[TheBeachHouse]

you need a hutch for your collection of phone chargers?
Congratulations and best of luck on the speech!

 

[JBloggs]

Congratulations on the award.

Only use the funny innkeeper anecdotes - just a few will do... you find someone else's panties in your bed and...
Here it is