5 star review that reads like a 3 star - not sure whether to laugh or cry

[Madeleine]

Help me!
"I'm a marshmallow I'm a marshmallow"
I wrote about a TA review saying we are 2 hours from the interstate on a scary one lane road... She replied to me via email. Yes I am laughing:
I saw your response to my review on Trip Advisor, and I just wanted to point out that it is indeed about a 1 3/4 hour drive from the interstate if you are coming from the south, as we were. When we left your town to head to DC, we went to Roanoke to the interstate and found that drive to be quite easy and short, less than an hour. But if you are coming up from the south, the drive from the interstate to your B&B is much longer (and scarier), due to the narrow winding roads. I think I should have been more specific about the distance depending on whether you are coming from north or south.
JB - So in a nutshell if you drive from the South on the interstate to our place it is much longer and scarier than going to our place from the North on the same interstate. I'm a marshmallow I'm a marshmallow...
We are exactly 31 miles from the interstate. 1 mile from the highway..

I bring my Beltway people in on I-68 & I-79. Many have looked at the map and decided US Rt 50 is a direct route. Rt 50 IS a direct route if you like 2-lane, twisty, mountain roads. There are KYA turns. I will not use it at night if going east (west it is 4-lane). These people arrive 4 hours later than they would have, white knuckles still clutching the steering wheel with eyes as big as saucers. OR we get the ones who instead of following my directions listen to Gertrude Garmin who tells them to exit at 129. This brings them in on a narrow 2-lane that even the locals avoid at night. See description above.
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I bring my Beltway people in on I-68 & I-79. Many have looked at the map and decided US Rt 50 is a direct route. Rt 50 IS a direct route if you like 2-lane, twisty, mountain roads. There are KYA turns. I will not use it at night if going east (west it is 4-lane). These people arrive 4 hours later than they would have, white knuckles still clutching the steering wheel with eyes as big as saucers. OR we get the ones who instead of following my directions listen to Gertrude Garmin who tells them to exit at 129. This brings them in on a narrow 2-lane that even the locals avoid at night. See description above.

But you see I don't bring my people in, they are using a GPS and not following any directions or even bringing a map. There is no GPS or Cell coverage once you go off the grid. But hey what do i know about where I have lived for 11 years. DOH!
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By I bring them in, I mean my directions. THEY follow the GPS or their own route. As you said, I do not know the best and fastest way to get to my house.
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By I bring them in, I mean my directions. THEY follow the GPS or their own route. As you said, I do not know the best and fastest way to get to my house.

I told this story the other day. I am worried about sharing here but I will. I was given directions to a B&B and what the heck, it was way way not the easiest way. I thought maybe they wanted me to see that side of their area on the way in? Or? Not sure...
As I left I was literally driving less than 1 mile from an interstate on-ramp, what the heck? I was thinking as I passed by razor wire and the state penitentiary for the criminally insane.
Oh. I thought. They don't want people coming INTO town that way, I understand now.
I think the first question in the door or if they turn around and leave would be about that!
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They don't want people coming INTO town that way, I understand now.

Exactly! I'll bet lots of folks try to give visitors a route that shows the area in its best light, vs. the shortest route if it goes through the worst part of town or something.
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They don't want people coming INTO town that way, I understand now.

Exactly! I'll bet lots of folks try to give visitors a route that shows the area in its best light, vs. the shortest route if it goes through the worst part of town or something.

A lot of people get off the interstate at the other end of town. It's a nice town but there are crosswalks every 20 feet. It's easier to walk thru town than drive. I tell them to get off the highway at this end of town. Which I then find means a lot of people have no idea we have a downtown. They are SHOCKED! when they go out for the day and see what's there. 'I had no idea!' is a common refrain.
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When people drive the the major metro area or airport, they reach our door and can be upset. They think we're frauds...they haven't seen an ocean yet and on top of that, the last 18 miles they haven't seen a store or a restaurant. They see lots of trees and farms. I've learned that when I greet them at the door, one of the first things I need to ask is which direction did they come from. At that point, I say "Oh, you haven't even seen the ocean yet and you're probably wondering where the restaurants are!" "You must think we're in the middle of nowhere". You can then see them loosen up immediately. Then we have a good laugh about it.
Sometimes it can be quite a challenge when they've created a negative image before they even get to your door.
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I thought you were in the middle of nowhere and all we did was 'drive by' the town I thought you were in! I know no one reads but maybe add that to your directions? 'Enjoy the rolling hills and farms on your drive from the city/airport to our inn. Once here, you're only 5 minutes to the ocean and restaurants.'
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I thought you were in the middle of nowhere and all we did was 'drive by' the town I thought you were in! I know no one reads but maybe add that to your directions? 'Enjoy the rolling hills and farms on your drive from the city/airport to our inn. Once here, you're only 5 minutes to the ocean and restaurants.'

This is what's on my directions page "When you arrive from this direction, you haven't seen the ocean or a town for many miles. Don't panic, they're close by!"
But of course, we know that people don't read

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OK, so it's in there. And, yes, those panicked people haven't read it.

 

[gillumhouse]

In my directions I take them to Exit 124 - no matter which direction (north or south) - even though north could come in from exit 125 (the first one they see). This is because if they miss the left turn just a short distance from the Interstate and go straight, they will end up (as guests recently did) in the City 10 miles north of me. The road they need to turn onto is the same road they will be turning onto 2 turns from the Interstate. It is a twisty road but #1 if they use #124 they will not miss the turn, #2 it eliminates a long steep hill up and back down and a sharp left curve (almost a 90 degree). #124 brings them onto the correct road just my side of the curve.