The moment you have all been waiting for! "The Best Of"

[Arks]

hmmmm ... there were so many but I'll stop at three.
The Night Crawler ... creepy, skinny old man who crept into the kitchen (barely) in boxer shorts for a good night kiss ... who I almost flattened with a frying pan
The Nut ... woman who locked herself in her room ... using this ...

and went ballistic screaming that someone had locked her in. My son would've LIKED to hit her with something.
The TP Thief whose suitcase burst open and a couple dozen rolls of toilet paper bounced down the stairs

.

You always had the best stories SS!
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You always had the best stories SS!

The "toilet roll" is probably my all time favorite innkeeping story. I love that story, love it!
.

My favorite story about innkeeping was from my friend who is now retired. Her husband agreed to B & B because she wanted it. First guests arrive while he is at work. They have a ranch house ant rented the 2 kids rooms (converted to B & B) that shared a bath across the hall.
He comes home and goes to their room to change out of work clothes and comes out into the hall just as the teen daughter of the guests exits the bathroom clad in bra, panties, and towel wrapped around hair. She said hello, he said hello as they passed and then went into the kitchen to tell his wife, "I think I am going to like this B & B stuff."
.

"I think I am going to like this B & B stuff."

But it's usually not a scantily-clad teenager. More likely a fat old guy in boxers and a "wife beater" undershirt.

 

[ukmaineiac]

Hmmm - well a joint effort between the guest and the innkeeper.
Returning guest (second stay) comes down to breakfast. The dining room is full and all other guests are new.
"Good Morning - I hope you slept well"
"Thank you, I slept wonderfully, but I had real trouble shaving in that second sink in the bathroom"
We have bidets in our rooms and he was testing my sense of humour. I knew exactly what I wanted to say. I knew I absolutely shouldn't say it. I knew I was going to say it anyway .....
"Well ..... I guess it really depends on what you're trying to shave"
Thankfully, those guests that "got it" were amused and it went way over the heads of everyone else.

 

[JBloggs]

Hmmm - well a joint effort between the guest and the innkeeper.
Returning guest (second stay) comes down to breakfast. The dining room is full and all other guests are new.
"Good Morning - I hope you slept well"
"Thank you, I slept wonderfully, but I had real trouble shaving in that second sink in the bathroom"
We have bidets in our rooms and he was testing my sense of humour. I knew exactly what I wanted to say. I knew I absolutely shouldn't say it. I knew I was going to say it anyway .....
"Well ..... I guess it really depends on what you're trying to shave"
Thankfully, those guests that "got it" were amused and it went way over the heads of everyone else..

Hmmm - well a joint effort between the guest and the innkeeper.
Returning guest (second stay) comes down to breakfast. The dining room is full and all other guests are new.
"Good Morning - I hope you slept well"
"Thank you, I slept wonderfully, but I had real trouble shaving in that second sink in the bathroom"
We have bidets in our rooms and he was testing my sense of humour. I knew exactly what I wanted to say. I knew I absolutely shouldn't say it. I knew I was going to say it anyway .....
"Well ..... I guess it really depends on what you're trying to shave"
Thankfully, those guests that "got it" were amused and it went way over the heads of everyone else.

ahhhhhhh
flashback to ice and the bidet...if you have never met Ice she is quite, er, vocal, and humorous, and delightful...she was delightful on the bidet on the innspiring road trip. TOO delightful.

 

[ukmaineiac]

My second .... and last guest experience that I'll never forget (and still makes me giggle).
Guests arrive 2 hours early. The moment I greet them I know I'm in for trouble. Their room (the best room) however is ready so I welcome them.
Long story, but I'm going to cut to the chase. A/C. It's June. It's cool. I put in a/c as late in the season as possible because it means losing a window for natural breezes.
"would you like a/c"
"Yes"
"No problem, I'll install when I do your turn-down"
"NO - NOW"
"OK - no problem"
I stagger into the room with a HUGE a/c and my cute briefcase tool box.
"Oh, for goodness sake ...... why can't you get your maintenance staff to do that for you"
"Oh my gosh, you're right. Let me get them up here".
I run downstairs, change into jeans, a baseball cap and my toolbelt, run back upstairs, knock on the door.
"Who is it"
"Maintenance !!! "

 

[JBloggs]

"What is the most outrageous thing someone has done at your B&B/Inn (a paying guest)."
I am asking about GUEST STORIES actually... BEST OF bad guest stories, outrageous guest stories...

 

[Ice]

My second .... and last guest experience that I'll never forget (and still makes me giggle).
Guests arrive 2 hours early. The moment I greet them I know I'm in for trouble. Their room (the best room) however is ready so I welcome them.
Long story, but I'm going to cut to the chase. A/C. It's June. It's cool. I put in a/c as late in the season as possible because it means losing a window for natural breezes.
"would you like a/c"
"Yes"
"No problem, I'll install when I do your turn-down"
"NO - NOW"
"OK - no problem"
I stagger into the room with a HUGE a/c and my cute briefcase tool box.
"Oh, for goodness sake ...... why can't you get your maintenance staff to do that for you"
"Oh my gosh, you're right. Let me get them up here".
I run downstairs, change into jeans, a baseball cap and my toolbelt, run back upstairs, knock on the door.
"Who is it"
"Maintenance !!! ".

My second .... and last guest experience that I'll never forget (and still makes me giggle).
Guests arrive 2 hours early. The moment I greet them I know I'm in for trouble. Their room (the best room) however is ready so I welcome them.
Long story, but I'm going to cut to the chase. A/C. It's June. It's cool. I put in a/c as late in the season as possible because it means losing a window for natural breezes.
"would you like a/c"
"Yes"
"No problem, I'll install when I do your turn-down"
"NO - NOW"
"OK - no problem"
I stagger into the room with a HUGE a/c and my cute briefcase tool box.
"Oh, for goodness sake ...... why can't you get your maintenance staff to do that for you"
"Oh my gosh, you're right. Let me get them up here".
I run downstairs, change into jeans, a baseball cap and my toolbelt, run back upstairs, knock on the door.
"Who is it"
"Maintenance !!! "

Amen!

 

[ukmaineiac]

Hmmm - well a joint effort between the guest and the innkeeper.
Returning guest (second stay) comes down to breakfast. The dining room is full and all other guests are new.
"Good Morning - I hope you slept well"
"Thank you, I slept wonderfully, but I had real trouble shaving in that second sink in the bathroom"
We have bidets in our rooms and he was testing my sense of humour. I knew exactly what I wanted to say. I knew I absolutely shouldn't say it. I knew I was going to say it anyway .....
"Well ..... I guess it really depends on what you're trying to shave"
Thankfully, those guests that "got it" were amused and it went way over the heads of everyone else..

Hmmm - well a joint effort between the guest and the innkeeper.
Returning guest (second stay) comes down to breakfast. The dining room is full and all other guests are new.
"Good Morning - I hope you slept well"
"Thank you, I slept wonderfully, but I had real trouble shaving in that second sink in the bathroom"
We have bidets in our rooms and he was testing my sense of humour. I knew exactly what I wanted to say. I knew I absolutely shouldn't say it. I knew I was going to say it anyway .....
"Well ..... I guess it really depends on what you're trying to shave"
Thankfully, those guests that "got it" were amused and it went way over the heads of everyone else.

ahhhhhhh
flashback to ice and the bidet...if you have never met Ice she is quite, er, vocal, and humorous, and delightful...she was delightful on the bidet on the innspiring road trip. TOO delightful.

.

Ice Ice Bidet, Ice Ice Bidet.
Hoping you're adding your own soundtrack

 

[Copperhead]

My second .... and last guest experience that I'll never forget (and still makes me giggle).
Guests arrive 2 hours early. The moment I greet them I know I'm in for trouble. Their room (the best room) however is ready so I welcome them.
Long story, but I'm going to cut to the chase. A/C. It's June. It's cool. I put in a/c as late in the season as possible because it means losing a window for natural breezes.
"would you like a/c"
"Yes"
"No problem, I'll install when I do your turn-down"
"NO - NOW"
"OK - no problem"
I stagger into the room with a HUGE a/c and my cute briefcase tool box.
"Oh, for goodness sake ...... why can't you get your maintenance staff to do that for you"
"Oh my gosh, you're right. Let me get them up here".
I run downstairs, change into jeans, a baseball cap and my toolbelt, run back upstairs, knock on the door.
"Who is it"
"Maintenance !!! ".

LOVE IT!

 

[Breakfast Diva]

Hmmm - well a joint effort between the guest and the innkeeper.
Returning guest (second stay) comes down to breakfast. The dining room is full and all other guests are new.
"Good Morning - I hope you slept well"
"Thank you, I slept wonderfully, but I had real trouble shaving in that second sink in the bathroom"
We have bidets in our rooms and he was testing my sense of humour. I knew exactly what I wanted to say. I knew I absolutely shouldn't say it. I knew I was going to say it anyway .....
"Well ..... I guess it really depends on what you're trying to shave"
Thankfully, those guests that "got it" were amused and it went way over the heads of everyone else..

Hmmm - well a joint effort between the guest and the innkeeper.
Returning guest (second stay) comes down to breakfast. The dining room is full and all other guests are new.
"Good Morning - I hope you slept well"
"Thank you, I slept wonderfully, but I had real trouble shaving in that second sink in the bathroom"
We have bidets in our rooms and he was testing my sense of humour. I knew exactly what I wanted to say. I knew I absolutely shouldn't say it. I knew I was going to say it anyway .....
"Well ..... I guess it really depends on what you're trying to shave"
Thankfully, those guests that "got it" were amused and it went way over the heads of everyone else.

That was a great line! I would have blurted it out too!

 

[Breakfast Diva]

My second .... and last guest experience that I'll never forget (and still makes me giggle).
Guests arrive 2 hours early. The moment I greet them I know I'm in for trouble. Their room (the best room) however is ready so I welcome them.
Long story, but I'm going to cut to the chase. A/C. It's June. It's cool. I put in a/c as late in the season as possible because it means losing a window for natural breezes.
"would you like a/c"
"Yes"
"No problem, I'll install when I do your turn-down"
"NO - NOW"
"OK - no problem"
I stagger into the room with a HUGE a/c and my cute briefcase tool box.
"Oh, for goodness sake ...... why can't you get your maintenance staff to do that for you"
"Oh my gosh, you're right. Let me get them up here".
I run downstairs, change into jeans, a baseball cap and my toolbelt, run back upstairs, knock on the door.
"Who is it"
"Maintenance !!! ".

 

[TheBeachHouse]

Y'all are scaring me.
The worst one we've had didn't bother us at all, but made me think a little.
Father and adult daughter checked in. I noticed they had only booked one room. I suggested we move them to a room with two beds. "No, we're fine." And yes, they both slept in the king bed.
Wouldn't have been my choice......but ......

 

[Copperhead]

Y'all are scaring me.
The worst one we've had didn't bother us at all, but made me think a little.
Father and adult daughter checked in. I noticed they had only booked one room. I suggested we move them to a room with two beds. "No, we're fine." And yes, they both slept in the king bed.
Wouldn't have been my choice......but .......

Y'all are scaring me.
The worst one we've had didn't bother us at all, but made me think a little.
Father and adult daughter checked in. I noticed they had only booked one room. I suggested we move them to a room with two beds. "No, we're fine." And yes, they both slept in the king bed.
Wouldn't have been my choice......but ......

This happened here just a couple weeks ago... gave me the creeps . Only difference in my story is they had a QN bed not king - yuck! AND he kept referencing her as his model.

 

[Generic]

Y'all are scaring me.
The worst one we've had didn't bother us at all, but made me think a little.
Father and adult daughter checked in. I noticed they had only booked one room. I suggested we move them to a room with two beds. "No, we're fine." And yes, they both slept in the king bed.
Wouldn't have been my choice......but .......

Not uncommon in Europe. Just think the best of it. We don't bat an eyelash when a mom and daughter do it and yet... it's really just as ick if you ask me.

 

[JBloggs]

What?!

 

[KarenTinker23]

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