Are we too tough on new people?

[gillumhouse]

You're right. We should back off. There is no sense in alienating the folks who might be buying our businesses in a few years.
I, for one, will stop offering unsolicited advice to newbies.
However, I will still use this board as a place to GET info I need in order to run my business. And if that includes lifting the curtain to show how bad things can get, so be it. It has been my observation over the years that I get the tough customers that very few other innkeepers get. So, everyone should take my situations as the outliers..

Please don't stop commenting. I have found your advice very helpful and constructive. This is a tough business and people need to know it.
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Please don't stop commenting. I have found your advice very helpful and constructive. This is a tough business and people need to know it.

Yeah, I really can't shut up, but I don't have to answer questions that weren't asked.
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The person that this particular topic was about was given reasonable answers in the beginning - truthful but not snarky. It was only after he kept asking the same questions to someone else responding and not liking that he was getting the same refrain - each area is different with different rules, and refused to take steps on his own, wanted us to spoon-feed, that I personally got totally ticked. He wanted his answers the way he wanted to hear them. Too bad.

 

[SM101]

I'm in the "aspiring" category of an innkeeper - I don't post here often but I do pop in regularly to read. Eventually a very good friend of mine and I want to open an inn and restaurant....it's a few years off, but it's never too early to start on a business plan if you're serious about making a dream business a reality.
Perhaps the difference is that I've worked in the hospitality industry for many many years and I have a bachelor's in business. Working with people in hospitality can be the absolute best job....and also the absolute worst. While it's also a passion, it's first and foremost a business that has to follow certain rules AND ultimately make a profit I can live on.
I don't see people here as harsh....more so as fellow veterans of the hospitality industry. People outside the industry often have NO concept of what it takes to do this day in, day out, and deal with the ALL kinds o' folks that we deal with and keep your sanity. They also don't get that you can't just decorate a bedroom, come up with a couple of nice breakfast dishes, hang out your shingle and make a million.
The hospitality industry is NOT for wimps.

 

[JBloggs]

I know of several people on the board got a bit out of shape when joining, myself included. And most of us just went a head with it anyways...

Same here. I put about 6 regulars on "ignore this person" my first few weeks here, but my ignore list is now just 2, and neither of them post here anymore anyway.
But I'd say those who are so thin-skinned they leave after the first discouraging words are perhaps not cut out for dealing with the public anyway. I've oven been inspired by Camberley, who once described herself as having skin as thick as an elephant's..

I know of several people on the board got a bit out of shape when joining, myself included. And most of us just went a head with it anyways...

Same here. I put about 6 regulars on "ignore this person" my first few weeks here, but my ignore list is now just 2, and neither of them post here anymore anyway.
But I'd say those who are so thin-skinned they leave after the first discouraging words are perhaps not cut out for dealing with the public anyway. I've oven been inspired by Camberley, who once described herself as having skin as thick as an elephant's.

Glad you came back Arks, or wait, am I still on ignore and you aren't reading this?

I still have a couple on ignore. Yes, really.
We all come and go at times, we are all real people, and this is real feedback. Someone once commented how much they liked me (on the forum) but disliked "so and so" on the forum, which used to be me, btw. I still laugh at that. Perhaps my avatar makes a huge difference.
When I was a HE avatar or named JOE instead of JOEY I had a total different response from a few guys here. It was interesting. All it takes is a different avatar or name to be less liked or respected.
We can be a rough crowd, there is no getting past that. Yes, we can be. We don't try to be. As the Paul Thorn song goes "I don't like half the folks I love!"

 

[Country Girl]

I'm coming into this conversation a bit late, but I think you need both hard facts and rose colored glasses. The business side of this job is an extremely important aspect. You need to know what things cost, how much you can expect to earn, and what it's really like to deal with difficult guests. But if you look at just the facts you miss the emotional aspect of running a B&B. You do get to meet many wonderful, fascinating people who, for the most part, are on their best behavior. You are letting them into your home and you're giving them a glimpse into your life. In a very short period of time you can make a connection that lasts a lifetime. That is very rare today. And even if you have a guest that only stays for one night and never returns, by opening your home to them, you're allowing that person into your world. If you approach that experience with rose colored glasses and expect that the person stepping through that door is going to love everything about their stay then you're giving off a very positive vibe and I think guests can feel that.

 

[Sunshine]

I think the rose colored glasses are not the worst thing when it comes to a new venture. If you didn't have hope and enthusiasm, you would never get off the couch to get it going. Ideally we all want new people to enter the business as a rising tide lifts all boats. So maybe we should temper our advice with a bit of ... Any ideas?

..... Encouragement??
Yes, they need the 'truth' but we can do that with encouragement too can't we? Yes, we want people to be successful, but we can help them get there...
Just my thoughts..

 

[Skamokawa]

And there are some of us (me this time) who don't know to just leave a thread alone. I'm afraid I used my quiet morning coffee time (for once, not having to prep and cook breakfast) to get on this board and chat. I should have paid more attention to all the comments and responses preceding mine. On the other hand, I've never been called "Sir" before! <grin>
Most people encountering a forum (on any subject) new to them, know enough to read and lurk a bit before jumping in. This forum is one of the kinder ones. Really.

 

[JBloggs]

I have a brilliant and cunning plan.
Just saw this today on twitter and thought THIS is what we should do for Aspiring innkeepers, or those who are PRE-aspiring and come to the forum for answers. (and thes list, oddly enough actually fits INNKEEPING!)

Wake up and smell the cake: 50 things they never told you about being a chef http://bit.ly/11GIbpi

 

[toddburme]

Well number reason for small business failure is lack of capital. Thanks to our recent crisis and some very recent changes in our banking, you can now buy B&B's at 2003 prices and with less then 4% interest rates. So the market is helping aspirings right now.
This board is amazingly helpful. I think it is the best resource I have found for B&B advice. The bad news is I think that some people see the internet as the first step in acquiring knowledge about a prospective endeavor and not the last step. We just need to be aware that sometimes people will have the horse before the cart and it doesn't make them stupid but simply excited and a bit uninformed. I suffered through this and now have a thriving/decent B&B.
PS the top part applies to the USA..

not just the USA babe its the entire fricking world! - and I know plently of people are are S##tt###g themselves about paying their mortgages right now - however they don't particularly do anything about it so i am sorry but im not particularly sympathetic
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not just the USA babe its the entire fricking world! - and I know plently of people are are S##tt###g themselves about paying their mortgages right now - however they don't particularly do anything about it so i am sorry but im not particularly sympathetic

Sorry, it's quite different around here... the prices never went down but they have made it more difficult to get a mortgage. And then we have to deal with all the illegal competition.
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not just the USA babe its the entire fricking world! - and I know plently of people are are S##tt###g themselves about paying their mortgages right now - however they don't particularly do anything about it so i am sorry but im not particularly sympathetic

Sorry, it's quite different around here... the prices never went down but they have made it more difficult to get a mortgage. And then we have to deal with all the illegal competition.

I was thinking of Canada when I put the disclaimer in. Oh how we wish here to the South of you.

 

[toddburme]

I think the rose colored glasses are not the worst thing when it comes to a new venture. If you didn't have hope and enthusiasm, you would never get off the couch to get it going. Ideally we all want new people to enter the business as a rising tide lifts all boats. So maybe we should temper our advice with a bit of ... Any ideas?

..... Encouragement??
Yes, they need the 'truth' but we can do that with encouragement too can't we? Yes, we want people to be successful, but we can help them get there...
Just my thoughts...

Ahh yes! There we go. gillumhouse did a bit of that with me in the beginning. I too had tons of ideas. Mostly dumb ones but she shared some that had worked for her. She took time out of a schedule so busy that it amazes me and traded a few emails. Joey Bloggs did the same.
I think of this forum as so helpful. I just think that new people are nervous, etc about their new idea, and we of all people should understand that.
<==== gets down off of his soapbox. Sorry for the interruption.

 

[Copperhead]

You ask: Are we too tough on new people?
NO - we give the advise freely. We want them to succeed. But we are not being paid to hand hold, carry them through each step and tell them what they want to know even if it is not how it REALLY is. I have read here on the forum (and agree) innkeeping is not for wimps and getting in the business usually sets the tone for how much back bone you have. (hmmm maybe that is why!!)
We are cordial, but when someone continues (as in the tread that started this discussion) to make it sound as if we are holding back the real information I can see why those spending their time to help, would be upset.