Starting out...

[EmptyNest]

A farmstay is a family B&B.
I have looked at these in the past, as the kids get to go feed the chickens and collect eggs, and do all those farming adventure things. So for city slickers who want to take their kids to the country and have an experience. It is a package deal, however, it is not a one night here or there thing. So that eliminates so many guests (that we have here). It is a destination B&B. Bunk and Bridle, or whatever you choose it to be.
The other reason a family might choose a B&B is a safe environment. So what does this mean? Kids are quiet and in control at all times? No, they are safe and left to wander.
An option for a B&B that has little children might be a dog B&B, meaning bring your dog along, I think that is a great idea. However, the dogs that are brought to the current romantic B&B's are never welcomed to be patted on the head by kids. Their fluffy little babies are not even allowed to interact with other dogs, they are never treated as dogs. So it would have to be family dogs, big fun sloppy lovable dogs! Not those who use piddle pads.
I would love that..

Yes! That is actually a lot like what we envision. I want to eventually become a destination, maybe work with local schools. I want to have enough land to grow a significant part of the food we use in the b and b side and restaurant side. I don't know about animals (pets are fine with me) since I have no experience with farm animals and i am worried about the noise but I have thought about that, too. I want to do package deals with cooking classes also. It all sound very ambitious but I am thinking of building it up like this over several years.
We signed up for the June aspiring innkeeper class by the va b and b assoc and I am very excited to go. Thank you so much for all your help and advice!
.

Glad you signed up! You will learn alot. Ask lots of questions as well. They usually have several innkeepers on a panel to answer questions. Good luck.

 

[EmptyNest]

A farmstay is a family B&B.
I have looked at these in the past, as the kids get to go feed the chickens and collect eggs, and do all those farming adventure things. So for city slickers who want to take their kids to the country and have an experience. It is a package deal, however, it is not a one night here or there thing. So that eliminates so many guests (that we have here). It is a destination B&B. Bunk and Bridle, or whatever you choose it to be.
The other reason a family might choose a B&B is a safe environment. So what does this mean? Kids are quiet and in control at all times? No, they are safe and left to wander.
An option for a B&B that has little children might be a dog B&B, meaning bring your dog along, I think that is a great idea. However, the dogs that are brought to the current romantic B&B's are never welcomed to be patted on the head by kids. Their fluffy little babies are not even allowed to interact with other dogs, they are never treated as dogs. So it would have to be family dogs, big fun sloppy lovable dogs! Not those who use piddle pads.
I would love that..

Yes! That is actually a lot like what we envision. I want to eventually become a destination, maybe work with local schools. I want to have enough land to grow a significant part of the food we use in the b and b side and restaurant side. I don't know about animals (pets are fine with me) since I have no experience with farm animals and i am worried about the noise but I have thought about that, too. I want to do package deals with cooking classes also. It all sound very ambitious but I am thinking of building it up like this over several years.
We signed up for the June aspiring innkeeper class by the va b and b assoc and I am very excited to go. Thank you so much for all your help and advice!
.

Glad you signed up! You will learn alot. Ask lots of questions as well. They usually have several innkeepers on a panel to answer questions. Good luck.

 

[gillumhouse]

I had 3 kids (now grown) and I wouldn't have dreamed on inflicting them on my B & B guests (nor my guests on them) had I been in the business at that time. Just having my small dog who is obedient and well behaved is an issue at times with guests. I love kids, animals etc. and so do most people but they do not combine well with most B & B's. Maybe if you run a family style resort you can get away with it but a real B & B is where people go to get away from THEIR kids, and surely don't want to be bothered by OTHER PEOPLE'S KIDS...in my experience anyway. You will be asking for a nervous breakdown if you are trying to keep normal healthy kids quiet while your guests are there. Even the most well behaved children have meltdowns at times, or just make healthy noise while playing. The noises you want to hear from your children are not the noises other people want to hear when they are at a B & B. Sorry but that is the hard truth of it. Constantly asking your children to be quiet will not be a healthy environment for them to grow up in. It would be like raising children in the Victorian Era, to be seen and not heard. I would wait with the B & B idea until they are at least in their teens...or even better when they are out of the house altogether. I think you will really be asking too much of your children to expect them to keep up "B & B behavior" in their daily life, and as tempting as it sounds the "quality of life" you envision will not be what you are expecting..

We're not a 'family resort' by we do take children. We do state that on our website. We have rooms with more than one bed so we could have 4 giggling, drunk, adult women in the room. Making quite a bit more noise than a 5 year old.
Having my own kids here would be tough as it would 24x7. As long as the innkeeping quarters are really away from the guests and there is someone watching the kids while the parents work (while the kids are babies and toddlers) it's possible.
There are a few B&B's with rave reviews that include the innkeepers' kindergartner or older kid meeting and greeting and showing the guests to their rooms, serving breakfast and the like.
Stating that B&B's are ONLY for adults getting away from their kids REALLY limits the potential pool of guests.
I will admit to reading reviews that state that the owners' kids toys were everywhere and that the kids had the run of the house and staying elsewhere. I don't want to interact with the innkeepers' children when there are small herds of them. I don't want to miss the adult conversation because everyone is cooing over the adorable 5 year old going around with the canapes.
Basically, love kids in small doses but very small doses. Would stay somewhere that kids were welcome, can't avoid that at a hotel, but not overjoyed at sharing the common space with the kids who live there.
So, yes, there is a market for family-friendly B&B's but it's not a big market. If they are going to do a B&B with small kids, better to make sure that all guests know there might be a kid sighting during the stay. Either the owners' kid or a guest's kid.
We did have a guy ask us to guarantee there would be no children here during his stay and lo and behold there was one right across the hall from him. Can't guarantee no kids. Told the guy that. Said he should try B&B's with only one bed in each room or that state they don't accept kids.
.

Hello Madeline, Yes you are right, as you say that "there is a market for family-friendly B&B's but it's not a big market" so it would have limited appeal and if one were trying to run a financially viable & successful business I guess it would not be advisable to potentially limit ones possible income to guests tolerant of children at B & B's. It sounds like the young lady questioning us is not looking for just something to do in her "spare time" or "retirement" but something where she and her husband can make money, give up their day jobs and change their life style. I would hate to have her do so and find that she was unable to make it because she was overwhelmed between what it takes to raise a family in a B & B environment and the bad reviews she will inevitably get when her children have a melt down from time to time or she is just too strung out to deal with the needs of guests.
When someone goes into business I would like to see them start with the best chance of success and children in tow in this kind of business really limits their capability... at least in my personal opinion. Children today are not like children of my generation (I am 57). In my generation my parents could have raised me in a B & B. I did what I was told unquestioningly. Also people used to be more tolerant of children years ago...and I don't see that being the case anymore because people are too stressed and generally selfish.
I for one would hate to give someone false hope of good success when... sure...it is possible, but not probable. There are exceptions to every rule and she may have one of the families who could handle raising kids in a B & B environment but let's at least alert her to the minefield and pitfalls that she will surely encounter.
.

'Children today...' has been used forever as a code for 'kids who don't behave'. It's all in how the kids are raised.
But, yes, having a separate space for the family is important. The kids should have free run of their own space which is why floors and walls should not be abutting guest space.
We have one guest room that is underneath our space and when the grands are over they know they cannot run thru the upstairs room or even hang out in that room. They have to be in the rooms that have no adjoining walls or floors.
And, yes, I am the mean grandma who told one grandkid to 'take it outside' which caused the whole family to pack up and leave. Can't do that with your own kids in a business, tho!
The OP knows her kids. Knows their strenghths and weaknesses so it could work to be a 'regular' B&B that accepts kids. Not a family-friendly B&B that caters to kids. And if there is enough 'family' space for them it could work out. But 'enough' HAS to be: separate kitchen, living room, bedrooms, office, play space.
.

I raised kids in town and feel like they were at such a disadvantage! I grew up on a farm with plenty of open space - and feeling sooooo left out of everything because we were not close to anything. But as an adult, I was sorry my kids missed out on the freedom I did not realize I had when I had it. No matter where you bring up your kids - they will feel they were cheated. I have one who thinks he was a latch-key kid. His younger sister is trying to figure out how he got that idea. I worked nights (meaning graveyard) while DH either worked days or went to school days until they were of an age to never be home during the summer anyway. One thinks we were a dysfunctional family because cupboard doors were slammed (I slammed doors instead of slamming kids show me a family that is not "dysfunctional" in someone's opinion). But that is the one who thinks she is a Mother less Daughter.

 

[sachi3679]

A farmstay is a family B&B.
I have looked at these in the past, as the kids get to go feed the chickens and collect eggs, and do all those farming adventure things. So for city slickers who want to take their kids to the country and have an experience. It is a package deal, however, it is not a one night here or there thing. So that eliminates so many guests (that we have here). It is a destination B&B. Bunk and Bridle, or whatever you choose it to be.
The other reason a family might choose a B&B is a safe environment. So what does this mean? Kids are quiet and in control at all times? No, they are safe and left to wander.
An option for a B&B that has little children might be a dog B&B, meaning bring your dog along, I think that is a great idea. However, the dogs that are brought to the current romantic B&B's are never welcomed to be patted on the head by kids. Their fluffy little babies are not even allowed to interact with other dogs, they are never treated as dogs. So it would have to be family dogs, big fun sloppy lovable dogs! Not those who use piddle pads.
I would love that..

Yes! That is actually a lot like what we envision. I want to eventually become a destination, maybe work with local schools. I want to have enough land to grow a significant part of the food we use in the b and b side and restaurant side. I don't know about animals (pets are fine with me) since I have no experience with farm animals and i am worried about the noise but I have thought about that, too. I want to do package deals with cooking classes also. It all sound very ambitious but I am thinking of building it up like this over several years.
We signed up for the June aspiring innkeeper class by the va b and b assoc and I am very excited to go. Thank you so much for all your help and advice!
.

Taking the class will be very helpful! And, reading here about the trials and tribulations!
Out of the class you should come away with info on how to select the proper location for what you want to do. An understanding that no one is going to hand hold you thru the process and that if you mess up you are paying for it. (This includes things like buying a property where you can't do what you need to do to survive!)
Like me, I can't do cooking classes altho it would be a BIG sideline for us.
So, whenever you find the right spot for you be sure you go armed with all of your plans to different governing bodies and get, in writing, that you can do what you foresee. Or, be prepared to fight to get what you need. And that could take years.
.

Already doing lots and lots of reading on here =)
Yes, zoning is something I am a bit worried about since a lot of B&Bs seemed to be zoned residential which would kill most of our other plans.
Thanks so much for all the help. I am so glad I found this forum.

 

[sachi3679]

A farmstay is a family B&B.
I have looked at these in the past, as the kids get to go feed the chickens and collect eggs, and do all those farming adventure things. So for city slickers who want to take their kids to the country and have an experience. It is a package deal, however, it is not a one night here or there thing. So that eliminates so many guests (that we have here). It is a destination B&B. Bunk and Bridle, or whatever you choose it to be.
The other reason a family might choose a B&B is a safe environment. So what does this mean? Kids are quiet and in control at all times? No, they are safe and left to wander.
An option for a B&B that has little children might be a dog B&B, meaning bring your dog along, I think that is a great idea. However, the dogs that are brought to the current romantic B&B's are never welcomed to be patted on the head by kids. Their fluffy little babies are not even allowed to interact with other dogs, they are never treated as dogs. So it would have to be family dogs, big fun sloppy lovable dogs! Not those who use piddle pads.
I would love that..

Yes! That is actually a lot like what we envision. I want to eventually become a destination, maybe work with local schools. I want to have enough land to grow a significant part of the food we use in the b and b side and restaurant side. I don't know about animals (pets are fine with me) since I have no experience with farm animals and i am worried about the noise but I have thought about that, too. I want to do package deals with cooking classes also. It all sound very ambitious but I am thinking of building it up like this over several years.
We signed up for the June aspiring innkeeper class by the va b and b assoc and I am very excited to go. Thank you so much for all your help and advice!
.

Yes! That is actually a lot like what we envision. I want to eventually become a destination, maybe work with local schools. I want to have enough land to grow a significant part of the food we use in the b and b side and restaurant side. I don't know about animals (pets are fine with me) since I have no experience with farm animals and i am worried about the noise but I have thought about that, too. I want to do package deals with cooking classes also. It all sound very ambitious but I am thinking of building it up like this over several years. We signed up for the June aspiring innkeeper class by the va b and b assoc and I am very excited to go. Thank you so much for all your help and advice!

You may consider FLOYD VA.
It just depends how off the beaten track you want to be. There are some destination B&B's in Floyd, and one in the news the last few weeks bringing in a caboose or two as guest suites, which is totally neat. They are bringing these in for revenue to help their "Sustainable Floyd" ideas.
Here is one with home grown goodies. There is a vegetarian/vegan B&B there as well.
As for making money at it, there, that may be another story. But living off the grid, doing your own thing and having the mountains surrounding you, it is a great place. You have probably already been to Floyd VA.
There was an innkeeper there who served all meals to guests, since it was a bit remote. She was a chef and had her own restaurant in NY. She had an amazing farm with acres to hike and scenery to die for.
.

I have never been to Floyd. We are a couple of homebodies. We live not thirty miles outside of DC, work within stone's throw of the border and have been into DC exactly two times in two years. It looks very cool, although might be a little too, er, crunchy for my husband. I do want to be near some kind of attraction as a safety net while we build up. So much to ponder...

 

[sachi3679]

I had 3 kids (now grown) and I wouldn't have dreamed on inflicting them on my B & B guests (nor my guests on them) had I been in the business at that time. Just having my small dog who is obedient and well behaved is an issue at times with guests. I love kids, animals etc. and so do most people but they do not combine well with most B & B's. Maybe if you run a family style resort you can get away with it but a real B & B is where people go to get away from THEIR kids, and surely don't want to be bothered by OTHER PEOPLE'S KIDS...in my experience anyway. You will be asking for a nervous breakdown if you are trying to keep normal healthy kids quiet while your guests are there. Even the most well behaved children have meltdowns at times, or just make healthy noise while playing. The noises you want to hear from your children are not the noises other people want to hear when they are at a B & B. Sorry but that is the hard truth of it. Constantly asking your children to be quiet will not be a healthy environment for them to grow up in. It would be like raising children in the Victorian Era, to be seen and not heard. I would wait with the B & B idea until they are at least in their teens...or even better when they are out of the house altogether. I think you will really be asking too much of your children to expect them to keep up "B & B behavior" in their daily life, and as tempting as it sounds the "quality of life" you envision will not be what you are expecting..

I suppose I don't think of "inflicting" my kids on anyone. It is not as though I intend to promise a romantic getaway for two, then knock on their door at 6am and ask them to babysit while I make breakfast =) I, personally, leave my kids to get away *from* them, but to go away *with* my husband, so being in place with other's people children would not bother me. That said, yes, shrieking children are annoying, especially if you did not happen to birth them. I knew we had to be living below the guests, and after reading the responses here, I think that having separate living quarters is moving from a "would like" to a "must have." I don't expect them to be prim and proper all the time, although I do expect them to be well mannered. I also don't expect them to have a lot of contact with the guests.
Honestly (and try not to laugh too much at me here, okay?) I don't think I ever really thought of running a B&B as having guests in my house, so much as living where my business is, if that makes any sense. I have stayed in several B&Bs, although, now that I think of it, I think only one had an owner on premises when I stayed there. They actually had two boys, which I did not realize until they came out during breakfast to eat their meal (quietly and politely). So I guess what I am saying is, I never planned or imagined mixing my living space with the rented space, which is why of all the issues I have been imagining, my children bothering guests was never really one of them.
Also, waiting until they are much older is not really an option for us as my husband just turned 53 and would probably not be interested in starting a business in 15-20 years.

 

[gillumhouse]

I had 3 kids (now grown) and I wouldn't have dreamed on inflicting them on my B & B guests (nor my guests on them) had I been in the business at that time. Just having my small dog who is obedient and well behaved is an issue at times with guests. I love kids, animals etc. and so do most people but they do not combine well with most B & B's. Maybe if you run a family style resort you can get away with it but a real B & B is where people go to get away from THEIR kids, and surely don't want to be bothered by OTHER PEOPLE'S KIDS...in my experience anyway. You will be asking for a nervous breakdown if you are trying to keep normal healthy kids quiet while your guests are there. Even the most well behaved children have meltdowns at times, or just make healthy noise while playing. The noises you want to hear from your children are not the noises other people want to hear when they are at a B & B. Sorry but that is the hard truth of it. Constantly asking your children to be quiet will not be a healthy environment for them to grow up in. It would be like raising children in the Victorian Era, to be seen and not heard. I would wait with the B & B idea until they are at least in their teens...or even better when they are out of the house altogether. I think you will really be asking too much of your children to expect them to keep up "B & B behavior" in their daily life, and as tempting as it sounds the "quality of life" you envision will not be what you are expecting..

I suppose I don't think of "inflicting" my kids on anyone. It is not as though I intend to promise a romantic getaway for two, then knock on their door at 6am and ask them to babysit while I make breakfast =) I, personally, leave my kids to get away *from* them, but to go away *with* my husband, so being in place with other's people children would not bother me. That said, yes, shrieking children are annoying, especially if you did not happen to birth them. I knew we had to be living below the guests, and after reading the responses here, I think that having separate living quarters is moving from a "would like" to a "must have." I don't expect them to be prim and proper all the time, although I do expect them to be well mannered. I also don't expect them to have a lot of contact with the guests.
Honestly (and try not to laugh too much at me here, okay?) I don't think I ever really thought of running a B&B as having guests in my house, so much as living where my business is, if that makes any sense. I have stayed in several B&Bs, although, now that I think of it, I think only one had an owner on premises when I stayed there. They actually had two boys, which I did not realize until they came out during breakfast to eat their meal (quietly and politely). So I guess what I am saying is, I never planned or imagined mixing my living space with the rented space, which is why of all the issues I have been imagining, my children bothering guests was never really one of them.
Also, waiting until they are much older is not really an option for us as my husband just turned 53 and would probably not be interested in starting a business in 15-20 years.
.

As parents I do not think any of us thought of it as inflicting our kids on others - although I was known to tell friends considering having kids to come to our house for a day or two. We only had 6 the day we got married. Mine were well-behaved. For the wedding I took the oldest who was to be our best man for a new pair of shoes which meant all came. As there were only a couple chairs in the men's area, the other 5 went to the back of the store to wait. The clerk in the shoe store said as we were paying, "I cannot believe there were 6 kids in this store. There have been times with just one that I could not wait for them to leave." Thankfully they knew which side of the door to be normal on.
What is being said is each child will have what my psycho-babble daughter refers to as "ISSUES" and when they do, quiet will not matter to them in the least. In fact, it was when I was trying to sleep that the twicked-off kid would be certain to make the MOST noise possible.
What all are trying to do is get you to do what it sounds like you are starting to do now - consider how it will be for the kids with the B & B as well as for the B & B with the kids. Yes, it can be done. We have a member on this Forum raising twins she is homeschooling with the B & B. I cannot speak for others, but I consider it just as important to point out the pitfalls to prevent someone from sinking their life savings into something, finding out it was not what they expected it to be, and then discovering it will not be easy to sell - thus becoming disenchanted innkeepers who do not make for the great hosts we want to be. I also want to encourage someone who really has thought about ALL the pitfalls, work, time-consuming lifestyle and still wants to be an innkeeper in spite of it. THAT is why some have come off as being naysayers.
We have had someone in-house now for almost 6 weeks with no break. I have not been able to tell Mr. Wonderful what I thought about some of his comments or actions in almost 6 weeks because there has rarely been a time when we were the only people in the house (one of our guys is on night-shift and the other on days). If I was not able to go put in some volunteer hours at City Hall I would have exploded by now. I at least am old enough to go to City Hall and pound the file cabinet or the computer keys - kids do not have that option.

 

[sachi3679]

I had 3 kids (now grown) and I wouldn't have dreamed on inflicting them on my B & B guests (nor my guests on them) had I been in the business at that time. Just having my small dog who is obedient and well behaved is an issue at times with guests. I love kids, animals etc. and so do most people but they do not combine well with most B & B's. Maybe if you run a family style resort you can get away with it but a real B & B is where people go to get away from THEIR kids, and surely don't want to be bothered by OTHER PEOPLE'S KIDS...in my experience anyway. You will be asking for a nervous breakdown if you are trying to keep normal healthy kids quiet while your guests are there. Even the most well behaved children have meltdowns at times, or just make healthy noise while playing. The noises you want to hear from your children are not the noises other people want to hear when they are at a B & B. Sorry but that is the hard truth of it. Constantly asking your children to be quiet will not be a healthy environment for them to grow up in. It would be like raising children in the Victorian Era, to be seen and not heard. I would wait with the B & B idea until they are at least in their teens...or even better when they are out of the house altogether. I think you will really be asking too much of your children to expect them to keep up "B & B behavior" in their daily life, and as tempting as it sounds the "quality of life" you envision will not be what you are expecting..

I suppose I don't think of "inflicting" my kids on anyone. It is not as though I intend to promise a romantic getaway for two, then knock on their door at 6am and ask them to babysit while I make breakfast =) I, personally, leave my kids to get away *from* them, but to go away *with* my husband, so being in place with other's people children would not bother me. That said, yes, shrieking children are annoying, especially if you did not happen to birth them. I knew we had to be living below the guests, and after reading the responses here, I think that having separate living quarters is moving from a "would like" to a "must have." I don't expect them to be prim and proper all the time, although I do expect them to be well mannered. I also don't expect them to have a lot of contact with the guests.
Honestly (and try not to laugh too much at me here, okay?) I don't think I ever really thought of running a B&B as having guests in my house, so much as living where my business is, if that makes any sense. I have stayed in several B&Bs, although, now that I think of it, I think only one had an owner on premises when I stayed there. They actually had two boys, which I did not realize until they came out during breakfast to eat their meal (quietly and politely). So I guess what I am saying is, I never planned or imagined mixing my living space with the rented space, which is why of all the issues I have been imagining, my children bothering guests was never really one of them.
Also, waiting until they are much older is not really an option for us as my husband just turned 53 and would probably not be interested in starting a business in 15-20 years.
.

As parents I do not think any of us thought of it as inflicting our kids on others - although I was known to tell friends considering having kids to come to our house for a day or two. We only had 6 the day we got married. Mine were well-behaved. For the wedding I took the oldest who was to be our best man for a new pair of shoes which meant all came. As there were only a couple chairs in the men's area, the other 5 went to the back of the store to wait. The clerk in the shoe store said as we were paying, "I cannot believe there were 6 kids in this store. There have been times with just one that I could not wait for them to leave." Thankfully they knew which side of the door to be normal on.
What is being said is each child will have what my psycho-babble daughter refers to as "ISSUES" and when they do, quiet will not matter to them in the least. In fact, it was when I was trying to sleep that the twicked-off kid would be certain to make the MOST noise possible.
What all are trying to do is get you to do what it sounds like you are starting to do now - consider how it will be for the kids with the B & B as well as for the B & B with the kids. Yes, it can be done. We have a member on this Forum raising twins she is homeschooling with the B & B. I cannot speak for others, but I consider it just as important to point out the pitfalls to prevent someone from sinking their life savings into something, finding out it was not what they expected it to be, and then discovering it will not be easy to sell - thus becoming disenchanted innkeepers who do not make for the great hosts we want to be. I also want to encourage someone who really has thought about ALL the pitfalls, work, time-consuming lifestyle and still wants to be an innkeeper in spite of it. THAT is why some have come off as being naysayers.
We have had someone in-house now for almost 6 weeks with no break. I have not been able to tell Mr. Wonderful what I thought about some of his comments or actions in almost 6 weeks because there has rarely been a time when we were the only people in the house (one of our guys is on night-shift and the other on days). If I was not able to go put in some volunteer hours at City Hall I would have exploded by now. I at least am old enough to go to City Hall and pound the file cabinet or the computer keys - kids do not have that option.
.

Wow, six kids! I don't mean to say that I don't appreciate the comments, because I do. I get putting all the worst, scariest stuff up first. Looking around this forum, ya'll seem a great, very supportive group of people, so I don't think you would point out the problems for no reason. My husband is actually the one who always wanted to have a B&B. I always wanted to have some sort of food service - restaurant, cafe, etc. So, this is all new to me. And we will be sinking all of our savings into this, so I do want to sure we are doing the right thing. Most of all, I don't want to put my kids in a bad situation because this is really all for them, although as you posted earlier, all parents do terrible things to their kids, right? =)
At any rate, we are still very early in planning. We need the next year to continue building up our savings, so we shall see how this all works out.
And I am aware of just how crazy pants my older one can be. The little one is mellow, but the older one spent the entire 30 minute drive from the sitters to our house screaming about his jacket, of all things, today. I did think of inflicting him on the side of the road, but I believe that is frowned upon. =)
Thanks again for all the help!

 

[Joey Camb]

I had 3 kids (now grown) and I wouldn't have dreamed on inflicting them on my B & B guests (nor my guests on them) had I been in the business at that time. Just having my small dog who is obedient and well behaved is an issue at times with guests. I love kids, animals etc. and so do most people but they do not combine well with most B & B's. Maybe if you run a family style resort you can get away with it but a real B & B is where people go to get away from THEIR kids, and surely don't want to be bothered by OTHER PEOPLE'S KIDS...in my experience anyway. You will be asking for a nervous breakdown if you are trying to keep normal healthy kids quiet while your guests are there. Even the most well behaved children have meltdowns at times, or just make healthy noise while playing. The noises you want to hear from your children are not the noises other people want to hear when they are at a B & B. Sorry but that is the hard truth of it. Constantly asking your children to be quiet will not be a healthy environment for them to grow up in. It would be like raising children in the Victorian Era, to be seen and not heard. I would wait with the B & B idea until they are at least in their teens...or even better when they are out of the house altogether. I think you will really be asking too much of your children to expect them to keep up "B & B behavior" in their daily life, and as tempting as it sounds the "quality of life" you envision will not be what you are expecting..

I suppose I don't think of "inflicting" my kids on anyone. It is not as though I intend to promise a romantic getaway for two, then knock on their door at 6am and ask them to babysit while I make breakfast =) I, personally, leave my kids to get away *from* them, but to go away *with* my husband, so being in place with other's people children would not bother me. That said, yes, shrieking children are annoying, especially if you did not happen to birth them. I knew we had to be living below the guests, and after reading the responses here, I think that having separate living quarters is moving from a "would like" to a "must have." I don't expect them to be prim and proper all the time, although I do expect them to be well mannered. I also don't expect them to have a lot of contact with the guests.
Honestly (and try not to laugh too much at me here, okay?) I don't think I ever really thought of running a B&B as having guests in my house, so much as living where my business is, if that makes any sense. I have stayed in several B&Bs, although, now that I think of it, I think only one had an owner on premises when I stayed there. They actually had two boys, which I did not realize until they came out during breakfast to eat their meal (quietly and politely). So I guess what I am saying is, I never planned or imagined mixing my living space with the rented space, which is why of all the issues I have been imagining, my children bothering guests was never really one of them.
Also, waiting until they are much older is not really an option for us as my husband just turned 53 and would probably not be interested in starting a business in 15-20 years.
.

As parents I do not think any of us thought of it as inflicting our kids on others - although I was known to tell friends considering having kids to come to our house for a day or two. We only had 6 the day we got married. Mine were well-behaved. For the wedding I took the oldest who was to be our best man for a new pair of shoes which meant all came. As there were only a couple chairs in the men's area, the other 5 went to the back of the store to wait. The clerk in the shoe store said as we were paying, "I cannot believe there were 6 kids in this store. There have been times with just one that I could not wait for them to leave." Thankfully they knew which side of the door to be normal on.
What is being said is each child will have what my psycho-babble daughter refers to as "ISSUES" and when they do, quiet will not matter to them in the least. In fact, it was when I was trying to sleep that the twicked-off kid would be certain to make the MOST noise possible.
What all are trying to do is get you to do what it sounds like you are starting to do now - consider how it will be for the kids with the B & B as well as for the B & B with the kids. Yes, it can be done. We have a member on this Forum raising twins she is homeschooling with the B & B. I cannot speak for others, but I consider it just as important to point out the pitfalls to prevent someone from sinking their life savings into something, finding out it was not what they expected it to be, and then discovering it will not be easy to sell - thus becoming disenchanted innkeepers who do not make for the great hosts we want to be. I also want to encourage someone who really has thought about ALL the pitfalls, work, time-consuming lifestyle and still wants to be an innkeeper in spite of it. THAT is why some have come off as being naysayers.
We have had someone in-house now for almost 6 weeks with no break. I have not been able to tell Mr. Wonderful what I thought about some of his comments or actions in almost 6 weeks because there has rarely been a time when we were the only people in the house (one of our guys is on night-shift and the other on days). If I was not able to go put in some volunteer hours at City Hall I would have exploded by now. I at least am old enough to go to City Hall and pound the file cabinet or the computer keys - kids do not have that option.
.

Wow, six kids! I don't mean to say that I don't appreciate the comments, because I do. I get putting all the worst, scariest stuff up first. Looking around this forum, ya'll seem a great, very supportive group of people, so I don't think you would point out the problems for no reason. My husband is actually the one who always wanted to have a B&B. I always wanted to have some sort of food service - restaurant, cafe, etc. So, this is all new to me. And we will be sinking all of our savings into this, so I do want to sure we are doing the right thing. Most of all, I don't want to put my kids in a bad situation because this is really all for them, although as you posted earlier, all parents do terrible things to their kids, right? =)
At any rate, we are still very early in planning. We need the next year to continue building up our savings, so we shall see how this all works out.
And I am aware of just how crazy pants my older one can be. The little one is mellow, but the older one spent the entire 30 minute drive from the sitters to our house screaming about his jacket, of all things, today. I did think of inflicting him on the side of the road, but I believe that is frowned upon. =)
Thanks again for all the help!
.

As one of the few on the back end of this ie was a B&B kid - didn't bother me, we used to do our own ironing and one of my jobs was pressing the folded sheets in a huge linen press. To be honest I don't thing we really thought about the noise - there was so much of it everywhere we just blended in!

 

[CafeMae]

I had 3 kids (now grown) and I wouldn't have dreamed on inflicting them on my B & B guests (nor my guests on them) had I been in the business at that time. Just having my small dog who is obedient and well behaved is an issue at times with guests. I love kids, animals etc. and so do most people but they do not combine well with most B & B's. Maybe if you run a family style resort you can get away with it but a real B & B is where people go to get away from THEIR kids, and surely don't want to be bothered by OTHER PEOPLE'S KIDS...in my experience anyway. You will be asking for a nervous breakdown if you are trying to keep normal healthy kids quiet while your guests are there. Even the most well behaved children have meltdowns at times, or just make healthy noise while playing. The noises you want to hear from your children are not the noises other people want to hear when they are at a B & B. Sorry but that is the hard truth of it. Constantly asking your children to be quiet will not be a healthy environment for them to grow up in. It would be like raising children in the Victorian Era, to be seen and not heard. I would wait with the B & B idea until they are at least in their teens...or even better when they are out of the house altogether. I think you will really be asking too much of your children to expect them to keep up "B & B behavior" in their daily life, and as tempting as it sounds the "quality of life" you envision will not be what you are expecting..

I suppose I don't think of "inflicting" my kids on anyone. It is not as though I intend to promise a romantic getaway for two, then knock on their door at 6am and ask them to babysit while I make breakfast =) I, personally, leave my kids to get away *from* them, but to go away *with* my husband, so being in place with other's people children would not bother me. That said, yes, shrieking children are annoying, especially if you did not happen to birth them. I knew we had to be living below the guests, and after reading the responses here, I think that having separate living quarters is moving from a "would like" to a "must have." I don't expect them to be prim and proper all the time, although I do expect them to be well mannered. I also don't expect them to have a lot of contact with the guests.
Honestly (and try not to laugh too much at me here, okay?) I don't think I ever really thought of running a B&B as having guests in my house, so much as living where my business is, if that makes any sense. I have stayed in several B&Bs, although, now that I think of it, I think only one had an owner on premises when I stayed there. They actually had two boys, which I did not realize until they came out during breakfast to eat their meal (quietly and politely). So I guess what I am saying is, I never planned or imagined mixing my living space with the rented space, which is why of all the issues I have been imagining, my children bothering guests was never really one of them.
Also, waiting until they are much older is not really an option for us as my husband just turned 53 and would probably not be interested in starting a business in 15-20 years.
.

As parents I do not think any of us thought of it as inflicting our kids on others - although I was known to tell friends considering having kids to come to our house for a day or two. We only had 6 the day we got married. Mine were well-behaved. For the wedding I took the oldest who was to be our best man for a new pair of shoes which meant all came. As there were only a couple chairs in the men's area, the other 5 went to the back of the store to wait. The clerk in the shoe store said as we were paying, "I cannot believe there were 6 kids in this store. There have been times with just one that I could not wait for them to leave." Thankfully they knew which side of the door to be normal on.
What is being said is each child will have what my psycho-babble daughter refers to as "ISSUES" and when they do, quiet will not matter to them in the least. In fact, it was when I was trying to sleep that the twicked-off kid would be certain to make the MOST noise possible.
What all are trying to do is get you to do what it sounds like you are starting to do now - consider how it will be for the kids with the B & B as well as for the B & B with the kids. Yes, it can be done. We have a member on this Forum raising twins she is homeschooling with the B & B. I cannot speak for others, but I consider it just as important to point out the pitfalls to prevent someone from sinking their life savings into something, finding out it was not what they expected it to be, and then discovering it will not be easy to sell - thus becoming disenchanted innkeepers who do not make for the great hosts we want to be. I also want to encourage someone who really has thought about ALL the pitfalls, work, time-consuming lifestyle and still wants to be an innkeeper in spite of it. THAT is why some have come off as being naysayers.
We have had someone in-house now for almost 6 weeks with no break. I have not been able to tell Mr. Wonderful what I thought about some of his comments or actions in almost 6 weeks because there has rarely been a time when we were the only people in the house (one of our guys is on night-shift and the other on days). If I was not able to go put in some volunteer hours at City Hall I would have exploded by now. I at least am old enough to go to City Hall and pound the file cabinet or the computer keys - kids do not have that option.
.

Wow, six kids! I don't mean to say that I don't appreciate the comments, because I do. I get putting all the worst, scariest stuff up first. Looking around this forum, ya'll seem a great, very supportive group of people, so I don't think you would point out the problems for no reason. My husband is actually the one who always wanted to have a B&B. I always wanted to have some sort of food service - restaurant, cafe, etc. So, this is all new to me. And we will be sinking all of our savings into this, so I do want to sure we are doing the right thing. Most of all, I don't want to put my kids in a bad situation because this is really all for them, although as you posted earlier, all parents do terrible things to their kids, right? =)
At any rate, we are still very early in planning. We need the next year to continue building up our savings, so we shall see how this all works out.
And I am aware of just how crazy pants my older one can be. The little one is mellow, but the older one spent the entire 30 minute drive from the sitters to our house screaming about his jacket, of all things, today. I did think of inflicting him on the side of the road, but I believe that is frowned upon. =)
Thanks again for all the help!
.

I've only been in business for 6 months, and there is a lot that I don't know...but I would also say that there are many non-traditional setups to a successful B&B/inn that may work well for a family...and if you separate your living space from the guests, it may make sense. In our place (but kidless), we have private entrances to each room, and a private entrance to our living space. One of the most popular places in my area is little lux. cabins (guests) with a main house(owners) and the owners provide breakfast in a basket to the guests. Guests prepare own breakfast. The idea of agriculture homestays fascinate me too.
Right now, I'm listening to a pretty good audio book called The Personal MBA. I recommend it. Simple and straightforward. Your comment about investing your savings made me think of one of his checklists in the initial chapters for how likely your business idea is to succeed. (I filled it out for my current business, and fell in the maybe - but it will take work category...sigh).

 

[candi]

I can help!! Call or email me [email protected] or 828-260-1866