The moment you have all been waiting for! "The Best Of"

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The Best of...Chat, Vent, Laugh, Cry

What is the most outrageous thing someone has done at your B&B/Inn (a paying guest).

If you wish to remain anon, perhaps it was recent, just mail me from the forum and I can add it to the list for you!

One line title of the THING they did or DID NOT do, and then a description is you want to explain in detail. If you MUST have two, then give us your TOP CHOICE and RUNNER UP in the DUFUS category...

Give it a title, not a book please - THE PROFESSIONAL , ie for BD's story, or whatever...

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What?!

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Y'all are scaring me.

The worst one we've had didn't bother us at all, but made me think a little.

Father and adult daughter checked in.  I noticed they had only booked one room.  I suggested we move them to a room with two beds.  "No, we're fine."  And yes, they both slept in the king bed. 

Wouldn't have been my choice......but ......

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Not uncommon in Europe. Just think the best of it. We don't bat an eyelash when a mom and daughter do it and yet... it's really just as ick if you ask me.

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TheBeachHouse wrote:

Y'all are scaring me.

The worst one we've had didn't bother us at all, but made me think a little.

Father and adult daughter checked in.  I noticed they had only booked one room.  I suggested we move them to a room with two beds.  "No, we're fine."  And yes, they both slept in the king bed. 

Wouldn't have been my choice......but ......

This happened here just a couple weeks ago... gave me the creeps . Only difference in my story is they had a QN bed not king - yuck! AND he kept referencing her as his model. 

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"What is the most outrageous thing someone has done at your B&B/Inn (a paying guest)."

I am asking about GUEST STORIES actually... BEST OF bad guest stories, outrageous guest stories...

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My second .... and last guest experience that I'll never forget (and still makes me giggle).

Guests arrive 2 hours early.  The moment I greet them I know I'm in for trouble.  Their room (the best room) however is ready so I welcome them.

Long story, but I'm going to cut to the chase.  A/C.  It's June.  It's cool.  I put in a/c as late in the season as possible because it means losing a window for natural breezes.

"would you like a/c"

"Yes"

"No problem, I'll install when I do your turn-down"

"NO - NOW"

"OK - no problem"

I stagger into the room with a HUGE a/c and my cute briefcase tool box.

"Oh, for goodness sake ...... why can't you get your maintenance staff to do that for you"

"Oh my gosh, you're right.  Let me get them up here".

I run downstairs, change into jeans, a baseball cap and my toolbelt, run back upstairs, knock on the door.

"Who is it"

"Maintenance !!! "

 

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enlightened

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yes LOVE IT!

Ice
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ukmaineiac wrote:

My second .... and last guest experience that I'll never forget (and still makes me giggle).

Guests arrive 2 hours early.  The moment I greet them I know I'm in for trouble.  Their room (the best room) however is ready so I welcome them.

Long story, but I'm going to cut to the chase.  A/C.  It's June.  It's cool.  I put in a/c as late in the season as possible because it means losing a window for natural breezes.

"would you like a/c"

"Yes"

"No problem, I'll install when I do your turn-down"

"NO - NOW"

"OK - no problem"

I stagger into the room with a HUGE a/c and my cute briefcase tool box.

"Oh, for goodness sake ...... why can't you get your maintenance staff to do that for you"

"Oh my gosh, you're right.  Let me get them up here".

I run downstairs, change into jeans, a baseball cap and my toolbelt, run back upstairs, knock on the door.

"Who is it"

"Maintenance !!! "

 

Amen!      yes

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Hmmm - well a joint effort between the guest and the innkeeper.  

Returning guest (second stay) comes down to breakfast.  The dining room is full and all other guests are new.  

"Good Morning - I hope you slept well"

"Thank you, I slept wonderfully, but I had real trouble shaving in that second sink in the bathroom"

We have bidets in our rooms and he was testing my sense of humour.  I knew exactly what I wanted to say.  I knew I absolutely shouldn't say it.  I knew I was going to say it anyway .....

"Well ..... I guess it really depends on what you're trying to shave"

Thankfully, those guests that "got it"  were amused and it went way over the heads of everyone else.

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ukmaineiac wrote:

Hmmm - well a joint effort between the guest and the innkeeper.  

Returning guest (second stay) comes down to breakfast.  The dining room is full and all other guests are new.  

"Good Morning - I hope you slept well"

"Thank you, I slept wonderfully, but I had real trouble shaving in that second sink in the bathroom"

We have bidets in our rooms and he was testing my sense of humour.  I knew exactly what I wanted to say.  I knew I absolutely shouldn't say it.  I knew I was going to say it anyway .....

"Well ..... I guess it really depends on what you're trying to shave"

Thankfully, those guests that "got it"  were amused and it went way over the heads of everyone else.

That was a great line! I would have blurted it out too!

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ukmaineiac wrote:

Hmmm - well a joint effort between the guest and the innkeeper.  

Returning guest (second stay) comes down to breakfast.  The dining room is full and all other guests are new.  

"Good Morning - I hope you slept well"

"Thank you, I slept wonderfully, but I had real trouble shaving in that second sink in the bathroom"

We have bidets in our rooms and he was testing my sense of humour.  I knew exactly what I wanted to say.  I knew I absolutely shouldn't say it.  I knew I was going to say it anyway .....

"Well ..... I guess it really depends on what you're trying to shave"

Thankfully, those guests that "got it"  were amused and it went way over the heads of everyone else.

ahhhhhhh

flashback to ice and the bidet...if you have never met Ice she is quite, er, vocal, and humorous, and delightful...she was delightful on the bidet on the innspiring road trip. TOO delightful. cool

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Ice Ice Bidet, Ice Ice Bidet.

Hoping you're adding your own soundtrack Smiling 

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Had a couple who had stayed with us maybe 2 times in 10 years return for a visit. They ordered our room service delivered dinner. Soup, garlic bread, filet mignon, salmon, veggies, baked potato with all the fixin's, cheesecake or ice cream with berry sauce...oh wait, I remember I made her a special lava cake because of some food issue. Next day they tell me they thought that the dinner was overpriced. It's $65 for 2, no tax, no tip. ROOM SERVICE!

I was just floored. I went into how we make everything from scratch and had to purchase all items retail, not wholesale like a restaurant. Made a joke that last time I ordered room service at a hotel I paid about that for a burger dinner. There is no way they could have gone into one of our nicer restaurants and only paid $65.

We're on the coast, everything here costs more and my time is valuable.

I told them I was sorry they felt that way and when they pay their bill the next day at check-out, just give me what they thought the value of the meal was.

They paid me $50, and you know that killed them! I'm sure they really thought it should be less than that. They live in Seattle, so there's no way unless they're used to eating at fast food/chain restaurants they could have gotten the meal they ate here for less than what we charged.

This incident made them look like fools. I hope they never return. I felt pretty good about the way I resolved it because they ended up looking like chumps.

 

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Breakfast Diva wrote:

Next day they tell me they thought that the dinner was overpriced. It's $65 for 2, no tax, no tip. ROOM SERVICE!

Is it that they didn't know ahead of time that it was $65, or that they knew the cost and menu but were saying that after getting it, they thought it wasn't worth the charge?

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Arks wrote:

Breakfast Diva wrote:

Next day they tell me they thought that the dinner was overpriced. It's $65 for 2, no tax, no tip. ROOM SERVICE!

Is it that they didn't know ahead of time that it was $65, or that they knew the cost and menu but were saying that after getting it, they thought it wasn't worth the charge?

They had ordered it with their online reservation as an add-on, so it was their choice. Everything on the meal is spelled out on our dining page and confirmation letter. When they order it with their reservation, I send them a separate e-mail with the menu and they each get to choose each course for themselves. They knew exactly what they were getting and they said this after they ate it all and slept overnight.

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Breakfast Diva wrote:

They knew exactly what they were getting and they said this after they ate it all and slept overnight.

You are well rid of them! Wish you'd charged $80!

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LOVING this thread!

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Duplicate entry.

 

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Proud Texan wrote:

Duplicate entry.

That's one post that did not need to be duplicated, PT!

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The guest who took an explosive diarrhea crap on the outside wall of one of our cottages.  The single most disgusting experience since we've been in business. 

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Last week as a matter of fact; guests never made it for breakfast. The Inn was full and they were a family of four which made 9 for breakfast. Only four show up. Waiting till 9:15 we are done by 9. Everyone has checked out, we wait and find out that the "family" had gone home,. DH calls him, he comes in and as I was cleaning tells them they went home cause the daughter lost her match (whatever game) so they didn't stay. But mind you they kept ringing the door bell ouside the room, and my husband went to see them, they didn't need anything but didn't tell him that they were leaving....really? They then ask my dh if their son can come back to shower, dh did this without informing me...asked him if he got three keys, he said yes. I told my dh, they are NOT COMING BACK IN...we lock the doors and keep cleaning the inn. a couple hours later they let themselves in-don't know how and the kid is already in the room (that I cleaned) and in the shower, I did what I could; ran to our living quarters and shut the door I swear I wanted to punch them and my dh.

Found out today, giving the room keys (which normally has a house key and room key) that the house key was missing=now we know what happened to the key...grrrrr

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I have two (thanks to SeaShanty who reminded me of another)

The tour guide's CRAZY thief GF

  • got into our freezer during the night, got out a pound of raw shrimp and tried to cook some in the microwave - no plate, straight on turntable.  Left them there, rest of pound left on counter - a complete STINKY mess for me to clean up, disinfect before starting breakfast
  • Drank some of our OLD collectable cokes
  • threw a pair of dirty socks in my face thinking they were left by others, turned out to be her BF's
  • found my DH's jacket under her bed while cleaning room
  • There was more, believe me!
  • You are thinking why wasn't she tossed to the curb!  Her BF had booked the whole place for 2 weeks!  He did finally take her to a hotel after his tour group insisted even they didn't want to be near her.

Hotel Calif Girl or should I say Out in Space Girl:

Like SS, the woman could not get out of her room. (FYI: JB she was in your room here.)  Here on business going to gov. space complex.  She called me downstairs said she could not get out.  I walked up and found her room door wide open to the vestibule where all she had to do was open the FR door to get out.  When I opened the FR door her eyes almost popped out of her head.  She then said "the sign said to keep the door closed"  Yep Here's your sign! 

 

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"Drank some of our OLD collectable cokes"

You know I thing I remember how long ago that was, that was PRE KATRINA on the old forum.

"threw a pair of dirty socks in my face thinking they were left by others, turned out to be her BF's"

Oh yeah I forgot about the DEATH SOCKS IN THE CLOSET here...there went my stomach, it did a belly flop churn just remembering that!

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My guests are like us - B O R I N Gggggggg       We really have not had any Ooops, just remembered

 

The brat that managed to lock the deadbolt lock on safety so the key did not work AND had the front (fire escape) window  that has 2 latches with one open and the other locked so that entrance was out. Fortunately it had been a warm day for the season and his mother had opened the side window that should have been locked. I had to call the Fire Dept to come with a ladder to go in and open the door on the empty room. (He had slammed it with such force the jam allowed it to close). 2 weeks later we were awakened to pounding on a door. Going to check on it, it was the same family, this time the kid was "asleep" in the back bedroom with the door on safety lock and mother and brother were pounding on the door to "wake him up". I crawled out the window of the bathroom to discover #1 - it was raining and the rain from the roof was dripping down the back of my neck and #2 the window was open and when I yelled at the brat with my body half in the room, he suddenly jumped up and opened the door. They were told to leave the next day. (They had had a fire at their house and the insurance was paying for them to stay.)

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gillumhouse wrote:

My guests are like us - B O R I N Gggggggg       We really have not had any Ooops, just remembered

 

The brat that managed to lock the deadbolt lock on safety so the key did not work AND had the front (fire escape) window  that has 2 latches with one open and the other locked so that entrance was out. Fortunately it had been a warm day for the season and his mother had opened the side window that should have been locked. I had to call the Fire Dept to come with a ladder to go in and open the door on the empty room. (He had slammed it with such force the jam allowed it to close). 2 weeks later we were awakened to pounding on a door. Going to check on it, it was the same family, this time the kid was "asleep" in the back bedroom with the door on safety lock and mother and brother were pounding on the door to "wake him up". I crawled out the window of the bathroom to discover #1 - it was raining and the rain from the roof was dripping down the back of my neck and #2 the window was open and when I yelled at the brat with my body half in the room, he suddenly jumped up and opened the door. They were told to leave the next day. (They had had a fire at their house and the insurance was paying for them to stay.)

 

Kathleen, I can't believe you had to crawl through the window!!! no way could I do that.

 

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seashanty wrote:

gillumhouse wrote:

My guests are like us - B O R I N Gggggggg       We really have not had any Ooops, just remembered

 

The brat that managed to lock the deadbolt lock on safety so the key did not work AND had the front (fire escape) window  that has 2 latches with one open and the other locked so that entrance was out. Fortunately it had been a warm day for the season and his mother had opened the side window that should have been locked. I had to call the Fire Dept to come with a ladder to go in and open the door on the empty room. (He had slammed it with such force the jam allowed it to close). 2 weeks later we were awakened to pounding on a door. Going to check on it, it was the same family, this time the kid was "asleep" in the back bedroom with the door on safety lock and mother and brother were pounding on the door to "wake him up". I crawled out the window of the bathroom to discover #1 - it was raining and the rain from the roof was dripping down the back of my neck and #2 the window was open and when I yelled at the brat with my body half in the room, he suddenly jumped up and opened the door. They were told to leave the next day. (They had had a fire at their house and the insurance was paying for them to stay.)

 

Kathleen, I can't believe you had to crawl through the window!!! no way could I do that.

 

That was back in 2011 before my knees REALLY started screaming., The thing that really fried me was there was no apology. Oh, and when I got on thr kitchen roof is when I found that in addition to the rain, I was (thankfully) in my deer hide slippers on a roof that was NOT flat, as I thought it was

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Dupe

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You all have made my day.  I've laughed my a$$ off reading these Laughing out loud  Thanks!

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  hmmmm ... there were so many but I'll stop at three.

 

  The Night Crawler ... creepy, skinny old man who crept into the kitchen (barely) in boxer shorts for a good night kiss ... who I almost flattened with a frying pan

  The Nut ... woman who locked herself in her room ... using this ...   and went ballistic screaming that someone had locked her in.  My son would've LIKED to hit her with something. 

 

  The TP Thief whose suitcase burst open and a couple dozen rolls of toilet paper bounced down the stairs

   wink

 

 

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Seashanty said "The Nut ... woman who locked herself in her room ... using this ...   and went ballistic screaming that someone had locked her in.  My son would've LIKED to hit her with something.:

We had a woman lock herself in and do this, what the! We STILL TO THIS DAY cannot figure out how someone can lock themselves into a room.

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You always had the best stories SS!

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Madeleine wrote:

You always had the best stories SS!

The "toilet roll" is probably my all time favorite innkeeping story. I love that story, love it!

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My favorite story about innkeeping  was from my friend who is now retired. Her husband agreed to B & B because she wanted it. First guests arrive while he is at work.  They have a ranch house ant rented the 2 kids rooms (converted to B  & B) that shared a bath across the hall.

He comes home and goes to their room to change out of work clothes and comes out into the hall just as the teen daughter of the guests exits the bathroom clad in bra, panties, and towel wrapped around hair. She said hello, he said hello as they passed and then went into the kitchen to tell his wife, "I think I am going to like this B & B stuff."

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gillumhouse wrote:

"I think I am going to like this B & B stuff."

yes

But it's usually not a scantily-clad teenager. More likely a fat old guy in boxers and a "wife beater" undershirt.

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Joey Bloggs wrote:

Madeleine wrote:

You always had the best stories SS!

The "toilet roll" is probably my all time favorite innkeeping story. I love that story, love it!

I love it too! Even before SS posted it yesterday, It was one of the first stories I thought about!

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Joey Bloggs wrote:

The "toilet roll" is probably my all time favorite innkeeping story. I love that story, love it!

Yep! And it reminds me of a friend of mine (no, JB, not Linda). She never leaves a restaurant without a purse full of sugar and sweetener packs, straws, toothpicks, you name it. She never uses any of it. Just fills drawers with it "just in case". If it's out for the taking, she takes it. I hate that!

Hope she doesn't stay at Sugar Bear's. An international incident would result from that.

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Arks wrote:

Joey Bloggs wrote:

The "toilet roll" is probably my all time favorite innkeeping story. I love that story, love it!

Yep! And it reminds me of a friend of mine (no, JB, not Linda). She never leaves a restaurant without a purse full of sugar and sweetener packs, straws, toothpicks, you name it. She never uses any of it. Just fills drawers with it "just in case". If it's out for the taking, she takes it. I hate that!

Hope she doesn't stay at Sugar Bear's. An international incident would result from that.

She would carry a zip lock baggie or two in her handbag. Crackers from soup? Goes into the bag. 

I agree, I would love to be one of Sugarbears guests some time, we need to cause an international inncident up there! It would be so fun...let's call one of the prank shows...I need some new teaspoons... haha yes

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Madeleine wrote:

You always had the best stories SS!

 

fond memories ... haha.  like the guy who came in through an upstairs window off the fire escape because 'all the doors were locked'  not a guest, just a guy who wanted to park in the lot ... are you kidding?  or the woman who went for a walk and 'ate some wild berries then fell asleep on a rock near the lighthouse' she was gone for hours and came back high as a kite.  told me everything was just fine.  so many!!! sorry, jb. i know you said two.

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seashanty wrote:

Madeleine wrote:

You always had the best stories SS!

 

fond memories ... haha.  like the guy who came in through an upstairs window off the fire escape because 'all the doors were locked'  not a guest, just a guy who wanted to park in the lot ... are you kidding?  or the woman who went for a walk and 'ate some wild berries then fell asleep on a rock near the lighthouse' she was gone for hours and came back high as a kite.  told me everything was just fine.  so many!!! sorry, jb. i know you said two.

We had the mother of the son at band camp nearby, who would get high and lay herself out on the porch decking every day (blocking the path where our guests would walk up to check in). She is also the one I saw at a restaurant and said "Where is your son?" this was the night prior to band camp. "Oh we locked him in the room" I was livid!

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Which one?

I think I'll go way back to the cheerleader. Booked for a week, could only pay for 4 nights. Said she had to get money for the rest. Her credit card didn't work.

No car. Said it was no problem to walk 3-4 miles in 4 inch heels. Dressed like she was a working girl. Completely scandalized several long time repeat guests who have never been back.

Used our business phone for tons of personal calls. I would answer the phone and she would tell me, on the extension, that I could hang up, it was for her.

2 different guys showed up looking for her.

1 guy brought grocery store flowers the day her husband sent a huge bouquet of roses. Imagine us on the phone with this guy telling us she's married with 5 kids. Asking us was she ok. Did we think he should send flowers?

The name on her suitcase was not the name she gave us when she made the rez. Because she left it open on the floor I peeked... Tons of sandals, DVD's, negligees and not much else.

Next morning, after the roses arrived, she showed everyone pix of the kids, told me the guy with the grocery store flowers was a loser, gave me the flowers, said her daughter was really smart but she'd be better off being pretty, said she lived in a gated community and was going back to her husband and left 3 days early, much to my immense relief.

Took us close to a week to get the hairspray off the walls, floors, doors and to get rid of the perfume smell.

There is probably more but it was close to 10 years ago!

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Madeleine wrote:

Which one?

I think I'll go way back to the cheerleader. Booked for a week, could only pay for 4 nights. Said she had to get money for the rest. Her credit card didn't work.

No car. Said it was no problem to walk 3-4 miles in 4 inch heels. Dressed like she was a working girl. Completely scandalized several long time repeat guests who have never been back.

Used our business phone for tons of personal calls. I would answer the phone and she would tell me, on the extension, that I could hang up, it was for her.

2 different guys showed up looking for her.

1 guy brought grocery store flowers the day her husband sent a huge bouquet of roses. Imagine us on the phone with this guy telling us she's married with 5 kids. Asking us was she ok. Did we think he should send flowers?

The name on her suitcase was not the name she gave us when she made the rez. Because she left it open on the floor I peeked... Tons of sandals, DVD's, negligees and not much else.

Next morning, after the roses arrived, she showed everyone pix of the kids, told me the guy with the grocery store flowers was a loser, gave me the flowers, said her daughter was really smart but she'd be better off being pretty, said she lived in a gated community and was going back to her husband and left 3 days early, much to my immense relief.

Took us close to a week to get the hairspray off the walls, floors, doors and to get rid of the perfume smell.

There is probably more but it was close to 10 years ago!

 

wow!!

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This is a tough one!

I think it's the time the older guy (he looked like Captain Kangaroo) that showed up at the front door for his 3 night reservation with a tall, bleach blond waist length haired woman with skin tight clothes, 'ho shoes', and pounds of makeup on. When showing them their room, she sprawls herself on the bed in front of me making jokes about handcuffs and wanted to know exactly where the other rooms were located.

I was in such a panic the first day/night because it was obvious she was a 'professional' and I didn't know how the sounds were going to travel! I found myself getting up out of bed to get close to their at different times to make sure whatever was happening up there didn't disturb our other guests. Over the 3 nights, I never heard a peep! We went into the suite to freshen and they had taken the top mattress off the bed and put it in front of the gas fireplace on the floor, moved furniture and it smelled like a massage parlor. Oh yeah, there was also an escort magazine on a counter and a couple of bags opened up with 'toys'.

Seeing her going and coming from the car after being at the beach in a skimpy bikini was quite a sight. Even on hot summer days, the ocean here is about 45 degrees and the time of year they were here was not hot. I have never seen another bikini anywhere near a beach in our area in 13 years! 

It was pretty outrageous

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I thought it was going to be the dance pole

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gillumhouse wrote:

I thought it was going to be the dance pole

It was a tough to just pick one!

Generic's picture
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The guest who kept on emailing me from within the house with more and more demands.

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Sugar Bear wrote:

The guest who kept on emailing me from within the house with more and more demands.

crazy!!

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we have a regular that emails from within - he's very shy but he's very helpful just emails down in the evening so I know what time for breakfast and what time he will be checking out. Easy peasy

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Sugar Bear wrote:

The guest who kept on emailing me from within the house with more and more demands.

Sounds like an attorney. cool

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Passive aggressive, persecution complex and attempting to use guilt... in each and every email. I assure you that "it" wasn't an attorney. 

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